Girl, Stop Passing Out in Your Makeup
The Bad Girl's Guide to Getting Your Sh*t Together
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Girl, Stop Passing Out in Your Makeup
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Narrated by:
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Zara Barrie
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By:
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Zara Barrie
About this listen
Finally, a self-help book for the millennial party girl who hates bullshit advice from "experts" who know nothing about the trauma of drinking and sex, the acute pressure of keeping up with the rest of the Adderall poppin' world, and the insecurity that comes along with feeling like you have to be thin and gorgeous and sparkly in order to be seen.
©2020 Zara Barrie (P)2020 HighBridge, a division of Recorded BooksListeners also enjoyed...
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- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 343
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 306
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Story4 out of 5 stars 311
Babe Walker, center of the universe, is a painstakingly manicured white girl with an expensive smoothie habit, a proclivity for Louboutins, a mysterious mother she's never met, and approximately 50 bajillion Twitter followers. But her "problems" have landed her in shopping rehab - that's what happens when you spend $246,893.50 in one afternoon at Barneys. Now she's decided to write her memoir, revealing the gut-wrenching hurdles she's had to overcome in order to be perfect in every way, every day.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Hysterical
- By Kimberlykate on 02-01-13
By: Babe Walker
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I'm the One That I Want
- By: Margaret Cho
- Narrated by: Margaret Cho
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Abridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 161
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 76
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Story4 out of 5 stars 77
I'm the One That I Want, based on her show of the same name, is filled with dead-on insights about the experience of being a woman with attitude, of flowing with the highs and lows of life, and of creating one's own identity and acceptance. It is every bit as hilarious, shocking, and irreverent as she is.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hilarious and deeply engrossing
- By Ling on 04-10-03
By: Margaret Cho
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We Are the Luckiest
- The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life
- By: Laura McKowen
- Narrated by: Laura McKowen
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 2,601
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 2,246
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Story5 out of 5 stars 2,236
What could possibly be “lucky” about addiction? Absolutely nothing, thought Laura McKowen when drinking brought her to her knees. As she puts it, she “kicked and screamed . . . wishing for something - anything - else” to be her issue. The people who got to drink normally, she thought, were so damn lucky. But in the midst of early sobriety, when no longer able to anesthetize her pain and anxiety, she realized that she was actually the lucky one. Lucky to feel her feelings, live honestly, really be with her daughter, change her legacy.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Influencer Recovery, Part One
- By Keith Keller on 01-31-20
By: Laura McKowen
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Sober Stick Figure
- A Memoir
- By: Amber Tozer
- Narrated by: Amber Tozer
- Length: 5 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 244
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 217
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Story4 out of 5 stars 215
Sober Stick Figure is a memoir from stand-up comedian Amber Tozer, chronicling her life as an alcoholic - starting with her first drink at the age of seven - and her eventual recovery. Amber writes about the crazy and harsh truths of being raised by alcoholics, becoming one herself, stagnating in denial for years, and finally getting sober.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Author's voice unbearable
- By Kylee on 12-09-16
By: Amber Tozer
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Sparkle
- The Girl's Guide to Living a Deliciously Dazzling, Wildly Effervescent, Kick-Ass Life
- By: Cara Alwill Leyba
- Narrated by: Cara Alwill Leyba
- Length: 2 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 151
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 125
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 123
As women, we have become professional self-critics. We've become so convinced by society that we need to attain a level of perfection that just isn't real. Whether it's trying to get skinnier, look younger, get that promotion, please our parents, get fuller lips or rid ourselves of cellulite - we're on a never-ending mission to change and it always winds up making us feel like crap. In this straight-up girlfriend's guide, lifestylist and wellness coach Cara Alwill Leyba encourages women to discover what makes them sparkle so that they can design the lives they desire and deserve.
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3 out of 5 stars
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recovering alcoholics avoid
- By Raven Elise on 08-22-19
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Idiots
- Marriage, Motherhood, Milk & Mistakes
- By: Laura Clery
- Narrated by: Laura Clery
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,737
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,536
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Story5 out of 5 stars 1,528
A fresh, hilarious, and relatable collection of essays about everything from motherhood and marriage to sobriety and work-life balance (or imbalance) from the nationally bestselling author of the “honest, complicated” (SheKnows) Idiot.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Tears and laughs!!
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-22
By: Laura Clery
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30 Before 30
- How I Made a Mess of 20s, and You Can Too
- By: Marina Shifrin
- Narrated by: Marina Shifrin
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 36
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 32
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 33
Something was nagging Marina Shifrin. As a freshly minted adult with student loan payments and a “real” job she hated that paid her enough to get by if she also worked two other jobs, something needed to change. Marina and her friend each made lists of 30 things they’d do before the age of 30. The first thing on Marina’s list was, “Quit My Shitty Job”. So she did, and just like that the List powered her through her twenties. Told with humor and heart, 30 Before 30 will entertain, motivate, and challenge listeners to get out of their comfort zones and live their best lives.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Inspiring read
- By Chris Gledhill on 12-18-18
By: Marina Shifrin
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I Don’t Care about Your Band
- What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I’ve Dated
- By: Julie Klausner
- Narrated by: Julie Klausner
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 339
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 307
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Story4 out of 5 stars 309
In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care about Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love - and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage. I Don't Care about Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Shopping for Men at the Wrong Mall
- By Pamela Harvey on 01-02-13
By: Julie Klausner
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Your Voice in My Head
- A Memoir
- By: Emma Forrest
- Narrated by: Emma Forrest
- Length: 5 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 349
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 325
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Story4 out of 5 stars 323
Emma Forrest, a British journalist, was just 22 and living the fast life in New York City when she realized that her quirks had gone beyond eccentricity. In a cycle of loneliness, damaging relationships, and destructive behavior, she found herself in the chair of a slim, balding, and effortlessly optimistic psychiatrist--a man whose wisdom and humanity would wrench her from the dangerous tide after she tried to end her life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great, quick read
- By Amazon Customer on 02-12-21
By: Emma Forrest
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I Like You Just the Way I Am
- Stories About Me and Some Other People
- By: Jenny Mollen
- Narrated by: Jenny Mollen
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 835
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 745
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 737
Jenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free shit and she doesn't). She doesn't want much from life. Just to be loved - by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends' dogs, her husband, her husband's ex-girlfriends, her husband's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends, etc.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Hmm...Why am I listening to a bio of Jenny Mollen?
- By Elisabeth W. on 09-16-15
By: Jenny Mollen
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Challenge Accepted!
- 253 Steps to Becoming an Anti-It Girl
- By: Celeste Barber
- Narrated by: Celeste Barber
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,038
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 923
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 913
Part memoir, part comedy routine, part advice manual, Challenge Accepted! is Celeste at her best, revealing her secrets to love, friendship, family, and marriage (oh hai, #hothusband), and how to deal with life’s many challenges - why she checks the bath for sharks, how Nutella quite literally shaped who she is as a woman, and why being famous on Instagram is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s real, like totally, really real.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Prepare to crack up in the grocery store
- By Chicago_Mama on 05-30-19
By: Celeste Barber
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Blind Bet
- By: Tracey Richardson
- Narrated by: Sophie Daniels
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 113
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 106
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Story4 out of 5 stars 106
Ellen Turcotte's messy divorce forces her to take a break from her life. She'll go back, after some rest and relaxation. When her best friend suggests a diversion, she's quickly smitten with the allure of cards and the intriguing stranger who never seems to lose a hand. Surely she can play with dangerous temptation, just this once. Courtney Langford's favorite date is with Lady Luck. Ever since she missed a connection and avoided a deadly plane crash, she always comes up aces. Cards, women . . . seduction is just another way to win. Why should the lovely Ellen be any different?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Good book
- By Sab on 11-10-22
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Something Spectacular
- The True Story of One Rockette’s Battle with Bulimia
- By: Greta Gleissner
- Narrated by: Dina Pearlman
- Length: 9 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 137
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 123
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 124
Greta Gleissner, a longtime professional dancer, dreamed her whole life of becoming a Rockette. Then she became one and she fell into the grips of a powerful eating disorder that began poison her life from the inside out. Something Spectacular is Gleissner's raw, personal chronicle of the devastating effects bulimia exacts upon her life during her time as a Rockette. As her disorder takes over, she begins to lead a dual life: happy-go-lucky on the outside; tortured by obsessive, self-destructive voices on the inside
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3 out of 5 stars
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A Good Memoir, Badly Narrated
- By NNN on 10-09-17
By: Greta Gleissner
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 44
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 41
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Story4 out of 5 stars 40
Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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Fallen
- Out of the Sex Industry and into the Arms of the Savior
- By: Annie Lobert
- Narrated by: Annie Lobert
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 130
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 122
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Story5 out of 5 stars 122
When Annie grabbed at what looked like an opportunity to escape her tumultuous, abuse-filled home, she had never heard the term sex trafficking. Needing money, wanting to be loved, and desperately seeking control of her life, she stumbled into the ever-darkening world of the sex industry as a glamorous, high-class escort in Las Vegas. All that glittered was not gold. She embarked on a dangerous path toward self-destruction.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Life Changing
- By Yigosh on 07-03-15
By: Annie Lobert
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 539
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 488
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Story4 out of 5 stars 489
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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The Bad Boy's Girl
- By: Blair Holden
- Narrated by: Laura Hopatcong, Douglas Berger
- Length: 15 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 573
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 523
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Story4 out of 5 stars 524
Tessa O'Connell is a girl as ordinary as they come - or so she thinks. Her aim for senior year is to keep her head down yet somehow manage to convince her childhood love, Jay Stone, to love her back. What she isn't prepared for is for Jay's brother, Cole, to return to town and change the life she's always been seemingly content to live. Tall, gorgeous as all hell, and a bad boy with ocean blue eyes and the perfect edge of adorability, he was her greatest tormentor, her number one enemy.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I love this story!!!
- By Amazon Customer on 07-06-18
By: Blair Holden
What listeners say about Girl, Stop Passing Out in Your Makeup
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- RJC
- 04-01-21
The big sister I never had
Zara's charismatic and vividly descriptive writing style makes you feel as if she is talking to you personally.
Zara embodies the big sister that I never had. This brutally honest and bold book imparts the ability to find comfort in and acceptance of the dark insecurities and traumas of daily life.
I highly recommend this book, the audio book in particular which is narrated by the author (Zara).
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Stephanie Draper
- 02-16-21
Reading again and again.
So relatable, so raw, so beautiful, so hilarious. I love the way she speaks and owns her mess. We all have it! It’s so empowering and made me giggle so much. A beautiful delivery of an important message!
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