Screwed

A V-Card Diaries Novel

By: Lili Valente

Narrated by: Jason Clarke, Lili Valente

My best friend’s older brother excels at many things—being a bossy grump, a jerk, and...this hopeless virgin's fake fiancé?

I need a guy who understands that this is all pretend, and who better than a man who can't stand me—and vice versa? Besides, Derrick is the kind of cocky, confident, successful dude-bro my gram will adore.

We'll convince my ailing grandmother I’m not going to die alone, Derrick will honor that favor he owes me, and we'll part ways as enemies with no benefits.

It’s a rock-solid plan...until it isn’t.

Turns out I may have made a slight miscalculation.

Now Derrick is charming my family, sweeping me off my feet, and making me want crazy things.

Suddenly, I think I might actually want him to be my first and maybe...my only?

Yeah, I’m screwed.

So bleeping screwed.

This audiobook contains the bonus prequel novella 10,000 Things I Hate About You, Derrick and Harlow's origin story!

©2022 Lili Valente (P)2022 Lili Valente

Fun and Flirty!

“Screwed” is a fun, flirty and steamy best friends brother rom com that had me laughing out loud one moment and swooning the next.

Harlow and Derek have been frenemies for a long time. Harlow is Evie’s best friend and Derek has always seen her as another little sister. When he gives her a ride upstate for her family vacation, Harlow asks him to be her fake boyfriend. He ups the ante and agrees to be her fake fiancé. But the two have had feelings for each other and those feelings come to light during the week together.

I loved Harlow and Derek together. They are both smart, witty, and genuine. Both are close to certain family members, Derek with his sister and Harlow with her grandma. Those relationships are a big part of who they are and bring them together. Derek is a great guy and you can’t help falling for him. Harlow is a great friend and someone you want in your corner.

Lili Valente and Jason Clarke did an AMAZING job narrating them. Lili narrating her own work brings something special to the audiobook. She knows these characters and it shows in her performance. And I love Jason anytime I get to listen to him. His gruffy voice is always so nice to listen to.

best friends brother

Jason Clarke was perfect for Derrick his voice is pure $3x appeal. I love that Lili Valentini narrated her own book. These two together really brought Harlow and Derrick to life and made you invested in their relationship.

Harlow and Derrick’s Story is A Delicious Delight

This is a fun, flirty and steamy best friend's brother rom-com that had me laughing out loud one moment then swooning the next it will appeal to all fans of enemies to lovers or fake fiancé stories. It's a delicious delight of a feel-good and funny romance. Harlow and Derrick agree to pretend to be engaged, they supposedly don't like each other and think there's no danger of them falling for each other during the week they are to spend together, but they're wrong, even though they try to deny their new feelings they can't deny the chemistry they share it's palpable, steamy and passionate. You get a real sense of Harlow’s fear of falling in love but somehow it happened anyway!

The narration by Lili Valente and Jason Clarke is wonderfully done, they bring these two characters to life making you feel their chemistry. Jason did a great job portraying Derrick and Cameron whilst Lili as Harlow was perfect. I loved their duet style narration.

I was given this audiobook as a gift and am voluntarily writing my review.

All the sweet and sexy swoons

This is a little sister’s best friend virgin swoon worthy tale. It’s about trusting your heart and your instincts instead of relying only on fear and logic. This is a duet narration and it is amazing. Lili Valente makes a perfect sassy Harlow and Jason Clarke’s growly voice is just how I imagined Derrick. Their combined talents add a richer dimension to an already phenomenal story. Harlow is working on her master’s in accounting and living with her three best friends. She is rabidly opposed and afraid of falling for the wrong man whose love will destroy her dreams. Derrick works for the local professional hockey team and is the older brother of Harlow’s best friend. There was a cringe worthy interaction 6 years ago when Harlow asked Derrick to be her first and he told her no. Since then, they’ve been frenemies but when Harlow asks Derrick to be her fake fiancée to make her grandmother happy during a family reunion, their very real and sizzling chemistry makes the lines between fake and real get very blurry and things get complicated fast. The book has a little bit of everything - sweet moments, steamy scenes, strong friendships, supportive family, laughs, painful pasts, and all the heart squeezing love. Experiencing the journey of Derrick and Harlow as they fall in love and work through their individual issues gave me all the feels - you will laugh, cry, swoon, grind your teeth, cheer, and happy sigh. This story includes three dimensional characters who grow, witty dialogue, and an engaging storyline with light angst. I am excited to read what happens for the other two virgin roommates. I willingly reviewed an early copy of this book.

DNF - not a bad story just not what I wanted

Beware:Spoilers!

I don't typically write reviews but I am 2 hours away from finishing this and I just can't.

I LOVE sexy smut as much as the next girl but cheese and crackers the main female character, Harlow, goes from being a virgin to a complete sex addict in the span of a couple of hours/days. Maybe it's because I have never experienced that level of constantly needed to be having sex every waking moment but after so many rounds I begin to wonder what keeps her going.

For example: we will be in a scene where her climax has reached new heights and she is ready and rearing to go like minutes later wanting to try another position like she needs to complete the kama sutra before her week with Derreck is over.

I don't know about anyone else, but typically "best sex of my life" leaves a person pretty spent and exhausted. Apparently this isn't her case.

I did however enjoy that Derreck, the main male character, is pretty forthcoming with his feelings as he readily admits he wants more. It was a nice change of pace that the guy wanted something more serious than the girl was looking for.

I don't know what I wanted from this story but I know that I am struggling to finish it. Like I am sure it has a happy ending and all but where I am at now is virtually unbearable to listen to.

P.S. voice actors did a great job, it was just the content of the story that I found annoying and bothersome. I think I was looking for a true enemies-to-lovers story which are typically more dark and actually feels like enemies not this type of psuedo-enemy.

A swoony & sweet rom-com

Screwed is the second book in Lili Valente’s V-Card Diaries series. It is a hilariously sweet, rom-com that captivated me from beginning to end. This story is an enemies to lovers, best friends-brother and fake relationship romance.

Derrick is Evie’s older brother, whom was introduced in Scored. He and Harlow (Evie’s best friend) had a real hate to love vibe going on strong near the end of that book and I was eager to find out more behind the reason why. Derrick is an over-protective big brother to Evie. He is also the serious, moody-broody type. His relationship with Harlow is a complicated one, but there is no denying the strong attraction they have for one another. The tension, and steam between them was explosive.

Harlow is a twenty-four year old virgin. She has had a string of unsuccessful relationships. Harlow is sassy, quirky and sweet. She is eager to find a man to loose her v-card to. One that can be a quick hookup with no strings attached as she wants to dispel the theory that the man she looses her v-card to will become her life long partner.

Harlow’s Grams is in poor health so she comes up with the crazy plan to have Derrick pose as her fake fiancé at a family reunion. The two have been able to keep their distance over the years, but now that they are going to be in such close proximity to the other, while they fake being in a relationship together will change everything.

This story is fast paced and highly addictive, I couldn’t get enough of these characters, the hilarious antics, family dynamic and steamy chemistry between Harlow and Derrick.

I love that Lili narrates her own audiobooks. Her voice exudes passion for her characters, and she played the sarcastic, and sweet sides to Harlow perfectly. Jason Clarke was fantastic as Derrick. His voice is equally gruff and growly and his performance as Derrick was spot on. I loved it.

Derrick & Harlow!!! SWOON ♥️

Who doesn’t love an enemies to lovers, fake fiancé, feel good, funny romance. I was so excited to listen to Harlow and Derrick’s story. When they were first introduced in Scored, their intense verbal sparing and undeniable attraction had my interest piqued. Now we get to see how Harlow and Derrick fall for each other while pretending to be engaged and feelings get denied. Their chemistry was passionate and steamy. They tried to keep their feelings bottled up but eventually realized they were each other’s end game. Derrick went from being a bossy, overprotective older brother to sexy, sweet, bossy in the bedroom dreamy hero. I definitely fell for him.
This book was narrated by Lili Valente & Jason Clarke. They did a wonderful job bringing these two characters to life and I enjoyed their chemistry. Jason did a great job portraying Derrick and Cameron. The text exchange between Harlow & Cameron were hilarious and I loved how it was duet style narration. Lili as Harlow was perfect. She captured Harlow’s fear of falling in love with her first, but also how she was sassy and snarky and funny around Derrick and her Grams. Overall, this was an entertaining, cute, funny, steamy romcom. I’m excited to see what happens next with Cameron or Jess in this series!

I adore Jason Clarke as a narrator!

Jason Clarke could read the phone book and make it sound sexy. give him awesome dialogue in a great romance and OMG!!! I loved this audio version!

Enjoyed!

Harlow and Derrick grew up in the same town and Derrick’s little Sister has been, and still is Harlow’s best friend. 8 years her senior, Harlow always had a crush on him and tried to act on it shortly after her 18 birthday. From that day forward, they’ve become “enemies”, only tolerating each other because of Evie. Until… Harlow needs a fake boyfriend and Derrick is the obvious option. What could go wrong? They’re both adults now and have a handle on their feelings. WRONG!
Screwed is a sweet, funny, steamy and swoony story about letting yourself feel the feelings, letting go of the past and showing your vulnerable side. I enjoyed the witty banter and would recommend Screwed to all romcom enthusiasts. The narration is excellent, draws you into the story and allows you to experience it as if you were a part of it!

Adorable rom-com

As a teenager Harlow knew she had a thing for her best friend’s older brother. But that is such a cliché and when she finally tries to make a move on him and he turns her down Harlow is determined to hate Derrick for the rest of her life. But everything changes when their paths cross several years later.
This story is fun and lighthearted with a good amount of romantic will they/won’t they. I would highly recommend it for fans of rom-com.