Love Him or Leave Him, But Don't Get Stuck with the Tab
Hilarious Advice for Real Women
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Love Him or Leave Him, But Don't Get Stuck with the Tab
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Narrated by:
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Loni Love
About this listen
That's the message of this fresh and funny relationship book by beloved actress-comedian Loni Love. Full of down-to-earth advice on love, sex, and dating, Loni delivers answers to women's most pressing relationship questions along with plenty of hilarious been-there-done-that tales - from hooking up to breaking up to everything in between.
As Loni says, "You can love him or you can leave him, but the day a man starts taking advantage of you is when you need to remember that putting yourself first is the most important step in finding love. That's the foundation for all the advice I give, because it's a message so many women need to hear, over and over, like multiple orgasms."
Sure you can act like a lady and think like a man, or admit that he's just not that into you, but the path to lasting love is looking out for number one and treating yourself like the great catch you are.
If you're in a great relationship, Loni gives tips on keeping it strong. (Love him.) If you're having problems that seem insurmountable, she tells you how to extricate yourself from difficult situations. (Leave him.) But no matter what, don't let yourself get bullied, cheated on, or taken advantage of (aka Stuck with the tab). Every woman deserves a healthy, satisfying, exciting love life, so what are you waiting for? Loni Love has all the answers.
©2013 Loni Love (P)2013 Simon & SchusterListeners also enjoyed...
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Story4 out of 5 stars 45
Most dating books are written for women - what a mistake that is. Women know how to date....It's men who need the help! At last: a blithe, bold, and bawdy guide to building a better boyfriend.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Can't Stop Laughing
- By Marshall on 06-13-07
By: Felicity Huffman, and others
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I Don’t Care about Your Band
- What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I’ve Dated
- By: Julie Klausner
- Narrated by: Julie Klausner
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 339
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 307
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Story4 out of 5 stars 309
In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care about Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love - and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage. I Don't Care about Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Shopping for Men at the Wrong Mall
- By Pamela Harvey on 01-02-13
By: Julie Klausner
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 539
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 488
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Story4 out of 5 stars 489
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,809
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,584
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,572
In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
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5 out of 5 stars
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IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
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After I'm Gone
- A Novel
- By: Laura Lippman
- Narrated by: Linda Emond
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 846
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 736
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Story4 out of 5 stars 741
Dead is dead. Missing is gone. When Felix Brewer meets nineteen-year-old Bernadette "Bambi" Gottschalk at a Valentine's Day dance in 1959, he charms her with wild promises, some of which he actually keeps. Thanks to his lucrative - if not all legal - businesses, she and their three little girls live in luxury. But on the Fourth of July in 1976, Bambi's comfortable world implodes when Felix, facing prison, vanishes. Though Bambi has no idea where her husband - or his money - might be, she suspects one woman does: his devoted young mistress, Julie.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Cannot rate this highly enough!
- By C. Vincent on 03-05-14
By: Laura Lippman
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I Like You Just the Way I Am
- Stories About Me and Some Other People
- By: Jenny Mollen
- Narrated by: Jenny Mollen
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 835
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 745
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 737
Jenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free shit and she doesn't). She doesn't want much from life. Just to be loved - by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends' dogs, her husband, her husband's ex-girlfriends, her husband's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends, etc.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Hmm...Why am I listening to a bio of Jenny Mollen?
- By Elisabeth W. on 09-16-15
By: Jenny Mollen
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The Longest Date
- Life as a Wife
- By: Cindy Chupack
- Narrated by: Cindy Chupack, Ian Wallach
- Length: 4 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 65
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 55
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Story4 out of 5 stars 56
After having endured enough emotional wreckage in her search for true love to fill a book ( The New York Times bestseller The Between Boyfriends Book), two magazine columns, and five seasons of scripts for Sex and the City, Cindy Chupack finally, mercifully, at the age of thirty-nine, met the Perfect Man. The perfect companion for anyone navigating a marriage (or even just contemplating one), The Longest Date marks the welcome return of one of our most gifted and captivating comic writers.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Meh...
- By Jessica K. on 11-07-18
By: Cindy Chupack
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 44
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 41
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Story4 out of 5 stars 40
Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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The Wrong End of the Table
- A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit In
- By: Ayser Salman, Reza Aslan - foreword
- Narrated by: Ayser Salman, Assaf Cohen
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 46
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 35
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Story4 out of 5 stars 34
Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not what I was looking for
- By Amazon Customer on 09-01-22
By: Ayser Salman, and others
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The Boy Next Door: A Novel
- Boy Series 1
- By: Meg Cabot
- Narrated by: Carly Robins
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 40
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 32
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 32
This is a message from the Human Resources Division of the New York Journal, New York City's leading photo-newspaper. Please be aware that according to our records you have not yet listened to this book. What exactly are you waiting for? This book has it all: humor, romance, cooking tips, Great Danes, heroine in peril, and dolphin-shaped driftwood sculptures. If you wish to hear about any of the above, please do not hesitate to scroll to the top of this page, where you will find the button to help you buy this book. Sincerely, Human Resources Division, New York Journal
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5 out of 5 stars
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Description doesn’t give summary
- By Tara on 10-19-23
By: Meg Cabot
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Dirty Thirty
- By: Asa Akira
- Narrated by: Veronica Worthington
- Length: 5 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 161
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 147
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Story4 out of 5 stars 145
As she contemplates turning 30 years old while still being in the adult film trade, Asa Akira, author of the best-seller Insatiable, delves into her past, present, and future, exploring the events that brought her to where she is now and the surprising and insightful plans she has for her future. Internationally known as a porn star, Akira's perceptive, funny, and straightforward writings on love, sex, death, marriage, and celebrity come together in a surprising book of essays.
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5 out of 5 stars
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this was fun I'm going to buy her other book 2
- By Sir Lawrence on 01-09-19
By: Asa Akira
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The Art of the Pimp
- One Man's Search for Love, Sex, and Money
- By: Dennis Hof
- Narrated by: Kevin Stillwell
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 123
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 112
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 112
Dennis Hof, proprietor of the world-famous Moonlite Bunny Ranch brothel and the P.T. Barnum of prostitution, charts his path to fame and infamy, while dispensing homespun wisdom about sex, sales, money, and how to live as the country's most recognizable pimp. In The Art of the Pimp, Dennis Hof offers a hilarious, insightful, behind-the-scenes look at life as the proprietor of The Moonlight Bunny Ranch, the world's most famous legal brothel, and recounts his chaotic life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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if you love the sex industry then yell love this
- By Amazon Customer on 11-28-17
By: Dennis Hof
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In Love with a Younger Man
- By: Cheryl Robinson
- Narrated by: Nikki Amsterdam
- Length: 11 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 72
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 62
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Story4 out of 5 stars 62
Olena Day’s first love died tragically, and her college boyfriend left her for nother woman. Now a successful, independent 43-year-old,she begins a passionate relationship with Matthew, a man 18 years her junior. Can a relationship finally end happily-ever-after for Olena—or will it be torn apart once again?
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2 out of 5 stars
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A Sequel Will Be Coming From This...
- By Leejorae on 03-15-10
By: Cheryl Robinson
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The Southern Education of a Jersey Girl
- Adventures in Life and Love in the Heart of Dixie
- By: Jaime Primak Sullivan
- Narrated by: Jaime Primak Sullivan
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 337
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 305
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 302
Jaime Primak Sullivan, a Jersey-bred, tough-as-nails PR maven - and unlikely transplant in an upscale suburb of Birmingham, Alabama - has spent her entire life crossing the line: whether she's pushing the boundaries of what proper Southern ladies consider to be "polite behavior" or literally traversing the Mason-Dixon line in the name of love. She isn't afraid to say what everyone is thinking when it comes to love, sex, friendship, and many other topics that are all too often sugar-coated in polite Southern company.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Awesome book
- By Gwendolyn on 09-23-16
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People I Want to Punch in the Throat
- Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges
- By: Jen Mann
- Narrated by: Jen Mann
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 98
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 86
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Story4 out of 5 stars 87
Jen Mann doesn't have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of moms' night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship, nothing's sacred or off-limits.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Boring, not funny, and kind of mean
- By Jess on 11-22-19
By: Jen Mann
What listeners say about Love Him or Leave Him, But Don't Get Stuck with the Tab
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Tara
- 02-11-16
Worth the read
This has great examples & I really enjoyed this book. I will be sharing it on my Facebook wall. Koodoos to you Loni Love!👏🏾👏🏾
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Colleen Massaro
- 07-25-18
Some funny sh!t
Going through a break up and I needed a good laugh...and got it with this audiobook.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Rebecca
- 10-27-14
Quick, funny, and good.
Quick read that had me laughing out loud in my car. I feel like I know her now! Can she be my best friend?
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Marla
- 06-23-15
Loved !
I loved this ! Thank you Loni for such an amazing read I truly enjoyed it cover to cover
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Diane
- 06-13-15
I like her thinking!
Funny and thoughtful, I like Ms. Loves's thinking. She seems to be an educated, smart, good-hearted woman who has seen a lot and gives her opinion on men.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Mariella
- 06-02-15
Great quick book
Love Lonis advice and humor. Would like to have a longer book for his next book, I think she can have Tina's success.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Sea Sharks
- 08-22-15
Listened twice,good sound advice .# hilarious #
She is your honest aunt your Frank friend maybe that complete stranger.
Hilarious but truthful. I'm proud to see her accomplish visions in her life God bless you Girl!!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- TISHAMA KING
- 01-11-23
A MUST LISTEN - IT'S BETTER STRAIGHT FROM LONI
Absolutely love this book. will give a copy to my daughter. and maybe her friends.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Hellenista
- 02-26-19
I enjoyed every laugh that was given!
Full of great advice through experiences, as well as details and stories! I was so pleased that Ms. Love read her own book. I would definitely recommend, if not for the advice (even though I consider most of the advice...useable), then for the lightheartedness and laughter!...lol
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- emily day
- 07-13-21
Love
I love Loni Love books and they are the best when she reads them. Keeps me wanting more. Great job
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