The Sex Lives of Siamese Twins

A Novel

By: Irvine Welsh

Narrated by: Penelope Rawlins, Lorelei King

The famed - some would say notorious - author of Trainspotting and many other brilliant offenses against common literary decency comes at last to America, with a dark and twisted tale of personal training and abject codependency in the fading glitter of Miami's South Beach, with a novel that asks the provocative question: Why would you want to be "the Biggest Loser" anyway?

When Lucy Brennan, a Miami Beach personal-fitness trainer, disarms an apparently crazed gunman chasing two frightened homeless men along a deserted causeway at night, the police and the breaking-news cameras are not far behind. Within hours, Lucy becomes a hero. Her celebrity is short-lived, though: the "crazed gunman", turns out to be a victim of child sexual abuse and the two men are serial pedophiles.

The solitary eyewitness, the depressed and overweight Lena Sorenson, thrilled by Lucy's heroism and decisiveness, becomes obsessed with the trainer and enrolls as a client at her Bodysculpt gym. It quickly becomes clear that Lena is more interested in Lucy's body than her own. Then, when one of the pedophiles she allowed to escape carries out a heinous sex attack, Lucy's transition from hero to villain is complete. When Lucy imprisons Lena, and can't stop thinking about the sex lives of Siamese twins, the real problems start.

In Lucy and Lena, Irvine Welsh has created two of his most memorable female protagonists, and one of the most bizarre, sadomasochistic folie à deux in contemporary fiction. The Sex Lives of Siamese Twins taps into two great obsessions of our time - how we look and where we live - and tells a story so subversive and dark it blacks out the Florida sun.

©2015 Irvine Welsh (P)2015 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

"[A] reliably maniacal spin on the Pygmalion tale." ( Publishers Weekly)

"No one can write about a sociopath in love with so much heart… not only cleverly conceived but genuinely, hauntingly, transgressive." ( The Guardian)

"This knockabout caper of Miami vice…[is] a riot of sex and exercise." ( The Observer)

A really great examination of what makes us

Please be advised that this book is chalk full off curse words and explicit sex, but worth the listen.I don't have expectations of books, but this one was very entertaining and thoughtfully done.
I loved how negative Lucy made all the trite "positive" affirmations that we throw around, while assuming it is still positive and not bullying.
Generally well cobbled and, in its way, a thinker.
Enjoy😀

One of The Greats.

It took me a little while to really appreciate the voices but in the end I did. The book in and of itself is phenomenal. Like any crime noir. Like Hubert Selby Jr mixed with Chuck Palahniuk and Iain Banks. And some Hunter S Thompson as well. I just can’t say enough about the brilliance of this book. I couldn’t stop one I was hooked. Thank you.

Grating performance, disturbing text, interesting concept

If you get past the god awful narration of the opening character and make it through this mess, you’ll find a series of really disturbing, inauthentic scenes, draped in a curious story concept. I purchased this on a “highly rated” recco from Audible. Last time I do that. I’ve never read Trainspotting, only seen the picture which I was a fan of. Now I wonder if I ever would have seen it had I read the book first. If it reads like this one, then I highly doubt it.

OK

A bit predictable and the sex scenes were way over the top, but a fun, if not somewhat disturbing read.

Irvine Welsh has once again done it!

Loved it! Intrigued, and amazed at every corner of the book! Thank you once again!

does not disappoint

not an easy listen because of the serious subject matter, but full of colorful and real language and ideas that were very thought provoking

Irvine welsh continues to come through because he is unafraid of exploring complex and taboo themes

Totally and utterly disturbed

For females that listen to or read this book: it will probably disturb you. Welsh wants to disturb you though. However, for some survivors of sexual violence, this book may be triggering.

Beautifully crafted, witty, explicit

I became thoroughly absorbed by the two voices of the lead female protagonists...the book describes the effects of old emotional wounds - how they control the present if left unprocessed, and it portrays the 'taboo' emotions anger and fear deftly and thoroughly. The action plot line isn't hampered or measured - it is bold, excessive and extremely graphic! I belly laughed several times, and I enjoyed the well-observed range of characters, especially Lucy's parents.

the narration ruined it for me

I'm struggling to get through it. the voice acting of Penelope is just dreadful.

The worst lesbian/bi narrative I’ve ever read. Such a male understanding of these characters.

The characters were flat, and I feel like it was a guy in the locker room trying to tell his buddies about what lesbian/bisexual women are actually like.