The Actual One
How I Tried, and Failed, to Avoid Adulthood Forever
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The Actual One
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Narrated by:
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Isy Suttie
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By:
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Isy Suttie
About this listen
A hilarious, razor-sharp debut memoir about the moment when you realize that your friends have all grown up and left you behind, for listeners of Caitlin Moran's How to Be a Woman, Jenny Lawson's Let's Pretend This Never Happened, and Kelly Williams Brown's Adulting.
Isy Suttie wakes up one day in her late 20s to discover that the deal she'd struck with her friends, to put off growing up for as long as possible, had been entirely in her head. Everyone around her is suddenly into mortgages, farmers' markets, and going off the pill rather than running naked into the sea or getting hammered in a country pub with 80-year-old men.
After a particularly crushing breakup precipitated by Isy's gifting of a human-size papier-mâché penguin to her boyfriend, her dearest friend advises Isy not to worry: the next guy she meets will be The Actual One.
Heartened by this promise, Isy decides to keep delaying the onset of adulthood, whether that means standing on the side of a highway in nothing but an old fur coat and sneakers, dating a man who speaks only in rhyme, or conquering her fears of Alpine skiing by wildly overestimating her athletic ability. Insightful and laugh-out-loud funny, The Actual One is an ode to the confusing wilderness of your late 20s alongside a quest for a genuinely good relationship - or, at the very least, a good story to tell.
©2016 Laugh Riot Ltd Isy Suttie 2016 (P)2017 HarperCollins PublishersListeners also enjoyed...
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At 29, Claire is full of the joys of life - that is, until her husband leaves her on the day she gives birth to her baby. With a broken heart, a beautiful newly born and an expanding mirror image, she decides to visit her eccentric family in Dublin. There she starts to feel better. So much better, in fact, that James is in for a surprise when he decides to slither back into her life....
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5 out of 5 stars
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A fun read, every time
- By Audrey Smith on 01-06-23
By: Marian Keyes
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Make or Break
- By: Catherine Bennetto
- Narrated by: Anna Acton
- Length: 11 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 288
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 266
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 264
Jess, a 29-year-old Londoner with a Kate Beckett fringe and a tendency for dramatics, gets taken on a surprise trip by her long-term boyfriend, Pete, to attend her best friend’s last-minute wedding in South Africa. Jess imagines sun, sand, wine and safaris. And returning to London with an ethically mined diamond on her left hand... But this holiday isn’t set to be quite the fairy tale Jess has planned. Suddenly she finds her world tilting on its axis, and things are only set to get worse when Jess returns home....
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1 out of 5 stars
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Excruciating. Save yourself.
- By Kristyn Rose on 05-11-19
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After the Party
- By: Lisa Jewell
- Narrated by: Helen Duff
- Length: 14 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 761
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 707
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Story4 out of 5 stars 702
In this irresistible novel from the author of Then She Was Gone, Jem and Ralph discover the power of starting over after 11 years together have left them drifting apart.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Bitter, Anti-Christian Stereotyping Detracts.
- By Gretchen on 11-23-18
By: Lisa Jewell
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Wilde Like Me
- By: Louise Pentland
- Narrated by: Fiona Hardingham
- Length: 8 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 235
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 221
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Story4 out of 5 stars 222
Robin Wilde has a beautiful six-year-old daughter, a job she's really rather good at, a wonderful best friend and an auntie who is bonkers, yes, but loves her to the moon and back. But Robin has a secret. Behind the mask she carefully applies every day, she can't shift the grey, lonely feelings of The Emptiness. She struggles to fit in with the school mum crew, online dating is totally despair-inducing and she worries all the time about raising her daughter with self-confidence, courage and joy.
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2 out of 5 stars
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I wanted so badly to love this!
- By Robyn on 07-22-17
By: Louise Pentland
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Summer at the Comfort Food Café
- The Comfort Food Cafe, Book 1
- By: Debbie Johnson
- Narrated by: Dawn Murphy
- Length: 9 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 44
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 40
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 40
The Comfort Food Cafe is perched on a windswept clifftop at what feels like the edge of the world, serving up the most delicious cream teas, beautifully baked breads and carefully crafted cupcakes. For tourists and locals alike, the ramshackle cafe overlooking the beach is a beacon of laughter, companionship and security - a place like no other, a place that offers friendship as a daily special and where a hearty welcome is always on the menu.
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1 out of 5 stars
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incredibly boring!
- By Share Faerber on 12-23-19
By: Debbie Johnson
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You Had Me at Hello
- By: Mhairi McFarlane
- Narrated by: Julie Hesmondhalgh
- Length: 10 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 329
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Performance3.5 out of 5 stars 298
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Story4 out of 5 stars 295
What happens when the one that got away comes back? Find out in this sparkling debut from Mhairi McFarlane. Rachel and Ben. Ben and Rachel. It was them against the world. Until it all fell apart. It’s been a decade since they last spoke, but when Rachel bumps into Ben one rainy day, the years melt away. They’d been partners in crime and the best of friends. But life has moved on: Ben is married. Rachel is not. Yet in that split second, Rachel feels the old friendship return. And along with it, the broken heart she’s never been able to mend.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Narrator ruins it
- By Sandi P on 09-07-16
By: Mhairi McFarlane
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Things We Never Said
- By: Nick Alexander
- Narrated by: Imogen Church
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 70
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 58
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Story4 out of 5 stars 57
When Catherine learns that she is dying, she remembers the words her husband once jokingly uttered and decides to leave him the ultimate posthumous gift: a time capsule containing photographs of their life together along with tape recordings in which she recounts every secret she ever kept, every unspoken thought whether loving or treacherous - the things they never said.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Boring couple, Boring Book
- By Shell on 12-23-18
By: Nick Alexander
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The Third Wife
- A Novel
- By: Lisa Jewell
- Narrated by: Joe Jameson
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 3,343
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,029
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Story4 out of 5 stars 3,021
In the early hours of a summer morning, a young woman steps into the path of an oncoming bus. A tragic accident? Or suicide? At the center of this puzzle is Adrian Wolfe, a successful architect and grief-stricken widower, who, a year after his third wife's death, begins to investigate the cause. As Adrian looks back on their brief but seemingly happy marriage, disturbing secrets begin to surface. The divorces from his two previous wives had been amicable, or so it seemed; his children, all five of them, were resilient as ever, or so he thought.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not a mystery
- By Susan on 07-06-18
By: Lisa Jewell
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Dear Fatty
- By: Dawn French
- Narrated by: Liza Tarbuck
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 376
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 293
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 293
With a sharp eye for comic detail and a wicked ear for the absurdities of life, Dawn French shows just how an RAF girl from the west country with dreams of becoming a ballerina/bridesmaid/thief rose to become one of the best-loved comedy actresses of our time.
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5 out of 5 stars
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If you like Dawn French - You will love this book!
- By Pamela on 01-22-09
By: Dawn French
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Walking Back to Happiness
- By: Lucy Dillon
- Narrated by: Jilly Bond
- Length: 12 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 123
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 109
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 110
Juliet’s been in hiding - from her family, from her broken life, but most of all from the fact that Ben’s not around anymore. Her mother, Diane, has run out of advice. But then she insists Juliet look after her elderly Labrador and it becomes apparent that Coco the dog might actually be the one who can rescue her daughter. Especially when it leads to her walking dogs for a few other locals too, including a spaniel, Damson, who belongs to a very attractive man.... Before she knows it, Juliet realizes she has somehow become the town’s unofficial pet-sitter.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great Read - makes you appreciate what you have
- By Leisha on 12-10-12
By: Lucy Dillon
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Us: A Novel
- By: David Nicholls
- Narrated by: David Haig
- Length: 14 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 862
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 769
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Story4 out of 5 stars 773
Douglas Petersen may be mild-mannered, but behind his reserve lies a sense of humor that seduces beautiful Connie into a second date...and eventually into marriage. Now, almost three decades later, they live more or less happily in the London suburbs with their moody seventeen year-old son, Albie. Then Connie tells him she thinks she wants a divorce. The timing couldn’t be worse. Connie has planned a month-long tour of European capitals, a chance to experience the world’s greatest works of art as a family, and she can’t bring herself to cancel. And maybe going ahead is for the best anyway? Douglas is privately convinced that this landmark trip will rekindle the romance in the marriage, and might even help him to bond with Albie. Narrated from Douglas’s endearingly honest, slyly witty, and at times achingly optimistic point of view, Us is the story of a man trying to rescue his relationship with the woman he loves, and learning how to get closer to a son who’s always felt like a stranger.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great novel - my favorite in years
- By Mark on 07-21-15
By: David Nicholls
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Here's Looking at You
- By: Mhairi McFarlane
- Narrated by: Cassandra Harwood
- Length: 10 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 680
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 614
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 616
The new novel from the bestselling author of You Had Me At Hello. Anna Alessi - history expert, possessor of a lot of hair and an occasionally filthy mouth - seeks nice man for intelligent conversation and Mills & Boon moments. Despite the oddballs that keep turning up on her dates, Anna couldn't be happier. As a 30-something with a job she loves, life has turned out better than she dared dream.
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5 out of 5 stars
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It Grows On You
- By Sharlotte on 05-24-16
By: Mhairi McFarlane
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The Darkest Secret
- A Novel
- By: Alex Marwood
- Narrated by: Beverley A. Crick
- Length: 12 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,302
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,171
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,174
Real estate mogul Sean Jackson is throwing himself a splashy 50th birthday party, but trouble starts almost immediately: His ex-wife has sent his teenage daughters to the party without telling him; his current wife has fired the nanny; and he's finding it difficult to sneak away to his mistress. Then something truly terrible happens: one of his three-year-old twins goes missing. No trace of her is ever found. The attendees of the party, nicknamed the Jackson Associates by the press, become infamous overnight.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wow
- By Christina on 09-14-16
By: Alex Marwood
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How Not to Fall in Love, Actually
- By: Catherine Bennetto
- Narrated by: Rosie Jones
- Length: 12 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 347
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 319
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 314
Emma has a job in television which is distinctly less glamourous and exciting than it sounds. She's managed to claw her way up the ranks from Tea Maker and Rubbish Collector to Second Assistant Director (heavy on the assistant. Even heavier on the second.). So when she finds she's accidentally very pregnant and at the same time accidentally very sacked (well, less accidentally: she did tell her boss to stick his job up his bum), she knows things are going to have to change.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Body and sexuality shaming at its worst
- By Kristyn Rose on 02-08-19
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Lost for Words
- By: Stephanie Butland
- Narrated by: Imogen Church
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 242
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 222
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 221
Loveday Cardew prefers books to people, and her job in a York bookshop is her refuge. If you look carefully, you might see the first lines of the novels she loves the most tattooed on her skin, but there are secrets Loveday will never share. Into the bookshop come a poet, a lover, a friend and three mysterious deliveries, each of which stirs unsettling memories she wants to forget. Turning the pages of her past will be the hardest thing Loveday has ever done. Can she trust those around her?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Beautiful
- By J.Durant on 05-13-17
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I Heart New York: A Novel
- By: Lindsey Kelk
- Narrated by: Justine Eyre
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 126
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 116
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Story4 out of 5 stars 114
Angela Clark is in love - with the most fabulous city in the world! When Angela catches her boyfriend with another woman at her best friend's wedding, she's heartbroken and desperate to run away. With little more than a crumpled bridesmaid dress, a pair of Louboutins, and her passport in hand, Angela decides to jump on a plane for... NYC! Settling into a cute hotel and quickly bonding with benevolent concierge Jenny - a chatterbox Oprah wannabe with room for a new best friend, Angela heads out for a New York makeover....
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5 out of 5 stars
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Surprisingly wonderful!!!
- By Vicky Red on 04-04-17
By: Lindsey Kelk
What listeners say about The Actual One
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Keith Hopper
- 11-01-19
manic but fun
I listened to this and a dreary, long historical book on the Civil War...switching back and forth risked a stroke. The author-narrator's accent and liberal use of British phrases and references were a bit difficult to deal with...I am American. But I found that this improved as I worked through. It is funny...mildly so in most of the book...but hysterical in places. It was an interesting sort of mental-verbal tag-along with a much younger, more frenetic personality than my own, and from an unfamiliar culture. Although I doubt the author intends it, I was left with a mild, lingering sadness...the sadness of valiantly searching for that perfect soulmate in an off-the-rack world. Now I feel worried for her.
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 08-08-20
horrible
listened to three chapters and couldn't take anymore. barely understand what was talking about yuk
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