The Fat Man

A Tale of North Pole Noir

By: Ken Harmon

Narrated by: Johnny Heller

Fired from his longtime job as captain of the Coal Patrol, two-foot-three-inch, 1,300-year-old elf Gumdrop Coal is angry. He's one of Santa's original elves, inspired by the fat man's vision to bring joy to children on that one special day each year. But somewhere along the way, things went sour for Gumdrop. Maybe it was delivering one too many lumps of coal for the Naughty List. Maybe it's the conspiracy against Christmas that he's starting to sense down every chimney.

Either way, North Pole disillusionment is nothing new: Some elves brood with a bottle of nog, trying to forget their own wish list. Some get better. Some get bitter. Gumdrop Coal wants revenge. Justice is the only thing he knows, and so he decides to give a serious wakeup call to parents who can't keep their vile offspring from landing on the Naughty List. But when one parent winds up dead, his eye shot out with a Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model BB gun, Gumdrop Coal must learn who framed him and why. Along the way he'll escape the life-sucking plants of the Mistletoe Forest, battle the infamous Tannenbomb Giant, and survive a close encounter with 12 very angry drummers and their violent friends. The horrible truth lurking behind the gingerbread doors of Kringle Town could spell the end of Christmas - and of the fat man himself. Holly Jolly!

©2010 Ken Harmon (P)2010 Tantor

The Fatman is a Christmas treat!

A thoroughly delightful Christmas treat with just right ingredients! Do enjoy opening this creative gift!

Fantastic Holiday Listen

I've been an Audible subscriber for more than 9 years, but I've only felt compelled to write a review a handful of times. This is one of those times.

This book is "laugh-out-loud" funny. The narrator does a great job of pulling off the "noir" style. I loved meeting my favorite holiday characters in a brand new way. The overall message was positive and uplifting, without being sappy.

One of my new favorite holiday reads (up there with Hogfather by Terry Pratchett).

Love this book!

I typically don't like stories about Christmas that have a darker tone being a Christmas fanatic. This book had so many moments of Christmas nostalgia and meaning in it, that I found myself smiling, laughing and being sentimental. I wholeheartedly give this book my Christmas endorsement! How Ho Ho!

My New Favorite Christmas Tale

I bought this title yesterday evening; listened to it as soon as it finished the download. And it is now my favorite Christmas Listen ... to be enjoyed year after year. It has the best of the Noir style, with a tongue-in-cheek attitude, valiantly satirizing the genre and calling on many Christmas favorite tales along the way. Reminiscent of a quality B-movie, I listened to this book like I watch the B&W version of It's A Wonderful Life (and avoid the colorized version) -- enjoying it and anticipating the next line, sometimes even knowing what it would be but not caring that I already knew.

I can't tell you my favorite parts of the book as that would give away too much. However, if you like the noir style, then you will probably enjoy this book.

But, be aware, this is not really a family/children's story even if it is about elves and Santa and has characters with silly names like Charles Candy Cane or Tannenbomb.

The narrator does an excellent job, in my opinion.

Great lampooning of Christmas cliche's & specials

If you like noir, dark comedy, or the lampooning of hackneyed cultural associations with Christmas, this is a very unique and enjoyable Christmas time book. (Nothing in it makes fun of the religious components of Christmas, only the cliches, tv & music specials, and commercialized traditions.) Its got to be in or around the Christmas season and you have to be the person that can get into something narrated by an elf in a Sam Spade style. If so you will have a fun time with this one. I don't know anything else like it. Great parody if you like this style.

Smart, Fun, Edgy and Saucy (mostly)

This was an extremely fun, laugh-out-loud, cracker of a story. Brilliantly conceived and brilliantly executed. The actor/narrator’s performance was so perfectly shaped and constructed; Mr. Heller, an award-winning voice actor, brought these saucy and magnificent characters to full realization through his perfectly-suited Noir style.

Almost every line has some quirky reference or wink/nod based on classic Christmas stories, movies and animated TV specials and spins them in a unique, razor-witted, and extremely intelligent way. For most of this book, I found myself moving from grin, to laugh, to shock, to chortle, to chuckle, and back again.

The structure of the book does seem to spin out of control near the end, only to wrap up in a somewhat unnecessary and overtly-religious way. This bothered me until I realized the source from which the author drew his conclusion was also one of those animated classics which, by today’s “standards,” comes across as also quite overtly “religious.” Once I realized who this character was, it lessened my aversion to the seemingly forced message or moral that it presented. I don’t usually have an aversion to books that have a strong Moral, if that Moral emerges or develops naturally from the characters, or plot, or style of writing. Given the tone of 9/10ths of this book, however, the conclusion seemed entirely out of character from the rest of the book. It felt forced and manipulated, and did slightly spoil the overall experience of the otherwise brilliant world and language the author created.

The bottom line is: I have in fact, recommended this book to several people for the incredibly sharp and smartly funny turns of phrase and stylistic brilliance in the writing. Despite the structural problems and awkward way it comes to its conclusion, I still think this is a wonderful holiday tale.

Loved all the references

Enjoyed the unique story of Santa and elves. Narrator was perfect choice for this book. Lots of cultural references and some not so subtle references to classic Christmas stories.

Very good performance, story not so much

I found the story to be a bit of a lost opportunity. It's a terrific idea, and has some really fun elements, but it got a bit bogged down with what were, for me, unfortunate elements. To begin with, especially in the beginning, it was a bit needlessly mean-spirited.Truthfully, though, my biggest issue was that it got into too much religious proselytizing. It was fine at first - in fact I liked the way it drew parallels between the myth of Santa and the Christian myth of the birth of Jesus. Not exactly my cup of tea, but I appreciated it. But then later it got way too heavy-handed for my taste. In truth I probably would have given it 2 stars, but I figured others would appreciate those elements more than I would so I gave it the benefit of the doubt.
As for Johnny Heller's narration... bravo! Johnny made it much more bearable for me. I really enjoy listening to his interpretations of stories, and this was no different.

Know your fairy tales? This fare is gumdrop yummy

What did you love best about The Fat Man?

I loved the 40s style delivery of the narrator. It was like I could turn a corner and find Humphrey Bogart at the North Pole.

What did you like best about this story?

There was no holding back on dragging every kid's story and fairy tale out to be smashed into tinsel coated shards of glass. I will never look at Grumpy or candy canes the same way.All the characters and the North Pole itself were packed with familiar memories that I invested in some of the characters quickly.

Which character – as performed by Johnny Heller – was your favorite?

Oddly, not the hero. But Johnny had so many other great ones, I didn't mind. The way he portrayed the bond of friendship (bromance?) between Gumdrop and his best pal, made it real in a world of fantasy.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

The noir style had me at hello, but half-way through the book I was exhausted from the mental work it takes to comprehend that kind of lingo. All the references to other films, books, and fairy tales connected me to so many parts of my life, I knew I had to finish the book. Gumdrop Coal is a bit dark and scary for a bit too long. There were a few twists too many and I had to go back a couple times just to understand who was or wasn't on the right side.

A New Holiday Tradition

Highly recommend as a yearly addition to your Christmas traditions. A fun, spirited romp that will remind you of your favorite holiday characters and cherished movie lines and carols. Yet Harmon creates such an original take on Santa, elves, toys, etc that you will want to read this noir novel straight through to see what happens next. And you will want to read it year after year to revisit this intriguing story and well developed characters as they reveal a timeless lesson in the true meaning of Christmas.