The Shape of My Eyes

A Memoir of Race, Faith, and Finding Myself

By: Dave Gibbons

Narrated by: Dave Gibbons

A touching, humorous account of the author’s cultural reckoning with his Korean heritage and hidden family secrets.

A surprising diagnosis of PTSD led Dave Gibbons to look to his past for clues to explain the unexpected result.

Born to an American soldier and a Korean mother in the wake of the Korean War, Dave has spent his life struggling to blend his Korean roots and his very American upbringing. The family joins a conservative church that embraces a strict, rule-based faith, and they try to navigate life as one of the few mixed-raced families in their community. But when tragedy strikes, tearing the family apart, Dave is forced to face long-buried secrets that he can no longer ignore.

As he explores his family’s difficult past, he confronts his own pain and the persistent feelings of not quite fitting in either in America or his mother’s home country. And when a DNA test ultimately reveals a truth that shatters everything he understood about his history, he begins the journey to reconcile his American upbringing with his deep Korean roots, and he is forced to confront the traumas he unknowingly carried.

The Shape of My Eyes beautifully weaves historic reference points of the oppression and discrimination against Asian Americans with Dave’s own personal story. Dave’s wrestling with belonging in his family, in America, and in the church creates a raw, thought-provoking memoir about race, religion and finding home.

©2024 Dave Gibbons (P)2024 Worthy Books

Critic reviews

"The Shape of My Eyes is a compelling and introspective memoir that gracefully navigates the complexities of identity, cultural heritage, and the journey of self-discovery. Dave's quest for forgiveness and personal authenticity is a powerful testament to the beauty of turning pain into a force for good. With captivating stories from a life lived at the intersection of races, cultures, and worlds, Dave's spiritual faith and defiance of cultural expectations is a manifesto for those who live at the intersection of cultures, striving to make sense of our identities and impact the world positively. A powerful and uplifting must-read for anyone committed to the hard, hopeful work of building a better world."—Sylvia Kim, Founder & CEO, Rebel For Good

Great story.

I loved that this was read by the author. It’s more meaningful to me this way. Appreciated the way he handled his trials with grace. It’s inspired me to want to do better in the wounds I have in my life. Thank you for sharing this. I know it’s not easy as a pastor to share things without feeling you’re sharing someone else’s story but you did that perfectly. Got to the essence without feeling catty. Loved it.

Beautiful and vulnerable memoir of a humble leader

What a gift to get insight into the life of a man who treats his community (who is as diverse as it gets in all variables) like family.

Captivating, heartfelt and relatable

Growing up multiracial I’ve struggled with fitting in, now aging parents (mom has passed), struggling with religion but holding on to faith feeling there was more out there this misfit teacher with a love for God and his people could resonate so much with book. Thank you for your willingness to share your story and share pearls of wisdom the Lord help you uncover in your journey and destiny in Christ. Shalom

Authentic Memoir on Faith, Race, and Culture

Dave’s honesty and rawness shine throughout The Shape of My Eyes. The experiences he shares from his childhood to adulthood are culturally and spiritually thought-provoking, unexpectedly relatable, and clearly written from the heart. At times, it made me laugh, and at other moments, it made me tear up. It’s refreshing to see someone in a pastoral position connect so deeply both within and beyond the Christian circle. I also appreciated the Korean concepts he shares, illustrating how the merging of multiple cultures in one’s life can be complex yet profoundly beautiful.

Beautiful authentic story

Having known Dave for over 15 years, I loved learning more of the back story, highs and lows and unique experiences that shape who he is today.

So many emotions…

I found so much of my own story reflected in Gibbons’ writing. His portrayal of the Asian American experience—feeling like a perpetual foreigner, struggling to navigate between two cultures, and wrestling with questions of identity and belonging—resonated deeply with me.

As Gibbons vividly recounted his life and his complex relationships with his parents, I felt my emotions welling up. His honesty and vulnerability made it a privilege to be invited into his world.

A beautifully told and deeply moving story—reading it was an absolute pleasure.

Heartwarming and wrenching at the same time!

This memoir was so raw and honest! I cried, laughed, was angry at the injustice he felt! Appreciated his heart for the outcast, minority, and his mother. Loved reading this!

Not for me!

If you are not Christian and interested in every other sentence being about that faith this is NOT for you.