The Social Climber's Bible

A Book of Manners, Practical Tips, and Spiritual Advice for the Upwardly Mobile

By: Dirk Wittenborn, Jazz Johnson

Narrated by: Mozhan Marno

Welcome fledging Social Climbers! Allow us to show you the way. Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it. So what’s the big deal? You shouldn’t be punished for wanting to improve your lot in life! This is America, after all. In the grand tradition of True Prep and The Hipster Handbook, The Social Climber’s Bible will teach you everything you need to know to become a pro Mountaineer:

• The Art of Social Climbing at gallery openings, cocktail parties, and funerals
• Social Climbing as a family
• How to handle sex, dating, marriage, and love
• Your social climbing IQ and how to improve it
• How to spot a Big Fish, Whale, Turtle or Unicorn, and what they can do for you.

Johnson & Johnson heiress Jazz Johnson is a lifelong insider in that rarefied world that fans of both Downton Abbey and Gossip Girl dream about. Raconteur Dirk Wittenborn is old enough to remember when sex was safe and cocaine wasn’t addictive. In short, Jazz belongs to some of the most exclusive clubs in the world, whereas Dirk has been kicked out of them. Who better to guide you?

©2014 Dirk Wittenborn and Jazz Johnson (P)2014 Recorded Books

Amazing performance.

The performance of Morgan Marno, Amazing!!!! Funny, entertaining, with a hint of burlesque and a lot of true.

Wow! Fearless.

This book doesn’t pull punches. It gives it to you straight. Compelling, honest, and elegantly blunt.

SO funny!

Wow... 😳😂 I understand rich people and their entourages much better now. The art world section answered questions I’ve had for decades. Very entertaining!
And the narrator is absolutely perfect.

If you want to move up, you had better read this

Tongue-in-cheek, but also very very true. I will definitely be looking out for volume number two.

pretty good

Enjoyable book and although I forgotten the advice already, it was a fun listen :-)

so great!

Honestly, this book was shocking at first. But so worth the read! I won't lie, I was born pretty naive. This book not only opened my eyes, but empowered me. I may not do everything suggested but at least I am now informed. Thank you!

Worth a chuckle, at least

Good performance. Entertaining subject matter and a few good tips for the socially impaired like myself. Don't think I'll be hobnobbing with aristocrats any time soon, but I may just finagle a raise

Witty and irreverent!

This book is a combination of shameless self promotion and biting social commentary. The style and delivery are astute, current and often laugh out loud funny. Everyone knows someone who would *cough* get something out of this book. But even if you are completely happy with your lot in life and climbing the social ladder holds no interest for you this book is still a wickedly funny and sadly accurate peek into the strangely fascinating world of the "right" people.

Listened while driving

Perfect made me laugh. Very good book.
The narrator was a great voice for the book.

I hope this is satire...

This book appeals to narcissists and sociopaths. It discusses methods for getting to "the top," including lying and deceiving. Water sinks to its own level, and you attract who you become. If someone is a liar and deceitful, you'll befriend others with the same mentality. I refuse to surround myself with phony people purposely.