The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control

A Path to Peace and Power

By: Katherine Morgan Schafler

Narrated by: Katherine Morgan Schafler

Selected for USA Today's Best Books of 2023

Selected as Editor's Pick in Amazon's Best Books of 2023

From psychotherapist Katherine Morgan Schafler, an invitation to every “recovering perfectionist” to challenge the way they look at perfectionism, and the way they look at themselves.

We’ve been looking at perfectionism all wrong. As psychotherapist and former on-site therapist at Google Katherine Morgan Schafler argues in The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control, you don’t have to stop being a perfectionist to be healthy. For women who are sick of being given the generic advice to “find balance,” a new approach has arrived.

Which of the five types of perfectionist are you? Classic, intense, Parisian, messy, or procrastinator? As you identify your unique perfectionist profile, you'll learn how to manage each form of perfectionism to work for you, not against you. Beyond managing it, you'll learn how to embrace and even enjoy your perfectionism. Yes, enjoy!

Full of stories and brimming with humor, empathy, and depth, this book is a love letter to the ambitious, high achieving, full-of-life clients who filled the author’s private practice, and who changed her life. It’s a clarion call for all women to dare to want more without feeling greedy or ungrateful. Ultimately, this book will show you how to make the single greatest trade you’ll ever make in your life, which is to exchange superficial control for real power.

©2023 Katherine Morgan Schafler (P)2023 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

“From an emerging thought leader, an irresistible invitation to reclaim your natural state of wholeness, your joy and your life."—Deepak Chopra, New York Times bestselling author of Abundance

"A valuable, much-needed perspective that gives you permission to be more in a world that's telling you to be less.”—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

"An accessible, actionable guide for how to aim high without overthinking or punishing yourself along the way. This book is a must-read for anxious achievers who want to remain ambitious but could operate with a bit more self-compassion."—Liz Fosslien, coauthor and illustrator of the bestselling books Big Feelings and No Hard Feelings

Loved it!

As a perfectionist I really like the approach of accepting your perfectionism and working around it so it’s beneficial for you. I always hear comments about how you shouldn’t aim for perfection but those kind of comments don’t help because they feel like going against your essence. Katherine’s approach is amazing. Really enjoyed it!

Best book I’ve read in a decade

Bookmark after bookmark. A staple read for being a better human. Especially if you’re a perfectionist! 🎯

Fantastic book

This was a fabulous book that will benefit so many women. I love her light hearted and funny approach.

Important guide to understand motivation/behavior

I rarely comment on the books I listen to, but this book is so good that I wanted to share a few words about it. I love this book. The stories keep the listener interested, and everything is backed by research, and support for the content is mentioned throughout the book. This not about "the authors experience" as one other reviewer mentioned, rather there are stories of many peoples' experiences, then an explanation, and the research support or reference to other experts' work. The organization of content is superb. The author is an exceptional narrator; very easy to listen to. I found out that I am exactly as I have known for years; I am a messy perfectionist. The book has helped me find some self-compassion and find ways to use this knowledge to positively adapt behavior change. The only thing I wished for while listening was that much of the great content would help others who do not identify as a perfectionist and therefore might be turned off by the title. I hope there is another book in the works.

Fantastic

This book is Incredible. So many parts of it drove me to reflect and learn about myself and how I may be perceived by others, intentionally or otherwise.

Exactly what I needed.

I’ve been a perfectionist my whole life and this is the first book that I felt really understood me and gave me permission to not have to change who I am. A must read.

Best book ever

First, this book is for anyone with perfectionist tendencies, not just women. I’m a guy and I’m on my 4th listen to this book. I’ve read a LOT of self help type books and this , for me, finally identified my issues. Im a perfectionist. Which involves a lot of other things of course.

This is far and away the most helpful book I’ve EVER listened to from any genre. The author is brilliant and has the most wonderful , soothing, professional, kind voice. Seriously. I can’t believe the revelation in my life. Thank God for Katherine.

Truly remarkable

Words won’t be able to encapsulate how I feel about this book, but it’s the dictionary definition of a GAME. CHANGER. I have listened to over 60 titles and this is my first review. I’ve never felt so seen by an author and genuinely understood. It needs to be in the hands of anyone who considers themself to be ambitious or an over-achiever, even if you don’t necessarily jive with the term ‘perfectionist’ do yourself a favor and go out on a limb that could change/save your life. Thank you deeply to Katherine Morgan Shafler for this gift to the world.

AMAZING and LIFE CHANGING

I had so many AHA moments in this book.
Living your whole life NOT realizing you’re a perfectionist and then having this little nugget to help understand the power of perfectionism.
* chef’s kiss *
Also her voice is AMAZING and calming and now I wish she was my therapist.
Read this or listen.
You won’t regret it.

Book full of suprise

Include real situation sharing to make it more relatable. Exploring the core idea across all angels.