I Could Live Here Forever

A Novel

By: Hanna Halperin

Narrated by: Megan Trout

A BELLETRIST BOOK CLUB PICK

“Halperin’s radiant second novel walks the fine line between the longing for couplehood and the torture of codependency. . . . Let the rapturous intimacy and gut-churning ups and downs begin!”—Leigh Haber, The New York Times Book Review

“I read this book in three days and canceled plans to finish it. It is heart-wrenching and relatable in so many ways.”—Emma Roberts

By the award-winning author of Something Wild, a gripping portrait of a tumultuous, consuming relationship between a young woman and a recovering addict

When Leah Kempler meets Charlie Nelson in line at the grocery store, their attraction is immediate and intense. Charlie, with his big feelings and grand proclamations of love, captivates her completely. But there are peculiarities of his life—he’s older than her but lives with his parents; he meets up with a friend at odd hours of the night; he sleeps a lot and always seems to be coming down with something. He confesses that he’s a recovering heroin addict, but he promises Leah that he’s never going to use again.

Leah's friends and family are concerned. As she finds herself getting deeper into an isolated relationship, one of manipulation and denial, the truth about Charlie feels as blurry as their time together. Even when Charlie’s behavior becomes increasingly erratic, when he starts to make Leah feel unsafe, she can’t help but feel that what exists between them is destined. Charlie is wide open, boyish, and unbearably handsome. The bounds of Leah’s own pain—and love—are so deep that she can’t see him spiraling into self-destruction.

Hanna Halperin writes with aching vulnerability and intimacy, sharply attuned to Leah’s desire for an all-consuming, compulsive connection. I Could Live Here Forever exposes the chasm between perception and truth to tell an intoxicating story of one woman’s relationship with an addict, the accompanying swirl of compassion and codependence, and her enduring search for love and wholeness.

©2023 Hanna Halperin (P)2023 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

“Aching and tender. . . . Halperin’s radiant second novel walks the fine line between the longing for couplehood and the torture of codependency. . . . Halperin writes from a millennial point of view, probing themes of social anxiety and intense trepidation about the future. But Halperin’s take on love sets her apart: As misguided as Leah’s feelings for Charlie may seem, they are pure and hopeful — about as untainted by cynicism as it is possible to be.” —Leigh Haber, The New York Times Book Review

“A compelling new version of the addiction novel. . . . I Could Live Here Forever brings readers deep into the world of addicts and those who love them. . . . Like addiction, and codependence, and internalized misogyny, I Could Live Here Forever is a wrenching story that’s been lived and told before. Halperin does us a service by sharing her version of it, entertaining, warning and educating us with her all-too-accurate novel.” —Meredith Maran, The Washington Post

“This novel is so good and follows closely on the heels of Hanna Halperin's prior novel (which I also loved), Something Wild. There's just something about Halperin's writing style and how she captures difficult, troubled characters.” —Zibby Owens, Good Morning America

Very slow moving

This was unfortunately so slow and hard to get through. It was hard to be drawn in.

Very relatable

This book messed me up! If you’ve ever been in a relationship with an addict this book will hit you were it hurts. Very good book though but be mindful there is many NSFW scenes

Very well written

Represents the experiences of this generation well, the generation of iPhones, tindr, and the opioid epidemic

The accuracy in the depiction of the roller coaster of feelings that occurs in a doomed and dysfunctional relationship

This beautiful story breaks your heart yet at the same time confirms every feeling, thought and frustrating experience of those who saw remnants of themselves in Leah because they too had loved someone destined for destruction

A little slow but painfully real

This story is really slow. I found the first chapter hard to get through, especially because I didn’t enjoy the super breathy narration style.

But I am glad I stuck with it. I don’t know that I can say I ENJOYED this book, more that I felt it in a way that was sometimes incredibly uncomfortable, but I think that’s the point.

Profound

I am stunned with the way Hanna weaves small, realistic moments into something grandly profound. We live in an epidemic of addiction, so you are sure to have known a relationship like the one at the center of this book — or been in one yourself. So much is to be learned from this book. And I loved the setting at the creative writing program of University of Wisconsin Madison. It makes for a very meta experience of reading (or listening). But the best part— the book offers mini crash courses on love, creativity, pain, addiction, ambition, and hope. After reading her last two books, I am now a Hanna Halperin fan forever.

So Very Slow

Got to chapter 11. Way too slow for me. Felt I was like walking through mud.

Exuberant and immersive experience

"I Could Live Here Forever" by Hanna Halperin is a mesmerizing exploration of love, addiction, and the pursuit of connection. Megan Trout's exceptional voice acting elevates the story, infusing it with an infectious energy that lingers long after the final page.

Trout's talent radiates throughout the narrative, breathing life into the captivating character of Leah Kempler. Her voice dances with passion, expertly capturing Leah's desires for a profound bond. With a voice filled with hope and determination, she takes listeners on a journey through the blurred lines of perception and truth, reminding us that amidst the chaos of life, there is always room for redemption.

Trout's depiction of Charlie Nelson is extraordinary, effortlessly navigating the complexities of his character. Her seamless transitions between his charming persona and outward struggles make his path to recovery all the more compelling. The chemistry between Trout's portrayal of Leah and Charlie crackles with electricity, enveloping the listener in a whirlwind of emotions.

Halperin's prose, brimming with heartfelt vulnerability and introspection, finds a perfect counterpart in Trout's vibrant performance, resulting in an exuberant and immersive experience.

A solid listen

I really enjoyed this book. As the partner of someone in recovery (8 years fully sober, fortunately), a lot of it rang true. The narrator created a good performance, particularly of the female characters. The twists and turns of addiction had me reacting aloud inadvertently as I read, so clearly it held my attention!

Most awful narration

The book is fine but the narrator makes it insufferable! She emotes in every single sentence. Absolute torture.