Shields of Phlegm
When Threatened, We Need a Few Good Men or Maybe Just One Heroic Sheep
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Shields of Phlegm
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Narrated by:
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Jack Nolan
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By:
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G. Ernest Smith
About this listen
PHLEGM is not one of those acronyms that just rolls off the tongue. It tends to stick in the throat. But it's easier to say than Planetary Hub Law Enforcement Group - Monroe Division. PHLEGM is an important unit, doing an important job. Members of this group are called shields and they patrol Monroe Station, a huge orbital community in Earth's influence. This story is about one of those shields. His name is Levi, and he's trying to fit into a human world as best he can. Levi is a sheep, but not just any sheep, he's a fearsome quad ram, specially modified genetically for law enforcement.
Levi and his human partners Bud Havoc and Marty Boher get a call to go down to a small town called Harry-Hurt-His-Toe in the university district of Monroe Station. There they find a madman ransacking an office and screaming about an ancient prophecy of doom. Havoc approaches the man but he has protection, a 500 pound gorilla. Levi is able to dispatch the gorilla, allowing his partners to subdue the man and take him downtown to booking.
They listen to the man's rantings. The end is near, he says, as foretold by the Book of Trudy and only the Eye of Nigel can save them. The madman is released, but he continues to make trouble all over Monroe Station. Levi doesn't put much credence in the prophecy of doom, but then he discovers there are missing PHARTs (Planetary Hub Armed Recon Teams). Three have disappeared in two weeks while on patrol. When he meets a recon commander, he finds out that it's worse than they thought. There are now many more PHARTs missing. Something is happening out on the perimeter. Something sinister. Can it be stopped?
What's a sheep to do?
©2015 G. Ernest Smith (P)2016 G. Ernest SmithListeners also enjoyed...
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-
Superheroes
- By: Peter S. Beagle, Daryl Gregory, James Patrick Kelly, and others
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman, Joe Barrett, Christina Delaine, and others
- Length: 17 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 169
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 149
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Story4 out of 5 stars 148
Modern gods and goddesses, remote, revered - and like the pantheon of heroes and heroines of ancient myth - possessing great power tempered with flaws. Now, find within this anthology great tales by gifted and award-winning authors who move superheroes from the four-color panels of comic books to the fantastic pages of fiction, stories that will remind anyone who ever wanted to wear a cape or don a cowl of the extraordinary powers of the imagination!
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1 out of 5 stars
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Pretentious tired old concepts
- By BookofJoy on 12-29-14
By: Peter S. Beagle, and others
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The Big Over Easy
- A Nursery Crime
- By: Jasper Fforde
- Narrated by: Simon Prebble
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,284
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 821
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 823
It's Easter in Reading, a bad time for eggs, and no one can remember the last sunny day. Ovoid D-class nursery celebrity Humpty Stuyvesant Van Dumpty III, minor baronet, ex-convict, and former millionaire philanthropist, is found shattered to death beneath a wall in a shabby area of town. All the evidence points to his ex-wife, who has conveniently shot herself.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Total Whimsy
- By Bruce Sabin on 08-10-05
By: Jasper Fforde
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Orbital Decay
- By: Allen Steele
- Narrated by: Jonathan Yen
- Length: 13 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 76
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 67
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 67
The award-winning, bestselling author's first novel. The beamjacks work in zero-gravity constructing satellites in the vacuum of deepest space. And they're not going to let the military control them anymore.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Hard to follow
- By Don on 12-27-16
By: Allen Steele
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Death Becomes Her [Dramatized Adaptation]
- The Kurtherian Gambit, Book 1
- By: Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: full cast, Colleen Delany, Emily Beresford, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 16 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 245
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 222
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 222
There is more in our world than you know. Deep in the darkness of a government building, one man needs to find the perfect solution to a vampire’s request that the government satisfy the debt of honor owed him. If he falls short, the failure will be paid in the blood of the military. He needs three uniquely qualified individuals. He can find only one. One woman, dying, might be the ace-in-the-hole he needs to appease the Vampire. But then, she might also be the one person needed to save humanity. If she is accepted, will she willingly change?
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5 out of 5 stars
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great adaptation
- By Michael Mason on 11-02-20
By: Michael Anderle
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Mechanical Failure
- Epic Failure, Book 1
- By: Joe Zieja
- Narrated by: Joe Zieja
- Length: 10 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 462
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 422
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 421
The 200 years' (and counting) peace was a time of tranquility that hasn't been seen since...well, ever. Mankind in the Galactic Age had finally conquered war, so what was left for the military to do but drink and barbecue? That's the kind of military that Sergeant R. Wilson Rogers lived in before he left the fleet to become a smuggler. But it turns out that smuggling is hard. Like getting-arrested-for-dealing-with-pirates-and-forced-back-into-service kind of hard.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This book helped save my job!
- By John David Akers on 07-19-16
By: Joe Zieja
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Off to Be the Wizard
- Magic 2.0, Book 1
- By: Scott Meyer
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 10 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 31,402
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 28,904
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 28,897
It's a simple story. Boy finds proof that reality is a computer program. Boy uses program to manipulate time and space. Boy gets in trouble. Boy flees back in time to Medieval England to live as a wizard while he tries to think of a way to fix things. Boy gets in more trouble. Oh, and boy meets girl at some point.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hang in there
- By Kelly on 03-04-17
By: Scott Meyer
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The Sheriff of Yrnameer
- A Novel
- By: Michael Rubens
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 246
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 147
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Story4 out of 5 stars 151
Meet Cole: hapless space rogue, part-time smuggler, on a path to being full-time dead. His sidekick just stole his girlfriend. The galaxy's most hideous and feared bounty hunter wants to lay eggs in his brain. And the luxury space yacht Cole just hijacked turns out of be filled with interstellar do-gooders, one especially loathsome stowaway, and a cargo of freeze-dried orphans.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fun, Light-hearted SF
- By Martin Moore on 08-30-09
By: Michael Rubens
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Necropolis
- By: Michael Dempsey
- Narrated by: Kevin T. Collins
- Length: 13 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 173
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 158
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 158
NYPD detective Paul Donner and his wife Elise were killed in a hold-up gone wrong. Fifty years later, Donner is back: revived courtesy of the Shift. Supposedly the unintended side-effect of a botched biological terrorist attack and carried by a ubiquitous retrovirus, the Shift jump-starts dead DNA and throws the life cycle into reverse, so reborns like Donner must cope with the fact that they are not only slowly youthing toward a new childhood, but have become New York's most hated minority.
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5 out of 5 stars
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'Necropolis' Rocked My World
- By HEIDI on 01-19-12
By: Michael Dempsey
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The Ark
- Children of a Dead Earth, Book 1
- By: Patrick S. Tomlinson
- Narrated by: Mirron Willis
- Length: 11 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 661
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 614
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Story4 out of 5 stars 613
Humankind has escaped a dying Earth and set out to find a new home among the stars aboard an immense generation ship affectionately named the Ark. Bryan Benson is the Ark's greatest living sports hero, enjoying retirement working as a detective in Avalon, his home module. The hours are good, the work is easy, and the perks can't be beat. But when a crew member goes missing, Bryan is thrust into the center of an ever-expanding web of deception, secrets, and violence.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Nearly there
- By Michaela on 05-11-16
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Astro-Nuts
- By: Logan J. Hunder
- Narrated by: Christopher Lane
- Length: 10 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 175
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 161
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 160
Never meddle with unidentified spying objects...The year is: The Future. Mars and Earth are like that divorced couple who don’t exactly like each other but have at least stopped fighting in public. Floating somewhere in between them, amid all the garbage and Gene Roddenberry’s ashes, a transport vessel called the SS Jefferson is homeward bound. Its crew might have even made it on time for once, too...
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1 out of 5 stars
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Gave up at 1hr and 33 minutes
- By Moondog on 11-28-19
By: Logan J. Hunder
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METAtropolis
- By: Jay Lake, Tobias Buckell, Elizabeth Bear, and others
- Narrated by: Michael Hogan, Scott Brick, Kandyse McClure, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,900
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 2,011
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Story4 out of 5 stars 2,028
Armed camps of eco-survivalists battle purveyors of technology in this exclusive, original production featuring five sci-fi masters and five all-star narrators.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not a wasted credit
- By james on 10-27-08
By: Jay Lake, and others
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The Punch Escrow
- By: Tal M. Klein
- Narrated by: Matthew Mercer
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,381
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,198
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Story4 out of 5 stars 2,196
Joel Byram is an everyday 22nd century guy. He spends his days training artificial-intelligence engines to act more human, jamming out to 1980s new wave - an extremely obscure genre - and trying to salvage his deteriorating marriage. Joel is pretty much an everyday guy with everyday problems - until he's accidentally duplicated while teleporting. Now Joel must outsmart the shadowy organization that controls teleportation, outrun the religious sect out to destroy it, and find a way to get back to the woman he loves.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Great Premise, terrible execution
- By Perfect Tommy on 09-25-17
By: Tal M. Klein
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Singularity Sky
- By: Charles Stross
- Narrated by: George Guidall
- Length: 13 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 550
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 415
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Story4 out of 5 stars 418
In the 21st century, the perfection of faster-than-light travel and the rise of a prodigious artificial intelligence known as the Eschaton altered the course of humankind. New civilizations were founded across the vastness of space. Now, the technology-eschewing world known as the New Republic is besieged by an alien information plague. Earth quickly sends a battle fleet - but is it coming to the rescue, or is a sinister plot in motion?
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4 out of 5 stars
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Gonzo giggleworthy geekitude
- By Noah Smith on 11-11-10
By: Charles Stross
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Learning to Swear in America
- By: Katie Kennedy
- Narrated by: Aaron Landon
- Length: 8 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 75
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 68
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Story4 out of 5 stars 68
An asteroid is hurtling toward Earth. A big, bad one. Maybe not kill-all-the-dinosaurs bad but at least kill-everyone-in-California-and-wipe-out-Japan-with-a-tsunami bad. Yuri, a physicist prodigy from Russia, has been recruited to aid NASA as they calculate a plan to avoid disaster. The good news is Yuri knows how to stop the asteroid - his research in antimatter will probably win him a Nobel Prize if there's ever another Nobel Prize awarded. But the trouble is, even though NASA asked for his help, no one there will listen to him.
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5 out of 5 stars
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An Absolute gem of an audiobook. Well worth buying
- By Amiesbookreviews on 03-30-17
By: Katie Kennedy
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Nightshades
- A Paranormal Thriller (Nightshades, Book 1)
- By: Melissa F. Olson
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 4 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 342
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 301
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Story4 out of 5 stars 299
Alex McKenna is the new Special Agent in Charge of the Chicago office of the Bureau of Preternatural Investigations - the division tasked with investigating crimes involving shades. Or vampires, as they're more widely known. Children have been going missing, and agents are routinely being slaughtered. It's up to McKenna, and some unlikely allies, to get to the bottom of the problem, and find the kids before it's too late.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Fun, with enough novelty to be interesting
- By S. Yates on 01-27-18
By: Melissa F. Olson
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The Eyre Affair
- A Thursday Next Novel
- By: Jasper Fforde
- Narrated by: Susan Duerden
- Length: 12 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,723
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,197
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Story4 out of 5 stars 2,198
In Jasper Fforde's Great Britain, circa 1985, time travel is routine, cloning is a reality (dodos are the resurrected pet of choice), and literature is taken very, very seriously. England is a virtual police state where an aunt can get lost (literally) in a Wordsworth poem and forging Byronic verse is a punishable offense. All this is business as usual for Thursday Next, renowned Special Operative in literary detection.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Worthy Read
- By chicagoalum on 01-21-10
By: Jasper Fforde
What listeners say about Shields of Phlegm
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
- Ramona Guerrero
- 09-21-16
Spooftacular
I really enjoyed this story! I loved the commentary on modern life with Smith's subtle and not so subtle imagery. This was my first try at listening to an audio book, and I am very glad that it turned out to be a fun and hilarious story to listen to!
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