Losing Ourselves

Learning to Live Without a Self

By: Jay L. Garfield

Narrated by: Eric Meyers

This audiobook narrated by Eric Meyers reveals why you don’t have a self—and why that’s a good thing

In Losing Ourselves, Jay Garfield, a leading expert on Buddhist philosophy, offers a brief and radically clear account of an idea that at first might seem frightening but that promises to liberate us and improve our lives, our relationships, and the world. Drawing on Indian and East Asian Buddhism, Daoism, Western philosophy, and cognitive neuroscience, Garfield shows why it is perfectly natural to think you have a self—and why it actually makes no sense at all and is even dangerous. Most importantly, he explains why shedding the illusion that you have a self can make you a better person.

Examining a wide range of arguments for and against the existence of the self, Losing Ourselves makes the case that there are not only good philosophical and scientific reasons to deny the reality of the self, but that we can lead healthier social and moral lives if we understand that we are selfless persons. The book describes why the Buddhist idea of no-self is so powerful and why it has immense practical benefits, helping us to abandon egoism, act more morally and ethically, be more spontaneous, perform more expertly, and navigate ordinary life more skillfully. Getting over the self-illusion also means escaping the isolation of self-identity and becoming a person who participates with others in the shared enterprise of life.

The result is a transformative book about why we have nothing to lose—and everything to gain—by losing our selves.

©2022 Jay L. Garfield (P)2022 Princeton University Press

Critic reviews

"Popular books on the illusion of self tend to be crass and sensationalist, the academic ones dull and turgid. Jay L. Garfield has successfully followed the less trodden middle way. As a result, the promise of losing yourself in a book has never been more literal."—Julian Baggini, Times Literary Supplement

“Wise, useful, and surprising, this is a remarkable and brave exploration of selflessness and personhood by the brilliant Buddhist scholar and philosopher Jay Garfield. It is a book for our time, when the author opens for the reader the ethical implications of selflessness, and, to quote him, ‘what it means for our understanding of our place in the world.’ A wonderful book.”—Roshi Joan Halifax, Zen Buddhist teacher and author of Being with Dying

“Losing Ourselves exemplifies cross-cultural philosophy at its very finest, bringing seminal insights from both Western and Asian thinkers to bear on a single vexed but pressing issue—the nature of the self. In spite of the complexities of the topic and the source texts he adduces, Garfield’s writing is unfailingly accessible and lively. And equally important, Losing Ourselves is a testament to the rewards gained by, and indeed the urgent need for, the pursuit of philosophy in a more cosmopolitan mode.”—Robert Sharf, chair of the Center for Buddhist Studies, University of California, Berkeley

We are all interconnected.

This is a thought provoking book, humanity needs to overhaul the paradigm. The left braincentric ego driven civilization of the west needs to wake up and realize we're all in this together.

noself brought to light

this book was great if you have ever struggled with comprehending the philosophy of noself.

Makes sense

The idea of being a socially enacted person is being no-self. I really enjoyed this sensible way of coating what and who we are.

Best Explanation and Integration of Non-Dualism

I’ve never heard such a clear and concise explanation of non-duality in practice. Garfield’s understanding of Western and Asian philosophy is a great benefit. After nearly a month of listening time to date, this is the best book I’ve listened to on Audible by far.

Clear and approachable

Selflessness can be a hefty subject, but in this book it presented in a clear and easy to understand way. I also liked that the author also explains why it matters in every day life. Highly recommended!

Important and accessible

This is the most thorough and comprehensible work on the topic of selflessness I've come across. The audiobook was a joy to listen to. Thank you Jay Garfield and Eric Meyers.

Amazing!

Jay is in full form on this one! A read that may change the way in which you perceive all of reality.

Losing the self

I purchased the book as I’ve heard an interview of the author with Sam Harris. The conversation left an impression on me, so I was glad to find an audiobook book by Jay Garfield.

Note - I found a few chapters in the middle of the book to be numbing. The philosophical refutation of different views of the self was challenging to digest, having passing knowledge of the differing philosophical arguments about the subject matter.

However, having familiarity with non-dual practice, the chapters on ethics and values were invaluable. I purchased a paperback version of the book to go over slowly at my own pace.

Understanding “not having a self”

This is a wonderful concise synthesis for those wrestling with the concept of selflessness. I found it to be extremely helpful to get oriented to the topic. Jay Garfield successfully helps to square eastern empiric/intellectual wisdom with the modern “western” societal and scientific advances in a very accessible way to layman like myself. It is an intellectual framework that can assist in meditation practice and has applications to many other subjects. The voice actor is excellent. Great job.

Clear and comprehensive

Thank you Jay Garfield! You have an amazing ability to explain these complex and counter intuitive insights in such a clear and comprehensive manny. I will recommend this book to other persons.