Still on Fire

Field Notes from a Queer Mystic

By: Jan Phillips

Narrated by: Jan Phillips

Jan Phillips was a devoted Catholic who wanted nothing more than to be a nun and who joyously entered the convent at 18. Two years later, she was dismissed for “a disposition unsuited to religious life, with excessive and exclusive friendships”. She was lesbian. She had always known it.

“It was being homosexual that made me want to kill myself [at 12]. As far as I knew, there was nothing worse than being queer. They were perverts, sinners, hated by God, hated by just about everyone. Lezzies, bull dykes, fags, queers, lesbos—all damned, and there I was, one of them."

Still on Fire is a memoir of religious wounding and spiritual healing, of judgment and forgiveness, and of social activism in a world that is in our hands. Phillips traveled the globe on a one-woman peace pilgrimage, raised the consciousness of women, faced her privilege on a trip to India, and is working to dismantle structural racism. Her Livingkindness Foundation supports schoolchildren in Nigeria.

“Any spirituality that does not bring about more justice, more social awareness, more right action in the world is a lame and impotent excuse for faith.... My action for justice is my spirituality."

She tells the story of her life with humor and compassion, sharing her poetry, songs, and photos along the way.

Jan Phillips facilitates workshops throughout the US and Canada using her music, videos, and poetry to keep the heart and brain connected.

She has been a writer and photographer since the mid-1970s, and her work has been published in The New York Times, People, Christian Science Monitor, Ms. Magazine, Parade Magazine, Utne Reader, The Sun Magazine, and National Catholic Reporter.

Phillips is the author of 10 other books, including No Ordinary Time (Livingkindness Foundation, 2011) and There Are Burning Bushes Everywhere (Livingkindness Foundation, 2016).

©2021 Jan Phillips (P)2022 Jan Phillips

Critic reviews

"Still on Fire is another visionary book from thought leader Jan Phillips, an evolutionary work that connects spiritual consciousness with global action. A prophetic work of prose, prayer, and poetry." (Deepak Chopra, MD)

Powerful story

A soulful journey of growth and important perspective for our times. Enjoyed hearing the author read her story as well. Thank you for sharing this Jan!

Interested in evolving?

Confused about who you are and/or why you are alive? Read this.
In telling her story of becoming the person she is, Jan Phillips ignites the reader’s own story with the challenge of a prophet in hopes that you too choose to live “on fire.”

Like water in the desert

This is a story of spiritual transformation and divine affirmation told by a mystic and poet with beauty, pain, and exquisite compassion. As someone who, like Jan, has been wounded by the church, her chapter titled "Nothing to Forgive" was grace and balm. Jan's luscious description of her morning practice has inspired me to take up my own practice again! And I tell you this because it is true: listen to this book, even if you also read it, because you'll be treated to her beautiful original songs! I'm opened, uplifted, enlightened, and activated by this well-written memoir.