The Millicent Quibb School of Etiquette for Young Ladies of Mad Science
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The Millicent Quibb School of Etiquette for Young Ladies of Mad Science
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Narrated by:
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Kate McKinnon
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Emily Lynne
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By:
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Kate McKinnon
About this listen
From beloved Saturday Night Live alum Kate McKinnon comes a madcap new adventure about three sisters, a ravenous worm, and a mysterious mad scientist.
So, you want to be a young mad scientist. Congratulations! Admitting it is the first step. The second step is reading the (definitely true) tale of the Porch sisters…
Gertrude, Eugenia, and Dee-Dee Porch do not belong. They don’t belong in the snooty town of Antiquarium, where all girls have to go to etiquette school and the only dog allowed is the bichon frise. They don’t belong with their adoptive family, where all their cousins are named Lavinia and their Aunt has more brooches than books. And they certainly don’t belong at Mrs. Wintermacher’s etiquette school—they’re far more interested in science. After getting kicked out of the last etiquette school that would take them, the girls expect to be sent away for good... until they receive a mysterious invitation to new school.
Suddenly the girls are under the tutelage of the infamous Millicent Quibb—a mad scientist with worms in her hair and oysters in her bathtub. At 231 Mysterium Way, the pizza is fatal, the bus is powered by Gerbils, and the Dean of Students is a hermit crab. Dangerous? Yes! More fun than they’ve ever had? Absolutely! But when the sisters are asked to save their town from an evil cabal of nefarious mad scientists, they must learn to embrace what has always made them stand out, and determine what side they’re on—before it’s too late!
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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By: J.K. Rowling
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The Ickabog
- By: J.K. Rowling
- Narrated by: Stephen Fry
- Length: 7 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,347
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 4,761
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,750
The kingdom of Cornucopia was once the happiest in the world. It had plenty of gold, a king with the finest moustache you could possibly imagine, and butchers, bakers, and cheesemongers whose exquisite foods made a person dance with delight when they ate them. Everything was perfect - except for the misty Marshlands to the north, which, according to legend, were home to the monstrous Ickabog. Anyone sensible knew that the Ickabog was just a myth to scare children into behaving. But the funny thing about myths is that sometimes they take on a life of their own.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Oh, dear...
- By ili pika on 11-11-20
By: J.K. Rowling
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The Secret Garden
- By: Frances Hodgson Burnett
- Narrated by: Carrie Hope Fletcher
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 8,093
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 7,294
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Story5 out of 5 stars 7,258
Mary Lennox starts her life as an unhappy victim of circumstance. After the loss of her parents, she moves to rural Yorkshire to live with a distant uncle where she resents the wildness of the countryside. At first, she struggles to find a place in this new existence. Although unsure about her surroundings and its occupants, through the gentle guidance of the maid she gradually becomes interested in the story of Mrs Craven, who apparently used to spend her time in a garden at the house, the key to which has vanished.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fabulous
- By Lady Lightning on 05-19-20
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Disney Frozen: Olaf's Quest
- By: Disney Press, Suzanne Francis
- Narrated by: Jake Green, Matt Lowe, Abby Trott, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 22 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 331
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 315
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 315
Olaf, Arendelle’s adorable snowman, loves to read. One day, an unexpected message leads Olaf and his friends Anna, Kristoff, and Sven on a quest for a place known as Haus Biblio, described as a “sea of stories”. This Audible Original spans the group’s journey to Haus Biblio as they cross over mountains, search for monsters under bridges, and have conversations with friendly sheep. During his travels, Olaf makes new friends and hears lots of exciting stories along the way.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wonderfully told
- By R and L on 09-22-24
By: Disney Press, and others
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The Complete Wizard of Oz Collection
- All 22 Stories
- By: L. Frank Baum
- Narrated by: Eric Vincent
- Length: 90 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 545
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 466
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 471
This is the complete Wizard of Oz collection of 22 stories written by L. Frank Baum. This is the only complete collection that includes all the Oz stories. All 22 stories are fully complete. They include the dedication and the introduction of each story/book. In this collection, you will find stories not available in other collections. It even includes stories published after the death of L. Frank Baum.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Audio chapter list below as was missing
- By MM on 04-09-14
By: L. Frank Baum
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Disney Mickey & Friends: Escape from Noskape
- By: Disney Press, Nick Murphy, Paul Ritchey
- Narrated by: Tony Anselmo, Bill Farmer, Bret Iwan, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 26 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 21
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 19
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 19
Mickey, Minnie, Donald, and Goofy are excited to attend the event of the year! Dr. Emu Noskape has invited all of Mouseton to witness the unveiling of her newest terrifically technical invention. But when the day takes an unexpected turn, Mickey and friends find themselves trapped inside Dr. Noskape’s mansion—which she’s launching to the moon! Will they escape the maze of a mansion before it blasts off, or are they doomed to live on the moon forever?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Immersive Storytelling - Great Sound Design
- By BadgerBooks on 01-10-25
By: Disney Press, and others
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Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More like this please
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4 out of 5 stars
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Heart-breaking
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Impossible Creatures
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The day that Christopher saved a drowning baby griffin from a hidden lake would change his life forever. It’s the day he learned about the Archipelago—a cluster of unmapped islands where magical creatures of every kind have thrived for thousands of years, until now. And it’s the day he met Mal—a girl on the run, in desperate need of his help. Mal and Christopher embark on a wild adventure, racing from island to island, searching for someone who can explain why the magic is fading and why magical creatures are suddenly dying.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Magical Mystery Tour
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The Long Way Around
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During a hiking trip with their parents in the mountains of California, cousins Owen, Vivian, and Amy are finally allowed to camp for one night at a little lake all on their own. But when a massive earthquake blocks their return path, there’s only one way home: the long way around, through a wilderness filled with fierce animals, raging rivers, unstable weather, and high passes. However, the hardest challenges the cousins face are the troubles they’ve brought with them.
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Hamlet's Children
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
When grave misfortune leaves thirteen-year-old Terry Sayre without relatives to care for him in the summer of 1939, his only option to elude foster care is to accept asylum abroad with his mother's Danish kin, people he met only briefly as a child. Terry begins life anew in his grandparents' home, but within months of his arrival, the Second World War breaks out.
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Summer and her family always spend relaxed summers in Alberta, Canada, on the reservation where her mom’s family lives. But this year is turning out to be an eye-opening one. First, Summer has begun to have vivid dreams in which she's running away from one of the many real-life residential schools that tore Native children from their families and tried to erase their Native identities. Not long after that, she learns that unmarked children’s graves have been discovered at the school her grandpa attended as a child.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Finally a book a Native kid/adult can relate too
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By: Violet Duncan
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Heads Will Roll
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 17,484
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 15,930
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Story4 out of 5 stars 15,864
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5 out of 5 stars
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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The Tenth Mistake of Hank Hooperman
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- Narrated by: Javier Prusky
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When eleven-year-old Hank’s mom doesn’t come home, he takes care of his toddler sister, Boo, like he always does. But it’s been a week now. They are out of food and mom has never stayed away this long… Hank knows he needs help, so he and Boo seek out the stranger listed as their emergency contact. But asking for help has consequences. It means social workers, and a new school, and having to answer questions about his mom that he's been trying to keep secret. And if they can't find his mom soon, Hank and Boo may end up in different foster homes—he could lose everything.
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4 out of 5 stars
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The day that Christopher saved a drowning baby griffin from a hidden lake would change his life forever. It’s the day he learned about the Archipelago—a cluster of unmapped islands where magical creatures of every kind have thrived for thousands of years, until now. And it’s the day he met Mal—a girl on the run, in desperate need of his help. Mal and Christopher embark on a wild adventure, racing from island to island, searching for someone who can explain why the magic is fading and why magical creatures are suddenly dying.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Magical Mystery Tour
- By Amy Talent on 09-20-24
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The Long Way Around
- By: Anne Nesbet
- Narrated by: Laura Knight Keating
- Length: 5 hrs and 36 mins
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1
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During a hiking trip with their parents in the mountains of California, cousins Owen, Vivian, and Amy are finally allowed to camp for one night at a little lake all on their own. But when a massive earthquake blocks their return path, there’s only one way home: the long way around, through a wilderness filled with fierce animals, raging rivers, unstable weather, and high passes. However, the hardest challenges the cousins face are the troubles they’ve brought with them.
By: Anne Nesbet
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When grave misfortune leaves thirteen-year-old Terry Sayre without relatives to care for him in the summer of 1939, his only option to elude foster care is to accept asylum abroad with his mother's Danish kin, people he met only briefly as a child. Terry begins life anew in his grandparents' home, but within months of his arrival, the Second World War breaks out.
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Summer and her family always spend relaxed summers in Alberta, Canada, on the reservation where her mom’s family lives. But this year is turning out to be an eye-opening one. First, Summer has begun to have vivid dreams in which she's running away from one of the many real-life residential schools that tore Native children from their families and tried to erase their Native identities. Not long after that, she learns that unmarked children’s graves have been discovered at the school her grandpa attended as a child.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The First State of Being
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- Narrated by: Ramon de Ocampo
- Length: 5 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 12
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It's August 1999. For twelve-year-old Michael Rosario, life at Fox Run Apartments in Red Knot, Delaware, is as ordinary as ever—except for the looming Y2K crisis and his overwhelming crush on his sixteen-year-old babysitter, Gibby. But when a disoriented teenage boy named Ridge appears out of nowhere, Michael discovers there is more to life than stockpiling supplies and pining over Gibby.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great, diverse, very different plot!
- By pamela miller on 04-16-24
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Puzzleheart
- By: Jenn Reese
- Narrated by: Avi Roque
- Length: 6 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Twelve-year-old Perigee has never met a problem they couldn’t solve. So when their dad’s spirits need raising, Perigee formulates The Plan: a road trip to Dad’s childhood home to reunite him with his estranged mother. There’s something in it for Perigee, too, as they will finally get to visit “Eklunds’ Puzzle House,” the mysterious bed-and-breakfast their grandparents built but never opened.
By: Jenn Reese
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The Swifts: A Gallery of Rogues
- By: Beth Lincoln
- Narrated by: Ayesha Antoine
- Length: 10 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 19
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 18
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 18
Now that the family reunion is over and the murderer has been caught, Shenanigan Swift can return to important projects, like searching for the long-lost family treasure. But trouble always finds Shenanigan, and when a valuable painting is stolen from Swift House by a group of eccentric art thieves known as Ouvolpo, she is determined to get it back—even if it means chasing them all the way to Paris. A new adventure is about to begin, and Shenanigan’s sleuthing skills will soon be tested like never before.
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5 out of 5 stars
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ENCORE! ENCORE!!
- By The Book Fairy on 08-29-24
By: Beth Lincoln
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Stella & Marigold
- By: Annie Barrows, Sophie Blackall - illustrator
- Narrated by: Merissa Czyz
- Length: 1 hr and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
There is the whole world, and in it, there's a city, and in that city, there's a house, and in that house, there are two half-houses, and in one of those half-houses, there lives a pair of sisters named Stella and Marigold. Stella, who's seven, likes cats and axolotls and second grade. But most of all, she likes Marigold. Marigold, who's four, likes gibbons and red paint and the plumber. But most of all, she likes Stella.
By: Annie Barrows, and others
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The Bletchley Riddle
- By: Ruta Sepetys, Steve Sheinkin
- Narrated by: Louis Hill, Georgina Jane, Ruta Sepetys, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 38
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 32
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 32
Summer, 1940. Nineteen-year-old Jakob Novis and his quirky younger sister Lizzie share a love of riddles and puzzles. And now they’re living inside of one. The quarrelsome siblings find themselves amidst one of the greatest secrets of World War II—Britain’s eccentric codebreaking factory at Bletchley Park. As Jakob joins Bletchley’s top minds to crack the Nazi's Enigma cipher, fourteen-year-old Lizzie embarks on a mission to solve the mysterious disappearance of their mother.
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5 out of 5 stars
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What a delightful story
- By sharon on 01-07-25
By: Ruta Sepetys, and others
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When We Flew Away
- A Novel of Anne Frank Before the Diary
- By: Alice Hoffman
- Narrated by: Mara Wilson
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 26
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 25
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Story5 out of 5 stars 25
Anne Frank's The Diary of a Young Girl has captivated and inspired people for decades. Published posthumously by her bereaved father, Anne's journal, written while she and her family were in hiding during World War II, has become one of the central texts of the Jewish experience during the Holocaust, as well as a work of literary genius. Bestselling author Alice Hoffman delivers a stunning novel about one of contemporary history's most acclaimed figures, exploring the little-known details of Anne Frank's life before she went into hiding.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More Timely Than Ever
- By Lisbeth on 11-09-24
By: Alice Hoffman
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The Swifts: A Dictionary of Scoundrels
- By: Beth Lincoln
- Narrated by: Nikki Patel
- Length: 9 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 58
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 50
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 50
On the day they are born, every Swift child is brought before the sacred Family Dictionary. They are given a name, and a definition. A definition it is assumed they will grow up to match. Meet Shenanigan Swift: Little sister. Risk-taker. Mischief-maker. Shenanigan is getting ready for the big Swift Family Reunion and plotting her next great scheme: hunting for Grand-Uncle Vile’s long-lost treasure. She’s excited to finally meet her arriving relatives—until one of them gives Arch-Aunt Schadenfreude a deadly shove down the stairs.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Clever and quirky- lots of good representation!
- By Rebekah on 05-24-23
By: Beth Lincoln
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Wicked Marigold
- By: Caroline Carlson
- Narrated by: Katherine Anderson
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Princess Marigold—who hadn't yet been born when the remarkable Princess Rosalind was kidnapped—is eleven when the unthinkable happens: her older sister escapes her captivity and comes home. Marigold has always known she's not as good, sweet, or kind as the sister everyone adores, but amid the celebration of Rosalind's return, Marigold realizes something new: if Princess Rosalind is good, then Princess Marigold must be wicked. And there's no place for wickedness in the kingdom. When Marigold tries to find a new place for herself in an evil wizard's fortress, though, the results are disastrous.
By: Caroline Carlson
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Tale of the Flying Forest
- By: R. M. Romero
- Narrated by: Gail Shalan
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
After her mother passes away and her father retreats into his grief, 11-year-old Anne Applebaum is afraid the only happy endings she’ll ever have are in The World to Come, a collection of fairy tales about the flying forest of Bei Ilai. In its pages, children outsmart demons, girls train as knights, and songs come to life. But even these stories can’t stop Anne from feeling alone. So when a raven tells her that she has a long-lost twin brother named Rainer, she sets out to find him. Anne soon learns that Bei Ilai is a real place—and she must step through the door into this magical realm.
By: R. M. Romero
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The Leadership Journey
- By: Doris Kearns Goodwin
- Narrated by: Dion Graham, Rufus Jones, Christian McKay, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 11
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 11
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Story5 out of 5 stars 11
From #1 New York Times bestselling author, Pulitzer Prize winner, and leading historian Doris Kearns Goodwin comes a definitive middle grade guide to Presidents Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Lyndon B. Johnson and how they became leaders. So how did each of them do it—rise to become President of the United States? What did these four kids have individually—and have in common—that made them the ones to lead the country through some of its most turbulent times?
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5 out of 5 stars
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I love History
- By Elizabeth A. Lane on 11-12-24
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The Door of No Return
- By: Kwame Alexander
- Narrated by: Kobna Holdbrook-Smith
- Length: 3 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 61
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 55
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 55
In his village in Upper Kwanta, 11-year-old Kofi loves his family, playing oware with his grandfather and swimming in the river Offin. He’s warned though, to never go to the river at night. His brother tells him ”There are things about the water you do not know. “ Like what? Kofi asks. “The beasts.” His brother answers.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Beautiful and heartbreaking
- By Anonymous User on 03-03-24
By: Kwame Alexander
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Mirror to Mirror
- By: Rajani LaRocca
- Narrated by: Rasha Zamamiri, Reena Dutt
- Length: 4 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1
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Story5 out of 5 stars 1
Maya is the pragmatic twin, but her secret anxiety threatens to overwhelm her. Chaya is the outgoing twin. When she sees her beloved sister suffering, she wants to tell their parents—which makes Maya feel completely betrayed.
By: Rajani LaRocca
What listeners say about The Millicent Quibb School of Etiquette for Young Ladies of Mad Science
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Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 12-19-24
The performance was excellent!!
Kate Mckinnon does a fantastic job narrating. She had me laughing and smiling through the whole thing. I will definitely be listening to this book again.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- LV
- 11-07-24
Engaging
I am a fan of pretty much anything Kate McKinnon creates, so out of amusement I gave it a listen. it was actually quite funny amd easy to follow.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Pixelslinger
- 01-25-25
Laugh out loud brilliance!
This audio book was the highlight of my entire year. Kate McKinnon is a genius and a treasure.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Adam C.
- 12-08-24
Wonderful, I snort laughed
This was so much fun
Kate McKinnon’s performance is incredible. You have to listen to the audiobook.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Bhflynn84
- 12-25-24
Absolutely Wonderful!
This was such a fun book to read along together. My son is 10-years old and laughed so much with Kate McKinnon reading the story then trailing off on something random. The illustrations were great. 10 out of 10 must read. We are ready for book 2!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amy Still
- 01-26-25
Magnificently absurd!
My kids and I laughed out loud as we listened to certified genius, Kate McKinnon. Wonderful story, they immediately asked about Book 2 when it was over! This is going to make a resplendent movie one day!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Laura Seel
- 11-21-24
Sequel please!
The audiobook performances are spectacular. Surely this will be a movie out next Halloween? Keep writing Kate. We need your stories.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- LaurenJ
- 12-08-24
Love this book!!
Fun, smart, hilarious fantasy. Kate McKinnon is a genius, writing and performing. Listen all the way through the acknowledgments. It is worth it!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Tsveta Petrova
- 01-05-25
My family’s favorite book
All my kids and I got very into it it promoted creatives laughter and fun and jokes
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- LinseyLoo
- 10-10-24
Delightful
I loved this every ounce as much as I expected to. Pure perfection! I was blessed to be able to attend an author event with Kate McKinnon for this book this past Friday, and it made reading it even more magical. I went with the audio book not only because it was highly recommended (as well it should be — it’s FANTASTIC) but because I didn’t want to sully my autographed copy. Y’all this wacky, brilliant, deep, and darn well-written book is a delight, and Kate is an author through and through. Thank you, Kate, for your inspiring words!!
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