Love and Trouble

A Midlife Reckoning

By: Claire Dederer

Narrated by: Claire Dederer

From the New York Times best-selling author of Poser: My Life in Twenty-Three Yoga Poses, a ferocious, sexy, hilarious memoir about going off the rails at midlife and trying to reconcile the girl she was with the woman she has become.

Claire Dederer is a happily married mother of two, ages nine and 12, when she suddenly finds herself totally despondent and, simultaneously, suffering through a kind of erotic reawakening. This exuberant memoir shifts between her present experience as a middle-aged mom in the grip of mysterious new hungers and herself as a teenager - when she last experienced life with such heightened sensitivity and longing.

From her hilarious chapter titles ("How to Have Sex with Your Husband of Seventeen Years") to her subjects - from the boyfriend she dumped at 14 the moment she learned how to give herself an orgasm, to the girls who ruled her elite private school ("when I left Oberlin I thought I had done with them forever, but it turned out...they also edited all the newspapers and magazines, and wrote all the books"), to raising a teenage daughter herself - Dederer writes with an electrifying blend of wry wit and raw honesty. She exposes herself utterly, and in doing so captures something universal about the experience of being a woman, a daughter, a wife.

©2017 Claire Dederer (P)2017 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

"When I got my hands on Claire Dederer's new book, I instantly turned off my phone, cancelled all my appointments, curled up in bed, and read all day in grateful - and thoughtful - abandon. As always, I was delighted with what I found in her writing. Dederer is not only a brilliant author, but an honest and brave one, who is not afraid to deep-dive into her own history and her own heart in order to examine what it really means to be a woman right now. Love and Trouble is a book caused me to think differently about marriage, about intimacy, about middle-age, and especially about what it means to have once been a sexually adventurous teenage girl. I saw myself all over these pages, and a think a lot of other readers will, as well." (Elizabeth Gilbert)

Emotionally Intense!

I am 3 years old older, also a life resident of Seattle. This book was was VERY graphic in detail, for me, uncomfortably so. Some, but not just like my experience.

Disturbing yet beautifully written and insightful

Being one year younger than Claire, I can relate both to her young self in the 70s 80s and 90s and in my 40s with honestly the scare of getting older. Loved this book can relate to it when it comes to pop culture, philosophy, being a woman of my generation, You rock intelligent Claire Dederer and I'm totally heterosexual lol,

Absorbing but absorbed

The author writes well but I found her self-absorbed. In the end, of course that is the point of writing it but many people write memoirs without wallowing quite as much as she does. She mentioned Mary Karr. Add to that, she is self-loathing even when she came to what she thought were revelations. I find that sad. Finally, I kept thinking of my own kids reading something like this and found it cringeworthy. That might have been my biggest problem with the book. She needed to wait until they were old enough to have established their own perspectives and desires.

Honest, moving… did not want it to end.

The way she shares her experiences, perspectives, feelings and the way she connects things, combined with her willingness to share raw moments is unique and moving. And her voice—both her literal voice as in the voice she writes with, and her literal voice as in she narrates this audiobook, are exceptional and lovely. Claire Dederer is my new favorite writer.

So well written !

After getting over the author’s incessant life privilege, I could enjoy the book. I love her writing and style of weaving descriptive moments into transitions. I also appreciate how she positions women’s mid-life sexuality in our culture.

Clipped and to the point.

Sense of humor and raw display of honesty spoken with a voice that makes you want to keep listening and become Claire's friend. .

Gritty wonderful terrible truth.

I really loved this book. I thought I that Claire hits dead on about the difficulties and joys that come with being a woman heading into middle age. It was hard to hear sometimes but let me tell you something, the truth generally is.

Nailed it

I no longer feel alone. Comforting to know that eventhough the narratives of our life are different, our struggles as women approaching middle age are the same.

Interesting theme

I enjoyed the book overall, but was a little surprised by the way it ended, seemed a little too abrupt. Was definitely thought provoking. Things already feel different for the modern young woman and girl, however we should not forget important lessons learned over the last few decades on how we can and should both protect women and girls and give them their freedom. I think the next big push needs to be on how to raise boys to confidently play an important role in contributing to the reality of a free and safe world for females.

Refreshing, original, painfully honest and well written

Listening to this book is worth your time, especially for women of the boomer generation. It examines the sexual dilemmas of feminists who grew up in 70's, their role as mothers to ensure "safety or freedom" for their daughters. There are also funny anecdotes about the vicissitudes of author promoting their books in the boondocks,