Finding Me

By: Dawn Brazil

Narrated by: Amanda Davidson

This is audiobook 1 in a YA Urban Fantasy series (three full length novels and 1 novella). The series is full of romance, action, and mystery.

My name is Chloe Carmichael. I’m 16 and a half. I live in the bustling metropolis of New York City. Life is grand, most of the time…at least when others are watching. I touch my pretend boyfriend, Zack (that’s a whole other story), and bam, I’m on the football field at school. Weirder. Zack’s dead. Murdered. But then, he not. I’m back in the school and Zack’s standing in front of me, waiting for me to respond to him kissing my friend Lauren (another thing I’ll have to explain later).

When the news reports Zack died, for real this time, I can’t ignore the mounting evidence: I’ve come unhinged, and my mother will not like this. A new student, Chris Thomas arrives (wouldn’t be a big deal if he wasn’t the embodiment of Adonis) at my school. I’m inexplicably drawn to him in a way I don’t understand (isn’t that always the way). A girl I’ve never met attends Zack’s in-school memorial with Chris. She disappears right before my eyes (blink, she’s gone). Then it’s clear: I’ve lost my mind. Chris and the disappearing girl offer an alternate explanation. They’ve known me for years (seriously).

Along with six others, we’re in a battle that stretches across multiple universes, with an enemy bent on destroying everyone in all of them–starting with us first. They try to explain more, but they can’t. They’re waiting for me to tell the rest (yeah, I’m shaken by that part, too). I can’t help them, though. I don’t remember being Amanda in another life.

©2014 Angelica Steward (P)2022 Angelica Steward

Cute story idea

This story was a good idea, but parts of it felt not quite hashed out. Amanda did a great job narrating, but the book itself didn't hold my attention and some of the details didn't quite add up. I won't spoil it for anyone. Maybe you'll like it more than I did!

Story was Fanfiction; Narration has quirks

The story:
I knew early on this was likely a Twilight fanfiction just based on how everything was laid out, but it wasn’t until late in the book that it was confirmed with a single line that mimicked the very beginning of the Twilight saga. I wish I knew ahead of time so I could save myself from reliving that horror.

But this is not Twilight, at least, not fully.

This is Gaslight.

Spoilers abound. You’ve been warned.

As a reader I felt like MC Chloe was being gaslit the whole time. Then I felt I myself was being gaslit. Was this intentional? Was this just to lead me into a wary state as I went through the story? I still don’t know that answer.

Chloe is an infuriating character. She claims great love of her two best friends that she’s known almost all her life but allows herself to brainwash them (supposedly) in the name of “practice.” Convincing your friends to be humiliated, but don’t worry, the dresses magically transform so really you were only tricked. Again, was Chloe gaslit into doing this? Was the reader supposed to be? What was this whole bait and switch purpose?

There were paragraphs dedicated to covering a (non-blood) aunt being in an insane asylum. Of Chloe volunteering at said asylum. Then never acknowledging its existence again (in this book, who knows about the rest). Leaving me once again to wonder: was this intentional? To send the reader into confusion only to pull the rug out later? Or was there an actual purpose?

The magical gifts…
Oh these powers drive me mad. I feel like they are vaguely mentioned, often used, never explained. Oh, you just casually stopped time? Then never mention it until chapters later, where you just casually mention that’s what you actually did? How does it work? Does the world freeze? How long can you stay in that state of being? Who or what determines who remains unfrozen? Why don’t you just infinitely freeze time so you can do research? How does the mind reading work (other frustrations on that coming momentarily)? What is the point of the electricity? You never explore that ever again.

Chloe herself is a frustrating character. Almost stupid when we are told she’s intelligent. “How do you know what I’m thinking?” They told you they were reading your mind. “Okay but it’s been like 3 months, how do you know what I’m thinking?” Chloe, they CAN READ MINDS! The ENO can read minds. That means they know what you’re thinking!

“Okay so let’s come up with a password system so I’ll know it’s you….” oh wait, that won’t work because the ENO CAN ALSO READ MINDS! Seriously the logic in here was driving me absolutely insane.

“I’m adopted. No wonder I hate my mother” okay. That was a thing.

At what point is Chloe supposed to get her powers back from her mother?

Aren’t all of the other universes supposed to be dead because they failed?

Why can they just go back to their old universe? Why are there no consequences for that?

Chris literally uses his powers to lie to Chloe into making her believe she feels good, makes her see things. And everyone is just okay with this? No big deal, you just straight up lied to her but it’s okay because she feels energized?

If they were born on earth in the next universe, why should the inoculations of a past life affect them now? New body, who dis…

Oh, and no worries fake Chris tried to make sexual advances the night before and you freak out because you’re not ready. But the warm Chris the very next day makes you just want to jump his bones. Because THAT makes sense. Talk about whiplash.

And why, if Chloe/Amanda’s premonitions only took place in dreams why does she have the vision of Zack in the beginning?

Will these questions be answered later on? Dare I find out? That remains to be seen…

The narration:
There were many quirks that could be found through the narration. The overall performance was very good and kept me going even after I realized this was a published Twilight fanfiction.

But the quirks in the narration I did find a little distracting. “Envelope,” as mail postage, is different than “envelop,” as embrace. This word was used enough, particularly at the end, that I kept pulling away from the story just to clip those moments and cringe.

Wonderful

This was a fun story with a great plot. I really enjoyed how we followed along with the MC and got to feel all the emotions she felt. It ended on a cliffhanger that makes you wanting so much more. The author did an incredible job with the book and the narrator did an excellent job telling the story!

Clever YA Fantasy

On the whole, I liked this story, but I thought it could use some editing. A 16-year-old girl finds out that she has lived a past life that she can't remember. Then a group of strangers tell her that she has to remember or the whole world was at risk. I liked the creative idea behind the story. I thought that Chloe was interesting as a character, but she doesn't evolve throughout the tale, she just sporadically changed her views and relationships. The other characters were one dimensional and had very little substance, other than as props or catalysts for Chloe's actions. Amanda Davidson's narration was fine as her voice was expressive; however, the word in the story was "envelop" and Amanda would pronounce it as "envelope" and that was somewhat distracting for me. I was given a free copy of the audiobook, and I have voluntarily posted this review.