Leaving Isn't the Hardest Thing

Essays

By: Lauren Hough

Narrated by: Cate Blanchett, Lauren Hough

A New York Times Best Seller

"A memoir in essays about so many things - growing up in an abusive cult, coming of age as a lesbian in the military, forced out by homophobia, living on the margins as a working class woman and what it’s like to grow into the person you are meant to be. Hough’s writing will break your heart." (Roxane Gay, author of Bad Feminist)

Searing and extremely personal essays, shot through with the darkest elements America can manifest, while discovering light and humor in unexpected corners.

As an adult, Lauren Hough has had many identities: an airman in the US Air Force, a cable guy, a bouncer at a gay club. As a child, however, she had none. Growing up as a member of the infamous cult The Children of God, Hough had her own self robbed from her. The cult took her all over the globe - to Germany, Japan, Texas, Chile - but it wasn't until she finally left for good that Lauren understood she could have a life beyond "The Family".

Along the way, she's loaded up her car and started over, trading one life for the next. She's taken pilgrimages to the sights of her youth, been kept in solitary confinement, dated a lot of women, dabbled in drugs, and eventually found herself as what she always wanted to be: a writer. Here, as she sweeps through the underbelly of America - relying on friends, family, and strangers alike - she begins to excavate a new identity even as her past continues to trail her and color her world, relationships, and perceptions of self.

At once razor-sharp, profoundly brave, and often very, very funny, the essays in Leaving Isn't the Hardest Thing interrogate our notions of ecstasy, queerness, and what it means to live freely. Each piece is a reckoning: of survival, identity, and how to reclaim one's past when carving out a future.

A Vintage Original

©2021 Lauren Hough (P)2021 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

One of the Best Books of the Year: NPR, The Philadelphia Inquirer

“Lauren Hough's Leaving Isn't the Hardest Thing is so brilliant, so humane and pissed off and hysterically funny and thought-provoking, and so beautifully written it's hard to describe except to say that it's a book that is going to mean a lot to a lot of people, and it might cause some fights, and you better read it so you can have the pleasure of reading it and the pleasure of talking about it with everyone. She is the kind of extraordinary writer who could make anything interesting; that these essays are about her own astonishing life, written with a clear eye and a sense of humor so quick and black it hurts, and a kind of ruthlessness for herself and others, means it's like no other book anywhere. I loved every sentence.” (Elizabeth McCracken, author of Bowlaway)

“Lauren Hough is the best new voice I’ve read in years: fiercely honest, funny, brazen, and unrepentant. Best of all, the propulsive storytelling of Leaving Isn’t the Hardest Thing is anchored by an unexpected tenderness and vulnerability that will get you by the throat every damn time. Like a petulant cross between David Sedaris and Mary Karr, Hough is the genuine article. Leaving might not be the hardest thing, but leaving this vibrant, heart-wrenching memoir behind is damn near impossible.” (Heather Havrilesky, Ask Polly columnist and author of What If This Were Enough?)

"Lauren Hough’s extraordinary essay collection Leaving Isn’t the Hardest Thing is as powerful as it is poignant. So many moments in this exceptionally crafted essays brought me to tears and before long I would find myself laughing as Hough wielded her razor sharp wit. This is a memoir in essays about so many things — growing up in an abusive cult, coming of age as a lesbian in the military, forced out by homophobia, living on the margins as a working class woman and what it’s like to grow into the person you are meant to be. Hough’s writing will break your heart.... This is one of those rare books that will instantly become part of the literary canon and the world of letters will be better for it." (Roxane Gay, author of Difficult Women)

This memoir is personal to the marrow.

I fell in love with Lauren Hough while listening to her memoir Leaving Isn’t the Hardest Thing. I fell in love with her thinking. Her pain. The way she adapts to her world. The harshness of her. The vulnerable parts of her.

I fell hard. I’m still in love. I will probably never get over her.

In Leaving Isn’t the Hardest Thing, Hough writes of her childhood being born into The Children of God cult and being a closeted lesbian as an adult.

This memoir is personal to the marrow. It’s so brutally honest that it seems like Hough doesn’t see the brutality of her childhood. To Hough, it just was her childhood.

My only complaint is that the actress Cate Blanchette read a couple of chapters. That was unneeded and unwanted. I loved listening to Hough narrate. When Hough was narrating her memoir, it felt like I was in a room with Hough sharing a six-pack of beer at the end of a very long day.

difficult but rewarding

narrators were very good..story is difficult but rewarding. thank you for writing this, Lauren Hough.

Honest and brilliant

I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I started. What a ride. Heartbreaking, brutal, and honest. I loved and cried for the whole ride. Thank you.

What A Trip

The honesty in this book is refreshing. Tough and refreshing.
The author takes us on her unique journey through life. A cult, the military, being gay, making friends, a car fire, work experiences. One of the most memorable moments for me was finding out what a girl does when she's broke and mugged.
I laughed, I didn't cry (just kidding, I might have), I felt concern, I felt relief. I enjoyed it. I very much look forward to Lauren Hough's next publication.

unpopular opinion

I loved the book. Lauren thank you. Write more. Forget your critics. Power on always.

Wow

Great book of essays. Hough has a natural voice, which lends itself to telling her story.

Radical Honesty From a True Artist

This is a great audio book -- I generally don't like when authors read their own work but preferred the voice of Lauren over that of Cate Blanchett. Cate is a fantastic actress and does a wonderful job but Lauren's voice added to the honesty stacked on honesty of these essays.

This books has some controversies due to some responses by Hough to her readers. I understand that members of Goodreads are upset with Lauren for some unnecessary verbal assaults on readers who actually liked her book, but that does not diminish that this is an exceptional collection of essays written with a searing honesty from an original and needed voice. I am not surprised that the author insulted her supporters -- this would be typical of the self-sabotaging behavior she describes, something rooted in her very complex upbringing as a gay female raised in the Christian sex cult, The Children of God. Ms. Hough was mistaken to insult her readers but it does not diminish the power of her writing and the extraordinary content of this beautifully written book. It's a portrait of Lauren's bizarre, marginal upbringing and the consequent emotional damage and loneliness that follows in trying to find a better place.

I love books that are confessional and have emotional and factual honesty and in this regard, this book is 1000% successful. I also love books that transport me to different worlds -- inner worlds -- and take me to places I don't know which is the other way this book succeeds. My mind is expanded after getting a look inside that of this author. She also takes on one of my great fascinations: the dynamics of cults and she writes about them as an insider. Her observations on cults and religions aren't likely to sit well with those who belong to one.

I can no longer watch films by Woody Allen, someone I once deeply admired, after learning about his behavior with his own child and other minors. Every time I see a painting by Picasso it's marred for me because of his infamous abusive behavior. Lauren Hough made the mistake of insulting her readers which is hardly the same thing. If she wants to apologize for how she responded, I would welcome that and so would her readers. But knowing what she's been through I do understand why she is the way she is. Her rudeness cannot take away from the quality of these essays.

This is a genuine artist speaking her truth.

Survivor Story

Really well written. I like how the author jumped around through timelines and wove it all together. Really a difficult subject to write about. Well done! Great narration as well.

Amazing Debut Novel!

Raw, funny, and Insightful. Hough's life experience laid out, but it's her understanding of the world, depression, and hope that keeps you turning the page.

Beautifully done.

So beautifully written, sad, poignant, and at times funny. It makes you face the realities of the marginalized in society. What a journey Lauren has been through.