Hijab Butch Blues

A Memoir

By: Lamya H

Narrated by: Ashraf Shirazi

A queer hijabi Muslim immigrant survives her coming-of-age by drawing strength and hope from stories in the Quran in this “raw and relatable memoir that challenges societal norms and expectations” (Linah Mohammad, NPR).

“A masterful, must-read contribution to conversations on power, justice, healing, and devotion from a singular voice I now trust with my whole heart.”—Glennon Doyle, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Untamed

THEM’S HONOREE IN LITERATURE • AN AUDACIOUS BOOK CLUB PICK • WINNER: The Brooklyn Public Library Book Prize, the Stonewall Book Award, the Israel Fishman Nonfiction Award • Lambda Literary Award Finalist

A BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR: NPR, Autostraddle, Book Riot, BookPage, Harper’s Bazaar, Electric Lit, She Reads

When fourteen-year-old Lamya H realizes she has a crush on her teacher—her female teacher—she covers up her attraction, an attraction she can’t yet name, by playing up her roles as overachiever and class clown. Born in South Asia, she moved to the Middle East at a young age and has spent years feeling out of place, like her own desires and dreams don’t matter, and it’s easier to hide in plain sight. To disappear. But one day in Quran class, she reads a passage about Maryam that changes everything: When Maryam learned that she was pregnant, she insisted no man had touched her. Could Maryam, uninterested in men, be . . . like Lamya?

From that moment on, Lamya makes sense of her struggles and triumphs by comparing her experiences with some of the most famous stories in the Quran. She juxtaposes her coming out with Musa liberating his people from the pharoah; asks if Allah, who is neither male nor female, might instead be nonbinary; and, drawing on the faith and hope Nuh needed to construct his ark, begins to build a life of her own—ultimately finding that the answer to her lifelong quest for community and belonging lies in owning her identity as a queer, devout Muslim immigrant.

This searingly intimate memoir in essays, spanning Lamya’s childhood to her arrival in the United States for college through early-adult life in New York City, tells a universal story of courage, trust, and love, celebrating what it means to be a seeker and an architect of one’s own life.

©2023 Lamya H (P)2023 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

“This beautiful, exquisitely written memoir is as revolutionary now in its vulnerability, honesty, and as the gender explorations in Stone Butch Blues were in 1993 . . . a challenging and deeply satisfying and enlightening read.”—Roxane Gay, bestselling author of Bad Feminist

“As funny as it is original.”—The New York Times

“Hijab Butch Blues is a raw and relatable memoir that challenges societal norms and expectations. Through personal experiences, Lamya H navigates the complexities of gender, sexuality and faith as a queer, nonbinary Muslim. The book is a manifesto for self-acceptance and a call to action for dismantling rigid binaries. It’s a powerful reminder that we are all capable of defying labels and embracing our true selves.”—NPR, “Books We Love for 2023”

highly recommend

An excellent memoir on growing into being yourself. The writer gained a deeper meaning & a fuller life by viewing religious teachings through a lense of a modern queer lifestyle.

Couldn’t stop reading.

Amazing couldn’t put it down. I found the narrator extremely relatable esp given our overlapping cultural experiences. 10/10 would recommend 🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼❤️

A must read!

I love how this was written. It was a captivating new perspective and yet felt so true to my own story at the same time. I couldn’t put it down, and it will be a book I will certainly revisit and recommend.

Book of the year. Awarded by me.

I loved this book! it's well written and well performed. The author's perspective is familiar to me as a butch women and yet so different from my experience as a non muslim. I learned so much! It's the kind of book I want to hand out to my friends and say, "You have got to read this book!" There is a reason this book has won awards, it is book of my year.

Believe the Hype

Muslim memoirs can usually be campy but not this. The writer intertwines religiousity through stories of prophets and challenges the dogmatic thinking that she was raised with and sees in society. Her story takes a path which reminds me a lot of my own - going from isolation into finding a path rich of people similar to herself that challenge her to be better. Reader is great too.

I feel so represented <3

I’m so thankful to the author Lamya H for being so vulnerable and sharing their story. I feel much less alone and filled with renewed hope. Hijab Butch Blues is gorgeously written and versed, the author’s voice and growth strikes through with rawness and authenticity. A highly recommend read!

A wonderful memoir

I very much enjoyed listening to this wonderful memoir by Lamya H. I enjoyed learning about her life & how she took Islam & found ways to make it fit her queer, feminist identity. I also enjoyed her stories from the Quran. They use many of the same people from mostly the Hebrew bible but also from the Christian bible. The stories differ in that they emphasize Islam. Yet they hold many of the same dilemmas & foundations of faith. While the fundamentals of Western religions are very paternalistic & can be used to hold back & abuse, there are different interpretations that can be used to help grow humanity! Lamya’s story is evidence of this.

The reader was just lovely to listen to. Her voice smooth & yet holding my attention.

I recommend this Audiobook.

Best book I’ve read in so long

The story is a light, easy read but also so complex and layered. The narrator was such a joy and made me want to learn Arabic! The story was a beautiful tribute to a complex religion and a lovely way to highlight the individualism in all religious practice.

Excellent and Informative

This book is wonderful in expressing what it is like for a woman of color who is Muslim and gay to deal with the unfortunate prejudices each of those characteristics brings. The analysis of certain Suras in the Quran interspersed with her life narrative makes this book even more compelling.

So powerful

One of the most powerful and insightful reads I have ever had the pleasure of listening too. Wow