The Last of What I Am

By: Abigail Cutter

Narrated by: Seth Podowitz

A ghost in his deserted childhood home in Virginia, Tom Smiley can’t forget the bloody war and its meaningless losses, nor can he shed his revulsion for his role in the Confederate defense of slavery.

But when a young couple moves in and makes his home their own in the early twenty-first century, trouble erupts—and Tom is forced to not only face his own terrible secret but also come to grips with his family’s hidden wartime history.

He finds an unexpected ally in the house’s new owner, Phoebe Hunter, whose discoveries have momentous consequences for them both.

©2023 Abigail Cutter (P)2023 Dreamscape Media

Critic reviews

"A richly imagined tragedy of a Rebel soldier whose regret for ill-chosen allegiance haunts him from the moment of enlistment through the horrors of a Union prison. It follows him into the afterlife, where he lingers in his ancestral home, unable to shed his shame for fighting for the cause of slavery. Masterful historical research and detail of the nineteenth century invest this story with a reader’s pleasure in a felt life. (John Rolfe Gardiner, author of Newport Rising and O. Henry Prize winner)

“A searing, brilliant, moving, and utterly original Civil War novel, told by the guilt-ravaged Virginia infantryman Tom Smiley whose own war never ended—at least not until a young couple move into his now-historic childhood home and start renovating . . . . A stirring meditation on guilt and redemption.” (Lee Smith, New York Times best-selling author of The Last Girls)

“What really haunts us—our own mistakes, or the weight of history? Based closely on the true story of her own uncanny encounters in an inherited antebellum Virginia farmhouse and old letters she found there, Abbie Cutter has crafted a novel that plumbs the painful history of a common soldier in the Civil War and the burdens he cannot set down. A riveting read, rich in historic detail and moral complexity.” (Geraldine Brooks, New York Times bestselling author and Pulitzer Prize winner of Horse and March)

Lots of Civil War History, Not Much Of a Ghost Story

There were several things I really enjoyed about this book. It’s well written. The author writes vivid and interesting descriptions as this tale of the Civil War unfolds. The narrator does a very good job. His style of narration is a little understated (as opposed to dramatic) in my opinion.

This book was described as a ghost story, and that is the main reason I purchased it. It seemed like the perfect story for a slightly spooky read at Halloween time. The ghost story aspect of the story really seemed almost like an afterthought, though. I kept waiting for that part of the plot to fill out, for more heartfelt interactions between Tom and Phoebe. I think this book could’ve stood alone as a well written and interesting novel about the Civil War without the ghost aspect. And I wouldn’t have felt as frustrated as I did waiting for the “ghost story” to develop as I read it.

Sidenote: the author really does provide a great amount of detail regarding battles and other Civil War history. I found the details very interesting, but for me personally, I’m better off reading books like this in print and not listening to them. If I had known it was going to be this type of book, and not a ghost story, I probably would have read it in print.

A Civil War story

I was not expecting this to be all about the Civil War. This is Tom Smiley's story, we get very little of Phoebe's story. That is fine, if that's what you are interested in. The author tells Tom's story well. I was interested in more of a ghost story. The narrator did a great job. Zach

Captured

My mind & imagination were immediately made captive to this compelling story. I couldn’t put this book down and felt sadness that the book ended. Seth Podowitz is a gifted narrator and complimented this book with depth & texture. I’ve ordered hard copies for friends who are not using Audible. A must read

Pretty bleak

A lot of navel gazing and not as marketed / I made it through but it was a slog

needed more depth

The idea behind the story was very intriguing, but I felt like it wasn't well executed.