The Merchant Adventurer

By: Patrick E. McLean

Narrated by: Patrick E. McLean

An ordinary, money-grubbing Merchant struggling to make a coin off penniless, incompetent adventurers is forced to take on the impossible quest of saving his town and rescuing the woman he loves from a treacherous and powerful Wizard. A battle of wit, wits and haggling that is part homage to, part skewer of the richly worked and often overwrought fantasy genre.

An artful, satire of dungeon crawls and cRPG's, the Merchant Adventurer is part Princess Bride, part Dungeon Pawn Stars and a rollicking good read.

©2014 Patrick E. McLean (P)2014 Patrick E. McLean

Pure enjoyment

It's always wonderful when you get a sense that the writer really enjoyed the story they tell. A fantastic listening experience happens when the performer enjoys the story just as much. I've been sometimes disappointed when authors perform their own work, but in this case it's IMPOSSIBLE to imagine anyone else doing justice to this slanted tale of wizard and magic and adventurers and the occasional damned damsel in distress. I'm hooked.

Classic McLean

Excellent preformance, great characters, interesting concept. Ending drags on a bit, but otherwise it's aces.

Reminiscent of D&D fun

This book is part epic adventure fantasy and part tongue in cheek pointed humor at the often overdone fantasy tropes. Our main hero, Boltac the Merchant, is, indeed, a very reluctant hero. However, eventually, against his better nature, he is forced to join the adventure, outwit the bad guy, rescue his lady love, and bring prosperity to his home town. Or something along those lines. Really, Boltac is just focused on one thing: not letting his lady love know he actually has a soft spot for her.

One day a would be hero, Relan, strolls in to a shop wanting to purchase a sword so he can gallivant off to rescue his lady love. However, he doesn’t have the coin for it. So he asks to lease out a sword. Boltac rolls his eyes and eventually clouts Relan over the head and drags his unconscious body outside. But then the minions of an evil wizard (Dimsbury) and his side kick (Raddick). The owner of the local tavern, and secret sweetheart of Boltac, is stolen away. Now Boltac must make some tough choices.

The humor permeates this novel and is often of the skeptical variety. Boltac questions nearly everything, even if it is just in his head. He’s always weighing the choices, adding the coins, calculating what’s in his best interest. Relan is great sidekick for him, being so idealistic, so naive, so honorable. Boltac is constantly having to rein the young man in, and not always teaching him the ways of adventuring. The back and forth between these two is most amusing!

There are a few ladies in this book. I can think of two off the top of my head. There might have been a third. One is a supposed damsel in distress that is working with a group of folks running scams. The second is Boltac’s secret love, the tavern owner. She’s smart in her own right, taking charge of her actions and formulating a plan to escape from the first moment. However, we spend little time with her. The author shows he can write female characters, and yet he had so few in this book and gave them small, tiny roles. I hope his other books make better use of the female gender, as I fully intend to seek out more of his work.

Then we have the bad guys. They come in two flavors: ruthless and deserving of death and then we have the orc servants (like Samga the orc leader) who would probably have fairly quiet lives if left to their own devices. Raddick is vicious and enjoys killing for the sport. Dimsbury is the brains behind the evil duo and is quite ruthless in his own way. These potent villains make great adversaries for the shrewd Boltac and the idiotically heroic Relan.

All in all, I really enjoyed this book. It strongly reminded me of the days when my man played Dungeons & Dragons weekly and he come home in the early dawn hours, smelling of stale pizza, one too many energy drinks, and cigarette smoke, babbling about his exploits in a some dungeon or medieval forest. This book was like that, but far better since it was a coherent story and not just disconnected ramblings by a man who was obviously dead tired but too wired on caffeine to sleep.

Narration: Patrick McLean narrated his own book, and I always have a few worries when I see an author narrating his own work. But have no fears here! McLean does an awesome job of narrating this book. He has a perfectly shrewd and skeptical voice for Boltac, a wonderfully dense and optimistic voice for Relan, and a serpent’s treacherous sneer for Raddick. I also enjoyed his ‘I’m way too smart to deign to chat with you’ voice for Dimsbury. And don’t forget his toothy voice for the orc Samga. It was a most excellent performance.

Snarky, witty, and well written

I enjoyed the reluctant stereotypes of the characters. Who doesn't like a reluctantly evil Mage? Nice, short read. Each character was fleshed out nicely, and Patrick does a great job with the performance.

If the NPC saved the world....

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

I would definitely recommend this to a friend. The book has the perfect balance of parody of your typical "high fantasy" novel, video games and tabletop games and having a great well written story. And Patrick Mclean's humor and performance really nails it down.

What was one of the most memorable moments of The Merchant Adventurer?

There are some great moments later in the book but are spoilerish. The whole interaction between Relan and Boltac in the beginning of the story is highly entertaining. A stalwart youth trying to rescue his love versus a jaded master salesman.

What about Patrick E. McLean’s performance did you like?

He does really well with making unique character voices and making them fit with the character themselves.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

[Spoilerish]


The moment towards the end of the book where Boltac has to make a decision to flee or to rescue his love. The way that it is written you can feel the struggle Boltac goes through.

[/Spoilerish]

Great story

Would you consider the audio edition of The Merchant Adventurer to be better than the print version?

I haven't read the print version but given how good the audio edition is, I cannot image being able to read the intonation of the dialog so as to get the full effect of Boltac's character.

Who was your favorite character and why?

Boltac, of course. He is hilarious.

What about Patrick E. McLean’s performance did you like?

All of it. The voices used for the different characters were really good.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

Yes, I was very sad when it ended. I wanted the adventure(s) to continue.

Any additional comments?

Excellent book. Nice light quick read but has substance as well.

Rollicking good fun with a sliver of dark slicing

What about Patrick E. McLean’s performance did you like?

The voices! The voices!

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

I laughed, chuckled, giggled, snorted my way through this book.

Any additional comments?

With books I choose, I browse through the reviews before purchase. I’ve noticed that with the few that require a review for a free copy, I don’t bother. I think it’s because I don’t want to be influenced and I want my review to be as honest as I can make it. That’s what I would want if I ever let anyone read my stuff. It is only fair that is what I give to other authors.

I barely looked at anything but the premise of the book and when opening this audible version I noticed the same name in author and narrator. I’ve never had that experience before. At least not that I remember. This was going to be interesting.

When I first heard Mr. McLean’s voice, I got excited over just that. His is the kind of voice I specifically look for when I want something for winding down after a long day. I save female narrators for puttering around the house, keeping me awake.

I thought, regardless if the story is good, at least I’ll sleep tonight.

Then, before the first chapter was over, I found that I was sitting on the front porch, enjoying the moments just after sunset, not only giggling like a freakin’ schoolgirl, but laughing so loudly, I startled a few cats across the street. Maybe I wasn’t going to get sleep after all. (But I did, finally, and had to freakin’ rewind…)

By the time the kiddos got home from school (still not done with the book – phone calls and life kept getting in the way), I’d already decided that my middle kid, the boy who only reads when he has to, has to listen to this book.

To say this is an enjoyable listen is a disservice. I’d much rather say something along the lines of “OMFG! You have to listen to this guy!” But I detest sounding like a teenage fangirl.

Personally, I think Mr. McLean did an amazing job not only putting the words to paper, but reading those words aloud. The character voices were spot on and so crazily different, I wondered a few times if the man had help. It reminded me of reading to my kids when they were little and them begging my husband, “Do the voices! Do the voices!”

The Merchant Adventurer makes fun of the epic fantasy. All the characters are there: the evil wizard, the hero, the merchant, the damsel, the thief. The story arch is pretty much in line with the formula fantasy. But despite this, it is not your everyday fantasy quest. It has more spice, more sarcasm, more wine than cheese, and more entertainment than the serious business of saving the world.

How I got my kid to listen (besides my own excitement)? Dude, it’s like someone smushed together The Princess Bride and Galavant without the music. He says, Really? Eyes wide and sparkly. Is it downloaded yet? He put aside his games and internet perusing and sat down and listened. He had to pause at the goatherd incident, share it with me, and laugh some more. (I’m probably a terrible mother. He’s 13.)

Since I’ve renewed the vigor in my love of reading the past few years, I’ve found there are few books published today that I would revisit. Truly, my ultimate favs were written before I was born. However, this one, I know I will revisit. When the details fade, the scenes become jumbled in my head, I will have to go back. To the fun.

Well executed story of a unwilling hero

I liked the story it was a easy listen though there were two audio mistakes of reading the same three words twice, I think I would love to here more stories of this band and world.

Great story, great storyteller

This is wonderful and fun adventure tale told by the author, who is an amazing narrator. Highly recommended.

great story

nice to focus on the little things in a fantasy universe. also a good intro into DnD. I appreciate the author's writing style, relaxed and with feeling.