Fat Vampire
A Never Coming of Age Story
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Fat Vampire
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Narrated by:
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Kirby Heyborne
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By:
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Adam Rex
About this listen
Doug Lee is undead quite by accident... attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and 15 forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under cover of the night. But it's just not the same.
Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her - hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her. But like the laws of life, love, and high school, the laws of vampire existence are complicated - it's not as easy as studying Dracula. Especially when the star of Vampire Hunters is hot on your trail in an attempt to boost ratings.
Searing, hilarious, and always unexpected, Fat Vampire is a satirical tour de force from one of the most original writers of fiction today.
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A DISGRACE TO AUTHORS AND MENTAL HEALTH EVERYWHERE
- By Amazon Customer on 06-27-18
By: Francesca Zappia
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The Best Horror of the Year, Volume 4
- By: Ellen Datlow - author/editor, Stephen King, Peter Straub
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell, Rebecca Mitchell, Michael Healy, and others
- Length: 16 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 215
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 196
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 195
With tales from Laird Barron, Stephen King, John Langan, Peter Straub, and many others, and featuring Datlow’s comprehensive overview of the year in horror, now, more than ever, The Best Horror of the Year provides the petrifying horror fiction readers have come to expect - and enjoy.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Only a few decent stories in this bunch.
- By Jerry on 12-06-14
By: Ellen Datlow - author/editor, and others
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A List of Cages
- By: Robin Roe
- Narrated by: Graham Halstead, Christopher Gebauer
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 261
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 234
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 234
When Adam Blake lands the best elective ever in his senior year, serving as an aide to the school psychologist, he thinks he's got it made. Sure, it means a lot of sitting around, which isn't easy for a guy with ADHD, but he can't complain, since he gets to spend the period texting all his friends. Then the doctor asks him to track down the troubled freshman who keeps dodging her, and Adam discovers that the boy is Julian - the foster brother he hasn't seen in five years.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Heart wrenching!
- By Heather Shaver on 02-28-18
By: Robin Roe
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Mirrored
- By: Alex Flinn
- Narrated by: Amanda Dolan, Caitlin Davies, James Fouhey, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 48
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 39
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 40
Celine's life is the stuff fairy tales are made of. She's beautiful, talented, and brave. Unfortunately, her tale comes complete with a wicked stepmother! When Violet steps into Celine's life, everything changes, and weird things begin to happen to her - bizarre accidents, strange illnesses, and rabid animal attacks. Celine doesn't feel safe anywhere. It's almost as if some hateful witch is out to get her.
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4 out of 5 stars
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It was pretty good, just not a book that I would listen to over and over again
- By Pablo Valdez on 04-27-17
By: Alex Flinn
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Superheroes
- By: Peter S. Beagle, Daryl Gregory, James Patrick Kelly, and others
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman, Joe Barrett, Christina Delaine, and others
- Length: 17 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 169
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 149
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Story4 out of 5 stars 148
Modern gods and goddesses, remote, revered - and like the pantheon of heroes and heroines of ancient myth - possessing great power tempered with flaws. Now, find within this anthology great tales by gifted and award-winning authors who move superheroes from the four-color panels of comic books to the fantastic pages of fiction, stories that will remind anyone who ever wanted to wear a cape or don a cowl of the extraordinary powers of the imagination!
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1 out of 5 stars
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Pretentious tired old concepts
- By BookofJoy on 12-29-14
By: Peter S. Beagle, and others
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The Silent History
- By: Eli Horowitz, Matthew Derby, Kevin Moffett
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman, LJ Ganser
- Length: 14 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 76
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 72
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 72
It begins as a statistical oddity: a spike in children born with acute speech delays. Physically normal in every way, these children never speak and do not respond to speech; they don't learn to read, don't learn to write. As the number of cases grows to an epidemic level, theories spread. Maybe it's related to a popular antidepressant; maybe it's environmental. Or maybe these children have special skills all their own.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A Thought-Provoking Premise
- By Doug - Audible on 03-31-15
By: Eli Horowitz, and others
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Sprout
- By: Dale Peck
- Narrated by: Ted Coluca Jr.
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 98
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 76
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Story4 out of 5 stars 77
Sprout Bradford has a secret. It's not what you think he'll tell you he's gay. He'll tell you about his dads drinking and his mother's death. The green fingerprints everywhere tell you when he last dyed his hair. But neither the reader nor Sprout are prepared for what happens when Sprout suddenly finds he's had a more profound effect on the lives around him than he ever thought possible. Sprout is both hilarious and gripping; a story of one boy at odds with the expected.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent Coming of Age Story
- By marie on 07-17-13
By: Dale Peck
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The Last Time We Say Goodbye
- By: Cynthia Hand
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 515
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 464
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 467
The last time Lex was happy, it was before. When she had a family that was whole. A boyfriend she loved. Friends who didn't look at her like she might break down at any moment. Now she's just the girl whose brother killed himself. And it feels like that's all she'll ever be. As Lex starts to put her life back together, she tries to block out what happened the night Tyler died. But there's a secret she hasn't told anyone--a text Tyler sent that could have changed everything.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Such sweet sorrow
- By Lesaly on 04-26-15
By: Cynthia Hand
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Alex, Approximately
- By: Jenn Bennett
- Narrated by: Amy Melissa Bentley
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 303
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 278
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 278
Classic movie buff Bailey "Mink" Rydell has spent months crushing on a witty film geek she only knows online by "Alex". Two coasts separate the teens until Bailey moves in with her dad, who lives in the same California surfing town as her online crush. Faced with doubts (what if he's a creep in real life - or worse?), Bailey doesn't tell Alex she's moved to his hometown. Or that she's landed a job at the local tourist-trap museum. Or that she's being heckled daily by the irritatingly hot museum security guard, Porter Roth - a.k.a. her new arch-nemesis.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great But Don't Read the Synopsis!
- By Lorna on 09-26-17
By: Jenn Bennett
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Loving Day
- By: Mat Johnson
- Narrated by: J. D. Jackson
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 177
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 165
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 166
On his first night in his new home, Warren spies two figures in the grass outside; when he screws up the nerve to confront them, they disappear. The next day he encounters ghosts of a different kind: In the face of the teenage girl he meets at a comics convention, he sees the mingled features of his white father and his black mother, both now dead. The girl is his daughter, and she thinks she's white.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Teen lit with heavy erotic imagery
- By Itinerant T on 08-26-15
By: Mat Johnson
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Vivian Apple at the End of the World
- By: Katie Coyle
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 42
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 39
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Story4 out of 5 stars 39
Seventeen-year-old Vivian Apple never believed in the evangelical Church of America, unlike her recently devout parents. But when Vivian returns home the night after the supposed 'Rapture,' all that's left of her parents are two holes in the roof. Suddenly, she doesn't know who or what to believe. With her best friend Harp and a mysterious ally, Peter, Vivian embarks on a desperate cross-country road trip through a paranoid and panic-stricken America to find answers.
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2 out of 5 stars
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juvenile
- By emily on 12-16-19
By: Katie Coyle
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Freeks
- A Novel
- By: Amanda Hocking
- Narrated by: Em Eldridge
- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 46
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 43
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Story4 out of 5 stars 43
Mara has become used to the extraordinary. Roaming from place to place with Gideon Davorin's Traveling Carnival, she longs for an ordinary life where no one has the ability to levitate or predict the future. She gets her chance when the struggling sideshow sets up camp in the small town of Caudry, and she meets a gorgeous local guy named Gabe. But before long Mara realizes there's a dark presence lurking in the town that's threatening the lives of her friends.
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5 out of 5 stars
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love!
- By Amazon Customer on 08-15-17
By: Amanda Hocking
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Borderline
- The Arcadia Project, Book 1
- By: Mishell Baker
- Narrated by: Arden Hammersmith
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 324
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 300
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 299
A year ago Millie lost her legs and her filmmaking career in a failed suicide attempt. Just when she's sure the credits have rolled on her life story, she gets a second chance with the Arcadia Project: a secret organization that polices the traffic to and from a parallel reality filled with creatures straight out of myth and fairy tales. For her first assignment, Millie is tasked with tracking down a missing movie star who also happens to be a nobleman of the Seelie Court.
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5 out of 5 stars
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It's the characters
- By Ken Schneyer on 02-11-17
By: Mishell Baker
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Weregirl
- By: C. D. Bell
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Evans
- Length: 10 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 32
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 30
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 29
Teammate Cynthia invites Nessa on a nighttime run through Tether's overgrown forest trails. But she speeds ahead, leaving Nessa alone to discover a trapped wolf. Nessa tries to free the animal but is badly bitten, seemingly ruining her hopes for a strong fall season. Instead, Nessa's freakishly quick recovery is followed by improved running times. All her senses are heightened. Nessa has transformed. She has become a werewolf.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent first Werewolf YA Start
- By GH on 10-26-17
By: C. D. Bell
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Stories
- All-New Tales
- By: Neil Gaiman - author/editor, Al Sarrantonio - editor, Joe Hill, and others
- Narrated by: Anne Bobby, Jonathan Davis, Katherine Kellgren, and others
- Length: 18 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 886
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 691
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Story4 out of 5 stars 691
The best stories pull readers in and keep them turning the pages, eager to discover more—to find the answer to the question: "And then what happened?" The true hallmark of great literature is great imagination, and as Neil Gaiman and Al Sarrantonio prove with this outstanding collection, when it comes to great fiction, all genres are equal.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Something for Everyone
- By Nicole on 05-24-17
By: Neil Gaiman - author/editor, and others
What listeners say about Fat Vampire
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- SHMGLY
- 01-15-19
Disappointment
Hope I can trade. I don't enjoy open ended endings and the overall story was not fulfilling light the Anne Rice vampire series.
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- NanPhil
- 06-26-23
lazy author
This was a bookclub choice so I had to get through it with 4 weekly evaluations. All of us concluded that it was similar to a high school attempt by an author who had a time crunch and had only written half the book.
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Daniel Herrera
- 05-18-19
What the hell
The ending was confusing and the whole vampire hunter thing went nowhere. It started with him already a vampire and no real back story on how it happen.
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Westly
- 05-08-12
I had to give up...
I like coming of age stories. I also happen to like teenage vampires trying to live with their condition. This...was terrible. The reader sounded like he didn't want to be there, and, after listening to the story, yeah, I can totally understand why. Typically, I give a book halfway through it before I give up on it, but, man, this was a struggle.
The story is one of those were nothing really happens. While I enjoy Slice-of-life stores this is more of a slice-of-death, and not in the entertaining way either.
Take my advice, instead of getting this Try something like the Reformed Vampires' Support Group. At least things HAPPEN while they're busy being miserable.
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5 people found this helpful