Kill All Happies
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Kill All Happies
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Narrated by:
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Lauren Ezzo
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By:
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Rachel Cohn
About this listen
This is it. Graduation. Vic is going to throw the most epic party this town's ever seen. She's going to give her friends and everyone's favorite restaurant, Happies, a proper send-off, and you better believe she's going to hook up with Jake. All she needs to do is to keep it all a secret so that Miss Thrope, the town's nightmare councilwoman and high school economics teacher, doesn't ruin it.
So once the party's started and Thrope's nowhere to be seen, everything seems perfect - that is until droves of Happies fans start arriving. Now what was a small graduation bash is suddenly Coachella on steroids. The night is so not going as planned - but maybe that's the best plan of all.
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A summer job. That's all it was supposed to be. It never crossed my mind that I was about to collide with a man who would obliterate every plan I ever made. My mother has always warned me that love is like a lightning bolt and it strikes without warning. But I had no intention of getting struck by either lightning or love anytime soon. I'd be too busy finishing my journalism degree and landing a job in a city far more sophisticated than Phoenix. There was certainly nothing in the cards about getting involved with an ex-ballplayer turned nightclub boss.
-
5 out of 5 stars
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worth a read
- By BK on 05-14-18
By: Cora Brent
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Just a Guy
- Notes from a Blue Collar Life
- By: Bill Engvall, Alan Eisenstock
- Narrated by: Bill Engvall
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 627
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 491
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 489
Blue Collar Comedy star Bill Engvall is just a guy. He's been one his whole life. He can't help it; he was born that way. And that makes him an expert on the subject. For the record, here's the official definition of a guy: a person who doesn't think before he speaks. He can't. He's not that deep. Because a guy has only three basic needs: eating, sleeping, and sex. That's it. Just a Guy chronicles a lifetime in pursuit of those needs.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The Man Behind The Signs
- By Christopher on 12-07-07
By: Bill Engvall, and others
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Alex, Approximately
- By: Jenn Bennett
- Narrated by: Amy Melissa Bentley
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 303
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 278
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 278
Classic movie buff Bailey "Mink" Rydell has spent months crushing on a witty film geek she only knows online by "Alex". Two coasts separate the teens until Bailey moves in with her dad, who lives in the same California surfing town as her online crush. Faced with doubts (what if he's a creep in real life - or worse?), Bailey doesn't tell Alex she's moved to his hometown. Or that she's landed a job at the local tourist-trap museum. Or that she's being heckled daily by the irritatingly hot museum security guard, Porter Roth - a.k.a. her new arch-nemesis.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great But Don't Read the Synopsis!
- By Lorna on 09-26-17
By: Jenn Bennett
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Diary of a Mad Fat Girl
- By: Stephanie McAfee
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 70
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 69
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Story4 out of 5 stars 70
Graciela "Ace" Jones is mad-mad at her best friend Lilly who cancels their annual trip to Panama City for mysterious reasons; at her boss Catherine for "riding her ass like a fat lady on a Rascal scooter;" at her friend Chloe's abusive husband; and especially at Mason McKenzie, the love of her life, who has shown up with a marriage proposal three years too late.
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5 out of 5 stars
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What a fun read.
- By Donna on 04-13-12
By: Stephanie McAfee
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Georgia Peaches and Other Forbidden Fruit
- By: Jaye Robin Brown
- Narrated by: Amanda Dolan
- Length: 9 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 153
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 139
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 139
Joanna Gordon has been out and proud for years, but when her popular radio evangelist father remarries and decides to move all three of them from Atlanta to the more conservative Rome, Georgia, he asks Jo to do the impossible: to lie low for the rest of her senior year. And Jo reluctantly agrees. Although it is (mostly) much easier for Jo to fit in as a straight girl, things get complicated when she meets Mary Carlson, the oh-so-tempting sister of her new friend at school. But Jo couldn't possibly think of breaking her promise to her dad.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Straitest lesbian romance I’ve ever read
- By Anonymous User on 05-13-22
By: Jaye Robin Brown
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Ramona Blue
- By: Julie Murphy
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 128
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 115
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 115
Ramona was only five years old when Hurricane Katrina changed her life forever. Since then it's been Ramona and her family against the world. Standing over six feet tall, with unmistakable blue hair, Ramona is sure of three things: She likes girls, she's fiercely devoted to her family, and she knows she's destined for something bigger than the trailer she calls home in Eulogy, Mississippi. But juggling multiple jobs, her flaky mom, and her well-meaning but ineffectual dad forces her to be the adult of the family.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Where was this book ten years ago?
- By S. F. Wilson on 05-08-18
By: Julie Murphy
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Carter's Unfocused, One-Track Mind
- A Novel
- By: Brent Crawford
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 31
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 28
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 28
After an eventful freshman year and a disastrous summer, fifteen-year-old Will Carter returns to Merrian High none the wiser. The year starts off pretty normally. He’s back on the football field (the bench area of the field). He and his boys start a fight club to defend themselves against Scary Terry Moss, who is out of juvie and hunting Carter. And he goes to homecoming again with Amber Lee.
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5 out of 5 stars
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so fun
- By Danny on 02-10-21
By: Brent Crawford
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Rats Saw God
- By: Rob Thomas
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 42
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 34
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 34
By his senior year, Steve York has come through the worst two years of his life. His parents have divorced, and his girlfriend has betrayed him. Worse yet, after running away to live with his mother in San Diego, forays into the drug culture have turned his A-average into a thing of the past. Steve's only hope to graduate on time and avoid summer school is to write a 100-page paper for his guidance counselor. Unfortunately, he has to write about something he knows, and all he knows well are the last two years of his life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Real
- By Mary on 06-26-09
By: Rob Thomas
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 365
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 325
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Story4 out of 5 stars 322
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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2 out of 5 stars
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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Crash
- By: Nicole Williams
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 128
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 119
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Story4 out of 5 stars 117
A steamy summer encounter with bad boy Jude means trouble for Lucy. Her sights are set on becoming a ballerina, and she won't let anything get in her way...except Jude. He's got a rap sheet, dangerous mood swings, and a name that's been sighed, shouted, and cursed by who knows how many girls. Jude's a cancer, the kind of guy who's fated to ruin the lives of girls like Lucy - and he tells her so. But as rumors run rampant and reputations are destroyed, Lucy's not listening to Jude's warning.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Jude! He has just reached Kellan status!
- By Candateshia Pafford on 06-10-13
By: Nicole Williams
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Please Ignore Vera Dietz
- By: A. S. King
- Narrated by: Lynde Houck
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 107
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 92
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Story4 out of 5 stars 91
Vera’s spent her whole life secretly in love with her best friend, Charlie Kahn. And over the years she’s kept a lot of his secrets. Even after he betrayed her. Even after he ruined everything. So when Charlie dies in dark circumstances, Vera knows a lot more than anyone - the kids at school, his family, even the police. But will she emerge to clear his name? Does she even want to? Edgy and gripping, Please Ignore Vera Dietz is an unforgettable novel: Smart, funny, dramatic, and always surprising.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Moving, disturbing, and humorous
- By Julie on 08-26-11
By: A. S. King
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Loving Day
- By: Mat Johnson
- Narrated by: J. D. Jackson
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 177
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 165
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 166
On his first night in his new home, Warren spies two figures in the grass outside; when he screws up the nerve to confront them, they disappear. The next day he encounters ghosts of a different kind: In the face of the teenage girl he meets at a comics convention, he sees the mingled features of his white father and his black mother, both now dead. The girl is his daughter, and she thinks she's white.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Teen lit with heavy erotic imagery
- By Itinerant T on 08-26-15
By: Mat Johnson
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Summer at Sea
- By: Beth Labonte
- Narrated by: Erin Spencer
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 128
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 115
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Story4 out of 5 stars 115
Four jackets of varying weights, enough socks for the entire Confederate Army, three umbrellas, most of the antacid aisle from the local pharmacy, and six pairs of old-people sneakers that all look exactly the same. Have you ever helped your parents pack for a weeklong cruise? No? I didn't think so. So shut it. So begins vacation for Summer Hartwell - 26 years old, living with her anxiety-ridden parents, and unwillingly booked by her brother on a weeklong cruise to Bermuda.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Oi God.
- By Misty Walker on 02-10-17
By: Beth Labonte
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Every Anxious Wave
- By: Mo Daviau
- Narrated by: Zach Villa
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 623
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 558
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Story4 out of 5 stars 556
Why would we need music if our lives were exactly as we wanted them to be? Karl Bender is a quiet guy who lives in three places: his bar, his apartment, and the cheap Mediterranean place on the corner that keeps him well fed with his daily portion of hummus and chicken shwarma. But that's all about to change. When he stumbles upon a time-traveling wormhole, Karl develops a business selling access to people who want to go back in time to hear their favorite bands.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Frustrating
- By Brit N Jonn Designs on 03-31-16
By: Mo Daviau
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My Bluegrass Baby
- By: Molly Harper
- Narrated by: Amanda Ronconi
- Length: 5 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 3,614
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,294
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Story4 out of 5 stars 3,277
Sadie Hutchins loves her job at the Kentucky Tourism Commission. Not only could her co-workers double as the cast of Parks and Recreation, but she loves finding the unusual sites, hidden gems, and just-plain-odd tourist attractions of her home state. She’s a shoo-in for the director’s job when her boss retires at the end of the year…until hotshot Josh Vaughn shows up to challenge her for the position. Josh is all sophisticated polish while Sadie’s country comfort, and the two have very different ideas of what makes a good campaign.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Made me want to visit Kentucky!
- By Diana Turmenne on 04-09-13
By: Molly Harper
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One Mississippi
- By: Mark Childress
- Narrated by: Jeff Woodman
- Length: 13 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 246
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 123
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Story4 out of 5 stars 121
Yankee transplant Daniel Musgrove can't seem to fit in at his Mississippi high school. When he meets fellow outsider Tim Cousins, things look up. But then the two boys' battles with a local bully escalate into a violent act that rocks the town.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A great listen, if not great literature
- By Bob on 06-13-07
By: Mark Childress