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Second Hand Curses
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello, Marc Vietor, Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 9 hrs
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Publisher's summary
When your fairy godmother threatens to enslave you with a curse - when a malevolent piper solves your rat problem but steals your children - when you seek revenge on the prince who turned you into a frog - who can you turn to in your hour of need? The band of scoundrels known far and wide as the Bastard Champions - the swashbuckling trio who travel a world of legend, seeking adventure and righting wrongs - as long as there's enough gold to be earned. They are Jack, the seemingly unkillable leader whose ever-present grin belies a dark past; Marie, who fights with fury but battles more fiercely to control the beast within; and Frank, the master of logistics, whose cloak hides horrific scars that are far more than skin-deep. As they slash and scheme through kingdom and village alike, the Bastard Champions uncover tantalizing clues to their ultimate quarry: the powerful Blue Fairy, who has made each of their lives a living hell.
Second Hand Curses adds a dash of sly wit and a heaping portion of action to the fairy tales you thought you knew.
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Buy this story!!!
- By wlantz on 11-02-16
By: Brian D. Anderson, and others
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Thornbear
- Champions of the Dawning Dragons, Book 1
- By: Michael G. Manning
- Narrated by: Derek Perkins
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Gram lives in the long shadow cast by his father, the late hero Dorian Thornbear. Struggling to find his place in a world where politics and wizardry appear to have replaced the need for men of might and main, he must make his own mark. Trapped within the seemingly safe confines of Castle Cameron, Gram faces both love and tragedy. His choices will not only define himself but serve to remind others of his family's legacy and the reason only a fool threatens those a Thornbear protects.
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An excellent story by an exceptional author
- By JW on 02-28-15
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The Infernal City
- Elder Scrolls Series #1
- By: Greg Keyes
- Narrated by: Michael Page
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Four decades after the Oblivion Crisis, Tamriel is threatened anew by an ancient and all-consuming evil. It is Umbriel, a floating city that casts a terrifying shadow-for wherever it falls, people die and rise again. And it is in Umbriel's shadow that a great adventure begins and a group of unlikely heroes meet. A legendary prince with a secret. A spy on the trail of a vast conspiracy. A mage obsessed with his desire for revenge. And Annaïg, a young girl in whose hands the fate of Tamriel may rest.
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Umbriel is coming
- By Brenden Zapp on 02-01-13
By: Greg Keyes
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The Jewel of Dantenos
- Lee Starfinder Adventure: From the World of the Godling Chronicles, Book 0.5
- By: Brian D. Anderson
- Narrated by: Derek Perkins
- Length: 1 hr and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Filled with confidence and no small measure of arrogance, young Lee Starfinder and Millet Gristall set off on their very first adventure. Lee quickly discovers that life beyond Hazrah can be far deadlier than he could have ever imagined. And soon he must learn that muscle and steel cannot replace loyalty, bravery, and friendship.
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A fine example of a short story
- By Amazon Customer on 01-19-22
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Pathfinder Tales: Liar's Bargain
- A Novel
- By: Tim Pratt
- Narrated by: Steve West
- Length: 10 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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For charming con man Rodrick and his talking sword, Hrym, life is all about taking what you can and getting away clean. But when the pair are arrested in the crusader nation of Lastwall, Rodrick faces immediate execution, with Hrym spending the rest of eternity trapped in an enchanted scabbard. Their only hope lies in a secret government program in which captured career criminals are teamed up and sent on suicide missions too sensitive for ordinary soldiers.
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thumbs way up
- By Eladar on 08-26-16
By: Tim Pratt
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Awaken
- The Mortal Mage, Book 1
- By: B. T. Narro
- Narrated by: Simon Vance
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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Desil has spent his life training, but a promise to his mother has kept him from using his abilities for anything worthwhile. Now all he does is help his mother manage her tavern as his father rests in a grave. Desil knows there's at least one other mage somewhere in this territory who can do what he can; they share a connection through their magic, although they've never met. He stays up nights wondering what they might be able to accomplish together.
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My First Return
- By Kyle the Professional Audible User on 01-24-18
By: B. T. Narro
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Brimstone Angels
- A Forgotten Realms Novel
- By: Erin M. Evans
- Narrated by: Dina Pearlman
- Length: 13 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Rejected at birth and raised in a village of tiefling misfits, Farideh expects a life without friends, love, or control over her destiny. Then she makes a pact with a devil named Lorcan, and everything changes. Lorcan promises all she ever dreamed of and asks for nothing in return. Her twin sister Havilar urges Farideh to resist the devil’s sway. But Farideh’s not so sure. Lorcan may be dangerous but the power he offers is exhilarating.
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I think I would have loved this when I was 13
- By C2 on 10-29-20
By: Erin M. Evans
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Rune Gate Cycle: Omnibus
- By: Mark E. Cooper
- Narrated by: Mikael Naramore
- Length: 16 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Alexandra Yorke was a top police clairvoyant, but years of living inside the heads of serial killers has taken its toll. Unable to control her gifts, she retreats from the world, but a few months of peace is all she has before a friend calls in need of help.
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Criminally underrated
- By Mr. King on 10-21-24
By: Mark E. Cooper
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The Affiliate
- By: K.A. Linde
- Narrated by: Erin Mallon
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
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On the day of her Presenting, in front of the entire Byern Court, 17-year-old Cyrene Strohm's lifelong plans come to fruition when she's chosen for one of the most prestigious positions in her homeland - an Affiliate to the Queen. Or so she thinks. When Cyrene receives a mysterious letter and an unreadable book, she finds nothing is as it seems.
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Not a fan of Narrator
- By Priscilla on 05-25-17
By: K.A. Linde
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New Spring
- The Wheel of Time Prequel
- By: Robert Jordan
- Narrated by: Kate Reading, Michael Kramer
- Length: 12 hrs and 38 mins
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For three days battle has raged in the snow around the great city of Tar Valon. In the city, a foretelling of the future is uttered. On the slopes of Dragonmount, the immense mountain that looms over the city, a child is born, an infant prophesied to change the world. That child must be found before he can be killed by the forces of the Shadow.
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Read it after reading others in the series
- By Stacy Fair on 12-13-07
By: Robert Jordan
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Thinblade
- Sovereign of the Seven Isles, Book 1
- By: David A. Wells
- Narrated by: Derek Perkins
- Length: 18 hrs and 14 mins
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When second son Alexander Valentine loses his brother to an assassin's arrow, he discovers that his family protects an ancient secret and reluctantly finds himself at the center of the final battle of a war that was supposed to have ended two thousand years ago. Pursued by the dark minions of an ancient enemy, Alexander flees to the mountain city of Glen Morillian where he discovers that he is the heir to the throne of Ruatha, one of the Seven Isles, but before he can claim the throne he must recover the ancient Thinblade.
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Worst Book I've Ever Listened To or Read
- By Samantha S on 11-29-16
By: David A. Wells
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The Sword-Edged Blonde
- By: Alex Bledsoe
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 8 hrs and 28 mins
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It should have been a case like any other: a missing princess, a king willing to pay in gold for her return. But before he realizes it, private investigator Eddie LaCrosse, a slightly shopworn sword jockey with a talent for discretion and detection, is swept up in a web of mystery and deceit involving a brutally murdered royal heir, a queen accused of an unspeakable crime, and the tragic past he thought he'd left behind.
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No Redeeming Qualities
- By MightyMite68 on 09-27-20
By: Alex Bledsoe
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The Black River Chronicles, Level One
- By: David Tallerman, Michael Wills, Digital Fiction
- Narrated by: Alan Ross
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Three months into his studies at the Black River Academy of Swordcraft and Spellcraft, Durren Flintrand is shocked by the news that from now on he'll be assigned to a party and that his only hope of progressing beyond the lowly rank of level one is to succeed with his new companions. However, Durren has a secret that may make that impossible, and his three partners have problems of their own.
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what the heck?
- By Stew on 07-11-19
By: David Tallerman, and others
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In October of 2013, Drew Hayes began posting a story to his website. Written over the thirteen days leading up to Halloween, when each chapter ended the next step was chosen by the readers. Sometimes this led to great discoveries and triumphs, other paths led to Dead Ends, though even in those there was much to be gleaned. For ten years, this tradition occurred, until in the year of 2022, the readers chose a finale. This is their story: a tale of deaths and decisions that spanned a decade.
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Echo in Onyx
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The collection begins with "The Ghost of Hooker Alley," which introduces listeners to 10-year-old Sarah and six-year-old Tommy. After a quick bus ride into town to buy a gun, Sarah and Tommy think their problems are all but solved. That is, until a creepy weirdo follows them into an alley. But they aren't the only ones in that alley.... "The Monkey's Penis" features Chris, a teenage boy who receives a birthday gift unlike any other. In "Gary's Children," a man's quest for stress relief leads to terror, and an unexpected kidnapping takes place in "Aliens Wrecked Our Kegger."
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Whether he’s underwriting for an overlord, or wearing a pocket protector in a pocket universe, Tom Stranger has just one policy: providing Quality Customer Service. No alien menace is too menacing, no galactic rift too rifty for the multiverse’s most-trusted Interdimensional Insurance Agent in these three brand-new adventures and two classic escapades.
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Just finished my second listen
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Hulde is a queen’s daughter and lives in a palace. But her life is lonely. Growing up atop the glass mountain, she knows only her violent and autocratic mother and a household of terrified servants. Then a white bear named Rune comes to visit, and Hulde learns what kindness is. But the queen has a plan for Hulde. When she turns 16, she will wed the most beautiful man in all the world. Hulde has never met her intended husband, and her mother refuses to explain the arrangement.
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If you like Marillier, you'll like this book.
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Chilling Reflections
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With her new product line launched and an updated version of her suit to test, Tori Rivas is ready to focus on her work for a while. But when an eruption of power elsewhere in the multiverse sends monsters bursting into her world, the young villain will find herself in the crosshairs of an unexpected invader.
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The Rules of Supervillainy
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Gary Karkofsky is an ordinary guy with an ordinary life living in an extraordinary world. Supervillains, heroes, and monsters are a common part of the world he inhabits. Yet, after the death of his hometown's resident superhero, he gains the amazing gift of the late champion's magical cloak. Deciding he prefers to be rich rather than good, Gary embarks on a career as Merciless: The Supervillain Without Mercy. But is he evil enough to be a villain in America's most crime-ridden city?
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Use My Powers for Wha???
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Andrea Vernon and the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection
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Andrea Vernon always thought she would spend her life living in Paris writing thought-provoking historical novels all day and sipping wine on the Seine all night. But the reality is she's drowning in debt, has no prospects, and is forced to move back to Queens, where her parents remind her daily that they are very interested in grandchildren. Then, one morning, she is kidnapped, interviewed, and hired as an administrative assistant by the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection. Superheroes for hire, using their powers for good. What could possibly go wrong?
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A Normal Life in an Abnormal World
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Bedtime Stories for Cynics
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Are the kids asleep? Yes? Good. This one isn’t for them. Now, if your weary, grown-up mind has been searching for a snarkier alternative to your favorite childhood tales, this Audible Original, hosted by Nick Offerman (Parks & Recreation), will scratch that itch - and then some. Enjoy a hilarious collection of short stories, featuring performances from the likes of Tommy Chong (Cheech & Chong), Tony Hale (Veep), Patton Oswalt (The Goldbergs), and David Spade (Saturday Night Live).
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It's Just...Alright.
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What listeners say about Second Hand Curses
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- bebe
- 01-21-19
A wonderful surprise
I did not know anything about this author or this book when I purchased it from Audible. I am so glad that I chose it. Listening was a wonderful surprise. It was immensely entertaining from the very beginning. The author spins new stories from some of my favorite fairy tales. The spinoffs are much more imaginative than the originals and are funny and somewhat twisted, which makes them more fun. The three main characters, Jack, Frank and Marie, are magnificent. Drew Hayes creates captivating personalities for the three. Each is very different and are quite unique.
The book reveals the story through chapters that are fairly self contained, yet the chapters are connected and move us toward the three main characters search for the Blue Fairy. Jack is a lovable, carefree constantly smiling scoundrel. He is inordinately pleased to be a scoundrel. Jack is immortal, as long as he has money. Frank is animated, but he is not alive. Think of Frankenstein. He is measured, thoughtful, intelligent and adores children. He will do what it takes to protect children. There is a reason for that trait. Marie is a lovely Princess, but is cursed to turn into a huge killing monster when she gets angry. She is searching for a cure for the curse. The Blue Fairy, who is exceedingly powerful, can cure her and can help the two men with their issues, but they cannot find her. In the final chapter things come to a head at a proposed wedding. The book does not leave the listener hanging, but does leave room for a sequel.
Now for the best part - the narration by Scott Aiello, Marc Vietor and Tavia Gilbert. They are all three perfect for this story. What a marvelous treat!!! These three talents take a wonderfully written story and bring it to life. Fantastic choices. I hope there is a sequel and I hope that these three narrators are chosen to perform. I will certainly purchase that sequel as soon as it becomes available.
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10 people found this helpful
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- Robin A.
- 10-05-18
The Narrative
I thought this book would be corny, but Audible Only books usually are some of the best, so I took a chance. I loved this book. It was funny, the characters were engaging and layered, the story and flashbacks were perfectly timed and layed out. The concept of the "narrative" along with the other philosophical concepts and questions raised in this book was done seamlessly. the full cast of narrators enhanced the book adding to its enjoyment tremendously. If you want a light hearted but thoughtful book full of suprises, fun, and a good old fashioned quest - then get this book.
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6 people found this helpful
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- Lost In The Wash
- 01-23-19
A Shining Example For Fantasy & Audio Books
I cannot remember how this book came to my attention. The genre is too hit-or-miss for me, and the Publisher’s Summary did little to distinguish itself. It was the audio sample that sold me, and I am very glad for its enchanting qualities. This book is great! Drew Hayes crafts a marvelous tale and world, with just the right degree of mystery. However, the narrators and production quality REALLY make this an amazing listen. Audiobooks like this are examples of how this format can be unique and delightful in ways traditional books cannot. I look forward to the sequel and this team working together again soon. Also, I really liked that it was only 9 hours long, as it allows for a tighter and richer story without the verboseness that stifles most fantasy novels.
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5 people found this helpful
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- Kindle Customer
- 07-22-18
A tail as old as time
The plot line has some cool moments but lacks the usually originality and interesting characters as other drew Hayes books
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- Jenna Ward
- 08-06-18
Charming book, and a new favorite!
I am so grateful that I stumbled across Drew Hayes in a previous sale on Audible. I had a great experience with his book called NPCs and Second Hand Curses is a new favorite for sure! The narrators did a fantastic job bringing this tale to life and it felt like it went by so quick, I was enjoying myself so much! The characters are fascinating takes on some fairy tales or stories we have already heard and the way their origins and the larger plot is woven through the episodic nature of the jobs in the early book is masterful. I honestly wish I could give this more than five stars, I was so pleased! Cannot recommend enough if you like any sort of twists on fairy tales or just want to smile at some new takes on old stories!
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3 people found this helpful
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- Brian
- 09-24-18
Twistedly Wonderful!
I love a good twisted fairy tale, so when I get an entire book of them with a common theme and set of characters that unifies it, I'm more than happy. And in true Drew Hayes fashion, the story does not disappoint. Bravo! I look forward to another book from Drew soon!
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- Laura
- 01-03-18
Really really GOOD!!!!
A amazing telling and weaving together of fairytales. I hope and can’t wait for a sequel.
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- Callistrotta Vici
- 08-06-18
Unique twist on classic tales
Second Hand Curses is an excellently written book that is perfect for anyone who is fond of classic fairy tales with dark twists
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- Nupalie M
- 01-30-18
absolutely wonderful in plot and narration.
Exceeds my expectations.Hayes Fred series was OK but this is seriously excellent. great character development. highly original plot compelling narration. can't wait for more.
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- Eni
- 07-11-18
Pretty Good!
Again Drew Hayes has created an interesting, fun story that is easy to pick up.
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