The Secret Diary of a British Muslim Aged 13 3/4
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The Secret Diary of a British Muslim Aged 13 3/4
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Narrated by:
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Tez Ilyas
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By:
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Tez Ilyas
About this listen
The hilarious and pubescent debut book from your favourite British Muslim comedian (that's Tez Ilyas, by the way). You may know and love Tez from his stand-up comedy, his role as Eight in Man Like Mobeen, his Radio 4 series TEZ Talks, or panel shows such as Mock the Week and The Last Leg. Where you won't know him from is 1997, when he was 13¾. (But now you will—because that's what the book is about.)
In this suitably dramatic rollercoaster of a teenage memoir, Tez takes us back to where it all began: a working class, insular British Asian Muslim community in his hometown of post-Thatcher Blackburn. Meet Ammi (Mum), Baji Rosey (the older sister), Shibz (the fashionable cousin), Was (the cool cousin), Shiry (the cleverest cousin) and a community with the most creative nicknames this side of Top Gun.
Running away from shotgun-wielding farmers, successfully dodging arranged marriages, getting mugged, having front-row seats to race riots and achieving formative sexual experiences doing stomach crunches in a gym, you could say life was fairly run of the mill. But with a GCSE pass rate of 30 percent at his school, his own fair share of family tragedy around the corner and 9/11 on the horizon, Tez's experiences of growing up as a British Muslim wasn't the fun, Jihad-pursuing affair the media wants you to believe. Well...not always.
At times shalwar-wettingly hilarious and at others searingly sad, The Secret Diary of a British Muslim Aged 13¾ shows '90s Britain at its best and its worst.
©2021 Tez Ilyas (P)2021 Hachette Audio UKListeners also enjoyed...
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Londoners: The Days and Nights of London Now - As Told by Those Who Love It, Hate It, Live It, Left It, and Long for It
- By: Craig Taylor
- Narrated by: Anna Bentinck, Stephen Crossley, Sartaj Garewell, and others
- Length: 14 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 46
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 38
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 38
Here are the voices of London - rich and poor, native and immigrant, women and men. From the woman whose voice announces the stations on the London Underground to the man who plants the trees along Oxford Street; from a Pakistani currency trader to a Guardsman at Buckingham Palace - together, these voices paint a vivid, epic and wholly fresh portrait of 21st Century London.
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5 out of 5 stars
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An interesting look at what makes London tick.
- By tim on 12-11-12
By: Craig Taylor
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Spare
- By: Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex
- Narrated by: Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex
- Length: 15 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 70,973
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 65,518
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Story5 out of 5 stars 65,310
It was one of the most searing images of the twentieth century: two young boys, two princes, walking behind their mother’s coffin as the world watched in sorrow—and horror. As Princess Diana was laid to rest, billions wondered what Prince William and Prince Harry must be thinking and feeling—and how their lives would play out from that point on.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Gutterball!
- By Jimmyjoejangles on 01-10-23
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Challenge Accepted!
- 253 Steps to Becoming an Anti-It Girl
- By: Celeste Barber
- Narrated by: Celeste Barber
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,038
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 923
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 913
Part memoir, part comedy routine, part advice manual, Challenge Accepted! is Celeste at her best, revealing her secrets to love, friendship, family, and marriage (oh hai, #hothusband), and how to deal with life’s many challenges - why she checks the bath for sharks, how Nutella quite literally shaped who she is as a woman, and why being famous on Instagram is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s real, like totally, really real.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Prepare to crack up in the grocery store
- By Chicago_Mama on 05-30-19
By: Celeste Barber
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A Very Punchable Face
- A Memoir
- By: Colin Jost
- Narrated by: Colin Jost
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 9,740
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 8,418
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8,363
If there’s one trait that makes someone well-suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch - metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy - with a face you can’t help but want to punch.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Amazing
- By Erin E. Kace on 07-27-20
By: Colin Jost