The Beast and the Bethany
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Narrated by:
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Barnaby Edwards
About this listen
Lemony Snicket meets Roald Dahl in this “wickedly funny” (James Ponti, New York Times best-selling author), deliciously macabre, and highly illustrated tale of a hungry beast, a vain immortal man, and a not-so-charming little girl who doesn’t know she’s about to be eaten.
Beauty comes at a price. And no one knows that better than Ebenezer Tweezer, who has stayed beautiful for 511 years. How, you may wonder? Ebenezer simply has to feed the beast in the attic of his mansion. In return for meals of performing monkeys, statues of Winston Churchill, and the occasional cactus, Ebenezer gets potions that keep him young and beautiful, as well as other presents.
But the beast grows ever greedier with each meal, and one day he announces that he’d like to eat a nice, juicy child next. Ebenezer has never done anything quite this terrible to hold onto his wonderful life. Still, he finds the absolutely snottiest, naughtiest, and most frankly unpleasant child he can and prepares to feed her to the beast.
The child, Bethany, may just be more than Ebenezer bargained for. She’s certainly a really rather rude houseguest, but Ebenezer still finds himself wishing she didn’t have to be gobbled up after all. Could it be Bethany is less meal-worthy and more...friend-worthy?
©2020 Jack Meggitt-Phillips. Originally published in Great Britain in 2020 by Egmont UK Limited. All rights reserved. (P)2020 Bolinda Publishing. All rights reserved.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Alice has been lying to herself for years, holding fast to the belief that the needs of her family far outweigh her own. But her outwardly successful marriage hides dark secrets, and for much of her life the children were the only reason she stuck around. These days, though her successful banker son lives nearby, his young wife seems to do everything she can to keep Alice at bay. As for Alice's other son, he has always been something of a stranger and has been traveling for so long that Alice isn't even sure what continent he is on anymore.
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Wonderfully Done!
- By Ann on 11-06-16
By: Nick Alexander
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Just My Luck
- By: Andrea Bramhall
- Narrated by: Rachael Beresford
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Genna Collins works a dead end job, loves her family, her girlfriend, and her friends. When she wins the biggest Euromillions jackpot on record everything changes . . . and not always for the best. When Abi Kitson fell in love she always knew it would go unrequited. The woman of her dreams was so close yet seemingly untouchable for so many reasons. Reasons like—they are best friends, or the big age gap, or the 'other' woman, nevermind Abi's own baggage.
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Good
- By Wendy Davidson on 10-25-24
By: Andrea Bramhall
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Don't You Forget About Me
- A Novel
- By: Mhairi McFarlane
- Narrated by: Madeline Gould
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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If there’s anything worse than being fired from the lousiest restaurant in town, it’s coming home early to find your boyfriend in bed with someone else. Reeling from the humiliation of a double dumping in one day, Georgina takes the next job that comes her way - bartender in a newly opened pub. There’s only one problem: It’s run by the guy she fell in love with years ago. And - make that two problems - he doesn’t remember her. At all. But she has fabulous friends and her signature hot pink fur coat...what more could a girl really need?
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Helpful for Sexual Assault Victims
- By Katie Best on 12-05-20
By: Mhairi McFarlane
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Fire and Hemlock
- By: Diana Wynne Jones
- Narrated by: Gemma Dawson
- Length: 11 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Polly has two sets of memories.... One is normal: school, home, friends. The other, stranger memories begin nine years ago, when she was 10 and gate-crashed an odd funeral in the mansion near her grandmother's house. Polly's just beginning to recall the sometimes marvelous, sometimes frightening adventures she embarked on with Tom Lynn after that. And then she did something terrible, and everything changed. But what did she do? Why can't she remember? Polly must uncover the secret, or her true love - and perhaps Polly herself - will be lost.
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Finally!!!
- By Jamie D. on 07-10-21
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An Ordinary Wonder
- By: Buki Papillon
- Narrated by: Adjoa Andoh
- Length: 12 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Oto leaves for boarding school with one plan: Excel and escape his cruel home. Falling in love with his roommate was certainly not on the agenda, but fear and shame force him to hide his love and true self. Back home, weighed down by the expectations of their wealthy and powerful family, the love of Oto's twin sister wavers, and, as their world begins to crumble around them, Oto must make drastic choices that will alter the family's lives for ever.
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Intriguing
- By Mary P Browne on 09-20-21
By: Buki Papillon
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Miss Cecily's Recipes for Exceptional Ladies
- A Novel
- By: Vicky Zimmerman
- Narrated by: Beth Chalmers
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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When her life falls apart on the eve of her 40th birthday, Kate Parker finds herself volunteering at the Lauderdale House for Exceptional Ladies. There she meets 97-year-old Cecily Finn. Cecily's tongue is as sharp as her mind, but she's fed up with pretty much everything. Having no patience with Kate's choices, Cecily prescribes her a self-help book with a difference.
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Book for foodies
- By RueRue on 02-20-23
By: Vicky Zimmerman
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American Gods [TV Tie-In]
- By: Neil Gaiman
- Narrated by: George Guidall
- Length: 20 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Locked behind bars for three years, Shadow did his time, quietly waiting for the day when he could return to Eagle Point, Indiana. A man no longer scared of what tomorrow might bring, all he wanted was to be with Laura, the wife he deeply loved, and start a new life. But just days before his release, Laura and Shadow's best friend are killed in an accident. With his life in pieces and nothing to keep him tethered, Shadow accepts a job from a beguiling stranger he meets on the way home, an enigmatic man who calls himself Mr. Wednesday.
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Read other Neil Gaiman first
- By Robert on 04-16-11
By: Neil Gaiman
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Lost Child
- The True Story of a Girl Who Couldn't Ask for Help
- By: Torey Hayden
- Narrated by: Lucy Rayner
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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In a forgotten corner of Wales, a young girl languishes in a home for troubled children. Abandoned by her parents because of her violent streak, Jessie - at the age of 10 - is at risk of becoming just another lost soul in the foster system. Precocious and bold, Jessie is convinced she is possessed by the devil and utterly unprepared for the arrival of therapist Torey Hayden. Armed with patience, compassion, and unconditional love, Hayden begins working with Jessie once a week. Then, Jessie makes a stunning accusation against one of Hayden’s colleagues.
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Mixed
- By Pink Amy on 09-17-21
By: Torey Hayden
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Lost for Words
- By: Andrea Bramhall
- Narrated by: Rachael Beresford
- Length: 11 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Sasha Adams has it all. Fulfilling career, loving family, great friends, and . . . Who's she kidding? She lives at home with her aging mother, Fleur. She works as a massage therapist, and spends all her time with her best friend, Bobbi. But damn it, she's happy. Well, okay, maybe not happy, but she's content. It's enough. Until the well-meaning but meddlesome women in her life, Fleur and Bobbi, team up and enter Sasha into a writing competition with the potential to change her life.
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She trusts her readers
- By Anonymous User on 01-02-23
By: Andrea Bramhall
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Lost for Words
- By: Stephanie Butland
- Narrated by: Imogen Church
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Loveday Cardew prefers books to people, and her job in a York bookshop is her refuge. If you look carefully, you might see the first lines of the novels she loves the most tattooed on her skin, but there are secrets Loveday will never share. Into the bookshop come a poet, a lover, a friend and three mysterious deliveries, each of which stirs unsettling memories she wants to forget. Turning the pages of her past will be the hardest thing Loveday has ever done. Can she trust those around her?
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Beautiful
- By J.Durant on 05-13-17
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I Know You
- By: Annabel Kantaria
- Narrated by: Nan McNamara
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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A recent transplant from sunny California, life in the London suburbs is not what Taylor Watson expected. Far from the West End shops and city lights she imagined, she finds herself pregnant and lonely, with a husband frequently away on business and only social media to keep her company. It’s only after Taylor joins a book club and a walking group, that she finally starts to make some real-life friends. Before long, Taylor’s hanging out with Anna, Sarah, Simon, and Caroline, but, as her pregnancy progresses and her friendships blossom, a sense of unease develops.
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slightly suspenceful
- By Karen T on 03-16-22
By: Annabel Kantaria
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The War Nurses: A Moving Wartime Romance Saga Full of Heart
- The War Nurses Series
- By: Lizzie Page
- Narrated by: Marian Hussey
- Length: 10 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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You will love every moment of this absolutely brilliant wartime saga, perfect for fans of Diney Costeloe, Soraya M. Lane, and Nadine Dorries. As war takes its toll, the love and care of two brave young nurses become everything to the wounded soldiers they tend... 1914. Two plucky young nurses pledge to help the war effort: Mairi, a wholesome idealist hoping to leave behind her past and Elsie, a glamorous single mother with a weakness for handsome soldiers. Despite their differences, the pair become firm friends.
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I really really wanted to like this book...
- By Teresa M. Thornborough on 09-26-19
By: Lizzie Page
What listeners say about The Beast and the Bethany
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- K. Hunt
- 02-07-23
Excellent!
Truly hysterical, slighly dark & MUST Listen! My 9 year old son loved it! Can't wait to listen to Book 2!
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