Has Anyone Seen My Toes?
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Has Anyone Seen My Toes?
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Narrated by:
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Gibson Frazier
About this listen
From the bestselling author of Thank You for Smoking and Make Russia Great Again comes a comic tour de force, the story of one man’s “lively and funny” (New York Journal of Books) journey through lockdown during the Covid-19 pandemic.
During the pandemic, an aging screenwriter is holed up in a coastal South Carolina town with his beloved second wife, Peaches. He’s been binge-eating for a year and developed a notable rapport with the local fast-food chain Hippo King. He struggles to work—on a ludicrous screenplay about a Nazi attempt to kidnap FDR and, naturally, an article for Etymology Today on English words of Carthaginian origin. He’s told Peaches so often about the origins of the word mayonnaise that she’s developed an aversion to using the condiment. He thinks he has Covid. His wife thinks he is losing his mind. In short, your typical pandemic worries. Things were going from bad to worse even before his doctor suggested a battery of brain tests. He knows what that means: dementia!
But even in these scary times, there are plenty of things to do to distract him. His iPhone is fat-shaming him. He’s. been trying to read Proust and thinks the French novelist missed his true calling as a parfumier. And he’s discovered nefarious Russian influence on the local coroner’s face. Why is Putin so keen to control who decides who died peacefully and who by foul play in Pimento County. Could it be the local military base?
Has Anyone Seen My Toes? is a “laugh-out-loud” (Publishers Weekly) romp through a time that has been anything but funny.
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- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 744
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 668
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 662
Journalist, presenter, broadcaster, husband, father, vigorous all-rounder – Alan Partridge – a man with a fascinating past and an amazing future. Gregarious and popular, yet Alan’s never happier than when relaxing in his own five-bedroom, south-built house with three acres of land and access to a private stream. But who is this mysterious enigma? Alan Gordon Partridge is the best – and best-loved – radio presenter in the region. Born into a changing world of rationing, Teddy Boys, apes in space and the launch of ITV, Alan’s broadcasting career began as chief DJ of Radio Smile....
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5 out of 5 stars
-
An Anglican giant among pygmies
- By John on 06-20-12
By: Alan Partridge
-
Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 365
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 325
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 322
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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2 out of 5 stars
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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The Eyre Affair
- A Thursday Next Novel
- By: Jasper Fforde
- Narrated by: Susan Duerden
- Length: 12 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,723
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,197
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Story4 out of 5 stars 2,198
In Jasper Fforde's Great Britain, circa 1985, time travel is routine, cloning is a reality (dodos are the resurrected pet of choice), and literature is taken very, very seriously. England is a virtual police state where an aunt can get lost (literally) in a Wordsworth poem and forging Byronic verse is a punishable offense. All this is business as usual for Thursday Next, renowned Special Operative in literary detection.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Worthy Read
- By chicagoalum on 01-21-10
By: Jasper Fforde
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Mystery Man
- By: Colin Bateman
- Narrated by: Stephen Armstrong
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 99
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 78
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 77
He’s the Man With No Name and the owner of No Alibis, a mystery bookshop in Belfast. But when a detective agency next door goes bust, the agency’s clients start calling into his shop asking him to solve their cases. It’s not as if there’s any danger involved. It’s an easy way to sell books to his gullible customers and Alison, the beautiful girl in the jewellery shop across the road, will surely be impressed. Except she’s not – because she can see the bigger picture.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Mystery, humor & literary nuances - GREAT
- By Toby on 09-06-13
By: Colin Bateman
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The Bone Clocks
- By: David Mitchell
- Narrated by: Jessica Ball, Leon Williams, Colin Mace, and others
- Length: 24 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 4,088
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,659
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Story4 out of 5 stars 3,667
Following a scalding row with her mother, 15-year-old Holly Sykes slams the door on her old life. But Holly is no typical teenage runaway: A sensitive child once contacted by voices she knew only as "the radio people," Holly is a lightning rod for psychic phenomena. Now, as she wanders deeper into the English countryside, visions and coincidences reorder her reality until they assume the aura of a nightmare brought to life.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not Short Listed, This Time
- By Mel on 09-23-14
By: David Mitchell
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The Rabbit Factory
- By: Marshall Karp
- Narrated by: Tom Stechschulte, James Jenner
- Length: 14 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 191
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 156
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Story4 out of 5 stars 157
Marshall Karp is an acclaimed playwright known for his witty sense of humor and crackling dialogue. His debut novel The Rabbit Factory stars the irreverent LAPD detective duo of Mike Lomax and Terry Biggs. Dean Lamaar is the architect of an entertainment empire and the creator of iconic characters like Rambunctious Rabbit and McGreedy the Moose.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Bizarre but engaging mystery.1st-rate performance.
- By MidwestGeek on 12-19-12
By: Marshall Karp
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Thank You for Your Service
- By: David Finkel
- Narrated by: Arthur Bishop
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 231
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 196
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 198
No journalist has reckoned with the psychology of war as intimately as David Finkel. In The Good Soldiers, his bestselling account from the front lines of Baghdad, Finkel shadowed the men of the 2-16 Infantry Battalion as they carried out the infamous surge, a grueling fifteen-month tour that changed all of them forever. Now Finkel has followed many of those same men as they’ve returned home and struggled to reintegrate - both into their family lives and into American society at large.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Wrenching
- By Scott on 01-03-14
By: David Finkel
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Just Add Water
- Hetta Coffey Series, Book 1
- By: Jinx Schwartz
- Narrated by: Beth Richmond
- Length: 10 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 176
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 152
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 151
Hetta Coffey is a globe-trotting civil engineer with attitude who is working on coming of age, a little late. Pushing forty and still single, Hetta is the epitome of the "B" word: bold, bossy, brassy, breezy, and brash. After leaving a lifelong swath of failed multinational affairs in her jet stream, it is no wonder Hetta prefers living with her dog, R.J. But old habits die hard, and trolling for triceps is Hetta's hobby....
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3 out of 5 stars
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Mixed bag. The dog dies.
- By Elisabeth Carey on 09-02-18
By: Jinx Schwartz
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Welcome to the Monkey House
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: David Strathairn, Maria Tucci, Bill Irwin, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,018
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 712
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 711
Welcome to the Monkey House is a collection of Kurt Vonnegut's shorter works. Originally printed in publications as diverse as The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction and The Atlantic Monthly, what these superb stories share is Vonnegut's audacious sense of humor and extraordinary range of creative vision.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Classic Vonnegut
- By Michael Carrato on 08-17-06
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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The Big Over Easy
- A Nursery Crime
- By: Jasper Fforde
- Narrated by: Simon Prebble
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,284
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 821
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 823
It's Easter in Reading, a bad time for eggs, and no one can remember the last sunny day. Ovoid D-class nursery celebrity Humpty Stuyvesant Van Dumpty III, minor baronet, ex-convict, and former millionaire philanthropist, is found shattered to death beneath a wall in a shabby area of town. All the evidence points to his ex-wife, who has conveniently shot herself.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Total Whimsy
- By Bruce Sabin on 08-10-05
By: Jasper Fforde
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Lilian Jackson Braun 2-in-1 Edition, Volume 3
- The Cat Who Knew a Cardinal and The Cat Who Moved a Mountain
- By: Lilian Jackson Braun
- Narrated by: Theodore Bikel
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Abridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 106
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 91
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 90
Phoenix Books brings together two of Braun's best mysteries in the series, featuring: The Cat Who Knew a Cardinal: When the director of the Pickax Theatre Club's Shakespeare production is found dead in Qwilleran's apple orchard, Qwilleran and his Siamese sleuths must discover which player staged the murder. The Cat Who Moved a Mountain: On vacation in the Big Potato Mountains, Qwilleran stumbles into a mystery involving the murder of J. J. Hawkinfield, the developer who was pushed off a mountain years before after announcing his plans to develop the region.
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1 out of 5 stars
-
Not the full books
- By Lisa Cissna on 07-15-20
-
The Night Ocean
- By: Paul La Farge
- Narrated by: Elisabeth Rodgers
- Length: 13 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 126
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 118
-
Story3.5 out of 5 stars 117
Marina Willett, MD, has a problem. Her husband, Charlie, has become obsessed with H. P. Lovecraft, in particular with one episode in the legendary horror writer's life: In the summer of 1934, the "old gent" lived for two months with a gay teenage fan named Robert Barlow, at Barlow's family home in central Florida. What were the two of them up to? Were they friends - or something more? Just when Charlie thinks he's solved the puzzle, a new scandal erupts, and he disappears.
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2 out of 5 stars
-
Frustratingly Uneven Due to Clumsy Plot Structure
- By Adam on 06-15-17
By: Paul La Farge
-
Divorcing Jack
- By: Colin Bateman
- Narrated by: Adam Moore
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 24
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 22
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 22
Dan Starkey is a young journalist in Belfast, who shares with his wife, Patricia, a prodigious appetite for drinking and dancing. Then Dan meets a beautiful and apparently impoverished student. And then, terrifyingly, she is murdered. Is it because she was not exactly who she claimed to be? Is it the IRA? A Protestant extremist group? A jealous lover? Before long, Dan is a target himself.…
By: Colin Bateman
-
For Whom The Minivan Rolls
- Aaron Tucker Mystery, Book 1
- By: Jeffrey Cohen
- Narrated by: Damon Abdallah
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 38
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 33
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 32
Aaron Tucker isn't a detective. So he's baffled when the richest guy in his New Jersey town insists that Aaron, and Aaron alone, investigate the disappearance of his wife, who has inexplicably vanished from their home in the middle of the night. Funny, down-to-earth, lovable, and resourceful, Aaron Tucker, family man and freelance writer, reluctantly says yes, and continuously wishes he hadn't.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
Funny, Great Narration, Weak Mystery
- By Karen K on 07-16-15
By: Jeffrey Cohen
-
The Hummingbird
- A Novel
- By: Stephen P. Kiernan
- Narrated by: Elyse Mirto, John H. Mayer
- Length: 11 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 285
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 259
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 258
Deborah Birch is a seasoned hospice nurse whose daily work requires courage and compassion. But her skills and experience are tested in new and dramatic ways when her easygoing husband, Michael, returns from his third deployment to Iraq haunted by nightmares, anxiety, and rage. She is determined to help him heal and to restore the tender, loving marriage they once had.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
A MUST READ or LISTEN
- By Taryn on 01-23-16
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The year is 1517. Dismas is a relic hunter: one who procures "authentic" religious relics for wealthy and influential clients. His two most important patrons are Frederick the Wise, elector of Saxony; and soon-to-be Cardinal Albrecht of Mainz. While Frederick is drawn to the recent writing of Martin Luther, Albrecht pursues the financial and political benefits of religion and seeks to buy a cardinalship through the selling of indulgences.
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Fantastic -- and hilarious
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In 1994, Christopher Buckley published one of the most acclaimed and successful comic novels of the decade, Thank You for Smoking. Now, Buckley returns to the strange land of Washington, DC, in Little Green Men, a millennial comedy of manners about aliens and pundits...and how much they have in common. The reluctant hero of this hilarious novel is John Oliver Banion, a stuffy Washington talk-show host, whose privileged life is thrown into upheaval when aliens abduct him from his exclusive country-club golf course.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Nobody blows smoke like Nick Naylor. He’s a spokesman for the Academy of Tobacco Studies - in other words, a flack for cigarette companies, paid to promote their product on talk and news shows. The problem? He’s so good at his job, so effortlessly unethical, that he’s become a target for both anti-tobacco terrorists and for the FBI. In a country where half the people want to outlaw pleasure and the other want to sell you a disease, what will become of Nick Naylor?
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4 out of 5 stars
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Verbal Judo
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President of the United States Donald Vanderdamp is having a hell of a time getting his nominees appointed to the Supreme Court. After one nominee is rejected for insufficiently appreciating To Kill A Mockingbird, the president chooses someone so beloved by voters that the Senate won't have the guts to reject her.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Easily the funniest book on Audible.
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3 out of 5 stars
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London, 1664. Twenty years after the English revolution, the monarchy has been restored, and Charles II sits on the throne. The men who conspired to kill his father are either dead or disappeared. Baltasar “Balty” St. Michel is 24 and has no skills and no employment. He gets by on handouts from his brother-in-law Samuel Pepys, an officer in the king’s navy. Fed up with his needy relative, Pepys offers Balty a job in the New World. He is to track down two missing judges who were responsible for the execution of the last king, Charles I.
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5 out of 5 stars
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4 out of 5 stars
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What listeners say about Has Anyone Seen My Toes?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Scott
- 09-09-22
Pleasant, light, and safely in the Buckley oeuvre
A good way to pass a flight to/from Europe. Maybe 6 times will the other passengers look at you as you laugh out loud. All in good fun. A half-buried meditation on the pandemic we all just went through, full of absurdities (that seemed slightly less absurd at the time?). Worth the listen.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Iuliia Kulyk
- 08-18-23
Witty, witty, witty, witty,witty
Great book, make sure do not reed it in public. Others might consider you have a pseudobulbar affect.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anthony Zazzaro
- 09-17-22
Funny and informative
Christopher Buckley's dad would be very proud of him. This book was funny and packed with words I have never come across and history I have never studied. Don't miss this read
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- gege
- 04-24-24
topical Buckley!
I loved the character in this very funny novel. I think everyone can relate to covid crazy.
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Lawrence A.
- 09-22-22
Not his best work
Really a fan, but not of this work… if Hiemlick’sManuver was shit, then it was a step above this book…
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Richard
- 12-03-22
Disappointing
I love Christopher Buckley’s books, but this was terrible. Also, Gibson Frazier’s voice and timing made the jokes fall flat. Very disappointing.
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