Once upon a Time in Carrotland
My YouTube Autobiography Which I Definitely Wrote All Of
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Once upon a Time in Carrotland
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Narrated by:
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Josh Carrott
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By:
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Josh Carrott
About this listen
Is he a man or is he a carrot? In this groundbreaking autobiography of a YouTube icon, we get to the root of it. In this breathtaking debut, Josh Carrott peels back the curtain to reveal an epic saga of friendship, true love, and a prophecy that will change his life forever. Gird your loins and hold on tight for the unfiltered story of his fascinating and vitamin-A-infused life.
©2021 Josh Carrott & Ollie Kendal (P)2022 Josh Carrott & Ollie KendalListeners also enjoyed...
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Story5 out of 5 stars 413
You may not recognize my name-or my face for that matter-but it's very likely you've seen me at work. I've managed to cram quite a bit into my thirty-year acting career. In fact I've helped put more bums on cinema seats than Will Smith or Tom Hanks. Who else can say that they've helped destroy a Death Star? Defeated an evil sorceress? Taught magic to Harry Potter? Become a Jedi Master? Reluctantly hitchhiked across the galaxy in search of the answer to the Ultimate Question?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Sincere and heart-warming
- By Alice on 10-04-15
By: Warwick Davis
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What Is Not Yours Is Not Yours
- Stories
- By: Helen Oyeyemi
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Gideon, Piter Marek, Bahni Turpin
- Length: 7 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 155
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 133
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Story4 out of 5 stars 135
In "Books and Roses", one special key opens a library, a garden, and clues to at least two lovers' fates. In "Is Your Blood as Red as This?", an unlikely key opens the heart of a student at a puppeteering school. "'Sorry' Doesn't Sweeten Her Tea" involves a "house of locks", where doors can be closed only with a key - with surprising unobservable developments. And in "If a Book Is Locked There's Probably a Good Reason for That Don't You Think", a key keeps a mystical diary locked (for good reason).
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5 out of 5 stars
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clever
- By jared rogerson on 03-15-18
By: Helen Oyeyemi
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The Things I Should Have Told You
- By: Carmel Harrington, Emer O'Connor
- Narrated by: Aidan Kelly, Caroline Lennon
- Length: 11 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 85
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 79
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 79
Every family has a story.... But for the Guinness family a happy ending looks out of reach. Olly and Mae's marriage is crumbling, their teenage daughter Evie is on a mission to self-destruct and their beloved Pops is dying of cancer. Their once strong family unit is slowly falling apart. But Pops has one final gift to offer his beloved family - a ray of hope to cling to. As his life's journey draws to a close, he sends his family on an adventure across Europe in a camper van, guided by his letters, his wisdom and his love.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Another home run!
- By Avid Amazon Customer on 01-04-21
By: Carmel Harrington, and others
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You Gotta Get Bigger Dreams
- My Life in Stories and Pictures
- By: Alan Cumming
- Narrated by: Alan Cumming
- Length: 3 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 831
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 754
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Story4 out of 5 stars 746
Described by the New York Times as “a bawdy countercultural sprite” and named one of the most fun people in show business by Time magazine, Alan Cumming is a genuine quadruple threat - an internationally acclaimed, award-winning star of stage, television, and film, as well as a New York Times best-selling author whose real-life vivacity, wit, and charm shine through every minute of his third book, You Gotta Get Bigger Dreams.
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5 out of 5 stars
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We would be friends
- By Peg on 11-28-16
By: Alan Cumming
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Moment Maker
- You Can Live Your Life or It Will Live You
- By: Carlos Whittaker
- Narrated by: Carlos Whittaker
- Length: 4 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 80
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 71
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 70
Life is made of moments. What are you doing to make the most of them? In Moment Maker, Carlos Whittaker shows you how to make each moment count, so those moments add up to a life rich with meaning, deeply satisfying, and full of purpose. Every day we have an opportunity to make our lives meaningful, to make them matter. Yet, for so many of us, we let too much of life happen without taking notice. For author, speaker, and podcaster Carlos Whittaker, living deliberately has become a way of life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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going to read it again starting now! !Bravo Carlos
- By Eric B. Sichler on 06-02-15
By: Carlos Whittaker
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Six Stories
- By: Matt Wesolowski
- Narrated by: Tim Bruce, Helen Johns, Leighton Pugh, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 114
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 103
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Story4 out of 5 stars 103
It's 1997. Scarclaw Fell. The body of teenager Tom Jeffries is found at an outward bound centre. Verdict? Misadventure. But not everyone is convinced. And the truth of what happened in the beautiful but eerie fell is locked in the memories of the tight-knit group of friends who took that fateful trip and the flimsy testimony of those living nearby.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Need to fix audio.
- By Mark D on 02-21-21
By: Matt Wesolowski
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I Said Yes
- My Story of Heartbreak, Redemption, and True Love
- By: Emily Maynard Johnson
- Narrated by: Hayley Cresswell
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 273
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 239
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 242
Millions know Emily Maynard Johnson from her unprecedented double appearances on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Millions also know that neither of the relationships from those shows lasted much longer than a commercial break. Overcome with embarrassment following her nationally televised failures at romance, Emily finally committed her heart to the only one she knew would never leave her empty and alone. Abandoning her desire to be chosen by men and finding peace in the fact that she was already chosen by God, Emily found the joy she had been looking for in serving God.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Interesting read for bachelor/bachelorette fans
- By Melanie on 03-31-16
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My Real Children
- By: Jo Walton
- Narrated by: Alison Larkin
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 128
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 110
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Story4 out of 5 stars 112
It's 2015, and Patricia Cowan is very old. "Confused today," read the notes clipped to the end of her bed. She forgets things she should know - what year it is, major events in the lives of her children. But she remembers things that don't seem possible. She remembers marrying Mark and having four children. And she remembers not marrying Mark and raising three children with Bee instead.
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3 out of 5 stars
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A strange take on an otherwise simple story.
- By Lauren on 01-08-15
By: Jo Walton
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Little Me
- My Life from A-Z
- By: Matt Lucas
- Narrated by: Matt Lucas
- Length: 9 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 90
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 83
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 83
Hello there. Welcome to my autobiography. Throughout this audiobook I talk about my life and work, including Little Britain, Come Fly with Me, Bridesmaids, Les Miserables, Alice in Wonderland and, of course, Shooting Stars. The thing is, this is a bit different to most memoirs you may have listened to, because it comes in the form of an A-Z. Anyway, I hope you buy it at least twice. Thank you.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Food
- By Gavin Brown on 09-26-20
By: Matt Lucas
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Separated @ Birth
- A True Love Story of Twin Sisters Reunited
- By: Anais Bordier, Samantha Futerman
- Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller
- Length: 8 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 25
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 20
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Story5 out of 5 stars 20
It all began when design student Anaïs Bordier viewed a YouTube video and saw her own face staring back. After some research, Anaïs found that the Los Angeles actress Samantha Futerman was born in a South Korean port city called Busan on November 19, 1987 - the exact same location and day that Anaïs was born. This propelled her to make contact - via Facebook. One message later, both girls wondered: Could they be twins?
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4 out of 5 stars
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Touching, heartwarming
- By Kelvin L. Reed on 11-01-22
By: Anais Bordier, and others
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Schuyler's Monster
- A Father's Journey with His Wordless Daughter
- By: Robert Rummel-Hudson
- Narrated by: Johnathan McClain
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 50
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 40
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Story5 out of 5 stars 40
When Schuyler Rummel-Hudson was 18 months old, a question about her lack of speech by her pediatrician set in motion a journey that continues today. When she was diagnosed with bilateral perisylvian polymicrogyria (an extremely rare neurological disorder), her parents were given a name for the monster that had been stalking them from doctor to doctor, and from despair to hope, and back again.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Must-read for medical parents & those who ❤them
- By Kelly A. Wolske on 05-23-18
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Not Fade Away
- A Memoir of Senses Lost and Found
- By: Rebecca Alexander, Sascha Alper
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 54
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 47
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 47
Thirty-four-year-old Rebecca Alexander is a psychotherapist, a spin instructor, a volunteer, and an athlete. She is also almost completely blind, with significantly deteriorated hearing. Not Fade Away is a deeply moving exploration of the obstacles we all face-physical, psychological, and philosophical. Rebecca's story is an exquisite reminder to live each day to its fullest.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Loved this!
- By Daryl on 11-24-14
By: Rebecca Alexander, and others
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I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan
- By: Alan Partridge
- Narrated by: Alan Partridge
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 744
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 668
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 662
Journalist, presenter, broadcaster, husband, father, vigorous all-rounder – Alan Partridge – a man with a fascinating past and an amazing future. Gregarious and popular, yet Alan’s never happier than when relaxing in his own five-bedroom, south-built house with three acres of land and access to a private stream. But who is this mysterious enigma? Alan Gordon Partridge is the best – and best-loved – radio presenter in the region. Born into a changing world of rationing, Teddy Boys, apes in space and the launch of ITV, Alan’s broadcasting career began as chief DJ of Radio Smile....
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5 out of 5 stars
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An Anglican giant among pygmies
- By John on 06-20-12
By: Alan Partridge
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The Silent Witness
- By: Casey Watson
- Narrated by: Kate Lock
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 60
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 56
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 56
It's the night before Christmas when Casey and Mike get the call. A 12-year-old girl, stuck between a rock and a hard place. Her father is on a ventilator, fighting for his life, while her mother is currently on remand in prison. Despite claiming she attacked him in self-defence, she's been charged with his attempted murder. The girl is called Bella, and she's refusing to say anything. The trouble is that she is also the only witness....
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5 out of 5 stars
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must listen or read this book love love love love
- By diona tease on 10-16-17
By: Casey Watson
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Finding Fish
- A Memoir
- By: Antwone Q. Fisher
- Narrated by: Thomas Penny
- Length: 12 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 98
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 89
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Story5 out of 5 stars 87
Baby Boy Fisher was raised in institutions from the moment of his birth in prison to a single mother. He ultimately came to live with a foster family, where he endured near-constant verbal and physical abuse. In his midteens he escaped and enlisted in the navy, where he became a man of the world, raised by the family he created for himself. Finding Fish shows how, out of this unlikely mix of deprivation and hope, an artist was born.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This book will not disappoint you.
- By Joseph on 10-16-16
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A Little Bit Wicked
- Life, Love, and Faith in Stages
- By: Kristin Chenoweth
- Narrated by: Kristin Chenoweth
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 484
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 312
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 313
In this frank and funny memoir, the Tony Award-winning star of stage and screen shares her journey from small-town Oklahoma to big-time Broadway, vamping on what it takes to stand firmly on a foundation of family and faith while wearing a hot pair of Jimmy Choo platform sling-backs.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Salt of the Earth + Sparkles
- By Holly on 10-01-09
What listeners say about Once upon a Time in Carrotland
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Quentin Tigé
- 10-01-22
A true masterpiece
Referring to this book as a masterpiece would be an understatement. Josh's intricate life story narrated by no one else than Josh himself is a gift to the world unrivaled, except maybe by the existence of carrotland itself.
After finishing the novel I had to refrain myself from singing happy birthday to the top of my lungs, for obvious copyright reasons. instead I celebrated by buying 4 bags of carrots at my local supermarket. big carrots, purple carrots, and yes, also adorable baby carrots.
I wish you all a jolly week, 오늘은 여기까지.. 안녕~
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Holly Davis
- 01-20-23
Hilarious!
As soon as I found out this was available I bought it. Loved it!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 10-04-22
One word...
Chobblesome
(here are the remaining fourteen words that Audible reviews require for a valid post)
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Aruna
- 09-30-22
PURE COMEDY GOLD!
Ridiculouslyfunny I'm very glad I got it Bizarrewas laughing the wholeway performance was great 2
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 02-02-23
JOLLY good fun, loaded with puns!
Very humorous, great premise. if you enjoy JOLLY, you'll definitely get a kick out of this!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 09-28-22
Greatest audiobook ever
The storyline and the narration are ... how can I describe ... absolutely sublime. I've never listen to an audiobook that sound so authentic and touching. Truely the greatest piece in audiobook history.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Brianne Herrera
- 01-03-23
Deserves a Pulitzer!
The finest storytelling ever published! There was never a more noble character to exist in literature.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 10-04-22
Thank you!
This was such a wonderful audiobook. I also love the story behind the story. I hope the funds for this book help the Ukrainian recording company. Best wishes!
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Joseph Porras
- 09-25-22
A tour de Force
"Josh's" definitely reading every word of his autobiography is an absolutely enthralling listen. I cannot recommend it more.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Irma
- 12-07-22
I love Josh and Ollie and I’m a big fan
Honestly, for it being Ollie reading and AI voice modified to sound like Josh, it’s pretty damn scary good. I’m a big fan of theirs and their two channels. This book is so stupid and hella fictional but it was a funny time to listen and I enjoyed it for sure.
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1 person found this helpful