The Best Christmas Pageant Ever
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The Best Christmas Pageant Ever
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Narrated by:
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Elaine Stritch
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By:
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Barbara Robinson
About this listen
The Herdmans are the worst kids in the history of the world. They lie, steal, smoke cigars, swear, and hit little kids. So no one is prepared when this outlaw family invades church one Sunday and decides to take over the annual Christmas pageant.
None of the Herdmans has ever heard the Christmas story before. Their interpretation of the tale (the Wise Men are a bunch of dirty spies and Herod needs a good beating) has a lot of people up in arms. But it will make this year's pageant the most unusual anyone has seen and, just possibly, the best one ever.
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A moving coming-of-age story set in the 1900s, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn follows the lives of 11-year-old Francie Nolan, her younger brother Neely, and their parents, Irish immigrants who have settled in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn. Johnny Nolan is as loving and fanciful as they come, but he is also often drunk and out of work, unable to find his place in the land of opportunity.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Book: flawless. SKIP THE RECORDED INTRO!!
- By Wild Wise Woman on 09-04-11
By: Betty Smith
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A Girl Named Zippy
- Growing Up Small in Mooreland, Indiana
- By: Haven Kimmel
- Narrated by: Haven Kimmel
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 545
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 378
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 382
When Haven Kimmel was born in 1965, Mooreland, Indiana, was a sleepy little hamlet of 300 people. Nicknamed "Zippy" for the way she would bolt around the house, this small girl was possessed of big eyes and even bigger ears. In this witty and lovingly told memoir, Kimmel takes readers back to a time when small-town America was caught in the amber of the innocent postwar period - people helped their neighbors, went to church on Sunday, and kept barnyard animals in their backyards.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Beautifully written, beautifully read.
- By shopgirl on 03-06-08
By: Haven Kimmel
-
The Girl with the Silver Eyes
- By: Willo Davis Roberts
- Narrated by: Heather Costa
- Length: 4 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 70
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 53
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 53
Katie Welker is used to being alone. She would rather read a book than deal with other people. Other people don't have silver eyes. Other people can't make things happen just by thinking about them! But these special powers make Katie unusual, and it's hard to make friends when you're unusual. Katie knows that she's different but she's never done anything to hurt anyone, so why is everyone afraid of her? Maybe there are other kids out there who have the same silver eyes . . . and the same talents . . . and maybe they'll be willing to help her.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I love it
- By Hugh Jones on 08-29-19
-
Kizzy Ann Stamps
- By: Jeri Watts
- Narrated by: Quincy Tyler Bernstine
- Length: 3 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 52
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 47
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 47
Kizzy Ann Stamps is starting at a new school, the just-integrated public school, and she’s worried. She’s worried that the white students won’t like her, and she’s worried they’ll stare at the scar that runs from the tip of her right eye to the corner of her smile - the scar a neighbor boy gave her, in a farming accident. But now this same boy won’t stop following Kizzy and Shag, her beloved border collie, everywhere they go - even when they’re practicing for an upcoming herding competition. And though Kizzy and Shag have been training hard, Kizzy and her coach aren’t sure they’ll even let her, a black girl, enter the competition.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Loved it!
- By Susan Straley, Author, Alzheimer's Trippin' with George on 11-14-20
By: Jeri Watts
-
Homecoming
- By: Cynthia Voigt
- Narrated by: Barbara Caruso
- Length: 13 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 352
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 298
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On Saturday morning, 13-year-old Dicey Tillerman sits in the car at the shopping mall with her younger sister and two brothers. Momma had said, "You be good." Then she walked away. They wait for a day and a night, but Momma never comes back. Finally, Dicey decides the children should go to Bridgeport, Connecticut where Aunt Cilla lives. Maybe Momma is waiting for them there. But they don't have enough money to take the bus. Determined to keep the family together, Dicey sets off on foot with her siblings.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The BEST audible book!
- By KP on 04-20-17
By: Cynthia Voigt
-
The Pinballs
- By: Betsy Byars
- Narrated by: Christina Moore
- Length: 2 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 59
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 51
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 50
When you're a pinball, life is a risky game, especially for three adolescent children placed in a foster home. Their hard-won defenses are firmly in place as these three uneasy strangers meet their foster parents. For each of these children who were failed by their families, caring for others is so scary it hurts. No one has been in control. But as their daily lives become dotted with fried chicken dinners, puppies, and birthdays, they begin to hope that even pinballs can be winners.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
no ending
- By Kaye on 10-14-19
By: Betsy Byars
-
The Sweet By and By
- A Novel
- By: Todd Johnson
- Narrated by: Becky Ann Baker, Adriane Lenox, Robin Miles, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 90
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 65
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 65
Among the longleaf pines and family farms of eastern North Carolina, days seem to pass without incident for Margaret Clayton and Bernice Stokes until they discover each other in a friendship that will take them on the most important journey of their lives. Margaret, droll and whip smart, has a will of iron that never fails her even when her body does, while Bernice, an avid country-music fan, is rarely lucid.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Great 2/3 of a book.
- By Tracy on 07-09-12
By: Todd Johnson
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Locomotion
- By: Jacqueline Woodson
- Narrated by: Dion Graham
- Length: 1 hr and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 92
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 77
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 75
When Lonnie Collins Motion was seven years old, his life changed forever. Now Lonnie is eleven and his life is about to change again. His teacher, Ms. Marcus, is showing him ways to put his jumbled feelings on paper. And suddenly, Lonnie has a whole new way to tell the world about his life, his friends, his little sister, Lili, and even his foster mom, Miss Edna, who started out crabby but isn’t so bad after all. Award-winning author Jacqueline Woodson’s lyrical voice captures Lonnie’s thoughtful perspectives of the world and his determination to one day put a family together again.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
The whole story
- By A Shaffer on 05-26-20
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The Swamp Robber
- Sugar Creek Gang, Book 1
- By: Paul Hutchens
- Narrated by: Aimee Lilly
- Length: 2 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 79
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 53
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 54
The Sugar Creek Gang discovers a "disguise" hidden in a old tree. Does it belong to the bank robber hiding in the swamp? A mysterious map hidden near the tree proves to be even more exciting than the disguise. Before the adventure ends, the gang encounters the robber, helps Bill Collins welcome a new baby sister, and saves the victim of a black widow spider bite. Join the gang as they learn the lesson of sowing and reaping.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Love47
- By Amazon Customer on 07-18-20
By: Paul Hutchens
-
The Same Stuff as Stars
- By: Katherine Paterson
- Narrated by: Alyssa Bresnahan
- Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 35
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 31
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 31
Katherine Paterson, author of Newbery Medal winners Bridge to Terabithia and Jacob Have I Loved, again displays her storytelling talent in this powerful novel. Eleven-year-old Angel must play the adult when she and her brother are abandoned at their great-grandmother’s house and the old lady proves incapable of caring for them. An emotional tale, this drama teaches the age-old lesson that every person can stand tall when the world lets them down.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Enchanting
- By BusyMom on 04-02-17
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Boy, Snow, Bird
- By: Helen Oyeyemi
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett, Carra Patterson
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 647
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 576
-
Story3.5 out of 5 stars 580
In the winter of 1953, Boy Novak arrives by chance in a small town in Massachusetts, looking, she believes, for beauty - the opposite of the life she' s left behind in New York. She marries a local widower and becomes stepmother to his winsome daughter, Snow Whitman. A wicked stepmother is a creature Boy never imagined she' d become, but elements of the familiar tale of aesthetic obsession begin to play themselves out when the birth of Boy' s daughter, Bird, who is dark-skinned, exposes the Whitmans as light-skinned African Americans passing for white.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
For Literary Lovers
- By M. Shipe on 04-25-14
By: Helen Oyeyemi
-
Looking for Salvation at the Dairy Queen
- By: Susan Gregg Gilmore
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 242
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 218
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 212
In the latest novel from Susan Gregg Gilmore, sometimes you have to return to the place where you began to arrive at the place where you belong.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Not what I expected but........
- By Coach "J" on 03-11-16
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The Homeplace
- Singing River, Book 1
- By: Gilbert Morris
- Narrated by: Judith West
- Length: 12 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 84
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 60
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 61
As the year 1928 begins, 14-year-old Lanie Belle Freeman of Fairhope, Arkansas, has bright hopes for the future. Her father has launched a new business, and her mother is expecting her fifth baby. Lanie has dreams of going to college and being a writer. Then tragedy strikes.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Slow to start. But hang in there. It’s worth it
- By paula wright on 02-24-19
By: Gilbert Morris
-
The Wednesday Wars
- By: Gary D. Schmidt
- Narrated by: Joel Johnstone
- Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 775
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 662
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 660
Meet Holling Hoodhood, a seventh-grader at Camillo Junior High who must spend Wednesday afternoons with his teacher, Mrs. Baker, while the rest of the class has religious instruction. Mrs. Baker doesn’t like Holling - he’s sure of it. Why else would she make him read the plays of William Shakespeare outside class? But everyone has bigger things to worry about, like Vietnam.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
A Happy Book
- By David Tousey on 11-01-20
By: Gary D. Schmidt
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Dr. Christopher Ringle is the last person you'd expect to find moonlighting as Santa Claus at the mall on the day after Thanksgiving. But it is there that he meets a young man named Molar Alan, who desperately needs a new perspective on the underlying value of Christmas. Dr. Ringle recruits Mo and his older brother as volunteers at a nearby children's hospital for the holiday season. At the hospital Mo is tasked to help bring holiday cheer to the young cancer patients on the fifth floor.
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Well
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Christmas has come, and with it a sparkling white winterfrost over the countryside. But twelve-year-old Bettina's parents have been called away unexpectedly, leaving her in charge of the house, the farm, and baby Pia. In all the confusion, Bettina's family neglects to set out the traditional bowl of Christmas rice pudding for the tiny nisse who are rumored to look after the family and their livestock.
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My kids were riveted
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First published in 1843, it tells the story of Ebenezer Scrooge, a mean and unpleasant man who dislikes people generally and Christmas especially. One Christmas Eve he is visited by the ghost of his former business partner Jacob Marley and the spirits of Christmas Past, Present and Yet to Come and given a glimpse of the many homes and lives which Scrooge has touched in his wretched life to date. After their visits, Scrooge is transformed into a kinder, gentler man.
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The Grinch, whose heart is two sizes too small, hates Who-ville's holiday celebrations, and plans to steal all the presents to prevent Christmas from coming. To his amazement, Christmas comes anyway, and the Grinch discovers the true meaning of the holiday.
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THE WARM LIGHTED WINDOWS
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Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle lives in an upside-down house and smells like cookies. She was even married to a pirate once. Most of all, she knows everything about children. She can cure them of any ailment. Patsy hates baths. Hubert never puts anything away. Allen eats v-e-r-y slowly. Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle has a treatment for all of them.
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Perfect for long commutes
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A Signature Performance: Tim Curry rescues Charles Dickens from the jaws of Disney with his one-of-a-kind performance of the treasured classic. Our listeners loved this version so much that it inspired our whole line of Signature Classics.
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Wonderful!!!
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Born Again
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In the 1970s, against the backdrop of the explosive Watergate scandal, Charles Colson revealed the story of his own search for meaning during the tumultuous investigations that led to the collapse of the Nixon administration. A convicted former special counsel to the president, Colson paradoxically found new life - not with success and power, but while in national disgrace and serving a prison sentence.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great Read
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- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,883
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,649
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,639
Can you imagine writing to Father Christmas and actually getting a reply? Every year, the children of J.R.R. Tolkien would write to Father Christmas, and the letters they received told wonderful stories of his adventures at the North Pole. These humorous tales are brought to life by Derek Jacobi as Father Christmas, John Moffatt as Polar Bear, and Christian Rodska as Ilbereth the Elf, complete with specially composed music.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A fun little read.
- By James on 06-30-14
By: J. R. R. Tolkien
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The Taming of the Shrew
- Arkangel Shakespeare
- By: William Shakespeare
- Narrated by: Frances Barber, Roger Allam, Alan Cox
- Length: 2 hrs and 17 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 248
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 220
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 220
Padua holds many suitors for the hand of fair Bianca, but Bianca may not be married until her spinster sister, Kate, is wed. Could any man be rash enough to take on Kate? The witty adventurer Petruchio undertakes the task. While he sets about transforming Kate from foul-tempered termagant to loving wife, young Lucentio and his clever servant, Tranio, plot to win Bianca.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Problem play
- By Tad Davis on 01-24-15
What listeners say about The Best Christmas Pageant Ever
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Diona
- 11-13-18
Short, sweet & light
If you're needing a short & sweet book this is it. Great for the Christmas season!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kdyer
- 11-01-23
Loved the narration of this story
Loved the narration of this story. I’ve read this story many times since I first heard it in school as a child and it just seems to come alive with this narrator.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 03-07-22
Funny
My daughter thought it was funny. She loved the whole book. Her favorite part was when the Herdmans brought the cat to school.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- SBC
- 04-29-23
Love all 3
Love all 3 of these and wish there were more! Narrator is fantastic and just right.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Lindsay Horvath
- 04-25-24
😂😂😂
It was so funny!!! The narrator does a good job but the audio wasn’t super clear. TYSM!!!
❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
- Susan
- 12-21-10
Awesome read for a classroom!!!
A must for any class!!! This book is a great way to study characterization and differing cultures around Christmastime. The Herdmans are so terrible, they are lovable. I agree that the recording is a little fuzzy at times, but if you are following along with a book, it is quite easy to understand. Overall a great buy! Happy listening!!!
P.S. This is NOT an abridged version; it is complete in its entirety.
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8 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Best of the Best
- 05-27-16
Funny and safe for kids👍
Funny, sweet, and genius this book is all of those things and much more😜 safe for kids but great for adults to oh and lots of laughs 🤑👊🏼💕😍
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Dawn Smith
- 12-08-22
Narrator gets a bad wrap, but we love it.
This book has been a classic since my childhood. I bought the audiobook so I could listen with my kids during our morning commute. The story is still poignant, thoughtful, and hilarious. The narrator really evokes the spirit of the characters and we actually loved her somewhat gravely voice. Give it a chance, despite the other bad reviews and you may also enjoy this timeless story.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Catherine Mincy
- 12-12-21
My favorite Christmas book!
I read this one out loud to my kids every year for a decade or so. I reread it every Christmas and this year I found it on audible.
At least than 2 hours, it can hold a child’s attention for a car ride.
Everyone should meet the Herdmans!
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jen
- 12-03-21
Fix your tone settings
I agree with previous reviewers that the sound is off at first. Once I adjusted the tones, it sounded so much better!
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2 people found this helpful