So You Had to Build a Time Machine
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So You Had to Build a Time Machine
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Narrated by:
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Emily
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By:
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Jason Offutt
About this listen
Skid doesn’t believe in ghosts or time travel or any of that nonsense. A circus runaway-turned-bouncer, she believes in hard work, self-defense, and good, strong coffee. Then, one day, an annoying theoretical physicist named Dave pops into the seat next to her at her least favorite Kansas City bar and disappears into thin air when she punches him (he totally deserved it).
Now, street names are changing, Skid’s favorite muffins are swapping frosting flavors, and Dave keeps reappearing in odd places like the old Sanderson murder house.
And that’s only the start of her problems. Something in the world has gone wrong. Terribly wrong. Absolutely f--ked up.
Someone has the nastiest versions of every conceivable reality at their fingertips, and they're not afraid to smash them together. With the help of a smooth-talking haunted-house owner and a linebacker-sized Dungeons and Dragons-loving baker, Skid and Dave set out to save the world from whatever scientific experiment has sent them all dimension-hopping against their will.
©2020 Jason Offutt (P)2020 Jason OffuttListeners also enjoyed...
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The Unnoticeables: A Novel
- The Vicious Circuit, Book 1
- By: Robert Brockway
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl, Emily Foster, Scott Merriman
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 816
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 754
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Story4 out of 5 stars 754
There are angels, and they are not beneficent or loving. But they do watch over us. They watch our lives unfold, analyzing us for repeating patterns and redundancies. When they find them, the angels simplify those patterns and remove the redundancies, and the problem that is "you" gets solved.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Left wanting
- By Michelle L. Baron on 08-08-15
By: Robert Brockway
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Au Revoir, Crazy European Chick
- By: Joe Schreiber
- Narrated by: Steven Boyer
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 47
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 42
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 42
New York Times best-selling author Joe Schreiber pens a funny, action-packed novel that is equal parts Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and La Femme Nikita. It’s prom night, and Perry is looking forward to playing a gig with his band in New York City. But when his mother makes him take their quiet and geeky Lithuanian exchange student to the dance, he finds himself on a reckless ride through Manhattan—in his dad’s red Jaguar—with a trained assassin.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A teen novel for older teens (58 in this case)
- By Milo on 08-13-12
By: Joe Schreiber
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John Dies at the End
- By: David Wong
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 14 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 9,381
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 8,489
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Story4 out of 5 stars 8,505
STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
- By C Yohe on 11-19-12
By: David Wong
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Black Marks
- By: Pete Aldin
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 10 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 46
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 44
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Story4 out of 5 stars 45
No good deed goes unpunished. Detroit is a hole where even a werewolf's sins can be buried. Or so Jake Brennan hopes. Hiding from his hunters, shooting heroin to negate the effect of the full moon, he is beginning to turn things around. And the day he is witness to a brutal attack on ER doctor Gwen Cheevey, Jake is forced to transform into something new: a hero. But when a clip of his good deed goes viral, Jake's days of hiding are over. To keep Gwen safe, Jake will need to embrace the beast within.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Black Marks Absolved
- By Spooky Mike on 05-16-18
By: Pete Aldin
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Good People
- By: Marcus Sakey
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean, Dan John Miller
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 77
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 55
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Story4 out of 5 stars 54
The $400,000 would take care of the mortgage payments that are starting to back up on Tom and Anna Reed. It would cover the credit-card debt they can't get out from under. It would help them find a way to have the child they desperately want but can't seem to conceive. It is more money than either of them has ever seen in one place. But they have no idea what it's doing in their house.
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3 out of 5 stars
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What were the producers thinking?
- By cristina on 08-04-13
By: Marcus Sakey
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Zombies: More Recent Dead
- By: Neil Gaiman, Carrie Vaughn, Caitlin R. Kiernan, and others
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt, Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 20 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 128
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 116
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Story4 out of 5 stars 116
The living dead are more alive than ever! Zombies have become more than an iconic monster for the 21st century: They are now a phenomenon constantly revealing as much about ourselves - and our fascination with death, resurrection, and survival - as our love for the supernatural or post-apocalyptic speculation. Our most imaginative literary minds have been devoured by these incredible creatures and produced exciting, insightful, and unflinching new works of zombie fiction.
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3 out of 5 stars
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A well blended mix
- By The Lone Mopper on 07-30-15
By: Neil Gaiman, and others
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Ghost Road Blues
- The Pine Deep Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Jonathan Maberry
- Narrated by: Tom Weiner
- Length: 14 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 3,586
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,265
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Story4 out of 5 stars 3,263
The cozy little town of Pine Deep buried the horrors of its past a long time ago. Thirty years have gone by since the darkness descended and the Black Harvest began, a time when a serial killer sheared a bloody swath through the quiet Pennsylvania village. The evil that once coursed through Pine Deep has been replaced by cheerful tourists getting ready to enjoy the country’s largest Halloween celebration in what is now called “The Spookiest Town in America.”
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2 out of 5 stars
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Love Joe Ledger Series? Avoid This Trainwreck.
- By Kathleen on 10-21-13
By: Jonathan Maberry
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The Long Way Down
- Daniel Faust, Book 1
- By: Craig Schaefer
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,565
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,446
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,446
Nobody knows the seedy underbelly of Las Vegas like Daniel Faust, a sorcerer for hire and ex-gangster who uses black magic and bullets to solve his clients' problems. When an old man comes seeking vengeance for his murdered granddaughter, what looks like a simple job quickly spirals out of control. Soon Daniel stands in the crossfire between a murderous porn director; a corrupt cop with a quick trigger finger; and his own former employer, a racket boss who isn't entirely human.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Urban fantasy noir. Done right..
- By Cliff on 02-19-15
By: Craig Schaefer
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NOS4A2
- A Novel
- By: Joe Hill
- Narrated by: Kate Mulgrew
- Length: 19 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 17,585
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 16,136
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 16,111
Victoria McQueen has an uncanny knack for finding things: a misplaced bracelet, a missing photograph, answers to unanswerable questions. When she rides her bicycle over the rickety old covered bridge in the woods near her house, she always emerges in the places she needs to be. Vic doesn't tell anyone about her unusual ability, because she knows no one will believe her. She has trouble understanding it herself.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Gripping performance by Kate Mulgrew....
- By Leslie on 05-06-13
By: Joe Hill
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The Hundredth Man
- Carson Ryder/Harry Nautilus #1
- By: Jack Kerley
- Narrated by: Dick Hill
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 128
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 103
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Story4 out of 5 stars 101
When bizarre and cryptic messages are found on a pair of corpses in Mobile, Alabama, junior police detective Carson Ryder and veteran cop Harry Nautilus find themselves in a mysterious public-relations quagmire pitting public safety against office politics. With the body count growing, Ryder must confront his family's terrifying past by seeking advice from his brother, a violent psychopath convicted of similarly heinous crimes.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Definitely a case for Matthew McConnaghey
- By Cheryl on 08-19-14
By: Jack Kerley
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Real Vampires Don't Sparkle
- By: Amy Fecteau
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 17 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 279
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 258
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Story4 out of 5 stars 258
Matheus Taylor didn't ask to be murdered. To be fair, the percentage of people actually asking to be murdered is probably small enough to be safely ignored, but he felt it was worth stating regardless. His life might have been ordinary, but it was his life and he wasn't done with it yet. Quin didn't care. A 1,700-year-old Roman, Quintus Livius Saturnius had a different view of morality than most people. Killing Matheus and hijacking his undead existence seemed perfectly acceptable to him.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not sure if it's the narrator or just bad writing
- By MD on 06-20-17
By: Amy Fecteau
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Dark Room Etiquette
- By: Robin Roe
- Narrated by: Andrew J. Andersen
- Length: 12 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 105
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 89
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 89
Sixteen-year-old Sayers Wayte has everything. Popularity, good looks, perfect grades—there's nothing Sayers' family money can't buy. Until he's kidnapped by a man who tells him the privileged life he's been living is based on a lie. Trapped in a windowless room, without knowing why he's been taken or how long the man plans to keep him shut away, Sayers faces a terrifying new reality. To survive, he must forget the world he once knew, and play the part his abductor has created for him.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Absolutely brilliant
- By Shelley on 01-20-23
By: Robin Roe
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Learning to Swear in America
- By: Katie Kennedy
- Narrated by: Aaron Landon
- Length: 8 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 75
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 68
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Story4 out of 5 stars 68
An asteroid is hurtling toward Earth. A big, bad one. Maybe not kill-all-the-dinosaurs bad but at least kill-everyone-in-California-and-wipe-out-Japan-with-a-tsunami bad. Yuri, a physicist prodigy from Russia, has been recruited to aid NASA as they calculate a plan to avoid disaster. The good news is Yuri knows how to stop the asteroid - his research in antimatter will probably win him a Nobel Prize if there's ever another Nobel Prize awarded. But the trouble is, even though NASA asked for his help, no one there will listen to him.
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5 out of 5 stars
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An Absolute gem of an audiobook. Well worth buying
- By Amiesbookreviews on 03-30-17
By: Katie Kennedy
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Blackbirds
- Miriam Black, Book 1
- By: Chuck Wendig
- Narrated by: Emily Beresford
- Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 444
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 403
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Story4 out of 5 stars 400
Miriam Black knows when you will die. Still in her early twenties, she’s foreseen hundreds of car crashes, heart attacks, strokes, suicides, and slow deaths by cancer. But when Miriam hitches a ride with truck driver Louis Darling and shakes his hand, she sees that in thirty days he will be gruesomely murdered while he calls her name. Miriam has given up trying to save people; that only makes their deaths happen. No matter what she does, she can’t save Louis. But if she wants to stay alive, she’ll have to try.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not for the faint of heart or kids but exciting
- By Steph on 04-07-14
By: Chuck Wendig
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The List
- By: J. A. Konrath
- Narrated by: Benjamin L. Darcie
- Length: 8 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,384
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,214
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,210
They are ten strangers with one thing in common: A mysterious tattoo on the bottom of their feet. None of them know how it got there or what it means. One of them is a homicide cop who’s determined to find out. All of them are marked for death - because they’re next on...The List. The explosive thriller from bestselling author J.A. Konrath, The List takes you deep inside a top-secret techno-conspiracy that’s too shocking to comprehend, too insidious to detect, and far too powerful to stop....
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4 out of 5 stars
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Better than expected
- By Sammie on 07-19-19
By: J. A. Konrath
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The Last Policeman
- The Last Policeman, Book 1
- By: Ben H. Winters
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,973
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,782
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,777
What’s the point in solving murders if we’re all going to die soon, anyway? Detective Hank Palace has faced this question ever since asteroid 2011GV1 hovered into view. There’s no chance left. No hope. Just six precious months until impact. The economy spirals downward while crops rot in the fields. Churches and synagogues are packed. People all over the world are walking off the job—but not Hank Palace. He’s investigating a death by hanging in a city that sees a dozen suicides every week—except this one feels suspicious, and Palace is the only cop who cares.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Not your regular mystery
- By Victor @ theAudiobookBlog dot com on 09-20-16
By: Ben H. Winters
What listeners say about So You Had to Build a Time Machine
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Ijw
- 08-18-20
ugh
characters that I liked and a plot that you expect from a time travel book where things are confusing until finally you get the gist of the thread. That part was fine. Well written.
but then it had to turn into a bloody horror movie. So I deserted it because it deserved it.
it's a pity but I don't trust this author to read any more of his books.
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