If Only in My Dreams

By: Keira Andrews

Narrated by: Greg Boudreaux

To be home for Christmas, they must bridge the distance between them.

Charlie Yates is desperate. It's almost Christmas and his flight home from college has been delayed. For days. Charlie promised his little sister Ava he'd be home for her first holiday season since going into remission from leukemia. Now he's stuck on the opposite coast and someone else grabbed the last rental car. Someone he hasn't even spoken to in four years.

Someone who broke his heart.

Gavin Bloomberg's childhood friendship with Charlie ended overnight after a day of stolen kisses. With years of resentment between them, they don't want to be in the same room together, let alone a car. But for Ava's sake, Gavin agrees to share the rental and drive across the country together.

As they face unexpected bumps along the road, can Charlie and Gavin pave the way to a future together?

Contains mature themes.

©2015 Keira Andrews (P)2023 Tantor

Sweet young MCs, sexy mature narrator

I love Greg Boudreaux’s narration, but it sounded too mature for two eighteen-year-old main characters. That didn’t keep the characters from being believable overall, though. It was a sweet little Christmas/Chanukah story with all kinds of love and good times!

A good holiday tale

The story is sort of predictable but holds together well. The voices used really seem to project the characters. The voice of Charlie I found to be irritating at first but then as the story progresses it becomes a natural fit. Overall well done.

A tremendous performance for a beautiful story

I love this Christmas novella, it’s probably my favorite Christmas story. I have read it twice and now I have listen to the audiobook. Greg Boudreaux is amazing! He really knocked this one out of the park. I never know exactly what to say about narrators but his different voices for the characters were so good I forgot it was the same person narrating! He acted the book too and in the best way possible. I was actually talking to the book in parts! I’ve never done that but I had these reactions like someone was right there telling me this story. He made me feel so many emotions. It was perfect.

This story itself is one of my favorite tropes; friends to enemies to lovers. I love the angst from their past and how they are forced together to make a trip all the way from San Francisco, CA to Norwalk, CT. There is the only one bed too but it wasn’t a huge part in the story. Nothing was forced with this story, it was told very naturally. This is Keira Andrews at her best.

I forgot how amazingly hot this book was! There are a good amount of sex scenes for a shorter book but they added to the story and made you feel these two men getting to know each other intimately in such a special way. These guys have loved each other for years and there is so much emotion behind their past.

Charlie’s sister Ava really made this story even better. He was the best big brother and his family was so beautiful. There is also Gavin’s parents who I didn’t really like but there was some hope for them. Greg’s acting in Gavin’s coming out scenes was so good and real, it truly broke my heart.

I could read more from these characters, I just adored them so much. There hasn’t been another Christmas book this good since and I know I will re-listen to this in the years to come.

1.5 Stars

If Only in My Dreams in a YA/NA, mm, second chance romance. I use romance lightly. Yikes. This book was not it. I'm sure it works for others, but it didn't for me. This may be because I was not expecting the main characters to be 18 years old. If I am going to read a YA/NA book, I expect it to fit their ages. I had no connection with characters at all. It didn't work that they were both 18. Their behavior kept fluctuating in maturity. The drama from when they were in 9th grade felt very on par with them being 18, but the rest didn't. And the sex was cringey considering they were 18 and having grown man, very experienced, over the top sex scenes. It was a little off putting and uncomfortable. There was nothing romantic happening. It was angst, pining, and hooking up.

In addition to that, there were other things that just didn't fit. The fact that they were renting cars at 18 years old to drive cross country from CA to CT didn't fit because 18 year olds cannot rent cars in California or in 48 out of 50 US states without being active military. One of the main characters mentions his $1,000 credit card limit, yet was willing to pay anything to rent the car and then fill up with gas, eat, etc. the whole way across the country. Not realistic at all. The other main character had a girlfriend for 4 years to hide that he was gay and his girlfriend is the one who helped him to understand that he is gay and come to terms with it. Now they are best friends. Again, they are 18 and this happened in a very short time frame. How many 18 year old girls do you know who are that mature, understanding, and immediately forgiving?

Another thing that I realized while listening to this book is that I have read/listened to so many LGBTQ books that have substance and a storyline outside of the main characters' LGBTQ identity, that I no longer have any interest in reading a book where there is some sort of drama surrounding the mc being accepted for who they are or some sort of coming out issue. That is all valid, real life stuff, and I'm sure helpful and relatable for many people to see in books, but I find it a tiresome plot device. I guess I just prefer books that have more substance.

I'm glad I have read and really liked something else (The Christmas Deal) of this author's prior to this book, because if not, I would never try another book of hers after this one.

The narration was fine. No complaints there.

1.5 stars overall.