The Reappearing Act

Coming Out as Gay on a College Basketball Team Led by Born-Again Christians

By: Kate Fagan

Narrated by: Kate Udall

It’s hard enough coming out, but playing basketball for a nationally ranked school and trying to figure out your sexual identity in the closeted and paranoid world of big-time college sports - that’s a challenge.

Kate Fagan’s love for basketball and for her religious teammates at the University of Colorado was tested by the gut-wrenching realization that she could no longer ignore the feelings of otherness inside her. In trying to blend in, Kate had created a hilariously incongruous world for herself in Boulder. Her best friends were part of Colorado’s Fellowship of Christian Athletes, where they ran weekly Bible studies and attended an Evangelical Free Church. For nearly a year, Kate joined them and learned all she could about Christianity - even holding their hands as they prayed for others "living a sinful lifestyle". Each time the issue of homosexuality arose, she felt as if a neon sign appeared over her head, with a giant arrow pointed downward. During these prayer sessions, she would often keep her eyes open, looking around the circle at the closed eyelids of her friends, listening to the earnestness of their words.

Kate didn’t have a vocabulary for discussing who she really was and what she felt when she was younger; all she knew was that she had a secret. In The Reappearing Act, she brings the listener along for the ride as she slowly accepts her new reality and takes the first steps toward embracing her true self.

©2014 Kate Fagan (P)2014 Audible Inc.

Hits close to home

I thought I was picking up a fictional story but it turned out to be non-fiction. Kate put down in words the struggles so many of us have gone through but can’t or don’t feel comfortable talking about. A difficult read for me at times. I wish I could get some of my “praying for you” friends to read it to see what really goes on in our heads and how they sometimes make things so much worse when
they think they are doing what’s right.

Touching, witty and inspiring coming out story

The stakes were high playing in a major college program. Kate had the advantage of playing for a coach who didn't black ball her players because of being gay. Yet peer pressure to conform is harsher when discovering you are different.

Loved Kate's honesty and humor. A lot of her coming out story rings true for many others.

Hated that it ended.

Amazing memoir!

This memoir was well-done, thought-provoking, and I felt that her writing style made it easy to connect with her and her story. Kate Fagan was clearly not a stranger to doing hard things through her academic and athletic careers. Then, she finds herself in a position through trying to connect with her team members and in an evangelical group who seemingly tried to help but alienated her core self. She demonstrated so much courage and her sharing her story will no doubt help others who either are struggling themselves and/or want to support loved ones coming out.

Great book but ....

What made the experience of listening to The Reappearing Act the most enjoyable?

The narrator's voice is similar to the author's so that makes the story more personal and interesting.

Any additional comments?

At some point in the book, when the author is going to work as a summer intern on the Conan O'Brien show, the phrase " ... the 9/1 TOURIST attack ..." Not terrorist but tourist. Since I only have the audio version of the book, I can't tell if the book has the typo or the narrator misspoke. Either way, a pretty awful typo.

Eye Opening

This book is such an eye opening experience for me. I can’t count all the ways it has made me pause and reevaluate a thought or question I’ve had about my own life and journey to accept myself and my sexuality. For those on this journey, this book will give you a voice you didn’t know you needed. It will also make you question a few things you didn’t know you wanted answers to. It’s an amazing eye opening for those having a dilemma about their sexuality and may need help find a light at the end of a tunnel.

compelling

wow....heart wrenching story of the trials Kate faced....real insight into the mind of a 19 year old student athlete.....thanks for letting us in Kate.

Excellent story!

Beautiful, moving, impactful story! Kate’s story is relevant to anyone, no matter gender, sexual orientation, race. It’s just a really intriguing story. It’s about challenges and obstacles in life, friendships in allies, accepting oneself and overcoming those obstacles. Sad hopeful moving heartfelt.

Sobering and yet fullfilling

This book was a very very good story. Ao true to the times. A truly realist tale of coming out and the internal war that comes with it. The Author did an amazing job in telling this tale from a first person perspective. And the narrator did a fantastic performance.

For some, this book may draw a lot of angst. But it laid bare the thoughts, emotions and sheer rawness of how hard it can be to come out and more importantly, how difficult finding acceptance within yourself is.

I would HIGHLY recommend this book to everyone, including friends, parents and relatives that have someone in their life that is going through this.

Enlightening!

A thoughtful story was engaging and painful at the same time. A story needed told.

Compelling Truth

This was a book I was meant to find. I had just recently been at a women in sports speaking engagement that featured Kate Fagan as the moderator. I so thoroughly enjoyed her that after the event I did the now thing, which was to Google her and found this book she had written.
I immediately ordered it because I was eager to hear her story. I'm so glad I did because I could so relate to her process (minus the born again Christian piece) but every other part hit home.
This is a great book not just for someone who is gay, but for anyone who wants a better understanding of the coming out process and the obstacles and challenges one faces in the coming out process. One of the most interesting pieces was that, if I hadn't known better I would have thought it was from back in the 80's or 90's, not as recent as it was. It just goes to show there is still a lot of education and stories like this that need to be told so those who are gay or knows a gay person they would like to support, that they are not alone and this can be the support they may need to navigate the process.
Such great, authentic sharing and I'm glad to have shared in her story.