Farm or Die
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Narrated by:
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Boise Blue
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Raya Kane
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By:
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Montgomery Quinn
About this listen
Dapy was an odd fellow. Not the bad sort. Just the quiet sort. The animals spoke to him far better than people did. Not that Dapy would ever mind. Living the simple farmer’s life was all he looked forward to.
Until it wasn’t.
His parents died quickly. Struck down by the wasting sickness. It was all he could do to run and beg the local baron for medicine. Medicine that came too late.
Reeling from the loss of his parents, on a farm he couldn’t maintain on his own, Dapy knows he has a debt that can never be repaid to a man who would never forgive it. With a last goodbye to the only home he had ever known, our young farmer stepped off the path... And stumbled over an intoxicated wizard on the road.
Through the drunken wizard’s slurred speech, Dapy accepts a job.
As a farmer.
On a farm, with strange magical qualities.
And a history of mysteriously dead farmers.
Only now it’s too late. The farm is too important to risk revealing. Dapy is forever stuck. Him, alongside a very cranky cat.
Surely the pretty kitty had nothing to do with a range of mysterious deaths? SURELY?
©2024 Montgomery Quinn (P)2024 Royal Guard Publishing LLCListeners also enjoyed...
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 27
I never thought, after all those fantasy novels. That I would ever live through one. My name is Tobias Conner-Kyanite. And yeah. That name is still something I’m not quite used to yet. Most of this was an accident. But not a regret. Not even a little. I’d like to say, that boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl and boy marries girl. Unfortunately, or I like to think, fortunately.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great twist to Isekai
- By A Marin on 02-02-25
By: Montgomery Quinn
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Mana Creamery
- A Cozy Slice of Life Adventure
- By: Austin Beck
- Narrated by: Ally Frey
- Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 17
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 15
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Story4 out of 5 stars 15
In the enchanting town of Frostwall, a young frost mage named Alaric stumbles upon a hidden recipe that will change his life forever. Armed with his magical abilities and an old ice cream churner, Alaric sets out to create the most extraordinary frozen treat the realm has ever tasted. But his journey is far from simple. From battling fearsome monsters to befriending a mysterious fawn girl, Alaric's quest takes him on an unexpected adventure. As he works to perfect his magical ice cream, he finds himself entangled in a web of friendship, danger, love, and self-discovery.
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5 out of 5 stars
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great pacing, gentlemen conduct towards real respectable women
- By Big A on 12-18-24
By: Austin Beck
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Wings and Tails
- By: Isaac Lee
- Narrated by: Evan Reed, Amber Hartt
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 100
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 85
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 85
One sunny day, a routine airshow ended with me flying through a portal to another world. Here, warplanes aren’t the only thing in the sky. Oh, and my mind has a tendency to see what others are thinking. Now, amongst airships, beautiful beastkin, floating continents and telepathic powers, I’ll have to pick a side to fight for. When I do, I'll have to prove my loyalty, my skill, and play my part in saving this world from an evil that crossed from my world into this one. On the ground, I’m just a man, but in the air, I’m as powerful as a dragon.
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5 out of 5 stars
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5 stars
- By Joshua Airington on 06-05-24
By: Isaac Lee
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I Summoned My What?!
- By: Montgomery Quinn
- Narrated by: Raya Kane, Wayne Kelly
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 277
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 229
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 229
Wanting to go into business with his best friend, Evie, Calon never could have expected how his life would turn in an instant. Rushing into the burning home of a neighbor, the unthinkable happens, and our fearless main character dies a hero. Only...he doesn't quite make it to the afterlife.
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1 out of 5 stars
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really bad
- By Anonymous User on 04-26-23
By: Montgomery Quinn
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The Ascension Game Omnibus
- Books 1-4
- By: Ace Arriande
- Narrated by: Giancarlo Herrera, Hannah Schooner
- Length: 27 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 22
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 19
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Story4 out of 5 stars 19
The complete series for a single credit! Pizza, coffee, and a library full of unplayed games. That's the plan, or at least it was supposed to be. Instead, an average gamer finds himself seemingly transported into the world of his favorite game.
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3 out of 5 stars
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What needs to be said?
- By Damien Wollam on 11-13-24
By: Ace Arriande
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Dragon's Hoard
- A LitRPG A Slice of Life and Fantasy
- By: Gwen Grayson
- Narrated by: Jonathan Waters, Ellory Lane
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 153
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 126
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 126
One minute, I’m working a boring office job and craving more from life. The next? I’m dropped in the middle of a new world as a dragon with jet-black scales and obsidian flames to match. Luckily, I still have my human form, because the locals weren't happy to see me. Thankfully, one was a sweet fox girl who loves to daydream. Together we hunt to survive, build ourselves a shelter, and fight some dragon slayers—even recruit a cute battle-elf. While living the cozy cabin life and having the occasional battle to the death with the locals, another dragon plagues the kingdom.
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1 out of 5 stars
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This story is actually a XXX harem
- By Matt on 05-05-24
By: Gwen Grayson
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Mortal Scorn
- By: A.V. Ray
- Narrated by: Kat Riley, Byron Ormond
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 14
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 14
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 14
Connor Huntsson had a plan: build a home, marry his best friend, and make lots of babies. The house was easy—but the rest? Problematic. Getting into a brawl alongside the chieftain’s daughter might have been forgivable, but kidnapping a drunken king would lead to war. Armed with his inheritance and the truth of who he is, Connor still wants to live the life of a man. But to do that, he must first seek the powers of a god.
By: A.V. Ray
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Harmony
- Harmony, Book 1
- By: Alan Moria
- Narrated by: Jack Smith, Anne Marie Lebeaur
- Length: 14 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 87
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 81
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 81
Throughout his entire life, Nate has been considered a cripple and an inconvenience, solely for being born without the precious magic for which the Great Arcane Families were both respected and feared. Being powerless as he was, he couldn’t fight back when choosing to do the right thing was rewarded with even more injustice from old men on even older thrones.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Its ok last 3.5 hours dragged on
- By ROD on 07-29-24
By: Alan Moria
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The Realm Dungeon
- Primer for the Apocalypse, Book 3
- By: Braided Sky
- Narrated by: Eliza Summers
- Length: 11 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Emie Mercer was one of several billion people who survived the apocalypse and was introduced to a new reality where magic was commonplace and everyone had access to a system. Unfortunately, the rest of Emie's family wasn't so lucky.
By: Braided Sky
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Conscripted
- Chronicles of the Isekai’d Hexinblade, Book 1
- By: Patrick Underwood
- Narrated by: Jonathan Waters, Aurora Bliss
- Length: 13 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 33
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 29
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Story5 out of 5 stars 29
Have you ever come across those stories with heroes who knew just how to get things done? The ones who were masters in five different martial arts, and knew ten ways to skin a bear after killing it with their bare hands? Yeah, that wasn’t me. Hell, I had trouble asking a girl out on a date. But someone in clerical must have made an error. Because I got ripped from an airplane on my way home after my last day in the Coast Guard. I mean, come on, I wasn’t even in one of the hardcore branches of the military or anything!
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great start!
- By Brian on 04-09-25
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Oathbreaker
- Goblin's Allure
- By: Montgomery Quinn
- Narrated by: Byron Ormond, Kat Riley
- Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 83
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 70
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 70
I took an oath to destroy them all. That not a single goblin would remain on this world. Trapped in the skeleton of an old dark elf ruin, deep beneath the trees and grass. I found her. The festering goddess that unleashed this plague upon the world. The one I would need to destroy, in order to complete my life’s mission. But she too, longs for the end. Despite my efforts to uphold my oath, I am thrust into a new world to start my slaughter once again. But the twisted creatures of my nightmares aren’t here.
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4 out of 5 stars
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It was OK, but there were issues.
- By Anonymous User on 10-18-23
By: Montgomery Quinn
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The Returned 1
- By: Dante King
- Narrated by: Raya Kane, Richard Brock
- Length: 12 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 25
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 19
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 19
Toby Adams saved the world once before. Now he must do it again. The catch? This world isn’t Earth. It’s Eclipsia, a fantasy realm Toby visited as a kid. And he’s having a bit of trouble remembering how he accomplished his world-saving mission the first time. Magic was involved, he’s sure of that. Powerful companions, too. Possibly even a magical weapon of some kind.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not his best
- By Jay Bryant on 11-23-24
By: Dante King
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Dark City Girls
- An Urban Fantasy
- By: Michael Dalton, Adam Lance
- Narrated by: Evan Jordan, Alyssa Poon
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 67
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 61
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 61
For a hundred and fifty years, Ezekiel Zane knew nothing but war—endless war in the name of the Fates, the Fae, and anyone who would hire him. Yet the glory of leading the most elite team of magical mercenaries in existence cost him the only thing he ever loved. He’s done. Retired to a community of renegade fae, street-racing shifters, and fallen celestials, Zane’s quiet life on the beach comes with challenges no greater than finding a reason to get out of bed in the morning and knowing when to call it a night at the bar down the street.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Gold
- By KEVIN P. on 11-08-24
By: Michael Dalton, and others
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Leyline Magus Omnibus: Books 1-3
- By: Isaac Keyes, Marcus Sloss
- Narrated by: Adam Stubbs, Mia Fothergill
- Length: 27 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 30
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 28
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Story5 out of 5 stars 28
Dark forces pull Dan into a world he never imagined was real. Left stranded and alone, he quickly realizes that this unexpected journey comes with a twist. The power of the leylines flows through his body, giving him power unlike any in the world can wield. As he sets out to find the answers of how he came to be in this world, he comes to the aid of a beautiful stranger who becomes his guide—and perhaps more—in this strange place. Will he find answers, or will the evil befouling the land find him first?
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5 out of 5 stars
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A great magic story!
- By Anonymous User on 02-17-25
By: Isaac Keyes, and others
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The Bawdy Ballads of Bodrick the Bard: The Complete Omnibus
- By: Serena Silverlake, Virgil Knightley
- Narrated by: Ellory Lane, Ben Hart
- Length: 17 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 12
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 12
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Story5 out of 5 stars 12
In his illustrious career as a bard for the band known as Wanderlust, Bodrick has met countless beautiful women, slain untold foes, and done the impossible more times than he can count—not that that's saying much. It’s a good thing he has Plink Creamenickers, a mysterious and beautiful pixie from Court Creamenickers, to handle the math for him. But Bodrick’s golden retriever-like personality can be, ahem, hard for her to keep a leash on at times. It’s never long before his... certain extremities... lead him into one new escapade after another, broke or not.
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5 out of 5 stars
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worth it!
- By Jake Anderson on 03-10-25
By: Serena Silverlake, and others
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After the End Omnibus
- Books 1-3
- By: Dante King
- Narrated by: Melanie Hastings, Jonathan Waters
- Length: 34 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 20
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 18
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 18
The Splinter came, and the world ended. Ryne Miller woke up five hundred years later. Now, all alone and with no one he knew left alive, he chances across humans among the concrete wilderness. And these aren't people like him. No, these are stone-age like tribespeople - three women whose tribe has been slaughtered by a Great Beast.
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4 out of 5 stars
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honestly good so far into chapter 5
- By Jeff G on 01-08-25
By: Dante King
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The Maker's Metal
- By: Dante King, Matt Waid
- Narrated by: Evan Jordan, Alyssa Poon
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 26
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 24
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Story5 out of 5 stars 24
Only David Montague, billionaire inventor, stands in their way. With the ability to read auras, he’s amassed for himself wealth and power, but now his ability will be turned toward more noble ends: defending humanity.
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5 out of 5 stars
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So interesting
- By bill on 04-06-25
By: Dante King, and others
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Country Mage: The Complete Series
- A Slice of Life Fantasy Adventure
- By: Jack Bryce
- Narrated by: Owen Samuels, Scarlett Valene
- Length: 64 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 185
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 175
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Story4 out of 5 stars 175
James's great adventure begins with a simple thing — a rustic cabin in the countryside. Charmed by the prospect, he decides to leave his stressful city life behind and move into the woods. But country living isn't boring. There's a quaint town nearby with kind folks who still help each other out. Maybe the bubbly blonde storekeeper has a job or two for James? And let's not forget the magical legacy waiting for James, tracing back through the history of his family.
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3 out of 5 stars
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MC has poor judgement
- By Jordan Smith on 11-21-24
By: Jack Bryce
What listeners say about Farm or Die
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Gilbert M. Stack
- 12-31-24
The Plot Sort of Disappears
This book starts off well with a fascinating mystery about a magical farm and the demon who lives there, but looks like a cat so she isn’t particularly scary. Then about halfway through the animals on the farm begin polymorphing into women and begin to have sex with the farmer pretty much for the entire second half of the story. The plot, which was interesting to that point, kind of stops completely which was certainly disappointing.
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