How to Be Dead
A Love Story
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How to Be Dead
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Narrated by:
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Barbara Rosenblat
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By:
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Laurel Schmidt
About this listen
How to Be Dead: A Love Story by Laurel Schmidt explores what it means to be fully alive - even in the afterlife. A tale told with humor, heart, and intelligence, it celebrates the power of memory and the lifesaving potential of an excellent espresso.
Frances Beacon, longevity guru and best-selling author of Sex, Drugs and Social Security, is at the peak of her second career when a New York City cab catapults her into the afterlife. Shocked, confused, and royally pissed, all she wants is to go home. Instead, she’s enrolled in the University of the Afterlife, where this overachiever turns into a dropout after being hit with a tsunami of obstacles. Frances spars with a host of bureaucrats, misogynists, and a mysterious Court that can condemn her to frigus repono - permanent cold storage. But her fiercest opponent is her own heart, the thing she must explore and embrace to win her freedom.
In this compassionate, comedic saga of self-discovery, Frances learns that the only way to live again is to learn how to be dead.
©2021 Laurel Schmidt (P)2021 Laurel SchmidtListeners also enjoyed...
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-
Story4 out of 5 stars 42
Josie Banks is a girl without a past. After being found unconscious with no memory, she was shuffled in and out of foster homes where she suffered years of abuse - an experience that left her broken, damaged, and clinging to drugs and meaningless hook-ups to numb her pain. When Josie disappeared years ago, she took a piece of Tristan with her. She’s the girl he thought he lost forever - the one he’s never been able to forget. Now a twist of fate has brought them back together, and he never wants to let her out of his inked arms again.
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5 out of 5 stars
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you will feel so many emotions threw out this book
- By sydney on 06-12-14
By: Season Vining
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The Collectors' Society
- The Collectors' Society, Book 1
- By: Heather Lyons
- Narrated by: Gemma Dawson
- Length: 12 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 97
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 89
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 89
After years in Wonderland, Alice has returned to England as an adult, desperate to reclaim sanity and control over her life. An enigmatic gentleman with an intriguing job offer too tempting to resist changes her plans for a calm existence. Soon, she's whisked to New York and initiated into the Collectors' Society, a secret organization whose members confirm that famous stories are anything but straightforward and that what she knows about the world is only a fraction of the truth.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A true adventure full of the classics!
- By evelyn torres on 06-17-17
By: Heather Lyons
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Alienated
- Alienated, Book 1
- By: Melissa Landers
- Narrated by: Madeleine Lambert
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 246
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 226
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 229
Two years ago, the aliens made contact. Now Cara Sweeney is going to be sharing a bathroom with one of them. Handpicked to host the first-ever L'eihr exchange student, Cara thinks her future is set. Not only does she get a free ride to her dream college, she'll have inside information about the mysterious L'eihrs that every journalist would kill for. Cara's blog following is about to skyrocket. Still, Cara isn't sure what to think when she meets Aelyx. Humans and L'eihrs have nearly identical DNA, but cold, infuriatingly brilliant Aelyx couldn't seem more alien.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Alien romance
- By IloveYAbooks on 01-27-16
By: Melissa Landers
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The Snow Garden
- By: Christopher Rice
- Narrated by: James Daniels
- Length: 12 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 187
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 129
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Story4 out of 5 stars 129
It is more than just the late November weather that has cast a chill over the campus of Atherton University. When the wife of respected professor Eric Eberman is killed in a tragic accident, his secret student lover, Randall Stone, fears the professor tried to avert career suicide by committing homicide. Or do the dead woman’s haunting last words point to an even more damning crime? Fearing the truth, Randall digs into his lover’s hidden history.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Murder, Mystery and Mayhem at it's best!
- By Tammy M on 11-30-14
By: Christopher Rice
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Still
- Still Series, Book 1
- By: Camilla Monk
- Narrated by: Amy McFadden
- Length: 9 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 75
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 65
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 65
It always started like this, a pulse inside me, like a warning before the tide surged, roared... and froze everything. Twenty-year old Emma just landed in Rome, to find the father who walked out of her life more than a decade ago and was too busy eating pizza to call. Traveling with her is a secret she's carried alone since childhood: sometimes, around her, time stops. People and cars freeze, rain hangs still in the air and there's only her left in the silence. To make things worse, instead of her dad, Em runs into a past she'd rather forget in the person of Lily, her stepsister.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Camilla Monk & Amy McFadden - the dynamic duo!
- By Bethany on 07-03-18
By: Camilla Monk
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The Lucidites Boxed Set
- By: Sarah Noffke
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Klett
- Length: 35 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 131
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 122
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 122
Meet Roya Stark. She drowns every night in her dreams, spends her hours reading classic literature to avoid her family's ridicule, and is prone to premonitions - which are becoming more frequent. And now her dreams are filled with strangers offering to reveal what she has always wanted to know: Who is she? That's the question that haunts her, and she's about to find out. But will Roya live to regret learning the truth?
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4 out of 5 stars
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it was ok
- By Michael klemm on 02-07-21
By: Sarah Noffke
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All That's Left of Me
- A Novel
- By: Janis Thomas
- Narrated by: Angela Dawe
- Length: 11 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 159
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 137
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 136
It starts with a simple wish, and Emma Davies hardly notices when it comes true. She’s too preoccupied with a life she isn’t happy in - the spark in her marriage has fizzled, her career is headed nowhere and her boss is a misogynist. Her teenage daughter has grown distant, and her heart breaks daily for her teenage son with cerebral palsy. But soon Emma discovers her wishes are coming true, and she realizes that she has been given the power to change her life. Either that, or she’s going insane.
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4 out of 5 stars
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MADE ME THINK ABOUT MY LIFE . . . .
- By TONYA on 06-29-19
By: Janis Thomas
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Bending the Iron
- By: Libby Drew
- Narrated by: Robert Black
- Length: 4 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 88
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 83
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Story4 out of 5 stars 85
Michael feels trapped. In his conservative, poor hometown where he has to keep his sexuality hidden. In his dead-end job. In caring for his alcoholic grandfather. Everything changes when he meets Eric, the new curator for the railroad museum. His curiosity about the passionate man quickly gives way to an intense attraction - one that Eric happily returns. To give their future a chance, they both must fight being trapped in the past.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Good.. but
- By Candateshia Pafford on 08-22-13
By: Libby Drew
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The Curiosity
- A Novel
- By: Stephen Kiernan
- Narrated by: Kate Udall, Erik Bergmann, George Guidall
- Length: 15 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 115
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 100
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Story4 out of 5 stars 101
Dr. Kate Philo makes a breathtaking discovery in the Arctic: the body of a man buried deep in the ice. Heedless of the potential consequences, Kate's boss orders that the frozen man be reanimated. As the man begins to regain his memories, the team learns that he was - is - a judge, Jeremiah Rice. Thrown together by fate, Kate and Jeremiah grow closer. But the clock is ticking and Jeremiah's new life is slipping away. Kate must decide how far she is willing to go to protect the man she has come to love.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Almost perfect
- By ellegreenland on 04-14-14
By: Stephen Kiernan
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The Good Samaritan
- By: RC Boldt
- Narrated by: Lance Greenfield, Marisa Vitali
- Length: 8 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 80
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 76
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 76
The biggest story of her life is the one he wants to hide. I’m homeless by choice. I have no intention of returning to my former life after what I’ve done. This - living among the filth and discarded remnants of others - is what I deserve. As atonement for my sins, I give back; I help those who cannot help themselves. But it’s always under the guise of anonymity. Newspaper headlines throughout the city are clamoring to discover my identity. Including the beautiful woman who manages to see through my “armor.” She has the capability to put my entire life at risk.
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4 out of 5 stars
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I LOVED IT!
- By whatcha.listening.to on 04-14-19
By: RC Boldt
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Scarred
- By: Joanne Macgregor
- Narrated by: Kelsey Egan, Richard Lothian
- Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 63
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 60
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Story4 out of 5 stars 60
Sloane Munster had the perfect life - until she didn't. Now 17-year-old Sloane is trying to reboot her life after a serious accident left her badly scarred and emotionally traumatized. Starting her senior year at a different school, she recognizes Luke Naughton, a swimmer whom she once had a crush on, in her new class. But when she smiles at him, he glares back with revulsion, and she's sure he's disgusted by her ugly scar.
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2 out of 5 stars
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The ending is just STUPID
- By Effie on 02-05-19
By: Joanne Macgregor
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The Chaos of Standing Still
- By: Jessica Brody
- Narrated by: Amy McFadden
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 57
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 55
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Story4 out of 5 stars 55
Ryn has one unread text message on her phone. And it's been there for almost a year. She hasn't tried to read it. She can't. She won't. Because that one message is the last thing her best friend ever said to her before she died. But as Ryn finds herself trapped in the Denver International Airport on New Year's Eve thanks to a never-ending blizzard on the one-year anniversary of her best friend's death, fate literally runs into her. And his name is Xander.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This book is wild!
- By World's Favorite Graham Cracker on 07-02-24
By: Jessica Brody
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Shade
- By: Jeri Smith-Ready
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 105
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 76
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Story4 out of 5 stars 76
When her boyfriend dies a most untimely death, Aura--who can see ghosts--is forced to reconsider her relationship with the living and dead in Shade.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Not the same old paranormal romance
- By Alexis on 01-28-12
By: Jeri Smith-Ready
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The Kill Clause
- By: Gregg Hurwitz
- Narrated by: Peter Friedman
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 855
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 749
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Story4 out of 5 stars 750
Tim Rackley, a deputy U.S. marshal, watches helplessly as his daughter's killer walks free on a legal technicality. He is suddenly forced to explore his own deadly options, a quest that leads him into the welcoming fold of "The Commission".
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3 out of 5 stars
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Did not realize it was abridged
- By David Kindell on 11-13-18
By: Gregg Hurwitz
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Second Star to the Right
- By: Mary Alice Monroe
- Narrated by: Mary Alice Monroe
- Length: 11 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 113
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 105
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 105
Practical, smart, and desperate to escape a shadowy past, Faye takes a job at a top advertising firm in London where she hopes she and her children can find a fresh start. When she finds the beautiful two-story flat for rent in a stately old Victorian complete with a neglected but tumbling English garden, she can scarcely believe her good fortune. But it isn't long before Faye realizes not everything in the old home may be as peaceful as it seems.
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5 out of 5 stars
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what a beautiful love story! it's a must read.
- By Amazon Customer on 04-03-15
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Bitter Spirits
- Roaring Twenties, Book 1
- By: Jenn Bennett
- Narrated by: Amy Landon
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 117
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 108
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 108
Aida Palmer performs a spirit medium show onstage at Chinatown's illustrious Gris-Gris speakeasy. However, her ability to summon (and expel) the dead is more than just an act. Winter Magnusson is a notorious bootlegger who's more comfortable with guns than ghosts. Unfortunately for him, he's the recent target of a malevolent hex that renders him a magnet for hauntings. After Aida's supernatural assistance is enlisted to banish the ghosts, her spirit-chilled aura heats up as the charming bootlegger casts a different sort of spell on her.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Cute paranormal romance set in the 1920s
- By Karissa Eckert on 08-13-17
By: Jenn Bennett
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An Excess Male
- A Novel
- By: Maggie Shen King
- Narrated by: James Chen, Tim Chiou, Elaine Kao
- Length: 13 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 85
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 76
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Story4 out of 5 stars 75
Under the One Child Policy, everyone plotted to have a son. Now 40 million of them can't find wives. China's One Child Policy and its cultural preference for male heirs has created a society overrun by 40 million unmarriageable men. By the year 2030, more than 25 percent of men in their late 30s will not have families of their own. An Excess Male is one such leftover man's quest for love and family under a state that seeks to glorify its past mistakes and impose order through authoritarian measures, reinvigorated Communist ideals, and social engineering.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Enjoyable
- By John on 10-01-17
By: Maggie Shen King