In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...

. . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy

By: Adam Carolla

Narrated by: Adam Carolla

"A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, 'You've got to be kidding me, son.' The bartender replied, 'New policy. Everyone has to show their ID.' Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II."

It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

Adam Carolla is a radio and television host, comedian, and actor. He is the host of the "Adam Carolla Podcast", before which he hosted a weekday morning radio program broadcast from Los Angeles, and syndicated by CBS Radio. Besides these shows, Carolla is well known as the co-host of the radio show "Loveline" (and its television incarnation on MTV), as the co-creator and co-host of Comedy Central's The Man Show, and as the co-creator and the performer on Comedy Central and MTV's Crank Yankers and is a frequent contributor and contestant on ABC's top-rated program Dancing with the Stars. Carolla also starred in, co-wrote, and co-produced the award-winning independent film, The Hammer. He currently lives in Los Angeles with his wife and their two children.

©2010 Adam Carolla (P)2010 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

"If comedy books were a big-breasted porn collection, In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks would be Christy Canyon." (Bill Simmons, ESPN columnist and best-selling author of The Book of Basketball)

"Adam Carolla is a genius. And no, I'm not kidding."(Jimmy Kimmel)

“I don’t know this guy from Adam, but Carolla’s humor - fearlessly crass, shamelessly honest and irresistibly funny - sucks out like liposuction the layers of fatty pride to expose the often warped and wounded psyche buried deep within the modern American male.”(Ken Burns)

Not bad

Any additional comments?

This is a fun book.... Usually. Yes, I agree, every story cant be hilarious but sometimes he just gets on a tangents that sound very unpolished - like an angry rant that isnt even part of a comedy bit.... which is both good and bad. I'm a fan of the story and that it is narrated by Adam, he does a decent job. Overall, I think I would only recommend this to few certian people. Personally I liked about 75% of the book which in my opinion is enough to give it a great rating :)

Pure vitriolic bliss

Those not familiar with the podcast should know that Adam Carolla's rants range so far and wide that he's sure to offend at some point, but his humor is worth the occasional sting.

Every man should read this!!

Amazingly honest! Great book, should be given to sons, brothers, dads and any man in your life. Corolla gets it, he tells it like it is.

fabulous

Moments in audiobook made me cry with laughter, so hard, that I had to pull over, dry my tears, in order continue driving throughout forsaken Alabama.

Hilarious

Where does In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

Among comedy, there is no equal in audiobooks. This had me dying of laughter the entire duration.

What was one of the most memorable moments of In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...?

It's hard to name a single one. I really liked his truck kill switch.

What about Adam Carolla’s performance did you like?

It's natural. You can tell he isn't reading it to you. He is ranting and storytelling ad hoc and that makes it more enjoyable.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

It's hit or miss. Be warned you will most likely be offended or off put by some of his comments. A lot makes sense but some might make you cringe. I believe he flat out says men are smarter than women and that we should send kids with peanut allergies to an island. If you can brush that off and realize he is a just a comedian with exagerated opinions, some parts really are true/wise. It's just intermingled with half baked opinions.

Any additional comments?

Hilarious but depends on the listener. Feminists, homosexuals, etc enter at your own risk.

A bucket of gold nuggets for life's lessons!

The title doesn't do justice to the simple yet obvious subjects covered. It's a take on life of a man who changed his direction in life fueled by the failures of his parents, poverty and neverending obstacles. The way he thinks, and how he came to those conclusions is why I enjoyed this book. Not right or left it's does it work or not!

Goat cheese is great!

If you know Adam Carolla's work from the Man Show, Love Line, and his Pod Casts, you will find nothing new or groundbreaking here. But, in typical Adam Carolla fashion, he rants and raves on a variety of topics, and says a lot of many of us are thinking, but afraid to say. Of course, I cannot agree with his hating of Goat Cheese - I love the stuff!

Good, funny book, narrated very well.

As good as the podcase

What made the experience of listening to In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... the most enjoyable?

Great and funny content read in an enjoyable way.

What about Adam Carolla’s performance did you like?

It was true to how he is and a blast.

nothing but the truth

anyone who didn't thoroughly enjoy this is an idiot and a direct reason of why the book was written and why Adam Carolla has so much to complain. great job ace man thank you for the good word!

Very Funny!!!

Where does In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

One of the best audiobooks I have listened to in a long time.

What other book might you compare In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... to and why?

Not Taco Bell Material also by Adam Corolla. Even funnier.

What does Adam Carolla bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

The Adam Corolla mannerisms and you get additional material because of all the hilarious digressions.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

The title says it all.

Any additional comments?

Great listen for a long road trip.