Out of the Shadows

Reimagining Gay Men’s Lives

By: Walt Odets

Narrated by: Will Damron

It goes without saying that even today, it's not easy to be gay in America. While young gay men often come out more readily, even those from the most progressive of backgrounds still struggle with the legacy of early-life stigma and a deficit of self-acceptance, which can fuel doubt, regret, and, at worst, self-loathing. And this is to say nothing of the ongoing trauma wrought by AIDS, which is all too often relegated to history. Drawing on his work as a clinical psychologist during and in the aftermath of the epidemic, Walt Odets reflects on what it means to survive and figure out a way to live in a new, uncompromising future, both for the men who endured the upheaval of those years and for the younger men who have come of age since then, at a time when HIV is still deeply affecting gay communities, especially among the most marginalized.

Through moving stories - of friends and patients, and his own - Odets considers how experiences early in life launch men on trajectories aimed at futures that are not authentically theirs. He writes to help reconstruct how we think about gay life by considering everything from the misleading idea of "the homosexual", to the diversity and richness of gay relationships, to the historical role of stigma and shame and the significance of youth and of aging.

©2019 Walt Whitman Odets (P)2019 HighBridge, a division of Recorded Books

Wait for it.

I didn’t always relate to the case studies or ideas about gay men from my generation. But occasionally it was eye opening and I realized things that had never occurred to me as it relates to my experience. So the first part of the book is worth a listen. When I arrived at the chapter The Life and Times of Mathias Johnson that’s when the book really came alive for me. What an amazing story about amazing men, including the author. When you get there have your tissue at the ready. You will laugh and cry. That chapter was worth every minute.

Could not put it down! VELVET RAGE 2.0

The insight offered by this psychologist is proving to be invaluable when applied to my current position in the gay dating world. While I admit this is no substitute for therapy, the useful analysis of subconscious motivations behind our real world obstacles as a gay community cannot be denied. Highly recommend!!!

Excellent book

This book is both engaging and informative. As a psychotherapist myself, I found the insights important and poignant. The stories are moving.I have developed much more understanding of the gay community. The book is extremely well written, which I also appreciate.

Heartbreakingly Insightful, Inspiring

There are moments I think that will be difficult for listeners to digest, especially gay male listeners, because they may be reminded of themselves, someone they loved, or someone they lost, in the accounts of the numerous men about which the author writes. I certainly experienced this.

But in the difficult, traumatic, and heartbreaking moments there lay reasons to truly strive for and cherish gay life and everything it means. As a young man I found it incredibly insightful and has given me new ways of seeing things. Definitely worth the read for anyone seeking to understand the past and also themselves and the men they love.

An Important Book for Gay Men

This book really hit home for me. The author is a gay therapist with decades of experience working with gay men of all ages. His knowledge and insight into the issues that impact the lives of gay men will resonate with many men who struggle with understanding themselves and the lasting impact of growing up in a society that doesn't value us. Too often the result of this trauma is shame, isolation, and life-long feelings of being different. What I found most valuable about this book was the many personal stories of gay men the author has worked with throughout his career, including his own heartwarming story of love, friendship, and loss. I highly recommend this book.

Relatable!

Just incredible! This is one of those rare books that just speaks to the soul.

Inspiring, Moving, and Enlightening

This book brought me an immense amount of peace as I listened to it. There were times when I felt like I was in a dreamlike state as I listened to the narrator read; other times I couldn't put into words the way this book made me feel. The lessons here are essential and completely necessary for all gay men. We must collectively learn how to liberate ourselves from the traumatizing pains of our childhoods, and create our own lives—for ourselves. This book has guided me towards mental clarity, understanding, and true love.

Sappy but some interesting parts

The prose is so sentimental, made worse by a narrator who is always over dramatic. The author also makes a lot of pronouncements that are not evidence based and more his own theories. In addition, some parts feel oddly out of date despite a relatively recent publish date. But I still found some of the stories of patients interesting and appreciated a book devoted to the gay male experience, without holding back.

Depressing

People say this book is amazing- but as a queer person it really was depressing.