Proof of Life

Let Go, Let Love, and Stop Looking for Permission to Live Your Life

By: Jennifer Pastiloff

An inspiring call-to-arms to stop abandoning yourself and to no longer wait for permission.

From the bestselling author of ON BEING HUMAN, comes this fierce, funny, and frank manifesto on getting unstuck and living your life on your own terms, without apology. A guidebook to remembering that stress isn’t your birthright, that change might hurt but it won’t kill you, and that you don’t have to provide any proof to show that you are worthy or deserving because: You are your own proof of life.

Having finally achieved professional and financial success, Jen Pastiloff should have been content. She repeatedly told herself that her life was fine and that fine was enough. Mostly though, what she told herself was Who am I to think that I get to leave fine? Until one day, the muted voice saying that something was missing no longer stayed muted, but started screaming. She remembered that we all have an Inner Asshole that whispers in your ear what you SHOULD do and don't do and tells you that you don't deserve more than what you have. She realized she’d been listening too long to the voice of Should. Enough was enough.

This book is Pastiloff's account of how she radically changed her own life—leaving her marriage, taking risks professionally, and stepping out of her safe bubble when safety was all she'd ever wanted, after losing her beloved father when she was eight—while imparting her courage and wisdom to inspire listeners to do the same. She shows us it is never too late to change the stories we think define us. The ones that deprive us of accepting greater love, fulfillment, and joy. Stories like: I don’t deserve this, I’m a bad daughter, No one will ever love me, I'm too old to change, to name a few.

Through this book, you learn how to quiet your Inner Asshole, participate in the cathartic process of Shame Loss, recognize your I Got You People, ignore the Imaginary Time Gods, use creativity as a portal into healing, and become your own Permission Slip. As Pastiloff reminds us, it’s not about changing who you are but allowing yourself to find your way back to you. Complete with takeaways in Jen’s signature writing style, writing prompts, and poetry, Proof of Life is funny, inspiring, and full of love. It’s about showing up for yourself and for those around you. In Pastiloff's words, at the end of our lives let’s say that we have done love.

©2025 Jennifer Pastiloff (P)2025 Penguin Audio