How to Be a Perfect Christian

Your Comprehensive Guide to Flawless Spiritual Living

By: The Babylon Bee

Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell, Paul Boehmer

With a biting, satirical style reminiscent of The Onion, How to Be a Perfect Christian takes a humorous look at the quirks of cultural Christianity while subtly challenging the listener to search for more than a cultural faith.

Written in the trademark style of The Babylon Bee, this book humorously satirizes cultural Christianity while peppering in subtle challenges to the listener. Through humor and sarcasm (and a handy meter to rank your "holiness" as you progress through the audiobook), listeners will be called to find a more biblical understanding of the Christian faith, all while poking fun at the quirks of the modern, American Christian community.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2018 The Babylon Bee, LLC (P)2018 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

"I love the Babylon Bee, whose authors are the Jonathan Swift of our era. I'm rarely sure whether to laugh or cry. The only time I wasn't giggling in this book was when I was wincing from a well-placed poke. What makes their stuff my favorite, however, is that it never degrades into cynical. It's clear that behind their snarky humor is something they genuinely love: the church." (J. D. Greear, author of Not God Enough: Why Your Small God Leads to Big Problems and Stop Asking Jesus into Your Heart: How to Know for Sure You Are Saved)

"Forget love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control! Perfection is so much better than the fruit of the Spirit. And, as the Babylon Bee's How to Be a Perfect Christian shows, it's a lot easier too." (Karen Swallow Prior, author of Booked: Literature in the Soul of Me and Fierce Convictions: The Extraordinary Life of Hannah More - Poet, Reformer Abolitionist)

Satire at its best makes you think

Having read Babylon Bee this book fits into that category. Satire that is expressly Christian in nature. It had me howling with delight.

great book book by an awesome company!

awesome narration, and kept me
laughing the entire way through! it also had me looking up verses and quotes to see the actual meaning which made it that much more enjoyable!

If You Can't Laugh At This...Lighten Up, Francis!

If You Can't Laugh At This...Lighten Up, Francis!
God created you with a sense of humor...if you don't think so, look in the mirror.

made me laugh a lot

absolutely great. the satire of this book was definitely what I needed to laugh out loud!

holy audiobook!

I feel incredibly uplifted and a thousand times more spiritual than before. I had no idea what I was missing, what I was doing wrong, but this really helped me on my way to becoming a perfect Christian. #blessed

p.s. if the authors are reading this, how many holiness points is a review of a book like this worth? Do I have to post it to my Facebook to count?

Overall Hilarious.

Overall a hilarious book. The sarcasm was spot on! Unfortunately it was so comedic because it’s very close to the truth.

Wear Steel-towed Shoes

Be sure to wear steel-towed shoes when you read this offering from the Babylon Bee! Funny? Yes! I often found myself laughing out loud as i journeyed to work in the morning. Anyone who has been deeply steeped in the America's Christian culture will find many opportunities to reflect on their own "church" experience. Only the self-righteous will truly be offended biting satire. Sadly, they occasionally stepped on my toes which says something my own self-righteous attitudes. Don't get me wrong, sin is destructive and displays rebellion against God, but while we (in the church) are relatively good at avoiding and condemning the "big sins," the Babylon Bee tends to go after the more subtle sins we all hide behind (gossip, pride, judging etc). Much too funny. As an young believer I witnessed much of this concerning music. Back then the "church" soundly condemned Christian music with drums and guitars (DEVIL MUSIC was the common name). The music in most churches today makes those early Jesus Music LP's sound like choir music or hymns. If you've been around the block and have a sense of humor - this is quite fun and worth the listen.

Fantastic Satire of Cultural Christianity that Has Lost Its Way

This hilarious sarcastic audiobook preaches a powerful spiritual message against the idolatry and legalism that has taken over so much of American Protestantism and does so with many laughs and insights along the way!

I’m a huge fan of the Babylon Bee in its current form that does more secular political satire, but this book is a classic!

Mercilessly entertaining

This book had me laughing out loud. The writing is extremely well done, and there are dozens of great funny zingers to quote. The one "flaw" is that it isn't internally consistent. However, the reason is that they're making fun of those on all sides. They're merciless, but they make you think. I certainly could see a bit of myself in some points (if not my intentions, certainly how I could be viewed), as well as my local church and other churches I've visited. Like they say, "it's funny because it's true". Note that this probably wouldn't register with those who aren't familiar with church or churches, the Bible, church history, etc. For example, pretty much every reference to the Bible is misquoted on purpose. And if you just hate Christianity and aren't aware that this is actually written for and about Christians, you may find it funny but not grasp it in the spirit in which it is written. If you're a Christian with a great sense of humor and aren't easily offended, this is for you.

Oh the joy of works and doubt!

This book was just incredible. The comprehensive guide to getting on the FastTrack to the lesser known fruit of the spirit, doubting my eternal rest!

I wish I would have continued listening when they told people to talk about other Bible translations with KJV only believers. I engaged someone in Arizona who I was excitedly sharing the truth of the ESV with who I have seen on the magical interwebs and couldn't wait to take this books advice... Well I am now in hiding and have since listened to the disclaimer. What a fearful thing to fall into the YouTube subject line of the KJV only preacher.

Great work, I look forward to other titles that did into eschatology, creeds, and the all important baptism debates!