Lame of Thrones
The Final Book in a Song of Hot and Cold
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Lame of Thrones
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Narrated by:
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Joshua Manning
About this listen
From Harvard's legendary humor publication comes an outrageous, uproariously funny parody of Game of Thrones, in the tradition of their previous best-selling parody book classics Bored of the Rings, Nightlight, and The Hunger Pains.
An affectionate but take-no-prisoners send-up of the massive literary and television franchise, Lame of Thrones offers fans a way of reentering the fictional world they have come to love and merrily explodes all of its conventions - as well as their expectations of the characters - to hilarious ends. It may even leave you more satisfied than the actual TV ending of Game of Thrones. In fact, if it doesn't the Lampoon has really dropped the ball.
Lame of Thrones will take you to Westopolis, where several extremely attractive egomaniacs are vying to be ruler of the realm and sit on the Pointy Chair. Our hero Jon Dough was a likely bet, but his untimely murder at the hands of his own men of the Night's Crotch has made that seem less likely. Will Dragon Queen Dennys Grandslam escape from her Clothkhaki captors and return to conquer the world? Or will she just get left in the desert counting grains of sand for the rest of the book? And what about Jon Dough's siblings? Will they be mentioned? Probably? Almost definitely, yes? It would be weird if they weren't prominent characters in the book, you say?
To find out, listen to the book you wish George R.R. Martin would write but never will. The Lampoon - the place where such comedy writers and performers as Conan O'Brien, Colin Jost, B.J. Novak, Patricia Marx, Alan Yang, Andy Borowitz and many more all got their start - is ready to serve parody notice to the most entertaining, infuriating, and inescapable cultural phenomenon of the past decade.
©2020 The Harvard Lampoon (P)2020 Hachette AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 99
Jia's people learned the hard way that there are no second chances. The Egril, their ancient enemy, struck with magic so devastating that Jia's armies were wiped out. Now terror reigns in the streets, and friend turns on friend just to live another day. Somehow Tinnstra - a deserter, a failure, nothing but a coward - survived. She wants no more than to hide from the chaos. But dragged into a desperate plot to retake Jia, surrounded by people willing to do anything to win the fight, this time Tinnstra will need to do more than hide.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Criminally Underrated Gem in a world of Dark Fantasy
- By Nic on 04-24-23
By: Mike Shackle
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Death Becomes Her [Dramatized Adaptation]
- The Kurtherian Gambit, Book 1
- By: Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: full cast, Colleen Delany, Emily Beresford, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 16 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 245
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 222
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 222
There is more in our world than you know. Deep in the darkness of a government building, one man needs to find the perfect solution to a vampire’s request that the government satisfy the debt of honor owed him. If he falls short, the failure will be paid in the blood of the military. He needs three uniquely qualified individuals. He can find only one. One woman, dying, might be the ace-in-the-hole he needs to appease the Vampire. But then, she might also be the one person needed to save humanity. If she is accepted, will she willingly change?
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5 out of 5 stars
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great adaptation
- By Michael Mason on 11-02-20
By: Michael Anderle
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The Lost War
- The Eidyn Saga, Book 1
- By: Justin Lee Anderson
- Narrated by: Euan Morton
- Length: 20 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 342
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 308
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 305
With a ragged peace in place, demons burn farmlands, violent Reivers roam the wilds and plague has spread beyond the Black Meadows. The country is on its knees. In a society that fears and shuns him, Aranok is the first magically-skilled draoidh to be named King's Envoy. Now, charged with restoring an exiled foreign queen to her throne, he leads a group of strangers across the ravaged country. But at every step, a new mystery complicates their mission.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Holy Cow!
- By Lisa M. Perkey on 05-11-20
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Forever Fantasy Online
- Forever Fantasy Online, Book 1
- By: Rachel Aaron, Travis Bach
- Narrated by: Josh Hurley
- Length: 19 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 957
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 869
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 870
In the real world, twenty-one-year-old library sciences student Tina Anderson is invisible and under-appreciated, but in the VR-game Forever Fantasy Online she's Roxxy—the respected leader and main tank of a top-tier raiding guild. Her brother, James Anderson, has a similar problem. IRL he’s a college drop-out struggling under debt, but in FFO he's famous—an explorer known all over the world for doing every quest and collecting the rarest items.
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1 out of 5 stars
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The cover art is great....
- By Johnny Jeppesen on 08-18-18
By: Rachel Aaron, and others
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The Lightning-Struck Heart
- By: TJ Klune
- Narrated by: Michael Lesley
- Length: 19 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,118
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 3,866
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,849
Once upon a time, in an alleyway in the slums of the City of Lockes, a young and somewhat lonely boy named Sam Haversford turns a group of teenage douchebags into stone completely by accident. Of course, this catches the attention of a higher power, and Sam's pulled from the only world he knows to become an apprentice to the king's wizard, Morgan of Shadows.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Absolutely brilliant
- By Rain on 12-23-15
By: TJ Klune
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The Blacksmith Queen
- By: G. A. Aiken
- Narrated by: Mia Barron, Jason Culp
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 675
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 622
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 618
With the demise of the Old King, there's a prophesy that a queen will ascend to the throne of the Black Hills. Bad news for the king's sons, who are prepared to defend their birthright against all comers. But for blacksmith Keeley Smythe, war is great for business. Until it looks like the chosen queen will be Beatrix, her younger sister. Now it's all Keeley can do to protect her family from the enraged royals.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Very entertaining!
- By Curly's Ramblings on 08-27-19
By: G. A. Aiken
![The Kingdom of Liars (2 of 2) [Dramatized Adaptation] Audiobook By Nick Martell cover art](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51ztgcYUj6L._SL320_.jpg)
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The Kingdom of Liars (2 of 2) [Dramatized Adaptation]
- The Legacy of the Mercenary King, Book 1, Part 2
- By: Nick Martell
- Narrated by: full cast, Alejandro Ruiz, Keith Richards, and others
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4
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Story4 out of 5 stars 4
Michael is branded a traitor as a child because of the murder of the king’s nine-year-old son, by his father David Kingman. Ten years later on, Michael lives a hardscrabble life with his sister Gwen, performing crimes with his friends against minor royals in a weak attempt at striking back at the world that rejects him and his family. In a world where memory is the coin that pays for magic, Michael knows something is there in the hot white emptiness of his mind.
By: Nick Martell
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Resurrection of the Damned
- War of the Damned, Book 1
- By: Michael Todd, Michael Anderle, Laurie Starkey
- Narrated by: Emily Beresford
- Length: 5 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 37
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 34
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Story5 out of 5 stars 33
In a world invaded by demons, it's up to Katie and her Killers to restore order while also evading enemies - and friends - who want her in the worst way.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Totally Spoiled Storyline
- By Linda Luella on 01-03-20
By: Michael Todd, and others
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The Henchmen Chronicles Collection, Books 1-5
- By: Craig Halloran
- Narrated by: Alexander Cendese
- Length: 39 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 191
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 171
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 171
Contains the complete Henchmen Chronicles series.
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3 out of 5 stars
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for a credit, why not
- By Daniel on 06-24-23
By: Craig Halloran
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Unfettered
- Tales By Masters of Fantasy
- By: Terry Brooks, Patrick Rothfuss, Robert Jordan, and others
- Narrated by: Peter Ganim, Marc Vietor, Bronson Pinchot, and others
- Length: 20 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,535
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,363
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 1,371
You define life or it defines you. In Shawn Speakman’s case, it was both. Lacking health insurance and diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma in 2011, Shawn quickly accrued a massive medical debt that he did not have the ability to pay. That’s when New York Times best-selling author Terry Brooks offered to donate a short story that Shawn could sell to help alleviate those bills—and suggested he ask the same of his other writer friends. Unfettered is the result: An anthology built in order to relieve that debt, featuring short stories by some of the best fantasy writers in the genre.
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1 out of 5 stars
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A TRULY BAD COLLECTION OF DOGS
- By Randall on 12-21-18
By: Terry Brooks, and others
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Prodigy of Thunder
- Chronicles of Anna Atticus Stone, Book 1
- By: Sever Bronny
- Narrated by: Moira Quirk
- Length: 24 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 284
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 262
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Story5 out of 5 stars 262
The youngest warlock to ever wield lightning, 14-year-old Anna Atticus Stone dreams of attending the prestigious Academy of Arcane Arts. Except her life is a mess. She's friendless, her older sister keeps knocking her teeth out, and her parents constantly argue.
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4 out of 5 stars
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On the fence
- By Tracey M. Bare on 03-05-22
By: Sever Bronny
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The Affiliate
- By: K.A. Linde
- Narrated by: Erin Mallon
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 349
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 316
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 316
On the day of her Presenting, in front of the entire Byern Court, 17-year-old Cyrene Strohm's lifelong plans come to fruition when she's chosen for one of the most prestigious positions in her homeland - an Affiliate to the Queen. Or so she thinks. When Cyrene receives a mysterious letter and an unreadable book, she finds nothing is as it seems.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not a fan of Narrator
- By Priscilla on 05-25-17
By: K.A. Linde
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Mortality Bites: Publisher's Pack
- By: Ramy Vance
- Narrated by: Candace Thaxton
- Length: 12 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,140
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,065
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,058
Katrina Darling’s only real friend has been murdered. And not just murdered - ritually sacrificed by a serial killer. Kat is sure more death will follow. She should know...she used to be the monster plunging the blade in. Trouble is, after 300 years of being a vampire, Kat has forgotten what it means to be human. One thing she does remember is that friends matter. Now she's determined to find whoever - or whatever - killed her friend before more victims surface. But just as the hunt begins, a mysterious young man discovers exactly what she was.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Ugh
- By MsNing on 05-12-22
By: Ramy Vance
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The Blacktongue Thief
- By: Christopher Buehlman
- Narrated by: Christopher Buehlman
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,351
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 3,030
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,019
Kinch Na Shannack owes the Takers Guild a small fortune for his education as a thief, which includes (but is not limited to) lock-picking, knife-fighting, wall-scaling, fall-breaking, lie-weaving, trap-making, plus a few small magics. His debt has driven him to lie in wait by the old forest road, planning to rob the next traveler that crosses his path. But today, Kinch Na Shannack has picked the wrong mark.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Outstanding
- By Anne Vaughan on 05-28-21
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Collecting the Goddess
- By: Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Andrea Emmes
- Length: 17 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 57
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 48
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 48
What is a billionaire heiress supposed to do when all of her older siblings take to business like her parents, proving that business is in their blood. But not hers? There are many good choices. Unfortunately, Chloe decided that partying was the right one. Now, to keep her money, she’s required to attend daily meetings with the family psychologist - daily meetings about how she must change her present to change her future.
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4 out of 5 stars
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ugh
- By Marie on 07-09-20
By: Michael Anderle
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Everlasting Bad Boys
- Dragon Kin Series
- By: Shelly Laurenston, Cynthia Eden, Noelle Mack
- Narrated by: Emma Wilder
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 328
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 306
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 304
They're who you call when you want pleasure that lasts. A collection of three short stories by Shelly Laurenston, Cynthia Eden, and Noelle Mack.
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3 out of 5 stars
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As with all anthologies some are better than other
- By Babsbny reads way too much on 06-12-19
By: Shelly Laurenston, and others
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Mage's Blood
- The Moontide Quartet, Book 1
- By: David Hair
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 26 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 3,040
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,791
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Story4 out of 5 stars 2,788
Most of the time the Moontide Bridge lies deep below the sea, but every 12 years the tides sink and the bridge is revealed, its gates open for trade. The Magi are hell-bent on ruling this new world, and for the last two Moontides they have led armies across the bridge on "crusades of conquest". Now, the third Moontide is almost here, and this time the people of the East are ready for a fight... but it is three seemingly ordinary people that will decide the fate of the world.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Nick Podehl
- By Logan on 01-05-15
By: David Hair
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Slay and Rescue
- By: John Moore
- Narrated by: Jake Lewis
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 29
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 26
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 26
Prince Charming must work overtime when he becomes embroiled in a plot involving an evil sorceress, an enchanted castle, an angry dragon, and three beautiful damsels in distress. In this hilarious fairy tale parody, Prince Charming is getting tired the constant need to Slay and Rescue.
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5 out of 5 stars
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another charming story by John Moore
- By greygamer on 12-19-20
By: John Moore