Never Have Your Dog Stuffed

And Other Things I've Learned

By: Alan Alda

Narrated by: Alan Alda

He's one of America's most recognizable and acclaimed actors: a star on Broadway, an Oscar nominee for The Aviator, and the only person to ever win Emmys for acting, writing, and directing, during his 11 years on M*A*S*H. Now Alan Alda has written a memoir as elegant, funny, and affecting as his greatest performances.

"My mother didn't try to stab my father until I was six," begins Alda's irresistible story. The son of a popular actor and a loving but mentally ill mother, he spent his early childhood backstage in the erotic and comic world of burlesque and went on, after early struggles, to achieve extraordinary success in his profession.

Yet Never Have Your Dog Stuffed is not a memoir of show-business ups and downs. It is a moving and funny story of a boy growing into a man who then realizes he has only just begun to grow.

It is the story of turning points in Alda's life, events that would make him what he is, if only he could survive them.

From the moment as a boy when his dead dog is returned from the taxidermist's shop with a hideous expression on his face, and he learns that death can't be undone, to the decades-long effort to find compassion for the mother he lived with but never knew, to his acceptance of his father, both personally and professionally, Alda learns the hard way that change, uncertainty, and transformation are what life is made of, and true happiness is found in embracing them.

Never Have Your Dog Stuffed, filled with curiosity about nature, good humor, and honesty, is the crowning achievement of an actor, author, and director, but surprisingly, it is the story of a life more filled with turbulence and laughter than any Alda has ever played on the stage or screen.

©2005 Alan Alda (P)2005 Random House, Inc. Random House Audio, a division of Random House, Inc.

Critic reviews

"A brief but entertaining autobiography tempered with humility and a depth rarely found in celebrity memoirs." (Publishers Weekly)

A great story for any fan of Alan Alda

I initially gained interest in this book because I am huge fan of M*A*S*H*, so I knew you couldn't have a biography of Alan Alda with out touching on his performances in M*A*S*H*. I was only slightly disappointed that they touched on it very briefly, but to my delight, the rest of his story is even more incredible and gripping. between burlesque shows, mental illness and his struggles to understand the mind, and his constant travels, he certainly lives a life worth writing about. if you loved him in M*A*S*H*, this is a must read/listen

Heart-warming, hilarious and intensely human

Rarely have I enjoyed a book as much as this one. It was both laugh out loud funny and intensely personal. It shared the ups and downs of life including the struggle to deal with mental illness within the family. Other memoirs I’ve read that dealt with this were so tremendously sad it was hard to even get through - especially having lived with this in my own family. Alda shares the raw reality, the anger, sadness and struggle without overwhelming the reader. Perhaps it’s because he also had positive things going on in his life he shared or because he writes as if he didn’t take himself too seriously - or could at least look back and find humour in other events. Whatever your take, it’s a great mix of humanity, humour and love of life that leaves you feeling lifted and happy you experienced this work. Thank you Mr Alda!

Alan Alda does it again

Humor and pathos though through the madcap lense of Alan Alda. Best of wishes to him and his family

it's a diamond!

This was an incredible book. it was really nice to have the author reading the book because it gave you inflections. In insight you would not have gotten from a normal reader. I thought he was an incredible actor comma now I know he is an incredible person exclamation! And never stuff your dog...

Fantastic Book!!

I really enjoyed this book. I look forward to reading/listening to his other books. 😃

Great Book

Great book, I love Alan Alda. Was a big bonus for him to do the reading

Fabulous

Alda's bio is sweet, endearing, heartbreaking at times, finny, irreverent and thoroughly engaging. To have the author narrate his story is especially engaging and his delivery, cadence and timing is fantastic.

sample sounded bad

The sample sounded like I had held my boom box up to the television to record MTV music on a casset. Thankfully the actual download sounded nothing like that!

Loved seeing into the life of one of my favorite actors! I'm so glad he narrated it himself, it really made it feel like he was telling you personally the story of his life. It was funny and honest and I would definitely recommend.

About as eloquent as you can get…

It doesn’t matter what medium he uses. Alan Alda is the Lands’ End for painting a mental picture, and then decorating it to the best of his ability. Just like his writing and directing on M*A*S*H, and the plays and movies that he has scripted, Alda weaves the wonderful yarn about his life. Doesn’t spend too much time on any one thing (and M*A*S*H fans will be a bit disappointed to know that he doesn’t spend 3/4 of the book on the series), and that’s a plus. Alda knows exactly when he’s on the verge of saying too much about any one thing, and gracefully moves on to the next. An extremely enjoyable listen.

Loved it!

Alan Alda has always been one of my favorite actors and it was fun getting to know more about him. This memoir makes a person realize that we all have issues growing up, and man did he have issues! This is a fascinating look into a very talented and humble man.