Stalking Death and Other Ill-Advised Dating Techniques
A Reaper Dark Comedy
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Stalking Death and Other Ill-Advised Dating Techniques
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Narrated by:
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Christopher Harbour
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By:
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Mercy Hollow
About this listen
I didn't realize what a piece of crap I was until I died.
The Grim, the post-mortem chaperone who collected me, is the crankiest Death in the greater Kansas City area. Understandable, since her job is to bag the souls of the worthless and rotten. Apparently I'm so crummy they made me her apprentice. There are so many other kinds of Death, and of all of them, I get lassoed to Miss Buzzkill, who loves to remind me I'm hers with her big green gargoyle finger, pointing and giving me her spooky come-hither.
As the Grim's new involuntary Lackey, some of the rules are easy:
Avoid inter-office conflicts - Mind your own Death's business.
Shelve your souls before exiting the locker room.
No Death Suits in the hot tub.
But other dos-and-don'ts I just can't handle:
- Never getting a love of my life.
- Giving up the love of my death.
In my new hereafter, the Grim gives me two options—stay and help her take souls, including the love of my death, or refuse and condemn those souls to nothingness forever.
I'm opting for door number three—sacrificing myself to get back to life. Which, I'm pretty sure I can do, if I can get the most spine-tingling jeebie-making Death in the Underworld to shove me in his moan-oozing Gray Box of the Unknown.
It's not like I'd come back as a possum. Right?
If you like snarky, warm-hearted stories with out-of-the-ordinary characters, you'll love Stalking Death.
Follow 17-year-old Tyro and the other quirky Deaths of Kansas City in this darkly comedic young- adult fantasy. Buy Stalking Death today to start listening to Tyro's sparklingly irregular belly-flop into the afterlife.
©2021 Mercy Hollow (P)2022 Mercy HollowListeners also enjoyed...
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-
Story4 out of 5 stars 76
When her boyfriend dies a most untimely death, Aura--who can see ghosts--is forced to reconsider her relationship with the living and dead in Shade.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Not the same old paranormal romance
- By Alexis on 01-28-12
By: Jeri Smith-Ready
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Dying for a Living
- By: Kory M. Shrum
- Narrated by: Hollie Jackson
- Length: 8 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 14
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 14
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Story4 out of 5 stars 14
On the morning before her 67th death, it is business as usual for Agent Jesse Sullivan: Meet with the mortician, counsel soon-to-be-dead clients, and have coffee while reading the latest in regeneration theory. Jesse dies for a living, literally. Because of a neurological disorder, she is one of the rare people who can serve as a death surrogate, dying so others don't have to. But when Jesse is murdered and becomes the sole suspect in a federal investigation, more than her freedom and sanity are at stake. She must catch the killer herself - or die trying.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Unique Paranormal Character
- By Carolyn Philpot on 06-06-22
By: Kory M. Shrum
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Still
- Still Series, Book 1
- By: Camilla Monk
- Narrated by: Amy McFadden
- Length: 9 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 75
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 65
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 65
It always started like this, a pulse inside me, like a warning before the tide surged, roared... and froze everything. Twenty-year old Emma just landed in Rome, to find the father who walked out of her life more than a decade ago and was too busy eating pizza to call. Traveling with her is a secret she's carried alone since childhood: sometimes, around her, time stops. People and cars freeze, rain hangs still in the air and there's only her left in the silence. To make things worse, instead of her dad, Em runs into a past she'd rather forget in the person of Lily, her stepsister.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Camilla Monk & Amy McFadden - the dynamic duo!
- By Bethany on 07-03-18
By: Camilla Monk
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Stained
- Stained Series, Book 1
- By: Ella James
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Evans, Anthony Ferguson
- Length: 7 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 50
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 43
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Story4 out of 5 stars 44
Seventeen-year-old Julia is finally living the good life. She's traded a hard cot in a Memphis orphanage for her very own room in a perfect little house, on a perfect little street, with a perfect set of parents who picked her to be their daughter. But Julia is hiding a secret - and one fall night, she returns home from a friend's house to find that her secret has found her. Her 'forever home' is ashes. Her parents are dead. And, in the sky above the flames, a winged creature hunts her.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Horrendous -- Run Away
- By GH on 07-17-15
By: Ella James
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Teach Me to Forget
- By: Erica M. Chapman
- Narrated by: Bailey Carr
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 126
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 113
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 113
Ellery wants to die. Nothing is going right. Her younger sister is dead, and her family is in a shambles. But on the day that she tries to end it all, even the gun won't work. When she tries to return it, she's intercepted by a security guard who also happens to be a boy in one of her classes, Colter Sawyer. Colter recognizes Ellery's desperation and begins working hard to earn her trust.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Darkly Romantic
- By Clayton McEwen on 01-21-17
By: Erica M. Chapman
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City in Embers
- Collector Series, Book 1
- By: Stacey Marie Brown
- Narrated by: Amy Landon
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,139
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,039
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,042
Zoey Daniels has been tossed from foster home to foster home, where she grows up fast and tough. When she is placed in her "last chance" home, she finds a reason to stay and turn her life around: her foster sister, Lexie, who is paralyzed and confined to a wheelchair. After high school, Zoey is hired by a special government agency, the Department of Molecular Genetics (DMG), where she meets the other reason to remain: Daniel, her coworker. The man she loves. But there is something unique about Zoey.
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4 out of 5 stars
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a totally enthralling budding romance
- By Midwestbonsai on 12-30-16
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Real Vampires Don't Sparkle
- By: Amy Fecteau
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 17 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 279
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 258
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Story4 out of 5 stars 258
Matheus Taylor didn't ask to be murdered. To be fair, the percentage of people actually asking to be murdered is probably small enough to be safely ignored, but he felt it was worth stating regardless. His life might have been ordinary, but it was his life and he wasn't done with it yet. Quin didn't care. A 1,700-year-old Roman, Quintus Livius Saturnius had a different view of morality than most people. Killing Matheus and hijacking his undead existence seemed perfectly acceptable to him.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not sure if it's the narrator or just bad writing
- By MD on 06-20-17
By: Amy Fecteau
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Dark Room Etiquette
- By: Robin Roe
- Narrated by: Andrew J. Andersen
- Length: 12 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 105
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 89
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 89
Sixteen-year-old Sayers Wayte has everything. Popularity, good looks, perfect grades—there's nothing Sayers' family money can't buy. Until he's kidnapped by a man who tells him the privileged life he's been living is based on a lie. Trapped in a windowless room, without knowing why he's been taken or how long the man plans to keep him shut away, Sayers faces a terrifying new reality. To survive, he must forget the world he once knew, and play the part his abductor has created for him.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Absolutely brilliant
- By Shelley on 01-20-23
By: Robin Roe
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The Love Interest
- By: Cale Dietrich
- Narrated by: Michael Crouch
- Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 118
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 101
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Story4 out of 5 stars 101
There is a secret organization that cultivates teenage spies. The agents are called Love Interests because getting close to people destined for great power means getting valuable secrets. Caden is a Nice: the boy next door, sculpted to physical perfection. Dylan is a Bad: the brooding, dark-souled guy, and dangerously handsome. The girl they are competing for is important to the organization, and each boy will pursue her. Will she choose a Nice or the Bad?
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4 out of 5 stars
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Jaysus, can Michael Crouch narrate my daily life?
- By ZippyBippy on 03-14-18
By: Cale Dietrich
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Under Wraps
- By: Hannah Jayne
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 130
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 122
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Story4 out of 5 stars 121
Sick of wrongful-death lawsuits every time a full moon comes around? Call the Underworld Detection Agency. As a human immune to magic, Sophie Lawson can help everyone from banshee to zombie transition into normal, everyday San Francisco life. With a handsome werewolf as her UDA boss and a fashionista vampire for a roommate, Sophie knows everything there is to know about the undead, the unseen, and the uncanny. That is, until a rash of gruesome murders has demons and mortals running for cover, and Sophie finds herself playing sidekick to detective Parker Hayes.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Annoying Narrator
- By Ocie Nelson on 07-23-14
By: Hannah Jayne
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Bleeding Violet
- By: Dia Reeves
- Narrated by: Suzy Jackson
- Length: 9 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 50
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 31
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 31
With a head plagued by hallucinations, a medicine cabinet full of pills, and a closet stuffed with frilly, violet dresses, Hanna's tired of being the outcast, the weird girl, the freak. So she runs away to Portero, Texas, in search of a new home. But Portero is a stranger town than Hanna expects. She discovers secrets that would terrify any normal soul. Good thing for Hanna, she's far from normal. As this crazy girl meets an even crazier town, only two things are certain: Anything can happen, and no one is safe.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Didn't like it. Sorry, not sorry
- By Cii'Em on 02-15-16
By: Dia Reeves
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Here
- By: Ella James
- Narrated by: Allison McLemore, Eric Michael Summerer
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 147
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 135
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Story4 out of 5 stars 135
Milo Mitchell's life used to be charmed, but that was before her family dissolved, she went a little crazy, and her best friends started acting more like strangers. Spending Saturday morning in a treehouse with a stun gun for company and a herd of deer for friends is the only exciting thing in her life...until she shoots a fawn and finds her dart stuck in a guy. Her gorgeous victim is dressed in a Brioni tux and armed with a hanky. He has no idea who or where he is. Afraid her dart caused his amnesia, Milo takes him in.
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1 out of 5 stars
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The worst book I have ever listened to!
- By Paul O. on 02-19-16
By: Ella James
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The Forgetting
- By: Nicole Maggi
- Narrated by: Suzy Jackson
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 24
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 23
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 23
When Georgie Kendrick wakes up after a heart transplant she feels...different. The organ beating in her chest isn't in tune with the rest of her body. Like it still belongs to someone else. Someone with terrible memories...memories that are slowly replacing her own. Georgie discovers her heart belonged to a teenage girl who lived a rough life on the streets. Everyone thinks she committed suicide, but only Georgie knows the truth. And now Georgie has to catch a killer--before she loses herself completely.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Was not expecting
- By Amiah on 09-06-22
By: Nicole Maggi
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The Lost Savior
- By: Siobhan Davis™
- Narrated by: Lexi Richmond, Cooper North, Raviv Ullman, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 128
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 115
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 115
Tori King is a normal senior in high school. Head over heels in love with her childhood sweetheart, she is busy making plans for college when a chance encounter with an alien bounty hunter turns her world upside down. Now she's experiencing terrifying changes and developing supernatural abilities that leave her questioning her entire existence.
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5 out of 5 stars
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DO IT!
- By Rebecca L. on 04-10-19
By: Siobhan Davis™
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Vassa in the Night
- By: Sarah Porter
- Narrated by: Madeleine Maby
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 53
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 49
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Story4 out of 5 stars 49
In the enchanted kingdom of Brooklyn, the fashionable people put on cute shoes, go to parties in warehouses, drink on rooftops at sunset, and tell themselves they've arrived. A whole lot of Brooklyn is like that now - but not Vassa's working-class neighborhood. In Vassa's neighborhood, where she lives with her stepmother and bickering stepsisters, one might stumble onto magic, but stumbling out again could become an issue.
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3 out of 5 stars
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A Weird Whimsical Story
- By Doha on 12-16-16
By: Sarah Porter
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Luna
- By: Julie Anne Peters
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Evans
- Length: 7 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 255
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 229
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 229
Regan's brother Liam can't stand the person he is during the day. Like the moon from whom Liam has chosen his female namesake, his true self, Luna, only reveals herself at night. In the secrecy of his basement bedroom Liam transforms himself into the beautiful girl he longs to be, with help from his sister's clothes and makeup. Now, everything is about to change - Luna is preparing to emerge from her cocoon. But are Liam's family and friends ready to welcome Luna into their lives?
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1 out of 5 stars
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It just doesn't work
- By Dawn on 01-29-19
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Elemental Mating
- By: Milly Taiden
- Narrated by: Tyler Donne, Tess Irondale
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 435
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 402
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 399
Brilliant scientist Melinda Caster has discovered a new strain of the Zika virus that stimulates synaptic growth in embryos, causing neuron development beyond normal human levels. Way beyond, like ESP-levels of cognitive abilities. When the lab is broken into, Melinda realizes that someone has been keeping tabs on her research and wants it for themselves. A happy accident destroys critical data before it can fall into the wrong hands, but unfortunately that makes Melinda and her perfect memory a target.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Good story!
- By NancyB on 11-27-17
By: Milly Taiden