Scared Selfless

My Journey from Abuse and Madness to Surviving and Thriving

By: Michelle Stevens

Narrated by: Michelle Stevens

Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins

Publisher's summary

Michelle Stevens has a photo of the exact moment her childhood was stolen from her: She's only eight years old, posing for her mother's boyfriend, Gary Lundquist - an elementary school teacher, neighborhood stalwart, and brutal pedophile. Later that night Gary locks Michelle in a cage, tortures her repeatedly, and uses her to quench his voracious and deviant sexual whims. Little does she know that this will become her new reality for the next six years.

Michelle can also pinpoint the moment she reconstituted the splintered pieces of her life: She's in cap and gown, receiving her PhD in psychology - and the university's award for best dissertation.

The distance between these two points is the improbable journey from torture, loss, and mental illness to healing, recovery, and triumph that is Michelle's powerful memoir, Scared Selfless.

Michelle suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and depression and made multiple suicide attempts. She also developed multiple personalities. There was "Chelsey", the rebellious teenager; "Viscous", a tween with homicidal rage; and "Sarah", a sweet little girl who brought her teddy bear on a first date.

In this harrowing tale, Michelle, who was inspired to help others heal by becoming a psychotherapist, sheds light on the all-too-real threat of child sexual abuse, its subsequent psychological effects, and the best methods for victims to overcome their ordeals and, ultimately, thrive. Scared Selfless is both an examination of the extraordinary feats of the mind that are possible in the face of horrific trauma as well as Michelle's courageous testament to their power.

©2017 Michelle Stevens (P)2017 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

"In Scared Selfless, Dr. Michelle Stevens takes readers on a remarkable journey. Her account of childhood trauma - told with candor and, yes, even wit - and how she found the strength and resilience to ultimately recover and triumph is an inspiration not just to other survivors, but to us all. The book is a guide for anybody seeking to overcome challenges and lead a richer and fuller life.” (Arianna Huffington)

"Scared Selfless is a compelling read about choosing your path in life and owning that decision.” (Dr. Phil)

“A beautifully written book…with honesty [and] humor.... Through grit and hard work, what begins as Grand Guignol finishes with a big Hollywood ending.” (Vanity Fair)

Enlightening for victims of child abuse

Michelle's personal account of her abuse and healing process is not only informative, but healing. It helped put pieces of the puzzle together for me of my own PTSD from child sexual abuse.

I highly recommend this book if you have suffered child abuse or are close to someone who has. You'll find it enlightening.

love!!

love!!!! this book promotes self awareness, self love, self acceptance. it is a must read

Hard to stop listening

Michelle Steven’s narrated her own story which is always the best way to get the whole story. As a teacher and a juror in a multiple molestation trial it made me think differently about people I encounter. It has made me a better listener and much less judgmental of the young people I encounter.

A parent’s worst nightmare…

I am a mother who doesn’t trust anyone when it comes to leaving my child alone with an adult and/or teenager. Children are meant to have an actual pure childhood. They are innocent humans learning from those around them. It’s so important to protect your babies and to be their “safe place”. My heart broke for Michelle throughout her entire story but I was eager to know every detail of her abused childhood. A childhood that was stolen from her. She never had a “safe place” to run to. She only had herself and the fact that she survived through the absolute worst & was able to heal over time without the help of a professional psychologist makes this true story the most interesting and intriguing story with a heartwarming ending. This was an incredible audio book read by the author herself. I highly suggest every parent to listen to Michelle’s story in order to be an even better parent to your child(ren). Sometimes I don’t think I’m the greatest mom to my children because of my lack of patience. However, I know now that I’m an incredible parent to my little ones because although I’m not perfect, loving them, feeding them, bathing them and protecting them is my number one priority. Thank you for sharing your priceless story, Michelle. I’ve learned so much from you.

The story strives me to continue healing! LOVE

Healing is never easy, but silencing the trama is forever worse. Thank you for your courage .

So compelling

If I didn't have children I would have started and finished this book in one day. Despite having children I finished in 3. If you are someone who's even remotely interested in psychology, this is a good book for you.

Courage

Would you listen to Scared Selfless again? Why?

Yes, though a difficult subject matter, I thought it was heartfelt, extremely well written and took a lot of courage for the author to write and read her story.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Scared Selfless?

Tough to answer, because I think the most memorable moments are also the most horrific.

Which character – as performed by Michelle Stevens – was your favorite?

Herself. Nothing more powerful than having the story told by the person that lived it.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

A True Survivor

Any additional comments?

Thank you Michelle for sharing your story. I hope you've found the peace you deserve.

Well done Michelle

This book was well written and gives details of abuse that had to be horribly hard to share. Michelle shows that overcoming the seemingly impossible is not only possible but also a reachable goal for others who are suffering. I recommend this book.

Horrifying and Riveting

What did you love best about Scared Selfless?

It was raw and honest.

What about Michelle Stevens’s performance did you like?

She was pure and unflinchingly honest.

Any additional comments?

This book haunted me but I was cheering her progress on the entire way.

Horrific, honest, riveting, heartwrenching, GREAT!

Where does Scared Selfless rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

Very, very good. I found myself not wanting to listen. This story is real and riveting. It was difficult to listen to what she went thru. I hurt my insides to listen, but out of respect, I had to finish. Eye-opening to an AWFUL epidemic in this country!!

What other book might you compare Scared Selfless to and why?

Have listened to several abuse & captive books. All are so heartbreaking, but I find myself becoming so involved in their pain that I cannot stop listening. Amazing survivors -- every one of them!

What does Michelle Stevens bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

She reading the story herself brought true emotion to the memoir.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

I did find myself near tears a couple of times. Have never had that emotion with the other books I have listened to this one. I believe the fact that she was only 8 yrs old when the first incident happened & her tender age simply broke my heart. Stealing her innocence & her experience just broke my heart.

Any additional comments?

Hard to listen to, but a must. A fantastic education to not just assume "everything is OK". I'm learning to watch signs much closer & become more involved when my gutt tells me something isn't right. :(