Jingle Me Balls
Sea Shenanigans, Book 6
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Jingle Me Balls
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Narrated by:
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David Brenin
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By:
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Robyn Peterman
About this listen
What in the salty seas could be more important than presents at Christmas time?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Tis’ Christmas time on Mystical Isle, and just like the fat bastard in red, I’ve made a list, and now I shall check it...twice. Yeah, twice. I might wear a diaper, but I’m not an arse.
Battle the human women in sweatpants and snow boots for electronics on Black Friday. Check.
Cover each palm tree in lights even though the mermaids insist they look phallic. Check. By the way, what does phallic mean? Never mind. Check.
Moving on.
Weave a Christmas tale during family story time on the beach, have a family portrait made in the special sweaters I pilfered, and write a letter to Santa. I mean, fat bastard.... Check.
Planning activities that may end in bloodshed. Check. That’s what I call a yuletide win, so check-check.
It seems I have everything under control and Christmas on Mystical Isle will be unforgettable, or I’m not the well-hung god of the sea, Poseidon.
And I am. Check.
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- By: Robyn Peterman
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 12 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,026
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,793
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,786
Vampyres don't exist. They absolutely do not exist. At least I didn't think they did 'til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead? Now I'm a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren't bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite, and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Porn
- By Jo Mc on 05-11-17
By: Robyn Peterman
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Beauty Queens
- By: Libba Bray
- Narrated by: Libba Bray
- Length: 14 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 597
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 525
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 527
The 50 contestants in the Miss Teen Dream pageant thought this was going to be a fun trip to the beach, where they could parade in their state-appropriate costumes and compete in front of the cameras. But sadly, their airplane had another idea, crashing on a desert island and leaving the survivors stranded with little food, little water, and practically no eyeliner. What’s a beauty queen to do? Continue to practice for the talent portion of the program - or wrestle snakes to the ground? Get a perfect tan - or learn to run wild? And what should happen when the sexy pirates show up?
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5 out of 5 stars
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No one left unscathed
- By Vanessa on 09-12-11
By: Libba Bray
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Wickedly Dangerous
- Baba Yaga Series #1
- By: Deborah Blake
- Narrated by: Romy Nordlinger
- Length: 12 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 180
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 165
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Story4 out of 5 stars 166
Older than she looks and powerful beyond measure, Barbara Yager no longer has much in common with the mortal life she left behind long ago. Posing as an herbalist and a researcher, she travels the country with her faithful (mostly) dragon-turned-dog in an enchanted Airstream, fulfilling her duties as a Baba Yaga and avoiding any possibility of human attachment.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Absolutely FABULOUS!
- By Fraggle on 11-03-16
By: Deborah Blake
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Accidental Hero
- A Marriage Mistake Romance
- By: Nicole Snow
- Narrated by: Rose Dioro, Mason Lloyd
- Length: 8 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,107
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,018
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,014
It was one freaking kiss with a stranger. I wasn't looking for a hero the day Brent Eden charged into my life. He saw a damsel in distress facing humiliation. We played pretend. Swore I was his. Baited sweet chaos. Blew apart everything. My dating disaster? Gone. Our kiss? Electric. Divine. Toe-curling. His mistake? Oh, boy. Dropping the ultimate F-bomb: fiancée. Especially when my gossipy cousin tells the whole family.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Pleasant...
- By Lisy on 10-25-18
By: Nicole Snow
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Five
- A Mister Standalone, Book 0.5
- By: JA Huss
- Narrated by: Anna Riordan, Teddy Hamilton
- Length: 8 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,134
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,002
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,995
Five Aston has known Rory Shrike for as long as he can remember. He played with her in the sandbox. He went to every damn horse show just to be supportive. He helped her with her French, walked her home from school, and faked his test scores just to stay with her a little longer and not be sent off to college early. But eventually he had to move on. And so did she. Never has a second chance meant so much to a boy who loves a girl.
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5 out of 5 stars
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✫✫ 5 Stars ✫✫
- By 🎧 Cyndi Marie 🎧 on 02-02-18
By: JA Huss
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Sea of Love
- A Barberry Island Novel, Book 1
- By: Susan Donovan
- Narrated by: Amy McFadden
- Length: 10 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 71
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 64
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 63
Between Martha’s Vineyard and Nantucket rests Bayberry Island, home to a bronze mermaid statue that promises to grant true love to anyone who asks with an open heart. For years Rowan Flynn distanced herself from Bayberry Island and its infamous mermaid legend. But after her investor fiancé lost what was left of her family’s fortune, Rowan reluctantly agreed to run the Safe Haven Bed-and-Breakfast, determined never again to fall for the ridiculous fantasy of the mermaid matchmaker.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Oh My
- By Paula on 09-09-14
By: Susan Donovan
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Spellbound Falls
- Spellbound Falls, Book 1
- By: Janet Chapman
- Narrated by: Allyson Ryan
- Length: 11 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 301
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 271
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 272
Maximilian Oceanus arrives in Spellbound Falls just in time to save Olivia Baldwin from an overly aggressive suitor, only to find himself attracted to the beautiful, if rather aloof, widow. And although Mac has come to Inglenook to get a handle on fatherhood, his newly discovered six-year-old son has set his sights on finding his father a wife. Olivia, however, is busy getting Inglenook ready for its new season, so she doesn't have time to deal with her growing attraction to the dangerously seductive Mac.
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4 out of 5 stars
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The sea meets Main
- By Manon on 09-18-12
By: Janet Chapman
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Chronicles of an Urban Druid Boxed Set, Books 1-3
- Chronicles of an Urban Druid Boxed Set, Volume 1
- By: Auburn Tempest, Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Rachel Dulude
- Length: 26 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 29
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 29
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Story5 out of 5 stars 29
I have family I didn't know about, a magical heritage laying its claim, and a mystery I apparently need to solve. But when a back-alley brawl leaves me marked with a bizarre Celtic crest on my back, I become a beacon for all things whacked and weird.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great series
- By Kurt Henkel on 11-18-24
By: Auburn Tempest, and others
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The Accidental Werewolf
- Accidentally Friends, Book 1
- By: Dakota Cassidy
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell
- Length: 10 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,827
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,678
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,677
When Marty Andrews gets bitten by a mangy mutt while walking her teacup poodle, her blond hair darkens, the hair on her legs starts growing at an alarming rate, and her mood swings put her dream job as a sales rep for Bobbie-Sue Cosmetics in serious jeopardy. Then a drool-worthy man shows up at her door claiming that he accidentally bit Marty. And since he's a werewolf, she is now, too. Thinking Keegan Flaherty is clearly insane, Marty refuses to believe a word until a kidnapping makes her realize there's more at stake than just her highlights.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Too much sex
- By CrunchySocks on 03-17-15
By: Dakota Cassidy
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The Book of Summer
- A Novel
- By: Michelle Gable
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 12 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 91
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 88
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 86
Physician Bess Codman has returned to her family's Nantucket compound, Cliff House, for the first time in four years. Her great-grandparents built Cliff House almost a century before, but due to erosion, the once-grand home will soon fall into the sea. Though she's purposefully avoided the island, Bess must now pack up the house and deal with her mother, a notorious town rabble-rouser, who refuses to leave.
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1 out of 5 stars
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boring
- By Sara Deering on 08-09-17
By: Michelle Gable
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Courting Catherine
- The Calhoun Women, Book 1
- By: Nora Roberts
- Narrated by: Kate Rudd
- Length: 5 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 561
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 500
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 499
Catherine "C.C." Calhoun is determined to keep her family's estate, known affectionately as the Towers, in the family. She admits the cost of keeping up the crumbling mansion might be quickly exceeding what C.C., her sisters and her aunt can afford, but the only way to save the house can't be to sell it. Especially not to arrogant and handsome hotel magnate Trenton St. James III.
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3 out of 5 stars
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The narration is really annoying
- By Kate on 04-08-15
By: Nora Roberts
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Flirtasaurus
- By: Erin Mallon
- Narrated by: Erin Mallon
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 427
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 377
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Story4 out of 5 stars 377
My name is Calliope and "I bone for a living." Kidding. I am studying to be a paleontologist though. It's the only thing I've ever wanted to be, and I have finally landed the perfect museum internship to make all of my dino-loving dreams come true. Trouble is, everyone wants me to be a gentle, loving sort of creature, but I'm more of the T-Rex type by nature - the kind who is determined to stomp and tear her way through any obstacle in order to get what she wants.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Couldn't Finish
- By Kimberly on 08-19-20
By: Erin Mallon
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Second String Savior
- From the Tome of Bill Universe (False Icons Series, Book 1)
- By: Rick Gualtieri, R.E. Carr
- Narrated by: Andrea Emmes
- Length: 12 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 230
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 210
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 209
Imagine going to bed with mousy brown locks and waking up with a headful of supernova scarlet. It's a hot new look for me - literally, because it bursts into flames whenever I'm threatened. My magical makeover is all Gary's fault. I knew there was something off from the moment he transferred to my school. Go figure. He's a wizard with a trust fund and an inferiority complex. Now, thanks to him, I've graduated from high school bullies to supernatural terrors and that's not all. Fate has chosen me to face the legendary vampire destined to destroy the world.
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3 out of 5 stars
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think Tome of Bill for highschoolers
- By john moglia on 12-04-19
By: Rick Gualtieri, and others
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Minotaur's Maze of Monster Girls Omnibus: Books 1-3
- By: Marcus Sloss
- Narrated by: Daniel Wisniewski, Rebecca Woods
- Length: 36 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 469
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 427
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 426
After slaying a leviathan of the deep, and gaining a magic he barely understands, an ordinary fisherman finds himself entangled in a magical game of the gods with the fate of his planet as the prize. Dean becomes Oakley's champion, competing in the Minotaur's Maze. He travels through a portal to Mixonia, a city of wonders, filled with magic and monster girls of all sorts. As he levels up in his noble quest to save his home world, he will earn and lose fortunes, rescue a bevy of beautiful babes, and protect the innocents of planet Oakley.
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4 out of 5 stars
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This was actually good.
- By Nate on 05-16-22
By: Marcus Sloss
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Just My Luck
- By: Andrea Bramhall
- Narrated by: Rachael Beresford
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 42
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 41
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 41
Genna Collins works a dead end job, loves her family, her girlfriend, and her friends. When she wins the biggest Euromillions jackpot on record everything changes . . . and not always for the best. When Abi Kitson fell in love she always knew it would go unrequited. The woman of her dreams was so close yet seemingly untouchable for so many reasons. Reasons like—they are best friends, or the big age gap, or the 'other' woman, nevermind Abi's own baggage.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good
- By Wendy Davidson on 10-25-24
By: Andrea Bramhall
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Shark's Edge
- Shark's Edge, Book 1
- By: Angel Payne, Victoria Blue
- Narrated by: Jacob Morgan, Erin Mallon
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 184
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 174
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 172
Sebastian Shark is on the verge of realizing his dream. The Edge - the most luxurious Los Angeles skyscraper ever conceived - will be his legacy, an icon to dominate LA’s skyline just as Shark dominates its boardrooms. Self-made businesswoman Abbigail Gibson is on a trajectory toward massive success, but to get there, she must navigate the egos of her demanding clients - particularly the driven and obstinate Shark, who possesses the special talent of aggravating and arousing her within the same breath.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A great start to a classic Contemporary Romance
- By Carey Sabala on 12-12-19
By: Angel Payne, and others
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Just Add Water
- Hetta Coffey Series, Book 1
- By: Jinx Schwartz
- Narrated by: Beth Richmond
- Length: 10 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 176
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 152
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Story4 out of 5 stars 151
Hetta Coffey is a globe-trotting civil engineer with attitude who is working on coming of age, a little late. Pushing forty and still single, Hetta is the epitome of the "B" word: bold, bossy, brassy, breezy, and brash. After leaving a lifelong swath of failed multinational affairs in her jet stream, it is no wonder Hetta prefers living with her dog, R.J. But old habits die hard, and trolling for triceps is Hetta's hobby....
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3 out of 5 stars
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Mixed bag. The dog dies.
- By Elisabeth Carey on 09-02-18
By: Jinx Schwartz
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Must Love Otters
- By: Eliza Gordon
- Narrated by: Caitlin Davies
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 32
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 32
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Story4 out of 5 stars 32
Emergency-call operator Hollie Porter is saddled with a job she hates and a boyfriend who’s all wrong for her. Reaching a breaking point, she cashes in a gift certificate and heads to Revelation Cove in British Columbia. Flying solo and newly single, Hollie hopes to reflect and discover her purpose among the beautiful surroundings but instead ends up unintentionally providing comic relief for the staff and guests alike. Even concierge Ryan, a former hockey star with bad knees and broken dreams, can’t stop her from stumbling from one (mis)adventure to another.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Having a hard time finishing.
- By Janet on 01-13-20
By: Eliza Gordon
What listeners say about Jingle Me Balls
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kim
- 04-07-20
GAWD, YOU NEED THIS!
Jingle my Balls was an absolute riot of laughter for the holidays that is good to listen to anytime. I just can’t believe that someone can write with this great of imagination and zaniness. And yet here it is, from Ms. Peterman another fabulously written Sea Shenanigan. I just couldn’t stop laughing from one bad thing that Poseidon did to the next. And then to have a narrator like David Brenin bring all of the hootenanny off of the pages. I am sure that he must have gotten done with each chapter and said “Gawd, I love my job!” And you should say, GAWD, I need this audio!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Michelle Eriksen
- 03-24-20
Hysterically Fun and Wacky Christmas Adventure
Sit back, relax and be prepared to giggle. Jingle Me Balls is full of nonsensically wacky humor that is just plain fun to listen to. Robyn Peterman has a style like no other author I know and that goes double for her vocabulary ;) The characters are so far out there that you have to adore their crazy while you giggle along with their antics. Ms. Peterman even manages to put some good cheer and positive messages in the story to leave you with a warm fuzzy feeling.
The narration makes the story come to life and allow you to listen while not having to worry about clearing the tears of laughter from your eyes to see the words.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- SCambra
- 05-14-20
Perfect Ending!
Hilarious and heartfelt! It’s the perfect ending to the Sea Shenanigans series. You’ll laugh at all the outrageous adventures every time you turn the page. Love hearing these adventures!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Mary mitchell
- 03-27-20
The meaning of Christmas
Will Poseidon ever get his act together? Can he truly make a perfect Christmas? Well, it won’t be for the lack of trying. This is a fabulous book and a perfect Christmas story.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- LaneOfTheNorth
- 03-30-20
A holly jolly good time!
I absolutely loved this! I laughed so hard at Poseidon and his attempts to make the perfect Christmas starting with Black Friday Shopping with his sons Del and Pirate Doug along with a carefully chosen motley crew. Warning be careful if you try to drink anything while listening to this randy tale, it may just end up coming out of your nose! It definitely made doing housework a lot more fun! David Brenin was outstanding in his performance, once again!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Heather C
- 03-30-20
Bit of a laugh
This is book 6 in the Sea Shenanigans Series and we follow Poseidon as he wants to celebrate Christmas for the 1st time but keeps doing it wrong. It's all out of love but not everyone sees it that way.
We take all of the mermaids and their spouses on a terrifying funny journey to help live out Poseidon's dream. He will not stop at anything to make sure all the holiday cheer is felt by all.
Super quick listen and good for a laugh.
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