Ignore It!

How Selectively Looking the Other Way Can Decrease Behavioral Problems and Increase Parenting Satisfaction

By: Catherine Pearlman PhD LCSW

Narrated by: Christine Williams

This book teaches frustrated, stressed-out parents that selectively ignoring certain behaviors can actually inspire positive changes in their kids.

With all the whining, complaining, begging, and negotiating, parenting can seem more like a chore than a pleasure. Dr. Catherine Pearlman, syndicated columnist and one of America's leading parenting experts, has a simple yet revolutionary solution: Ignore it!

Dr. Pearlman's four-step process returns the joy to child-rearing. Combining highly effective strategies with time-tested approaches, she teaches parents when to selectively look the other way to withdraw reinforcement for undesirable behaviors. Too often we find ourselves bargaining, debating, arguing, and pleading with kids. Instead of improving their children's behavior, parents are ensuring that it will not only continue but often get worse. When children receive no attention or reward for misbehavior, they realize their ways of acting are ineffective and cease doing it. Using proven strategies supported by research, this book shows parents how to:

• Avoid engaging in a power struggle
• Stop using attention as a reward for misbehavior
• Use effective behavior modification techniques to diminish and often eliminate problem behaviors
• Overflowing with wisdom, tips, scenarios, frequently asked questions, and a lot of encouragement, Ignore It! is the parenting program that promises to return bliss to the lives of exasperated parents.

©2017 Catherine Pearlman, PhD LCSW (P)2017 Blackstone Audio, Inc.

insightful

this was a insightful book about a particular way to improve kids behavior. it definitely added a new tool to my parenting tool box that is very power.

It works!

Really enjoy this approach and has allowed for me to easily employ the offered advice. It works!!

She refers to reference tables and worksheets - are these available alongside the audio book as download??

Eye opening and life changing

We started applying some of the practices advised in the book, and it has really changed the dynamics in our home. Everything just goes smoother and the tension has substantially decreased. It’s been transcending!

Great book, awful narration

An incredibly practical guide for parents of young (and not so young) children. about 5 hours long so gets right to the point, which I appreciate. a nice addition to the modern parenting toolbox. absolutely awful choice of narrator...I found her fairy godmother sounding voice obnoxious beyond measure. I listen to a lot of audio books and this one is far my least favorite.

Where is the PDF download?

While I love the concepts in the book - where is the mentioned PDF that she keeps referring to in the book. It is supposed to have a download but it is not available.

Please post the PDF

Game changer

This book is informative, funny, and highly insightful. A must read for parents of behavioral children!

Buy now!

What an awesome awesome book! My parenting experience is so much more enjoyable and there is so much less fighting, whinny and negotiating in our day to day. Buy this book now and read with your parenting partners!

Practical, useful, and encouraging

ignore it is well written and provides easy practical tips for implementation. The author is encouraging and supportive while also being realistic about the difficulties in this kind of work. My only concern is a single line in which the author recommends ABA (applied behavioral analysis) for behaviors like head banging in children who may be autistic. Studies have shown that over half of autistic adults subjected to ABA as children meet the diagnostic criteria for PTSD compared to less than 10% of autistic adults not subjected to ABA. It wasn’t until 2022 that the governing body put out a statement discouraging the use of electrocution of children as punishment for bad behavior, and it isn’t a binding statement- some practitioners are going to continue electrocuting autistic children. ABA is abusive and I would encourage any parent considering it to listen to actually autistic adults who went through it.

Ease

I loved it- simple easy to implement and remember. Theory based and rewarding. It’s already working by chapter 3.

It works!

I'm a mom of a precocious and amazing 4.5 year old who is a brilliant negotiator and a force to be reckoned with. I love this about her... except that it became incredibly challenging to deal with her seemingly endless outbursts. As a mom who always wants to validate feelings and is not interested in stifling emotions, I didn't realize that some of my compassionate responses were not helping her or me in the moment.

Enter - Ignore It!

This approach has helped me to preserve my emotional energy while still allowing my child to express emotions. She can express all she wants, but it doesn't phase me nor do I need to engage anymore (until she's calmed down). What's been great is that I have noticed a significant downtick in the number and length of outbursts. She's able to express frustration and move on more quickly now.

Highly recommend this approach to all parents and caretakers. It feels a bit strange at first, but it is extremely helpful!