Keanu Reeves is Not in Love with You

The Murky World of Online Romance Fraud

By: Becky Holmes

Narrated by: Becky Holmes

One woman's hilarious and fascinating quest to expose the truth behind fraudulent Twitter profiles: romance scammers beware, you have met your match!

Online romance fraud is a problem across the globe. It causes financial and emotional devastation, yet many people refuse to take it seriously. This is the story of one middle-aged woman in a cardigan determined to understand this growing phenomenon.

No other woman has had so many online romances-from Keanu Reeves to Brad Pitt to Prince William-and Becky Holmes is a favorite among peacekeeping soldiers and oil rig workers who desperately need iTunes vouchers. By winding up scammers and investigating the truth behind their profiles, Becky shines a revealing, revolting, and hilarious light on a very shady corner of the internet.

Featuring first-hand accounts of victims, examples of scripts used by fraudsters, a look into the psychology of fraud and of course plenty of Becky's hysterical interactions with scammers, this is a must-listen for anyone who needs a reminder that Keanu Reeves is NOT in love with them.

©2024 Becky Holmes (P)2024 Tantor

Hilarious - and informative

Holmes tells the story of online scammers in the most entertaining way possible, which hopefully means that people will listen and she will help pull people from the brink. Absolutely my favorite book of the year.

Be wary of racist tropes and inflammatory anecdotes

I initially loved this book because of the humorous personal narratives and delivery. The author shows a lot of empathy for victims of romance fraud, who are often generalized as stupid, plus helpful advice for recognizing scams. Unfortunately, by the time I got to chapters 6-7, I was deeply disappointed to hear the author parroting conservative myths and racist tropes about Africans and Black Americans, as well as bringing up unsubstantiated, fringe anecdotes about cannibalism, sex trafficking, and abuse that are in no way representative of these groups, even of the criminal organizations within them.

I’m not expecting a Marxist analysis of the last 200 years of colonialism here, but it strikes me as deeply and dangerously irresponsible to present any discussion of financial crime in West Africa without even a MENTION of the circumstances that created a depressed economy and allowed scammers and fraudsters to gain a foothold in these countries. These people don’t look down on “white pigs” because they are “reverse racist” or something, they do because Britain spent 200+ years murdering and enslaving their populations and draining their natural resources to an extent that they are still recovering, 60 years (not very long!) after independence. Of course romance fraud is wrong, but how can you hope to understand the factors that cause it, or possible ways to fix it, when you don’t have the slightest bit of empathy for victims of your own country’s historical and ongoing exploitation?

Also, speaking as a white American: I’m not a fan of hip-hop either, but that doesn’t give either of us the right to generalize and repeat the conservative myth that it’s all about glorifying gang violence and crime. You admit that you know nothing about the genre, that you don’t care for statistics, and it’s clear that you have no interest in doing the research required to understand the history and cultural influence of hip-hop—so maybe just don’t comment on it?

I strongly urge the author to do a LOT more research and especially to correspond with many more Ghanaian and Nigerian fraud researchers who actually know what they’re talking about. A lot of funny and scary anecdotes does not a responsible non-fiction book make.