God, If You're Not up There, I'm F*cked
Tales of Stand-up, Saturday Night Live, and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem
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God, If You're Not up There, I'm F*cked
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Narrated by:
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Darrell Hammond
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By:
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Darrell Hammond
About this listen
Tina Fey’s Bossypants meets David Carr’s The Night of the Gun in Darrell Hammond's groundbreaking memoir, God, If You’re Not up There, I’m F*cked - a raw look inside the troubled life and mind of an American comic genius.
By turns poignant and hilarious, Hammond takes listeners from the set of Saturday Night Live, where he was the show’s longest tenured cast member, to the drug-ridden streets of Harlem and into the twisting corridors of his own unflaggingly humorous consciousness. Mingling behind-the-scenes stories from television’s best loved comedy series with a dark look inside a world-class funnyman, God, If You’re Not up There, I’m F*cked is a book sure to resonate with anyone who shares a talent for performance, a love of comedy, or a desire to know how an artist can climb from the deepest despair to the very top of his profession.
To hear Hammond tell stories from the book, live from New York’s Comedy Cellar, check out That’s Clinton!, also available on Audible.
©2011 Darrell Hammond (P)2018 Audible, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Editorial Review
Spoken like a true comedian I braced myself for the pain this memoir promised (or threatened), but getting to know one of my favorite SNL cast members of all time seemed worth the risk. In the SNL seasons I’ve watched, Darrell Hammond takes the cake for versatility, becoming virtually unrecognizable as himself in almost every disguise he's worn over the years. My favorite, of course, is his Sean Connery in Celebrity Jeopardy (sorry, Bill Clinton). And while I was tangentially aware of the fact that beneath those disguises was a survivor of abuse who struggled with addiction, to hear him open up about the lows he overcame on his road to recovery has been a rewarding and as you'd expect from Hammond, entertaining emotional journey. —Lavina K., Audible Editor
Editor's Pick
Heartache and Hilarity with an SNL Legend
"In the SNL seasons I’ve watched, Darrell Hammond takes the cake for versatility, becoming virtually unrecognizable as himself in almost every disguise he's worn over the years. My favorite, of course, is his Sean Connery in Celebrity Jeopardy. While I was tangentially aware of the fact that beneath them was a survivor of abuse and addiction, to hear him open up about the lows he overcame on his road to recovery has been a rewarding and—as you'd expect from Hammond—entertaining emotional journey."
—Lavina K., Audible Editor
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- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 295
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 271
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In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
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The Chris Farley Show
- A Biography in Three Acts
- By: Tom Farley, Tanner Colby
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer, L. J. Ganser, Mark Boyett
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,381
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,115
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,102
The New York Times best-selling biography of an American comedy legend. After three years of sobriety, Chris Farley's life was at its creative peak until a string of professional disappointments chased him back to drugs and alcohol. He fought hard against them, but it was a fight he would lose in December 1997. Farley's fans immediately drew parallels between his death and that of his idol, John Belushi. Without looking deeper, however, many failed to see that Farley was much more than just another Hollywood drug overdose. In this officially authorized oral history, Farley's friends and family remember his work and life.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Incredibly sad....
- By Marie B on 04-12-15
By: Tom Farley, and others
-
Coreyography
- By: Corey Feldman
- Narrated by: Corey Feldman
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,919
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,639
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,634
In this brave and moving memoir, Corey Feldman is revealing the truth about what his life was like behind the scenes: His is a past that included physical, drug, and sexual abuse, a dysfunctional family from which he was emancipated at age fifteen, three high-profile arrests for drug possession, a nine-month stint in rehab, and a long, slow crawl back to the top of the box office.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Didn't like the Two Coreys, but liked this.
- By ricketsj on 04-29-14
By: Corey Feldman
-
Dynomite!
- Good Times, Bad Times…Our Times - A Memoir
- By: Jimmie Walker, Sal Manna
- Narrated by: Jimmie Walker
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 41
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 38
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 37
>Born into the violence of South Bronx ghetto life, the comic pioneer of TV’s Good Times fame offers a hilarious and politically charged review of his career as one of television’s first hugely successful Black stars. From opening for the Black Panthers and getting his first Tonight Show spot to becoming the first “Black” TV sitcom star, having comedians David Letterman and Jay Leno writing jokes for him, recording number-one comedy albums, and opening for rock n’ roll bands in 50,000 seat stadiums, Walker’s career hit all the highs.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
An transparent story of a socially but funny American icon.
- By John Lucasey on 05-08-21
By: Jimmie Walker, and others
-
Easy for You to Say
- By: John Melendez
- Narrated by: John Melendez
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 128
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 116
-
Story3.5 out of 5 stars 116
Easy For You To Say is "Stuttering" John Melendez's memoir of his childhood being bullied in school for his stutter; his years as an on-air personality with The Howard Stern Show; and his subsequent 10-year career as a writer and on-air announcer for Jay Leno's Tonight Show. It details his famously acerbic relationships with celebrities he interviewed/insulted (Raquel Welch once punched him in the face). In the audiobook, Howard Stern emerges as a surprisingly mean, stingy, and megalomaniacal boss - and Jay Leno as a seeming sufferer from OCD.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Was expecting more
- By Amazon Customer on 10-25-18
By: John Melendez
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I Only Know Who I Am When I Am Somebody Else
- My Life on the Street, on the Stage, and in the Movies
- By: Danny Aiello, Gil Reavill
- Narrated by: Danny Aiello
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 57
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 48
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 49
Beloved stage and screen actor Danny Aiello’s big-hearted memoir reveals a man of passion, integrity, and guts - and lays bare one of the most unlikely success stories ever told. Danny Aiello admits that he backed into his acting career by mistake. That’s easy to see when you begin at the beginning: Raised by his loving and fiercely resilient mother in the tenements of Manhattan and the South Bronx, and forever haunted by the death of his infant brother, Danny struggled early on to define who he was and who he could be.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I want to give Danny Aiello a big hug.
- By Mari K. on 01-22-15
By: Danny Aiello, and others
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You're Better than Me
- A Memoir
- By: Bonnie McFarlane
- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 295
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 271
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 268
In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
-
Stories I Only Tell My Friends
- An Autobiography
- By: Rob Lowe
- Narrated by: Rob Lowe
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 13,945
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 12,241
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 12,160
A teen idol at 15, an international icon and founder of the Brat Pack at 20, and one of Hollywood's top stars to this day, Rob Lowe chronicles his experiences. Never mean-spirited or salacious, Lowe delivers unexpected glimpses into his successes, disappointments, relationships, and one-of-a-kind encounters with people who shaped our world over the last 25 years. These stories are as entertaining as they are unforgettable.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Great Book and Great Story
- By Natalie J. Belle MD on 04-30-11
By: Rob Lowe
-
Wanna Bet?
- A Degenerate Gambler's Guide to Living on the Edge
- By: Artie Lange
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 359
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 323
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 320
The two-time best-selling author, comedian, actor, and radio icon explains the philosophy that has kept his existence boredom-free since the age of 13 - the love of risk. An avid sports better and frequent card player, Lange believes that the true gambler gets high not from winning, but from the chaotic unknown of betting itself. He recounts some of his favorite moments, many of which haven't involved money at all. In this candid and entertaining memoir, he looks back at the times he's wagered the intangible and priceless things in life: his health, his career, and his relationships.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
who needs Artie (to read)
- By B. Wenners on 08-24-18
By: Artie Lange
-
This Might Get a Little Heavy
- A Memoir
- By: Ralphie May, Nils Parker
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 284
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 248
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 249
There was a time when Ralphie May was one of the biggest stand-up comedians in the country, both by ticket sales and by tonnage. While some things changed - Ralphie lost half his body weight - others did not: He will be remembered as one of the most successful comics of his time. Completed just months before his untimely passing, in This Might Get a Little Heavy, Ralphie takes listeners on a behind-the-scenes tour of his life and career, one that winds across the country, over obstacles, beyond heartbreak, and through the golden age of stand-up.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
brilliant and tragic
- By Timothy Trujillo on 08-12-18
By: Ralphie May, and others
-
Loudmouth
- Tales (and Fantasies) of Sports, Sex, and Salvation from Behind the Microphone
- By: Craig Carton
- Narrated by: Craig Carton
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 40
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 34
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 34
In this debut, Carton invites the listener to join him as he recounts tales from his suburban youth, defends his long-held love affair with the New York Jets, reminisces about the shenanigans of some of the highest paid and most celebrated athletes playing today, and reflects on his work as one of radio's craftiest, most hilarious personalities ever to get behind the microphone.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Fun but too much about early life
- By Anthony A. Ciaccio on 07-13-13
By: Craig Carton
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American on Purpose
- The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot
- By: Craig Ferguson
- Narrated by: Craig Ferguson
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,269
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,509
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,501
In American on Purpose, Craig Ferguson delivers a moving and achingly funny memoir of living the American dream as he journeys from the mean streets of Glasgow, Scotland, to the comedic promised land of Hollywood. Along the way, he stumbles through several attempts to make his mark - as a punk rock musician, a construction worker, a bouncer, and, tragically, a modern dancer.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Unabashedly Honest
- By Diane on 12-09-09
By: Craig Ferguson
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Dirty Daddy
- The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian
- By: Bob Saget
- Narrated by: Bob Saget
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 536
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 479
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 478
Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Meh to the 2nd Power
- By Hilary on 06-30-14
By: Bob Saget
-
The Improv
- An Oral History of the Comedy Club That Revolutionized Stand-Up
- By: Budd Friedman, Tripp Whetsell, Jay Leno - foreword
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 10 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 47
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 40
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 41
In 1963, 30-year-old Friedman - who had recently quit his job as a Boston advertising executive and returned to his hometown of New York to become a theatrical producer - opened a coffee house for Broadway performers called the Improvisation. His goal? Simply to make a living, and if all went according to plan, to also make enough professional contacts to be able to mount his first Broadway show within a year's time. Later shortened to the Improv, its first West 44th Street location was in a seedy section of Manhattan's Hell's Kitchen.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Shockingly tone deaf
- By JenniferW on 06-28-23
By: Budd Friedman, and others
-
Liner Notes
- On Parents & Children, Exes & Excess, Death & Decay, & a Few of My Other Favorite Things
- By: Loudon Wainwright III
- Narrated by: Loudon Wainwright III
- Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 63
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 60
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 60
A memoir by the influential Grammy Award-winning singer and actor - son of journalist Loudon Wainwright, former husband of Kate McGarrigle and Suzzy Roche, and father of Rufus Wainwright, Martha Wainwright, Lucy Wainwright Roche, and Lexie Kelly Wainwright - a captivating meditation on relationships and creativity from the patriarch of one of America's great musical families. With a career spanning more than four decades, Loudon Wainwright III has established himself as one of the most enduring singer-songwriters who emerged from the late '60s.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Best ever book for listening
- By Jeff Bernhardt on 10-29-17
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The Filthy Truth
- By: Andrew Dice Clay, David Ritz
- Narrated by: Bruce Rubenstein
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 158
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 137
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 138
In this unapologetic and uncensored autobiography, Andrew Dice Clay is ready to set the record straight. He was the eighties’ answer to Lenny Bruce, with material that stretched the boundaries of decency and good taste to their breaking point, and in turn became the most vilified stand-up comic of all time.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
The Diceman Returns!
- By Steven D. Sorrell on 03-26-15
By: Andrew Dice Clay, and others
-
Digging Up Mother
- A Love Story
- By: Johnny Depp - foreword, Doug Stanhope
- Narrated by: Doug Stanhope and Friends
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,988
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,662
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,655
Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie.
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1 out of 5 stars
-
Not my thing.
- By J. Harral on 01-27-18
By: Johnny Depp - foreword, and others
-
You Might Remember Me
- The Life and Times of Phil Hartman
- By: Mike Thomas
- Narrated by: Corey Snow
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 288
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 264
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 266
Both joyous tribute and serious biography, Mike Thomas' You Might Remember Me is a celebration of Phil Hartman's multi-faceted career and an exhaustively reported, warts-and-all examination of his often intriguing and sometimes complicated life - a powerful, humor-filled and disquieting portrait of a man who was loved by many, admired by millions and taken from them far too early.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
I Will Remember You Phil Hartman
- By Roxanna on 12-19-14
By: Mike Thomas
-
The Mother of Black Hollywood
- A Memoir
- By: Jenifer Lewis
- Narrated by: Jenifer Lewis
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 11,244
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 10,053
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 10,013
Jenifer Lewis keeps it real in this provocative and touching memoir by a Midwestern girl with a dream whose journey from poverty to Hollywood will move, shock, and inspire listeners. Told in the audacious voice her fans adore, Jenifer describes a road to fame made treacherous by dysfunction and undiagnosed mental illness, including a sex addiction. Yet, supported by loving friends and strengthened by "inner soldiers", Jenifer never stopped entertaining and creating.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
I could barely finish it.
- By Manning Fam on 06-17-18
By: Jenifer Lewis
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What listeners say about God, If You're Not up There, I'm F*cked
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- N. Daniels
- 02-19-20
Listen to this book! You’ll have a lotta laughs, a lotta heartbreak, n learn something very important no matter who you are.
Engagingly entertaining as you’d expect from the hilarious n talented Darrell Hammond. More importantly, a heart-wrenching support for those w mental injury n an education for the rest. Thanks Darrell. Great job on the book n all the work you face everyday.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Cindy
- 08-07-19
Excellent Book!!!
Very funny, along with giving hope to those with addiction and/or mental health issues. Darrell Hammond is truly a gifted and unique human being.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- SugarPops
- 08-08-19
Incredible story masterfully performed.
What a journey this man has been through. Not having any of these struggles in my life, it was an excellent reminder to me that we usually don't know what makes people behave the way they do. His story reminded me to show kindness to those who probably need it most, avoid knee-jerk judgement and remember that all of our experiences are different. Thank you for that, Mr. Hammond!
It was also fun to hear some behind-the-scenes SNL stuff. I promise, should I ever get the chance to meet him, I will not ask him to do the Clinton voice.
The only bad thing about it was the sound editing. I admit I don't know how to do sound editing, but I could hear just about every pick-up. In the interview at the end, he mentioned how many there were and I thought, "Yep. That's about how many I heard." Don't let that discourage you from the book, though. The story and performance make up for it.
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- TDB
- 07-16-20
Fantastic
Absolutely loved this book
What an incredible story and told in such an honest and funny way. One of a kind ❤️
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- Barb49
- 10-26-21
Excellent!!
This book was so moving. It will break your heart, make you laugh and admire Darrell for making it through such a challenging life. I am so glad Darrell narrated this book himself. It was fabulous!
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- True Spirit
- 05-17-20
Inside the mind of a great talents journey
Always enjoyed his impressions. As a 12 stepper I appreciate Darrell sharing his story. Thank you Mr. Hammond. Continued peace
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- Kolsey
- 05-22-20
I wish everyone with a mental injury (and that is most of us!) would be able to listen or read this amazing book !!
Also watch his amazingly brave documentary on Netflix, Cracked Up! Darrell Hammond is a very courageous human being!! We can learn a lot from him and his life and how he managed to survive !! I think he was supposed to survive to give us his messages of how to find help and peace!!!
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- Becky
- 11-25-23
And your life sucks
Honest and heart opening. Plus a shit ton of laughs. It was this book that brought me to love audio books.
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- Sarah
- 08-18-18
Fabulous
Darrell Hammond epitomizes what can be great about recovery. This book is interesting, funny, honest and encouraging. Highly recommend ‼️
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- Mk Smidowski
- 06-12-20
what an amazing experience!
I could listen to Darrell for hours. His voice,his humor, all he has learned, experiences that are heartbreaking amd others that inspire. He put into words what I am just now understand at a happy, almost well adjusted 65. Thank you. I so enjoyed the extra bits at the end of the book. So glad I 'read' the book on Audible.
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