My Giant Farts
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My Giant Farts
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Narrated by:
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Neil Roy McFarlane
About this listen
A modern-day "fractured fairy tale" of flatulence, friendship, and fun!
People think Jupiter is the biggest gas giant in the solar system, but Tom knows better....
The story:
Tom is just an ordinary boy in an ordinary town until one day, he finds a dirty, old teapot. He gives it a rub, and out pops...the genie of the lamp!
Hurrah! Huzzah! And hip hip hooray!
Only it's not a genie; it's a giant. Tom was hoping for three wishes, but instead, he's lumbered with a hulking great lummox who turns out to be completely useless.
Isn't there anything for which this giant is good?
©2014 Neil Roy McFarlane (P)2018 Neil Roy McFarlaneListeners also enjoyed...
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- Narrated by: Michael Boatman, Kate DiCamillo, John Keating, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 119
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 86
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Story4 out of 5 stars 85
Funny Business is based around the theme of - what else? - humor, and if you’re familiar with Jon and the Guys Read Library, you already know what you’re in store for: 10 hilarious stories from some of the funniest writers around. Before you’re through, you’ll meet a teenage mummy; a kid desperate to take a dip in the world’s largest pool of chocolate milk; a homicidal turkey; parents who hand over their son’s room to a biker; and more.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Awesome super funny
- By sacha on 10-03-16
By: Jon Scieszka, and others
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Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made
- Timmy Failure, Book 1
- By: Stephan Pastis
- Narrated by: Jared Goldsmith
- Length: 2 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 146
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 110
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 108
The New York Times best selling cartoonist behind the nationally acclaimed comic strip Pearls Before Swine, Stephan Pastis has won raves for Timmy Failure, the hilarious first book in a new series for young listeners. With the help of a polar bear named Total, Timmy Failure hopes to strike it rich by running the best detective agency around. The only problem is that our supremely confident hero is often more bumbling than brainy.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Good
- By Linton A Harrington on 05-14-16
By: Stephan Pastis
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A Whole Nother Story
- Whole Nother Story, Book 1
- By: Dr. Cuthbert Soup
- Narrated by: Dick Hill
- Length: 6 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 58
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 47
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 48
The Cheesemans are a family on the run. Mr. Cheeseman and his late wife invented a device so powerful and amazing that all sorts of evildoers want to get their greedy hands on it. Mr. Cheeseman and his three children must keep their identities secret and stay one step ahead of the villains as they run from town to town, escape dangerous situations, even change their names. Luckily, though they may not have the names they were born with, they do have their smarts — and quite a bit of good luck.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Loved it!
- By kate on 10-13-21
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Dragonhaven
- By: Robin McKinley
- Narrated by: Noah Galvin
- Length: 13 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 244
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 216
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 218
Dragons are extinct in the wild, but the Makepeace Institute of Integrated Dragon Studies in Smokehill National Park is home to about two hundred of the world's remaining creatures. Until Jake discovers a dying dragon that has given birth - and one of the babies is still alive.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A master author at the top of her powers.
- By ShySusan on 08-11-13
By: Robin McKinley
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Fish in a Tree
- By: Lynda Hunt
- Narrated by: Kathleen McInerney
- Length: 5 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,775
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,274
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Story5 out of 5 stars 2,278
Ally has been smart enough to fool a lot of smart people. Every time she lands in a new school, she is able to hide her inability to read by creating clever yet disruptive distractions. She is afraid to ask for help; after all, how can you cure dumb? However, her newest teacher Mr. Daniels sees the bright, creative kid underneath the trouble maker. With his help, Ally learns not to be so hard on herself and that dyslexia is nothing to be ashamed of.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Great book but...not just dyslexia
- By Jennifer Hurst on 12-31-15
By: Lynda Hunt
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Companion Piece
- A Novel
- By: Ali Smith
- Narrated by: Natalie Simpson
- Length: 4 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 69
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 59
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 59
With an eye for rendering the timely in a timeless way and enchanting audiences with lyrical prose and grace, Ali Smith's ambitious Seasonal Quartet—a series of four stand-alone novels, separate but interconnected—artfully guided us through #MeToo, Brexit, the refugee crisis, a global pandemic, and more. Now, Smith's highly anticipated Companion Piece looks to the future and builds upon this "time-sensitive project". This new novel stands apart from the Quartet, which remains discrete unto itself.
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3 out of 5 stars
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She said she said she said
- By Cate on 05-29-22
By: Ali Smith
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What Happened to My Sister
- A Novel
- By: Elizabeth Flock
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 57
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 52
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 52
Nine-year-old Carrie Parker and her mother, Libby, are making a fresh start in the small town of Hartsville, North Carolina, ready to put their turbulent past behind them. Violence has shattered their family and left Libby nearly unable to cope. And while Carrie once took comfort in her beloved sister, Emma, her mother has now forbidden even the mention of her name. When Carrie meets Ruth, Honor, and Cricket Chaplin, these three generations of warmhearted women seem to have the loving home Carrie has always dreamed of. But as Carrie and Cricket become fast friends, neither can escape the pull of their families' secrets.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Breathtaking
- By Pink Amy on 03-11-24
By: Elizabeth Flock
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Zoe & Zak and the Ghost Leopard (Volume 1)
- By: Lars Guignard
- Narrated by: Bailey S. Carlson
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 35
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 35
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Story4 out of 5 stars 35
Zoe Guire just talked to an elephant. Well, technically speaking, the elephant spoke to her, but either way it was weird and, as a rule, Zoe doesn't do weird. Except the thing is, when Zoe goes along on her mom's business trip to India, things get very weird, very quickly. Soon after she arrives, Zoe finds herself tagging alongside a kid named Zak, lost in a crazy city, with no money and no way home.
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4 out of 5 stars
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a Fun, Educational, Fantasy Adventure
- By Ginny on 09-12-13
By: Lars Guignard
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While I Live
- The Ellie Chronicles
- By: John Marsden
- Narrated by: Suzi Dougherty
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 165
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 107
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 107
The town of Wirrawee is emerging from war, slowly, like a flower after a cold snap. Businesses are starting to reopen, the school has re-commenced classes, and local farmers are gradually repossessing their land. But it's not the same Australia as before the war. A new nation exists just a few miles away, a new border that separates Australia from its invaders. Or does it?
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3 out of 5 stars
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What accent is it spoken in?
- By Kim on 03-06-05
By: John Marsden
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Chicken Soup for the Child's Soul: Character-Building Stories to Read with Kids Ages 5 - 8
- By: Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen
- Narrated by: Leslie Bellair
- Length: 4 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 67
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 51
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 51
Today's children live in a world filled with adventure, mental stimulation, topical issues, and personal challenges. The values they learn now, between the ages of 5 and 8, will shape the rest of their lives. Through this collection of heartfelt true stories about family ties, helping neighbors, and lasting friendships, children will see how other kids their age have learned valuable lessons from the choices they've made - and most of all, they will realize that they are not alone in dealing with some of the difficult issues in their lives.
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5 out of 5 stars
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My kids love these
- By shrockin on 12-22-15
By: Jack Canfield, and others
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Tooth Trouble (Ready, Freddy! #1)
- By: Abby Klein, John McKinley
- Narrated by: Fred Berman
- Length: 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 56
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 41
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 41
Freddy Thresher has a problem: a really, really, big problem. He's the only one in his class who hasn't lost a tooth! All of the other students in Mrs. Wushy's first grade have signed their names on the Big Tooth, and Freddy's determined to get his name on it, too. So when Max "The Meanie" Sellars calls Freddy a baby, Freddy decides he's going to lose that tooth one way or another, even if it means getting punched in the face at recess, and even bigger trouble, with Mom!
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fred Berman is one of the best sound artist
- By Jenny Chang on 03-21-11
By: Abby Klein, and others
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A Boy Called Christmas Movie Tie-In Edition
- By: Matt Haig
- Narrated by: Stephen Fry
- Length: 4 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 542
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 460
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 457
Eleven-year-old Nikolas - nicknamed "Christmas" - has received only one toy in his life: a doll carved out of a turnip. But he's happy with his turnip doll, because it came from his parents, who love him. Then one day his father goes missing, and Nikolas must travel to the North Pole to save him. Along the way Nikolas befriends a surly reindeer, bests a troublesome troll, and discovers a hidden world of enchantment in the frozen village of Elfhelm.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wonderful magical story!
- By Twin Cities gal on 01-01-18
By: Matt Haig
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An Abundance of Katherines
- By: John Green
- Narrated by: Jeff Woodman
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 348
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 297
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 296
When it comes to relationships, Colin Singleton’s type is girls named Katherine. And when it comes to girls named Katherine, Colin is always getting dumped. Nineteen times, to be exact. On a road trip miles from home, this anagram-happy, washed-up child prodigy has $10,000 in his pocket, a bloodthirsty feral hog on his trail, and an overweight, Judge Judy-loving best friend riding shotgun - but no Katherines.
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1 out of 5 stars
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struggled to finish listening
- By Daniel on 03-11-20
By: John Green
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The Fat Man
- A Tale of North Pole Noir
- By: Ken Harmon
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 5 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 100
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 81
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Story4 out of 5 stars 81
Fired from his longtime job as captain of the Coal Patrol, two-foot-three-inch, 1,300-year-old elf Gumdrop Coal is angry. He's one of Santa's original elves, inspired by the fat man's vision to bring joy to children on that one special day each year. But somewhere along the way, things went sour for Gumdrop. Maybe it was delivering one too many lumps of coal for the Naughty List. Maybe it's the conspiracy against Christmas that he's starting to sense down every chimney.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fantastic Holiday Listen
- By PastorJim on 12-17-10
By: Ken Harmon
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There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
- By: Paula Poundstone
- Narrated by: Paula Poundstone
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 577
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 362
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Story4 out of 5 stars 357
What do the lives of Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and other historical figures have in common with Paula Poundstone? In the hands of this wryly observant and self-deprecating comedian, the answer is outrageously funny and unexpectedly touching. Poundstone compares her crazy life to theirs, as she holds forth on her children, her career, and the time in her life when it appeared she would lose them both.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More!
- By Evelyn on 02-11-07
By: Paula Poundstone