Ready Player Fun
A Shockingly Dirty and Silly Parody
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Ready Player Fun
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Narrated by:
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Juliana Solo
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By:
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A.V. Kern
About this listen
In the year 2054, reality is a really dumb place. The only time the young, freedom-loving, 1980s pop culture and sex-obsessed Bowie Jackson really feels alive is when he's huddling in a rusted metal lean-to in rural Wisconsin, jacked into the virtual, hyper-sexualized utopia known as the O-Face.
Bowie's devoted his life to unlocking the puzzles of the three magic dildos left by the O-Face's creator as his in-game alter ego Felicia McFly, no matter how stupid and cringey it is to learn about pop culture that's 70 years out of date. But Bowie's the ultimate Mary Stu, so that's not going to stop him!
When Bowie joins forces with his friends Sherm the Worm, Ap0ll0, and W33b to solve the creator’s puzzles, he attracts the attention of the ultimate buzzkill: the appallingly uptight Roger Dodger and his cult of Real Reality, who will stop at nothing, no matter how impractical, to end the antics of this group of misfits and take over the O-Face.
If Bowie's going to survive, win the contest, and, maybe, even bang a real girl in the end, he'll have to give it everything he's got - no matter how ridiculous the circumstances or how bad the puns.
Disclaimer: This book contains coarse language, a lot of gratuitously stupid and graphic sexual situations, tons of violence, and due to its content should not be listened to by anyone. You’ve been warned!
©2019 A.V. Kern (P)2020 A.V. KernListeners also enjoyed...
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- By: Jamie Hawke
- Narrated by: Teddy Hamilton
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 873
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 780
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Story4 out of 5 stars 781
All I wanted to do was take a break from college to check out LegendFest, some good ol' cosplay, and maybe find a lady to hit it off with. My life took a new direction, though, when I found out myths like Red Riding Hood are real, and they’re in an ongoing war against evil to save us all. More than that, they are being hunted, mistaken as humanity's enemy. They need a mortal to serve as their protector, someone to keep them out of harm's way while leading the battle against the likes of the Big Bad Wolf, Baba Yaga, and other evil legends. Now, I am that protector.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Sex obsessed author
- By Michael H on 03-15-21
By: Jamie Hawke
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Ex-Superheroes
- By: A.J. Markam
- Narrated by: Tad Branson
- Length: 6 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,879
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,720
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,718
It’s the end of the 21st century, and Hunter McNeil is your average, ordinary, ex-Army Ranger with superpowers. He’s serving time unjustly in a Supermax for supervillains when a botched prison break puts him in the crosshairs of an Army general who runs the Super-Powered Combatants Corp. Turns out a coordinated strike has put supervillains in charge of every major city in the world, and Hunter is the only hope at restoring order. And so Hunter sets out to do what he does best: kill supervillains. Save the world. And build a harem of smokin’ hot, super-powered women to help him.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Half Literary Porn
- By ReWrite from Shadow on 01-18-21
By: A.J. Markam
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Succubus Christmas Special
- By: A.J. Markam
- Narrated by: Iggy Toma
- Length: 3 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 440
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 396
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Story4 out of 5 stars 394
In this irreverent take on the holidays, Ian gets a new quest in a virtual reality video game: kill a monstrous villain named Sinter Klaws. (And no, he is NOT a jolly old elf.) Join Ian, his succubus Alaria, and his imp Stig as they journey through a winter wonderland full of killer reindeer, lecherous elves, and the worst mall Santa in the history of the world.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Say my name b**ch! A porny, Xmas, litRPG short
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 11-07-21
By: A.J. Markam
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Proxima Legends, Vol 1
- Fantasy Online, Books 1 & 2
- By: Harmon Cooper
- Narrated by: Jeff Hays
- Length: 22 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 53
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 43
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 43
After the death of his best friend, Ryuk logs into the online fantasy world of Tritania in hopes of seeing her again. Joined by a cantankerous goblin, a famous Swedish gamer, and a dragon, his guild sets out on an epic quest to find Tamana. Despite pressures from the real world and a mysterious faction known as the Shinigami, Ryuk uncovers a mind-blowing secret....
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3 out of 5 stars
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Can't Stand The FICKING Swearing
- By Anonymous User on 04-08-23
By: Harmon Cooper
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Fashionably Dead
- By: Robyn Peterman
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 12 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,026
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,793
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,786
Vampyres don't exist. They absolutely do not exist. At least I didn't think they did 'til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead? Now I'm a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren't bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite, and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Porn
- By Jo Mc on 05-11-17
By: Robyn Peterman
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You Need a Bigger Sword
- A Gamelit Fantasy RPG Novel
- By: Natalie Grey, Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Andrea Emmes
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 94
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 77
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 77
Enter the world of Metamorphosis Online, a fully immersive video game where players compete for spots in the Global Top 10 - ranks that actually pay you to play the game. Gracie doesn't play the game to make money...at first. Broke, single, and working a crappy job as a blackjack dealer, Gracie's just blowing off steam and having fun. Can playing a new type of immersive game help her overcome real-life issues, or will it cause more problems?
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4 out of 5 stars
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soundtrack
- By Kindle Customer on 02-08-20
By: Natalie Grey, and others
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The Anime Trope System: Stone vs. Viper, Book 1
- A LitRPG (ATS)
- By: Alvin Atwater
- Narrated by: David Reimer
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 607
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 560
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 557
At the mercy of an unknown entity, Clyde gets tossed into the anime world. Yes, it exists, we just don't know it. There, he's declared the Stone, the anime main character. One day, he must kill the Viper, or else it's good-bye, Earth. This is the comedic tale of a young man vs. cliche anime tropes.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Potential squandered. Good concept, bad writing.
- By David on 01-26-20
By: Alvin Atwater
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Swordsman of the Rift
- Swordsman of the Rift Series, Book 1
- By: Brandon Varnell
- Narrated by: Rudy Sanda
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 91
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 84
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 84
Bryan Jenson is a former Marine who's been running from his past. When an acquaintance comes to him with a job, he takes it. He doesn't care about the pay or the job specifics. He just wants to escape the nightmares. But in trying to run from his past, he runs into an even more terrifying nightmare when he and four others journey into the Rift Plains - a dimension connected to hundreds of other worlds. His party is overwhelmed, and Bryan is taken prisoner. Now, he must team up with an archangel who has lost more than half her power and a low-level succubus to escape.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Sadly, Not Worth the Listen
- By Kevin on 01-27-20
By: Brandon Varnell
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Collecting the Goddess
- By: Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Andrea Emmes
- Length: 17 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 57
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 48
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 48
What is a billionaire heiress supposed to do when all of her older siblings take to business like her parents, proving that business is in their blood. But not hers? There are many good choices. Unfortunately, Chloe decided that partying was the right one. Now, to keep her money, she’s required to attend daily meetings with the family psychologist - daily meetings about how she must change her present to change her future.
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4 out of 5 stars
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ugh
- By Marie on 07-09-20
By: Michael Anderle
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Heretic Spellblade
- Heretic Spellblade, Book 1
- By: K.D. Robertson
- Narrated by: Stephanie Savannah
- Length: 14 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 506
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 414
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 412
Before the demons invaded, Nathan had everything he ever wanted. Women, power, magical talent, wealth, a fortress full of loyal soldiers. Now, a beautiful demonic general offers him a choice: Die; or start a new life with her in the past and rewrite history. Nathan accepts and is sent back in time to before the end of the world.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Actually has a story
- By Kel Ward on 06-16-21
By: K.D. Robertson
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Creation Mage
- War Mage Academy, Book 1
- By: Dante King
- Narrated by: Marissa Parness, Alex Perone
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 726
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 663
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 662
The last thing I expected was to gain the spells of the woman in my bed. Hell, I didn't even know magic existed until I'd cast a spell that morning. Then a beautiful teacher from a magical academy told me I could become the universe's most powerful mage. To get there, I need to become stronger. I need to ace all my examinations. And, most of all, I need to master the most potent spells. But I have to start somewhere.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Exceptional narration. Disappointing writing.
- By Dearik on 04-29-21
By: Dante King
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Finding Real Magic
- Relic Diver, Book 1
- By: Shawn Keys
- Narrated by: Erin Bateman
- Length: 12 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 231
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 214
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 211
Zahn’s life has been anything but ordinary. While hunting archaic relics infused with magic from continent to continent, his latest search brings him to Hollywood, and then face-to-face with a movie star he has idolized for years. Until now, he has only cared about the quest. But as lust and love break into his life, Zahn is caught up in a violent competition to retrieve one of the most powerful magical creations of all time from its ancient resting place.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Pretty good
- By Andrew M. S. on 05-26-20
By: Shawn Keys
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88 Names
- A Novel
- By: Matt Ruff
- Narrated by: Ewan Chung
- Length: 8 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 94
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 83
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 80
John Chu is a “sherpa” - a paid guide to online role-playing games. For a fee, he and his crew will provide you with a top-flight character equipped with the best weapons and armor. Chu’s new client, "Mr. Jones", claims to be a “wealthy, famous person” with powerful enemies, and he’s offering a ridiculous amount of money for a comprehensive tour. For Chu, this is a dream assignment, but then he begins to suspect that Mr. Jones is really North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un. But Chu also has to worry about “Ms. Pang”, and his angry ex-girlfriend, Darla Jean Covington....
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3 out of 5 stars
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I love this author... didn’t love this book.
- By Anonymous User on 03-30-20
By: Matt Ruff
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Minotaur's Maze of Monster Girls Omnibus: Books 1-3
- By: Marcus Sloss
- Narrated by: Daniel Wisniewski, Rebecca Woods
- Length: 36 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 469
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 427
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 426
After slaying a leviathan of the deep, and gaining a magic he barely understands, an ordinary fisherman finds himself entangled in a magical game of the gods with the fate of his planet as the prize. Dean becomes Oakley's champion, competing in the Minotaur's Maze. He travels through a portal to Mixonia, a city of wonders, filled with magic and monster girls of all sorts. As he levels up in his noble quest to save his home world, he will earn and lose fortunes, rescue a bevy of beautiful babes, and protect the innocents of planet Oakley.
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4 out of 5 stars
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This was actually good.
- By Nate on 05-16-22
By: Marcus Sloss
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Resurrection of the Damned
- War of the Damned, Book 1
- By: Michael Todd, Michael Anderle, Laurie Starkey
- Narrated by: Emily Beresford
- Length: 5 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 37
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 34
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Story5 out of 5 stars 33
In a world invaded by demons, it's up to Katie and her Killers to restore order while also evading enemies - and friends - who want her in the worst way.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Totally Spoiled Storyline
- By Linda Luella on 01-03-20
By: Michael Todd, and others
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The Shifter's Hoard
- Dragon Born, Book 1
- By: Dante King
- Narrated by: Jessica Threet, Christopher Boucher
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 571
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 514
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 513
After fighting a troll in a back alley, I found out the supernatural was real. Then I discovered I'm a dragon shifter. Soon after, I learned I'm also a mage. Turns out this combination is incredibly rare, and now everyone wants a piece of me. Being a dragon, there's only one thing I want to do: gather my hoard. Power. Magic. Women. Riches. It's all going to be mine.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Good until the last 2 hours
- By Connor Kitchen on 04-29-22
By: Dante King
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Cherry Blossom Girls Box Set
- By: Harmon Cooper
- Narrated by: Justin Thomas James, Annie Ellicott, Jeff Hays, and others
- Length: 21 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 665
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 614
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 613
Gideon Caldwell is a less than successful indie author barely making ends meet in his crummy basement apartment in New Haven, Connecticut, when a beautiful woman mysteriously appears at his doorstep.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Cherry Blossom Girls !
- By Sartín on 07-19-19
By: Harmon Cooper
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Mortality Bites: Publisher's Pack
- By: Ramy Vance
- Narrated by: Candace Thaxton
- Length: 12 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,140
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,065
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,058
Katrina Darling’s only real friend has been murdered. And not just murdered - ritually sacrificed by a serial killer. Kat is sure more death will follow. She should know...she used to be the monster plunging the blade in. Trouble is, after 300 years of being a vampire, Kat has forgotten what it means to be human. One thing she does remember is that friends matter. Now she's determined to find whoever - or whatever - killed her friend before more victims surface. But just as the hunt begins, a mysterious young man discovers exactly what she was.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Ugh
- By MsNing on 05-12-22
By: Ramy Vance