Motherhood Is F--king Scary
Quotes and Banter that Will Have You Scream-Laughing Through the Horrors of Motherhood
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Motherhood Is F--king Scary
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Narrated by:
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Sienna Hees
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By:
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Serena Dorman
About this listen
For fans of My Little Occult Book Club and Sh*ty Mom, Motherhood Is F--king Scary is a deliciously dark humor audiobook that combines two unlikely genres that have a lot of similarities: parenting and horror. This novelty parenting audiobook includes swear quotes, fun quizzes, audio that will have you shaking the bed trying to stifle laughter, and references that will scratch your nostalgic horror/pop-culture itch.
A hug of solidarity to spooky moms who feel underrepresented in the realm of motherhood, and who don’t have time to read a book from cover to cover in one sitting (because you’re a mom, you don’t sit!)
A gift for mom that’s so good it’s scary, Motherhood Is F--king Scary is the perfect gift for moms just trying to survive the hell circus that is motherhood. Play it up to any line for a quick, hilarious getaway.
Spooky fun. Relatable humor with an edge.
©2021 Serena Dorman (P)2021 Serena DormanListeners also enjoyed...
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-
Best Audio Book I’ve heard ever.
- By M on 11-23-17
By: Matt Bellassai
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Any Man
- A Novel
- By: Amber Tamblyn
- Narrated by: Glenn Davis, Robin Miles, Therese Plummer, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 489
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 446
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Story4 out of 5 stars 445
In this electric and provocative debut novel, Amber Tamblyn blends genres of poetry, prose, and elements of suspense to give shape to the shocking narratives of victims of sexual violence, mapping the destructive ways in which our society perpetuates rape culture, brilliantly brought to life through a multi-voice performance featuring Glenn Davis, Ben Foster, Marc Maron, Jason Ritter, John Roberts, Russ Tamblyn, Amber Tamblyn, January Lavoy, Phoebe Strole, Robin Miles, Thérèse Plummer, Dan Bittner, James Fouhey, and Michael Crouch.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I've been finished with this for hours
- By Bill on 06-29-18
By: Amber Tamblyn
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Make Something Up
- Stories You Can't Unread
- By: Chuck Palahniuk
- Narrated by: Chuck Palahniuk, Scott Sowers, Rich Orlow, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 483
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 434
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 431
For years Chuck Palahniuk has reserved his best storytelling for his readings, often choosing to read a new short story instead of whatever novel he is supposed to be promoting. Make Something Up compiles these previously unpublished tales for the very first time, plus the Byliner social media insta-classic "Phoenix" and Palahniuk's most notable pieces from Playboy.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Plenty of shock, just not enough Palahniuk awe
- By Darwin8u on 06-10-15
By: Chuck Palahniuk
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Bloodsucking Fiends
- A Love Story
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 4,631
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,268
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,290
A striking red-head, 20-something Jody is attacked and transformed into a vampire while walking home one night in downtown San Francisco. Befriending 19-year-old Tommy, Jody tries to understand her new undead life, but trouble finds her when the cops start suspecting Tommy of being a local bloodsucking serial killer.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Bloodsucking FUN!
- By SHEILA on 10-02-08
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The Black Wolves of Boston
- By: Wen Spencer
- Narrated by: Ian Alan Carlsen, Corey Gagne, J. Paul Guimont, and others
- Length: 18 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 766
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 694
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 693
Silas Decker had his world destroyed when he was attacked by vampires outside of New Amsterdam. He has rebuilt his life a dozen times in the last 300 years - each time less and less successfully. Now he lives alone, buried under a hoarding habit, struggling to find some reason to wake up with the setting of the sun.
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5 out of 5 stars
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One heck of a fun book
- By Elisabeth Carey on 04-15-17
By: Wen Spencer
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Everything You Ever Wanted
- A Memoir
- By: Jillian Lauren
- Narrated by: Jillian Lauren
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 71
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 62
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Story5 out of 5 stars 60
In her younger years, Jillian Lauren was a college dropout, a drug addict, and an international concubine in the Prince of Brunei's harem, an experience she immortalized in her best-selling memoir, Some Girls. In her 30s, Jillian's most radical act is learning the steadying power of love when she and her rock star husband adopt an Ethiopian child with special needs.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great for adoptive families
- By berry bomb on 07-06-22
By: Jillian Lauren
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 868
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 797
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 796
In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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3 out of 5 stars
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
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Nightlife
- By: Rob Thurman
- Narrated by: Patrick Lawlor
- Length: 11 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 629
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 530
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Story4 out of 5 stars 535
In New York, there's a troll under the Brooklyn Bridge, a boggle in Central Park, and a beautiful vampire in a penthouse on the Upper East Side. Of course, most humans are oblivious to this, but Cal Leandros is only half-human. His father's dark lineage is the stuff of nightmares - and he and his entire otherworldly race are after Cal.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Excellent debut for promising new series
- By Tracey on 03-28-13
By: Rob Thurman
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The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club
- True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 68
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 61
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Story4 out of 5 stars 61
Introducing Laurie Notaro, the leader of the Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club. Every day she fearlessly rises from bed to defeat the evil machinations of dolts, dimwits, and creepy boyfriends - and that's before she even puts on a bra. For the past 10 years, Notaro has been entertaining Phoenix newspaper readers with her wildly amusing autobiographical exploits and unique life experiences.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Sweet and funny
- By Julia Valentin on 12-19-20
By: Laurie Notaro
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#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,809
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,584
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,572
In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
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5 out of 5 stars
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IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
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Tiger, Tiger
- A Memoir
- By: Margaux Fragoso
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett
- Length: 12 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 233
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 200
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 200
One summer day, Margaux Fragoso meets Peter Curran at the neighborhood swimming pool, and they begin to play. She is seven; he is 51. When Peter invites her and her mother to his house, the little girl finds a child’s paradise of exotic pets and an elaborate backyard garden. Her mother, beset by mental illness and overwhelmed by caring for Margaux, is grateful for the attention Peter lavishes on her, and he creates an imaginative universe for her, much as Lewis Carroll did for his real-life Alice.
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3 out of 5 stars
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a weirdly loving diatribe against pervs.
- By Dane Flakeman on 05-21-11
By: Margaux Fragoso
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 44
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 41
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Story4 out of 5 stars 40
Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 365
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 325
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Story4 out of 5 stars 322
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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2 out of 5 stars
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 539
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 488
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Story4 out of 5 stars 489
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
- By: Paula Poundstone
- Narrated by: Paula Poundstone
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 577
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 362
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Story4 out of 5 stars 357
What do the lives of Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and other historical figures have in common with Paula Poundstone? In the hands of this wryly observant and self-deprecating comedian, the answer is outrageously funny and unexpectedly touching. Poundstone compares her crazy life to theirs, as she holds forth on her children, her career, and the time in her life when it appeared she would lose them both.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More!
- By Evelyn on 02-11-07
By: Paula Poundstone
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True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness
- A Feminist Coming of Age
- By: Christine Lahti
- Narrated by: Christine Lahti
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 33
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 32
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Story4 out of 5 stars 31
For decades, actress and director Christine Lahti has captivated the hearts and minds of her audience through iconic roles in Chicago Hope, Running on Empty, Housekeeping, And Justice for All, Swing Shift, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, God of Carnage, and The Blacklist. Now, in True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness, this acclaimed performer channels her creativity inward to share her own story for the first time.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Christine Lahti, Actress, Activist and A+ Author!
- By L. Cat Schultz on 10-26-18
By: Christine Lahti