Outofshapeworthlessloser

A Memoir of Figure Skating, F*cking Up, and Figuring It Out

By: Gracie Gold

Narrated by: Gracie Gold

Length: 9 hrs and 39 mins

Publisher's summary

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A “piercing account” (The Wall Street Journal) of surviving as a young woman in a society that rewards appearances more than anything and demands perfection at all costs—especially if you’re an Olympic figure skater.

“A riveting memoir, which details her experience with an eating disorder, depression and her high-stakes career.”—People (Best Books to Read in February 2024)

When Gracie Gold stepped onto center stage (or ice, rather) as America’s sweetheart at the 2014 Sochi Olympics, she instantly became the face of America’s most beloved winter sport. Beautiful, blonde, Midwestern, and media-trained, she was suddenly being written up everywhere from The New Yorker to Teen Vogue to People and baking cookies with Taylor Swift.

But little did the public know what Gold was facing when the cameras were off, driven by the self-destructive voice inside that she calls “outofshapeworthlessloser.” In 2017, she entered treatment for what was publicly announced as an eating disorder and anxiety treatment but was, in reality, suicidal ideation. While Gold’s public star was rising, her private life was falling apart: Cracks within her family were widening, her bulimia was getting worse, and she became a survivor of sexual assault. The pressure of training for years with demanding coaches and growing up in a household that accepted nothing less than gold had finally taken its toll.

Now Gold reveals the exclusive and harrowing story of her struggles in and out of the pressure-packed world of elite figure skating: the battles with her family, her coaches, the powers-that-be at her federation, and her deteriorating mental health.

Outofshapeworthlessloser is not only a forceful reckoning from a world-class athlete but also an intimate memoir, told with unflinching honesty and stirring defiance.

©2024 Gracie Gold (P)2024 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

“Stunningly candid . . . The depth and breadth of the problems Gold reveals in the memoir stunned me. And the way she has been putting her life back together continues to impress.” —Phil Hersh

Raw honesty

Really no words to describe the gift that GG has given the world. Thank you ❤️

Real, Raw, Honest, and Beautiful

The title of my review should speak for itself. Thank you Grace for the opportunity to get to know you and your beautiful journey in this world.

A beautiful and brave story!

Moving and inspiring. A very candid and important story. I loved it. Definitely a must for skating fans but anyone would enjoy hearing about this tale of authenticity and loving yourself regardless of yourself.

Best book I read all year

Thank goodness for this honesty. In a world of fake everything, this is exactly what I needed. I literally couldn’t stop reading it. Gave me lots of hope for our future.

The truthfulness and heart to tell her story.

Loved this memoir. It’s very important for people struggling with mental health. No matter what the sport or life situation.

wow

deep, dark, and refreshingly honest dive into not only the culture of figure skating but also mental health. truly a good listen

Striking and honest

Thank you for sharing your story! I could relate to much of your story. I laughed and cried.

Honest and beautifully written

I grew up figure skating and Gracie Gold was my favorite skater to watch. This book was so open an honest not just about her experiences, but about the experiences we all face in the world of ice skating. So my of my lived experiences that I could never put into words, suddenly have a voice. Thank you for writing this amazing book Gracie, and keep doing the great you do on speaking out about mental health in sports and specifically skating.

Extraordinary

Truly great memoir and narration. I’m a 60 yr old ex skater who went thru the mind game and eating disorder as well. Things are the same. The world has changed but not enough. But the act of skating is magical. Thank you Gracie. PS. I saw you at all the Nationals in San Jose.

Powerful voice of truth

This is a very inspiring story, full of wisdom and told beautifully by Gracie herself. What a gift!