The Hotel Avocado
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The Hotel Avocado
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Narrated by:
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Bob Mortimer
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Sally Phillips
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Paul Whitehouse
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Julie Maisey
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By:
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Bob Mortimer
About this listen
CHOSEN BY WATERSTONES AS ONE OF THEIR BEST CRIME & THRILLER BOOKS OF 2024
'As a comedian, Bob Mortimer spins a shaggy-dog story like nobody else, and this is a rollicking old-school yarn' The Guardian
‘Mortimer’s verbal specificity and off-kilter humour will keep his fans chuckling’ The Times
WARNING - this book includes: heavy crimes, car journeys, dreadfulness, large fruits, romance, planning applications, and a lot of pie.
Gary Thorn is struggling with a big decision. Should he stay in London, wallowing in the safety of his legal job in Peckham and eating pies with his next door neighbour, Grace and her dog Lassoo, or should he move to Brighton, where his girlfriend Emily is about to open The Hotel Avocado? Either way, he’d be letting someone down.
But sinister forces are gathering in a cloud of launderette scented-vape smoke, and the arrival of the mysterious Mr Sequence puts Gary in an even worse predicament: soon he might be dead.
All Gary wants is a happy life. But he also wants to be alive to enjoy it…
THE HILARIOUS AND GRIPPING NEW NOVEL BY NUMBER ONE BESTSELLING AUTHOR BOB MORTIMER
‘Sweet and funny’ Closer
‘A stunning sequel… It’s genuinely difficult to put this book down – you’ll be entranced by Mortimer’s humour and obvious story-telling skills’ Press Association
‘Characters are layered with carefully observed detail and a huge serving of hilarity’ Heat©2024 Bob Mortimer (P)2024 Simon & Schuster UK
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- Length: 1 hr and 16 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 299
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 284
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 284
Three friends from small-town Pennsylvania set out to conquer Denali, North America's highest peak, but only two come down alive. On the mountain, their grand adventure unravels into a harrowing tale of survival, betrayal, and the haunting consequences of ambition pushed too far. For fans of Into Thin Air, Touching the Void, and 127 Hours, Denali has a full cast, jaw-dropping twists, and immersive sound design that will transport you to one of the most extreme environments on earth.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Fun and thrilling
- By Anonymous User on 01-23-25
By: Austin Bunn
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Verity
- By: Colleen Hoover
- Narrated by: Vanessa Johansson, Amy Landon
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 127,639
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 112,717
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 112,584
Lowen Ashleigh is a struggling writer on the brink of financial ruin when she accepts the job offer of a lifetime. Jeremy Crawford, husband of best-selling author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to complete the remaining books in a successful series his injured wife is unable to finish. Lowen arrives at the Crawford home, ready to sort through years of Verity's notes and outlines, hoping to find enough material to get her started. What Lowen doesn't expect to uncover in the chaotic office is an unfinished autobiography Verity never intended for anyone to read.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
intriguing but skip if triggered by child abuse
- By Amazon Customer on 05-16-19
By: Colleen Hoover
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The Grandmother
- By: Jane E. James
- Narrated by: Anna Cordell, Max Dinnen
- Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,071
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,033
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 2,033
Two little girls stand with their heads bowed in my living room. I’m told they’re my granddaughters. Daisy is nine, and Alice seven. Daisy is the spitting image of her mother. This is the first time I’ve met them since my daughter and I fell out after she married that waste of space, Vince. They’ve come to live with me because their mother — my daughter — was murdered. In her own home while they slept close by. I think Vince killed her. But the police can’t prove it. I’ve always known he was no good. He treated my daughter like dirt. I said he’d cheat on her — but she wouldn’t listen.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
Not too outlandish
- By Jackie H on 12-14-24
By: Jane E. James
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George Orwell’s 1984
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- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 9,818
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 9,301
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 9,300
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
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10 Rules for the Perfect Murder
- By: James Patterson, Chris Tebbetts
- Narrated by: Reid Scott, Cobie Smulders, full cast
- Length: 3 hrs and 2 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,735
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,635
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,635
After the killing of a prominent mob lawyer, NYPD homicide detectives Jacob Jackson and Caitlin Grimes start receive chilling, written “rules” for how to commit the perfect murder. "Rule number one for the perfect murder: Evidence is your enemy. Leave none behind." Jackson (Reid Scott) and Grimes (Cobie Smulders) race to find the killer, setting them on a collision course with the city’s crime underbelly, and a perpetrator who seems happy to toy with them. “Rule number two. No crimes of passion. The perfect murder is always business, never pleasure.”
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Tricky
- By Robert Scott Read on 10-30-24
By: James Patterson, and others
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Say No More
- By: Caroline Overington
- Narrated by: Anna Skellern
- Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 874
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 858
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 858
Who is Audrey Hoedemaker? It's a question her sister Maureen has heard more times than she can count, and she doesn't know what the short answer would be. Little sister, troubled teen, backpacker, musical theatre coach, con artist, childcare worker. Murderer. A tragic, traumatic childhood casts a long shadow on the Hoedemaker sisters. Maureen has worked hard to move beyond the violence of the past and build a good, honest life for herself. Audrey, however, just can't seem to do the same, careening from one state of chaos to another.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Good read with a not so good ending.
- By Katie A Scribner on 12-26-24
-
7 Hours to Die
- By: James Patterson, Duane Swierczynski
- Narrated by: Sarah Paulson, Patina Miller, Mel Rodriguez, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 25 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,130
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,024
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,024
Kidnappers grabbed Jenna in broad daylight, right in front of her children and their horrified classmates. Her family was issued an insane ransom demand: $25 million in cash and jewels, payable by the end of the school day, otherwise they’ll never see her again. As Jenna’s mother scrambles to gather the money, detectives Mo Butler and George Ortega follow the trail of the kidnappers, which will lead them through a sordid landscape of jealous lovers, broken dreamers, and twisted schemers. But every second counts, and there’s one thing Jenna Wade doesn’t have: very much time.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
This was such a fun Quick listen
- By Mdc on 10-08-24
By: James Patterson, and others
-
Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 94,994
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 86,940
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 86,738
Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
-
The Mysterious Affair at Styles
- By: Agatha Christie, Anna Lea - adaptation
- Narrated by: Peter Dinklage, Himesh Patel, Harriet Walter, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,228
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 2,162
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,162
England, 1914. The world is at war. Captain Hastings, injured and shaken, is invited to Styles Court to recover. It’s a grand old country house - the family home of his old friend - and a perfect haven. Or so it seems. But in the blistering summer heat, trouble is afoot. Simmering tensions are tearing the family apart, and it all comes to a head in the most horrifying way.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
It’s a perfect audible movie!
- By Malissa Caudell on 11-15-24
By: Agatha Christie, and others
-
Fahrenheit 451
- By: Ray Bradbury
- Narrated by: Tim Robbins
- Length: 5 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 32,811
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 29,195
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 29,150
Guy Montag is a fireman. In his world, where television rules and literature is on the brink of extinction, firemen start fires rather than put them out. His job is to destroy the most illegal of commodities, the printed book, along with the houses in which they are hidden. Montag never questions the destruction and ruin his actions produce, returning each day to his bland life and wife, Mildred, who spends all day with her television "family."
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Wish I Hadn't Cliff Noted This in High School
- By Joel on 03-27-17
By: Ray Bradbury
-
The Woman in Coach D
- By: Sarah A. Denzil
- Narrated by: Katie Clarkson-Hill
- Length: 11 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,477
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,420
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 2,420
Jenny sits in the same seat on the same train every week, seeing familiar faces come and go. Until a chance encounter shatters her world. Sixteen years ago, Jenny survived a traumatic ordeal that left her best friend, Susie, missing and presumed dead. The world has its theories about what happened to Susie Patterson, and one of those theories points the finger at Jenny. Now she lives a quiet life, volunteering at a crisis helpline while trying to deal with her own anxiety and the true crime fans obsessed with finding her missing friend.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Too long
- By Anonymous User on 11-15-24
By: Sarah A. Denzil
-
The Ex
- By: Freida McFadden
- Narrated by: Nicol Zanzarella
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,412
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,233
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,225
Cassie thinks she has met the perfect man. Joel is sweet, handsome, romantic, and best of all, he’s crazy about Cassie. She thinks she’s found the guy she’ll spend the rest of her life with. Have children with. Grow old with. Yes, she knows about his perfect ex-girlfriend, Francesca. The beautiful, brilliant chef, beloved by all his friends. But she thinks Francesca is out of the picture. She thinks Francesca is gone for good. Think again, Cassie.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Too bizarre for someone who loves bizarre
- By G. C. Webster on 07-01-22
By: Freida McFadden
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Fantastic
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Campbell Flynn, art historian, professor, and fêted fixture of the literati, always knew that when his life came crashing down, it would happen in public—yet he never imagined that a single year in London would expose so much. He’s never taken other people half as seriously as they take themselves, which is the first of his mistakes. The second is a new project: opportunistic and precisely calibrated to rake in a fortune.
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The best audiobook I have ever listened to
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The gifted filmmaker, corduroy activist and amateur dentist, Richard Ayoade, first chanced upon a copy of The Two-Hander Trilogy by Harauld Hughes in a second-hand bookshop. At first startled by his uncanny resemblance to the author's photo, he opened the volume and was electrified. Terse, aggressive, and elliptical, what was true of Ayoade was also true of Hughes's writing, which encompassed stage, screen, and some of the shortest poems ever published.
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Controlled Whimsicality: The Genius of Richard Ayoade
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Anything Could Happen
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For Lara and her daughter Eliza, it has always been just the two of them. But when Eliza turns 18 and wants to connect with her father, Lara is forced to admit a secret that she has been keeping from her daughter her whole life. Eliza needs answers - and so does Lara. Their journey to the truth will take them on a road trip across England and eventually to New York, where it all began. Dreams might have been broken and opportunities missed... but there are still surprises in store.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Just great writing
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By: Lucy Diamond
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The Fallen
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It’s Christmas in Sheffield. But not everyone is enjoying the festive season. A man has been found brutally murdered in his own home. The victim is Iain Kilbride, a once-famous TV star who has faded into obscurity. All signs point to a break-in, but why has nothing been taken? For DCI Matilda Darke, this is the perfect chance to prove her newly formed Murder Investigation Team are up to the task. Matilda suspects the clue to finding the killer lies in Iain’s past, but she’s about to discover how dark that past really is....
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5 out of 5 stars
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Finally! A exceptional choice to a new detective series.
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The Habit Revolution
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Story5 out of 5 stars 4
It’s never too late to reprogram your habits. But how long does it really take and how can you make the changes stick? Leading habit researcher Dr Gina Cleo reveals revolutionary breakthroughs in behavioural science that will help you uncover how your brain works, and how to rewire it to make instant and lasting change in your life. Discover evidence-based techniques to break free from unwanted habits, master your motivation and navigate setbacks to achieve the lifestyle you’ve always wanted, no matter what stage of life you’re in.
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5 out of 5 stars
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lots of practical tips
- By Kindle Customer on 01-16-24
By: Dr Gina Cleo
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In the Hands of Men
- A Novel
- By: Gin Sexsmith
- Narrated by: Devery Jacobs
- Length: 12 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 13
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 12
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Story3 out of 5 stars 12
Haunted by the loss of her cousin, Delilah has curated a world of revenge—playing judge, jury and executioner while, you know, searching for love. Maybe murdering gives her the control she craves. Maybe it fills the gaping hole that Cedar left when she disappeared. Maybe this rage is ancestral, dating back to all of the Indigenous women before her whose cases were closed without much of a search.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Story within an essay
- By another know it all on 01-10-25
By: Gin Sexsmith
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David Mitchell: Back Story
- By: David Mitchell
- Narrated by: David Mitchell
- Length: 9 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,490
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,346
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,329
David Mitchell, who you may know for his inappropriate anger on every TV panel show except Never Mind the Buzzcocks, his look of permanent discomfort on C4 sex comedy Peep Show, his online commenter-baiting in The Observer or just for wearing a stick-on moustache in That Mitchell and Webb Look, has written a book about his life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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One of the Funniest, Clever Brits around
- By Delia on 08-30-13
By: David Mitchell
What listeners say about The Hotel Avocado
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Bing Ju
- 10-02-24
Best sequel ever
Really enjoyable experience, waiting for new books from Bob, either on Gary advantures or new characters!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Richard
- 09-28-24
New approach
The characters in this novel are easy to relate to. The approach of ordinary day to day life thrown into turmoil is quietly exciting
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jean Ogg
- 12-07-24
Even Better Than The First One!
Another highly enjoyable adventure for Bob Mortimer’s quirky but loveable characters. Excellent job having the parts read by different people, too. Hope this one wins another Wodehouse Bollinger Prize!
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Chelsea Monday
- 09-16-24
Mortimer's language is unusual and amazing
Just like the first book in the series, the great thing isn't necessarily the plot, but rather Bob Mortimer's wonderful language and odd phrases. I really liked that there were several narrators.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Lisa Wilberding
- 09-02-24
Out of Bob’s beautiful brain!
It was lovely - quick paced and a wonderful distraction from news and politics. It was such a delight to check in on Gary & Emily, Grace and Wayne. The sad bit is that now I shall have to wait, and hope, for a 3rd book!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 10-30-24
Loved the subtle humor
I loved the book from start to finish. Excellent narrators, unusual story, fast paced, surprising, topped by subtle sometimes black humor, that made me lough out loud. I definitely recommend.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 09-27-24
Fun Sequel
Fantastic audiobook! The audio quality is stunning. Bravo! Very enjoyable performances. This is a fun & amusing sequel with wonderful characters.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 09-03-24
Mortimer does it again!
this is simply a delightful story. Bob Mortimer is a wonderful storyteller and his characters just come alive. it's a good mystery and I enjoyed every listening minute.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Seif
- 12-31-24
Funny
Hilarious and typical Mortimer!! Was traveling by car on a 4 and a half hour drive. Didn’t want to reach my destination because of the book 😂
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 01-28-25
boring
boring.. totally put down able.
Can't understand hype around this material..I had no interest in any of the characters except for the dog ..
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